Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
SIDELINES BY PHOEBE brIDGERS
I went to bed with no intention of sneaking out in the morning, but my fight or flight got the better of me this morning when I opened my eyes in a foreign place.
It was Bellamy’s room. I was warm and perfectly comfortable.
But I don’t sleep over. I don’t do that, and he and I have both talked about the lack of strings.
He wanted me to stay the night but that doesn’t mean he needs to cook my breakfast and bring me a cup of coffee every time I sleep over.
I was afraid of how awkward it could possibly feel waking up with him.
I say that as if there will be any more.
I’m not even sure if what happened last night would happen again.
If it were up to me Bellamy and I wouldn’t leave each other's bedrooms for the foreseeable future. I only have six days including today left before I’m on a train headed to northern Washington for the rest of summer.
Bellamy and I are coming to an end sooner than not, and he needs to start focusing on summer sessions.
This is an important year for him. The last thing I need is for Coach Corbin to start blaming me for anything.
We’ve both got big plans for after college.
We’ve both got futures in the NFL, and fake dating can’t get in the way of that… No matter how real it feels.
I didn’t want to sneak out, but I was afraid it would feel weird.
Or he’d wake up confused. He’s the nicest smelling boy I’ve ever woken up next to.
And I can also agree to say he doesn’t look completely disgusting like most do when they wake up.
He’s a peaceful sleeper, a heavy sleeper.
He doesn’t snore. Hell, he hardly even moved last night.
He kept me where he wanted me the whole time we were asleep.
I woke up in his arms, but he didn’t budge when I got up.
It’ll probably work out better this way anyway.
I went straight to my apartment after I left him.
I changed and freshened myself up, and then got back on the transit that runs all over campus.
The bus is slowing now in front of the stadium, and I’m the only one standing up to get off.
I’m in a tight pair of biker shorts, and a Seattle Pike University football shirt I got my freshman year.
My black hair is in a tight ponytail on the back of my head, and my face is washed clean from the night before.
I jog down the stairs of the bus and hold my small tote bag to my side, a water bottle, headphones, and a few other necessities inside.
I make my way to the field, and the sun is bright as I descend the stairs.
“Hart!” I jump at the sound of my last name, not expecting anyone to be here this early.
I turn over my shoulder and see Coach Corbin walking down the steps toward me.
He’s got sunglasses, his typical gym shorts, and a SPU shirt on.
He’s taller than me, somewhat muscular, and always keeps a straight face.
I know deep down he’s a big softie, but he definitely doesn’t look like it.
I remind myself of that, knowing that's what everyone says.
“Hey, Coach Corbin!” I wave to him, and he makes his way to the same step I’m on.
We walk together now, down the large stadium steps toward the field. My nerves are at an all-time high, wondering why he’s here, and why he’s wanting to talk to me.
“What are you doing here this early?” He looks at his watch that rests on his arm. It’s probably around 10 am now.
“I come here and run, normally I follow the football schedule and make sure that there’s no one going to be here before I come. Since there’s no football or cheer right now I’m in the clear,” I press my lips together with a smile.
“That is until next week. I wanted to talk to you about that,” He tells me, and I nod my head as we walk onto the track.
I drop my bag, and stand up straight, looking at him head on, “What’s up?”
“Well, Archer told me about you earlier this year when I said I was looking to recruit some students for summer sessions. Now I don’t like recruiting students, though I’m forced to most of the time.
But, I’ve had my eye on you, all the sports you help with, all the players you help.
The coaches from the other teams have nothing but good things to say about how hard you work.
You seem to know what you’re doing, and you also seem to really like sports too.
You get into the games, and you pay attention to stats with the season.
Compared to any other sports medicine student, you outshine all of them with all the extracurriculars you take part in.
Your grades are stellar too, you check all the boxes,” He layers on compliments which from what I know is very out of character for him.
He’s normally straight to the point.
