12. Jackson
12
JACKSON
B efore I stepped into the library, I paused and checked my phone. I’d looked at it at least ten times since I left the house this morning to see if Marcus had replied about when he planned to post the video.
When we spoke yesterday evening, he said it’d been full on at work, this week, so he hadn’t had a chance to edit it yet. At first I was worried that he was editing it on his office computer, but he reassured me that he’d intended to do it at home.
As desperate as I was to get it online so I could hopefully start earning some extra money, I understood that I had to be patient. Marcus was doing me a massive favour by taking care of all this stuff.
Just as I was about to go inside, my phone pinged.
Marcus
Here’s the edited video. Let me know if you’re happy with it and I’ll get it uploaded .
My heart thudded against my chest. I quickly walked away from the entrance, then pressed play.
As I watched myself thrusting my hips and stroking myself with a pink feather duster, embarrassment washed over me.
How had it come to this? I shook my head with disappointment.
Although I still thought the leopard skin thong was hideous, I supposed the video fitted the brief Marcus had given me to try and look like I was getting off on touching myself with a cleaning tool. And the music he’d added fitted the mood. It was just… really hard to watch.
‘You okay?’ Jess’s voice sounded from behind me and I almost jumped out of my skin.
I quickly paused the video, which was at the point where I was riding the feather duster between my legs like a cowboy competing in a rodeo. I hoped she hadn’t seen it.
My head bolted up, and when I saw that she wasn’t close enough to see my screen, I exhaled.
‘I was just about to come in, but a message came through.’
‘No worries! There’s still fifteen minutes before we open. I was just seeing if you were okay, that’s all.’
‘Yeah, great!’
‘Celeste is going to be in late this morning. She’s currently got her head hanging over the pub toilet throwing up.’
‘Shit. What’s wrong with her?’
‘Hangover, I suspect…’
‘Oh yeah! How was it last night?’
‘Good,’ she said without much enthusiasm. ‘Will you be okay to man the bookshop on your own? ’
‘Sure. I’ve got the hang of the till now.’
‘Cool. I’m just popping over to Sweet Treats. When I get back, can we go over your ideas for the cafe opening? I was thinking we could do one of those silent reading events you mentioned, so we could talk about that too.’
‘Course, boss,’ I said.
‘ Jess is fine. Boss makes me sound too… I dunno. It’s too formal.’
‘Got it, Jess .’
‘Want anything whilst I’m there? Coffee, muffin?’
‘Nah, thanks, I’m good.’
‘Okay. See you in a bit.’
I waved her off, then messaged Marcus to give him the green light. I’d already watched the video after I’d filmed it, and from what I’d seen, the edits seemed fine. I really didn’t want to watch it again.
As soon as I stepped into the library and walked down the corridor, my shoulders relaxed.
There was something about this place that was so calming. It was like some sort of magical bubble. It felt as if whenever I was here, the real world and all of the problems I faced somehow didn’t exist anymore. It might not pay the kind of salary I needed to cover Mum’s care, but being at this library was like eating a warm bowl of chicken soup. It really was good for my soul.
‘Morning!’ I said as I entered the library hall, where Jane was sifting through a pile of books.
‘Oh, hi!’ Her face brightened. ‘I didn’t hear you come in.’
‘Hope I didn’t scare you.’
‘No, no.’ She shook her head. ‘I was just focused, that’s all. ’
Jane looked beautiful as always. She had a pink silk blouse and a grey pencil skirt. A strand of loose hair had fallen from her bun onto the side of her face and I instantly wanted to reach up and brush it away.
‘How was last night? Jess just said Celeste is throwing up, so wouldn’t be in until later. Sounds like it was a wild one!’
‘Not sure. I went home early. I… I wasn’t feeling great.’
‘Oh?’ I frowned. ‘What’s wrong? You okay?’
‘Yeah.’ Jane waved her hand dismissively. ‘I’m fine now. It was just…’ She paused, her gaze flicking away from me. ‘Y’know. Girl stuff .’
‘Period pains?’ I asked. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. It’s your business. It’s just… Mum used to get bad cramps, so I know how hard it can be. When it was her time of the month, I made sure I had the paracetamol, hot water bottle and some chocolate around.’
‘She was lucky you were so understanding. How is your mum?’
My stomach clenched. I shouldn’t have mentioned her. Very few people knew about Mum’s condition, and talking about it was hard.
‘She’s…’ My voice trailed off. I wanted to say she was fine, but she wasn’t and I hated lying. I just couldn’t go into that now, though. I needed to focus on work. This library had already become my safe space. A place where I could escape reality. I needed to protect my mental health. If I crumbled again, I’d be no good to Mum or anyone. ‘I’ve got a meeting with Jess in a minute, so I wondered if I could get your opinion on something?’ I said, quickly changing the subject .
‘Course!’
‘It’s for the cafe opening. At first, I was thinking we could do a party, but then people would just come to get free food and drink, which could be expensive. What I really need is some kind of incentive to get people to spend money. So I was thinking, maybe for the opening day, we could offer anyone who buys a coffee or a hot drink a free bookish biscuit. And for people buying soup or sandwiches, they could get a free bookish cupcake. What do you think?’
