Chapter Zach
Zach
Can I really go through with this? I don’t really know.
What I really want isn’t an option. I was able to hold off last night.
Make the excuse that I was tired and way too full to go to a crowded club and dance, but the truth is if I were going there with Adam—as his date—I could’ve dance the entire night away.
But I can’t back out tonight. We had an early dinner after a day of walking around the city. It was a perfect day honestly. We found a cool history museum downtown and spent a couple of hours there. We had lunch at the food truck outside of it—talk about convenient.
We went to a couple of shops, and I got a couple of things for my sisters and he grabbed a couple of things for his parents. It was a good day.
And honestly I wish we could just skip this part and hang out in the room again, but he went to all this trouble for me. I need to at least try.
So now, I’m showered and dressed in tight jeans and black button down shirt, my hair styled a little bit and standing next to Adam—who is also freshly showered, wearing a bright blue button down and dark jeans—in the elevator of the hotel room getting ready to walk to the club.
He didn’t spend too long fussing over his blond hair, but he didn’t need to. Adam is just gorgeous, completely and totally effortlessly. My entire body flushes thinking about how many men are going to be all over my best friend as soon as we go inside, but I try to force my jealousy away.
He’s here for me.
He did all of this—going way out of his comfort zone—for me.
We make the walk in the cold night air to the club and after we show ID to prove that we are 18, but not 21 one and get a special stamp stating that we go inside. The music is loud, the lights are low and I notice the stamp on my hand glows in the dark.
I wish excitement was what I was feeling as I look around and see men and women dancing in the middle of the room. Lots and lots of men dancing together, grinding on each other.
It’s nothing like anything I’ve ever seen in real life before. This does not happen in Kensley. Not ever. And while it’s freeing to see, it also makes me sick because the only one I want to dance with is standing right next to me.
And I don’t think that’s going to happen.
“Let’s go to the bar. Get a drink.” Adam says in my ear, he’s standing so close I can smell the hotel shampoo he used. It didn’t smell that good when I was washing my own hair with it, but damn it smells good on Adam.
I nod my head, even though all we can grab is a soda. I could use a drink at the moment to loosen me up. My entire body feels stiff as we make our way to the bar and order two sodas.
Adam pays for it and then we take a seat on the barstools and just look out into the crowd of sweaty bodies. “Wow.” He says and I turn to look at him.
“Wow?”
He nods, his attention still on the dancefloor. “This is different.”
I wonder if watching men kiss other men and dance with him bothers him. I don’t think so. But I can’t really read his expression. “Yeah. Are you okay?”
His eyes meet mine now, a frown on his handsome face. “Of course I am. See anyone you like?”
His voice sounds strained with the question as he his go back to the dancefloor and I force my gaze to follow. Do I? I don’t know.
Sure, there are a lot of hot guys here. But do I want to actually dance with any of them? Touch them? Let them touch me?
I’m not so sure.
I shrug, “The blond wearing the black tank top is kind of cute.”
I turn in time to see Adam scowling as he looks around the dancefloor. “The one wearing leather pants?”
I smile into a sip of my soda, “Yeah.”
“He’s so….” His nose crinkles, “Small.”
I laugh and try not to spit out my drink as I turn to look at the blond again. He’s not really that small in stature, but compared to me and Adam, he definitely is. A good half a foot shorter than us both and we each have fifty pounds of muscle on him. But he’s pretty.
“I don’t judge on size.”
“Is that your type?” He asks, turning his attention back to me. “Like, small petite guys?”
My face flushes because I’m not really sure I have a specific type.
Other than Adam that is. Adam is for sure my damn type.
But maybe that’s why I picked that guy. He looks the opposite of Adam—minus having almost the same color hair.
The guy out there is small and bubbly looking.
Working the crowd and giggling as he dances.
“I don’t know.”
“Well…” Adam stands up, leaving his glass on the bar and taking my hand, “Let’s go find out. I don’t think he’s here with anyone specifically.”
“What?” I squeak as I scramble to place my drink on the bar and follow my best friend who is pulling me to the dancefloor. “Now?’
“Yes. Now.” We reach the dancefloor and Adam shocks me by placing his hands on my hips, swaying the music.
I’m staring at him, trying to figure out who the hell this guy is because I’ve never seen Adam dance. Not ever. And it’s not like it’s anything crazy or special, but here he is, moving with the rhythm and trying to get me to go along. He’s touching me.
And when that happens I think we’ve established my brain just doesn’t work. So I’m barely moving and I don’t really notice when our bodies move close to the blond guy and he joins in.
This should excite me. I should turn toward the blond and touch him, grind on him. But he’s at my back and Adam is at my front. I can barely breathe, my dick trying to escape my way too tight jeans and attack my best friend, not giving one single fuck about the small blond at my back.
“Relax.” Adam breathes into my ear and my body is doing anything, but relaxing. It’s on high alert, every single nerve ending standing attention just like my cock that is so fucking hard it hurts.
Adam is holding onto me, but then he must take the hint from the blond stranger because he releases me just as I’m spun around and now the blond guy is rubbing up on my front. I can’t see Adam anymore. I can’t feel him and I don’t like it.