“Thank you, coach,” I try not to get excited by the excessive compliments but it’s hard, especially from him.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you and my quarterback, but if I’m honest I don’t want to know.
It’s none of my damn business. Now as long as you can promise me that you and that boy keep your drama off my field, and that goes for every player on my team, could I recruit you?
I need someone for summer sessions, you’d learn alongside the physical therapist and athletic trainer for our team.
Can we have you for the rest of the summer?
That way the school can get off my ass, and I will know that my team is in capable hands. ”
I feel my jaw drop a bit. I was hoping to be on the field next semester.
The last football season that I will be able to participate in.
I wanted to be on the football team for years of course, but this is more than what I had thought I would get.
Especially considering how selective Coach Corbin is, and how persistent he is on not having students on his field besides the players themselves.
“Oh... If I agree, what does this mean for the rest of the year?”
He shrugs his broad shoulders, and places his hands on his hips, “If I like you. If the boys like you, and the other coaches too then I’ll onboard you for the season.
But that’s a big if. I’ll be getting progress reports from the PT, and the Athletic trainer the whole summer.
You’ve proved a lot from what I’ve seen, but I want more.
And I know it’s short notice, but you can think about it and get back to me alright? ”
I nod, knowing how eager I look, “Thank you, coach. I’ll email you with a response soon.”
My emotions skyrocket the second he nods his head to me, and turns away. He disappears through the stadium, going to the locker rooms from what I can tell.
This opportunity is one I’d be dumb to pass up, but it means I don’t get to see my parents for what feels like the last time before I’m out of school.
And to add to that, I was supposed to have this time to buffer before I had to see Bellamy every day at practice.
I can barely look at him now without imagining him shirtless.
I guess I can’t really blame his ex for being the way she is.
I don’t know what’s going to happen to my mental sanity if I see him every day for the rest of summer.
“Good morning to you too,” I look over my shoulder and see Bell walking down the stairs, his shirt gone, and a duffle bag over his shoulder.
I feel my cheeks heat up, feeling more embarrassed now that I snuck out as opposed to if I hadn’t. His being shirtless doesn’t help either. Sometimes I feel like a teenage girl when I look at him because he’s nothing short of one of those Abercrombie models from the mall.
“I figured you’d be here.. Well, actually, I figured you’d still be there when I woke up, but you weren't.”
I hesitate, he drops his bag down on the ground next to mine, and approaches me, crossing his arms over his bare chest. He towers over me, and I just look up, not knowing how to explain myself.
“I just didn’t want to bother you or make you feel like you had to do anything the... The morning after. I just... Yeah. I was afraid,” I feel so awkward.
I wish I could sink into the field, and disappear. I don’t like admitting my fear, especially not to Bellamy because it makes me feel vulnerable.
“There’s nothing about you that bothers me.
I’ve only got you for a few more days, no more sneaking out on me,” He hooks his finger around my chin.
“It’s a giant disappointment when I wake up thinking about you, and the night before…
Then you’re not there,” He tells me, and I know exactly what he means by huge disappointment now.
My cheeks grow red, and he smirks, shaking his head, “I’m sorry... If I had known you wanted me to stay, I would have stayed. I felt awkward. I’m not really used to being there the morning after... To be honest I’m not even used to sleeping next to someone.”
He shakes his head, “It’s fine. Don’t apologize for how you felt. Just know that next time, if there is one... That I don’t care if you’re next to me when I wake up, I’d prefer it that way actually.”
I probably would have come to that conclusion if I had actually thought about what I was doing this morning but I didn’t.
I ran out before I could really even replay what happened last night, and now that I’m thinking about it, and looking at him, all I feel is pressure in my lower stomach, and I’m embarrassed all over again.
“Don’t look so nervous... Come on... Let’s just run,” He nods his head and bends down to kiss my cheeks before he starts at a slow jog.
I move behind him, catching up quickly with ease. My eyes scan him as he starts to put his headphones in his ears, tuning everything else out. His face is just as perfect as it was last night and every day before... Last night... Him...