‘I think it’s a great idea!’ Jane smiled and my heart swelled. ‘Nothing beats curling up with a good book, a cup of tea and a biscuit. Especially if the biccy’s got a bookish design.’
‘I’m going to speak to Maddie to see what’s possible design-wise, but I think all the biscuits we sell should have some kind of bookish theme because it’ll be something unique to our cafe and help us stand out.’
‘Definitely! I reckon loads of people will take pictures and post them on Instagram or TikTok too. I mean, who doesn’t love a good biscuit?’
‘So you’re still a biscuit fan, then?’ I asked.
‘Yes!’
‘Still a die-hard rich tea or digestives stan?’
‘You remembered?’ Her eyes widened.
‘Hard not to!’ I chuckled. ‘I remember that time we helped out at parents’ evening and as a thank-you, Mrs Clements said we could have the biscuits that were left over and you inhaled that packet of rich tea like you hadn’t eaten for years!’
‘I did not !’ she gasped, then the corner of her mouth twitched as she tried to stifle a smile .
‘You did ! I didn’t even get a look in!’ I laughed.
‘Because you said you didn’t like them! How anyone could not like rich tea biscuits is beyond me. They’re completely inoffensive. And they’re perfect for dunking!’
‘I’ll give you that at least. It wasn’t that I didn’t like them. I just preferred the more exciting biscuits. I’m more of a Party Rings, Jammie Dodgers or chocolate digestives kind of guy.’
‘What about Jaffa Cakes? You used to love those!’
Now it was my turn to be surprised.
‘Wow.’ I raised my eyebrow. ‘ You remembered.’ I smiled and our eyes locked.
Jane really did have beautiful eyes. I used to love when she took off her glasses so I could get a closer look.
My gaze dropped to her mouth and she bit her lip. Her lips looked so soft and for a second I wondered how they felt.
Then my mind flipped back to last night, when I’d accidentally walked in on her changing her top in the toilets.
When I saw her in her bra, my breath caught in my throat. Jane never exposed her body. At school she always wore the most conservative uniform options. Even in the summer months, she didn’t go for the open-neck school shirt. She went for the buttoned-up one with a tie.
Lots of the girls in class liked to flout the rules and wear skirts that were shorter than the school’s approved length, but Jane’s skirts were always long. And she was rarely seen without her thick tights underneath.
Even now as an adult, from what I’d seen over the past week and a bit since I’d joined the library, she liked to wear blouses buttoned all the way up, and her pencil skirts were never above the knee.
So to see her bare torso and neck and the curve of her breasts in that white bra instantly set my body on fire. But as much as I wanted to stay and admire how beautiful she looked, I knew I had to leave. We were colleagues.
‘Oh my God!’ Jess raced into the library, breaking the spell. For a second I thought maybe she had some kind of mind-reading super powers and was shocked about the fact that I’d just been picturing Jane half naked. Those fantasies were nothing compared to the ones I’d had when I was filming that video last Sunday night, though.
‘What’s wrong?’ Jane said.
‘I’ve just heard the news! It’s official!’ Jess gushed.
‘What is?’ I frowned.
‘The Office Delight sequel is coming out! It’s called Illicit Delight !’
‘No way!’ Whilst Jane seemed to mirror Jess’s excitement, I had no idea what they were talking about.
‘I’m guessing Office Delight is a novel?’ I asked. Seeing as they were both massive book fans, I’d put money on it being that instead of a film.
They both looked at me like I’d just suggested readers shouldn’t buy any new books until they’d finished reading the ones on their Tbr, which I’d already learnt was a crazy suggestion.
‘ Office Delight is only one of the greatest steamy romance novels ever written!’ Jess shouted before scanning the library in horror, then remembering that we weren’t open yet, so she hadn’t disturbed any members.
‘I finished it last week and it’s so good,’ Jane added.
‘It’s the best! Anyway, I just saw on Instagram that the author, D.D. Desire, is doing a book tour. So far she’s confirmed she’ll be doing a signing in Manchester and London, probably at Waterstones, but we need to find a way to get her here: to our library.’
‘How?’ Jane asked.
‘That’s what I need Jackson to figure out!’ She turned to face me with a glint in her eye that told me failure wasn’t an option. ‘I’ll leave you to it! I’ll come to the bookstore in ten minutes, Jackson, to run through your ideas.’ Jess smiled, then left the room.
‘Why do I get the feeling that getting this Desire author woman to do a signing here isn’t going to be straightforward?’ I looked at Jane and raised an eyebrow.
‘Because D.D. Desire’s been out of the limelight for a while. She wrote Office Delight a few years ago and it blew up on TikTok.’
‘That’s great, right?’
‘Yes and no. She sold millions of copies. But along with the success and millions of fans came a load of haters. People thought it was cool to slag off her books and after that she became a recluse. The negativity messed up her creativity and she stopped writing.’
‘Damn.’ I shook my head. ‘That’s a shame.’
‘Yeah. Especially for her fans, who were desperate to know what happened with Rocco and Virginia. They’re the main characters.’