“My my, aren’t you a cutie. Let me guess, country boy coming into the big city.” The blond’s hands trail over my chest, “Oh you’re big.” He leans into my ear and I don’t feel the same way at all like I did when Adam was in my ear, “You wanna show me just how big?”
He pulls back, his eyes a light shade of blue, blinking at me in mock innocence. I turn my head and see that Adam is back at the bar. He left me here, but he’s watching. He doesn’t look happy, but he does nod his head in encouragement.
I turn to face the blond offering me what I should want.
But it doesn’t feel right. “Sorry. I uh…need to get back to my friend.” I barely manage and the blond pouts.
His full red lips pursed before he waves me off, “Your loss, sweetie.”
I don’t even think as I dart back to the bar, grab Adam’s hand and then high tail it the hell out of there. The cold night air hits my lungs, but I don’t want to stop walking.
“What the hell? Zach?” Adam says, but he keeps pace with me. “Are you okay?”
We make it a block away before I stop. I shove my hands in my jeans pockets because it’s fucking cold and I wish I had my coat. “Sorry. I’m really sorry. I just…can we please go back to the hotel?”
“Are you okay?” He asks, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Did he says something? I thought you were okay. You looked like you were having fun.”
“I was.” Sort of. I mean I was when it was Adam’s hands on me. “I just I don’t want this. I want to go back to the hotel.”
He gives me a quick nod and removes his hands from my shoulders and I pull mine out of my pockets so we can walk faster to the hotel. Thankfully it’s warm as soon as we walk into the lobby and climb onto the elevator.
We don’t say anything on the ride up to our room. We don’t say anything when we both walk into the room and the door closes with a click or when we both sit on our own individual beds.
I feel sick, like maybe he’s mad at me, but I couldn’t stay there. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it.
“Adam…” My voice cracks and he lifts his eyes to look at me and I don’t see anger in them. Not at all.
He moves to sit next to me on my bed and I feel the warmth of his powerful thighs next to me, but I try to force myself to focus. “I feel like I failed you.”
“W-what?” I ask, my eyes wide as I stare at him.
“You deserve to have all the normal teenage experiences despite living in fucking Kensley. You deserve to kiss and hookup. I thought I was helping, but if he said something…”
I put my hand on his thigh, which is a big mistake because it’s all powerful and warm and it’s hard to focus. But I try anyway. “He didn’t do anything. And you definitely didn’t do anything wrong. I know you wanted this for me…”
I don’t know what to say to him. “I did.”
His eyes close and he looks so pained. Damn it, I should have tried harder.
“I didn’t like it though.”
What now? His eyes open and he’s looking directly at me. “You what?”
“I hated watching him with you. Putting his hands on you.” I’m shocked totally stupid when he brings one of his hands up and brushes over my cheek. I try not to but I fail hard and lean right into his touch.
“You…you didn’t?” I ask dumbly.
He shakes his head, his thumb brushing over my lower lip. I have no idea what is happening but I’m entranced as I stare at him. “I hated it.” He whispers.
I don’t understand what he’s saying but when he leans closer to me, his tongue darting out to lick his full, luscious lips, I’m not listening any more. My heart is pounding so damn hard in my chest and my palms sweat like crazy as he brushes his lips against mine.
I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t move. All I can do is sit here and feel. My eyes close as he moves his hand from my cheek to the back of my neck and then he presses the sweetest kiss against my lips. Barely moving, but I feel the jolt of electricity.
I feel like I’m flying as he kisses me and then finally I move. I press into him, my hand clutching his thigh as I kiss him back, my lips parting and letting his tongue gently sweep inside.
His hand clutches my hair as he explores my mouth and my entire body feels like it’s on fire, but just as I’m about to deepen the kiss, as I’m about to let my hands roam, Adam pulls back.
He looks dazed as he brings his free hand up to his mouth and drags his finger over his lips that look a little puffy from our kiss. “No more clubs.”
I nod stupidly at his words and then he stands up and grabs his bag. “I’m going to go change, okay?”
I nod again. Even slower. Because what the hell just happened?
He kissed me.
Why?
Because he was jealous?
I think about that for a moment. He said he didn’t like seeing that guy touching me, but Adam as far as I know isn’t interested in me like that. He isn’t interested in anyone sexually.
Was it a friendly kiss?
Or was it… oh God. My stomach rolls as I ponder that. Was it pity? Did he just want to give me my first kiss with a guy.
Adam walks out of the bathroom in sweats and a t-shirt and then grabs my bag, pulling out the same for me and tossing them to me. “Go change.”
I’m on autopilot as I do what he says, all while thinking about that kiss because I mean what the hell else can I think about right now?
He kissed me.
And it was the best kiss of my life.
But what if it didn’t mean the same to him. When I get out of the bathroom, Adam shuts off the light and I climb into my bed feeling cold and alone despite the heat being on and Adam being in the room.
But it doesn’t last long.
I’m shocked once again when Adam lifts the covers and climbs into my bed with me, wrapping his warm, solid body around mine.
I want to ask him so many things, but he just whispers softly in my ear, “Sleep.”
And god damn it I do. I close my eyes and I just revel in his warmth and comfort.
It doesn’t matter why he kissed me. It really doesn’t.
Because he’s my best friend and he’s here. I have him. And as he holds me tight, I know that no matter what, I’ll always have him one way or another.
And that is enough for me to fall asleep with a smile on my face.