‘Got it.’
‘So the fact that she’s written a sequel is a big deal. But I’m guessing that after all the hate she got, she’ll probably want to limit her tour and only stick to big cities.’
‘Maybe.’ I rested my finger on my chin. ‘But if she’s worried about haters, then a small, intimate venue at a library dedicated to love and the romance genre could be the perfect location. We could have a curated selection of readers—her biggest fans all here ready to give her a warm welcome.’
‘I like your thinking!’ Jane said.
‘Do you know where she’s based? Is she American?’
‘No, she’s British.’
‘Even better. That means she won’t have to worry about travelling thousands of miles to get back home. It’ll be easier to squeeze in an extra visit at a certain romance library.’ I grinned, my mind racing as I tried to think of ways I’d convince her to come here.
‘Definitely.’
‘And I’m guessing that because she’s such a big deal, we have her Office Delight book in our library?’
‘We have multiple copies, but as soon as they’re returned they go straight back out again. Someone checked out the last copy yesterday morning. I think I overheard Celeste saying we’d sold out in the bookshop too. Hopefully the new order will come in next week.’
‘Shit. If I’m going to work on this, I’d like to start reading it sooner, and I’d rather buy or borrow it from here than get it somewhere else. I could get the ebook or audiobook instead, but I prefer reading paperbacks.’
‘Well, I could…’ Jane paused. ‘Never mind.’
‘What?’ I frowned.
‘I have a paperback copy I could lend to you, but, it’s kind of…’
‘ Worn? ’ I smirked and Jane’s cheeks turned pink.
‘No!’ Her eyes popped. ‘I don’t mean… not like that! There’s no sticky pages or anything!’
‘I’m only joking! I know you love books too much to soil them. Even at school you were horrified whenever you saw someone dog-earing the textbook pages. Do you still carry spare bookmarks in your bag?’
‘How did you remember that ?’ She looked at me like I’d just performed a complex maths calculation without using a calculator.
What Jane didn’t realise was that I remembered everything about her from school. How smart she was, the way she used to bite the end of her pen when she was thinking or couldn’t figure out the answer to a question.
The way when we had lunch, she always ate her vegetables first, then cut up her meat into tiny pieces before taking the first bite.
How she carefully snapped her rich tea biscuit in half before dunking it into her tea.
And how she never invited me to her parents’ house because she knew they wouldn’t approve of our friendship.
Yep. I remembered everything.
‘It’s all up here.’ I tapped the side of my head. ‘Photographic memory. So anything you say or do may be used as the source of an embarrassing story in the next fifteen years!’
Jane laughed and a warm feeling flooded my chest.
Hearing Jane laugh used to be one of my favourite things and even now, I couldn’t resist smiling at the sound.
‘I know it sounds lame, but books, even textbooks, are beautiful. I couldn’t stand the idea of people damaging them intentionally. Books must be protected at all costs!’
‘ Hear, hear! ’ I lifted my fist in the air in solidarity.
‘Anyway, what I was going to say was that my paperback is… annotated .’
‘Perfect.’ I smiled. ‘Then I can understand what sections and chapters have the juiciest parts and quote the popular ones in my pitch to Madame Desire.’
‘ D.D. Desire! ’ she corrected me with a smile.
‘That’s what I meant! Note to get the author’s name right before I contact her.’ I laughed again. ‘Do you have your copy here or is it at home?’
‘God, no! I could never leave that at home!’ Jane said before her gaze dropped to the floor.
‘Huh? What do you mean?’ Did her boyfriend not approve of her reading romance?
‘I… I live with my parents and they’re… well. If you remember about my biscuit preferences and bookmark obsession, I’m sure you’ll remember that my family aren’t exactly open-minded.’
I ground my jaw. I should be relieved that she wasn’t living with a boyfriend (not that it mattered if she was), but knowing she was still stuck with those bigots made me sad for her.
Normally I didn’t speak badly about other people’s relatives, but I made an exception for Jane’s family.
Her older brother, Wayne, was the biggest dickhead in school and from what I’d seen and heard of her mum and dad… just thinking about how they treated Jane made me want to put my fist through a wall.
‘Yeah.’ I ground my jaw. ‘I remember.’
‘Er, so, I have the book here.’ Jane spoke quickly, clearly wanting to change the subject. ‘It’s in my drawer in the office. I’ll bring it to you later.’
‘Thanks,’ I said.
Our eyes locked again.
I knew I was supposed to go to the bookshop now, but I didn’t want to leave. I really enjoyed being with Jane. She was so easy to talk to.
‘So,’ I broke the silence. ‘I should go…’
‘Okay. I’ll come and see you soon. To bring you the book. Not to look at you,’ she stuttered. ‘I mean, obviously I’ll need to look at you to give it to you, but, I… I better go and put these on the shelves.’
As she grabbed a pile of books, then rushed off towards the bookcase, I couldn’t even focus on why she’d got flustered because I was too busy taking in the prime view of her arse in that skirt.
Damn.
I was trying to keep my thoughts about Jane professional, but I was failing.
Big time.