24. Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Four
Addy
I stare at the text I still haven’t replied to and lock my phone screen. It’s been fifteen hours since Blaze sent it, and now it’s way too late to reply. Well, maybe it’s not, but I don’t know what to say. I’m still trying to process what happened between us in Hawaii. It’s only been a few days.
And now, I have to suffer through brunch with my mother—who still thinks Blaze and I are together.
Ugh.
“Over here!” Mom waves at me obnoxiously. “Addy!”
I smooth out my freshly done hair and brush the dog hair from my T-shirt. I know what I look like… And it’s written all over my mom’s face as soon as I sit down.
“Oh my. Are you not feeling well?”
I grab the wine glass full of water. “Not really. I have a headache.”
“Ah, that explains it,” she mutters, picking up her own glass and taking a sip. “Would you like some Tylenol? I have some in my purse.”
“No, that’s okay,” I say, my eyes drifting to the window. I take in the street just on the other side, busy with people laughing and talking.
I really need to talk to Blaze.
But I haven’t gotten up the nerve to tell him how I feel—and that I need some space to get over what happened…
“So, how’s Blaze?” Mom goes right in for the kill.
“Great,” I say.
“Why didn’t you bring him along?”
“He’s got practice,” I lie. “He would’ve loved to have been here, I’m sure.” I pick up the menu, getting lost in the words that all seem to blend together. This is the worst heartbreak I’ve ever gone through, and now, I wish I’d never asked Blaze to be my fake boyfriend. We could’ve kept our friendship going like always instead of being like this.
“Have you seen Aurora’s pictures with Robert on their honeymoon?” Mom pulls out her phone and slides it across the table.
I set the menu down with a huff and flip through their lovey-dovey stupid pictures. I barely take them in, though I do visibly cringe at the photo of them lip-locked. “Wow, looks like they’re having a great time.” My voice is flat, and I immediately go back to the menu. I know I’m not being pleasant.
And I have no reason for it. Because I’m the one who caused this to happen between Blaze and me. It’s on me. I know that, but for some reason, it doesn’t change the fact that he broke the rules first.
He did.
Not me.
I mean, yeah, I dared him to kiss me the next day. But I didn’t think he actually would . Well, I didn’t think he would and then totally freak out.
I shake my head to myself, sick of replaying it all over and over again. It’s all I’ve been able to do since it happened, and I’m so tired of the rut I’m stuck in.
We order our brunch. I opt for the French toast, just so I can eat my feelings fully.
“So, have you made any progress on hiring contractors for your dog-walking business?” Mom asks.
“Not yet,” I answer. “I don’t really want to think about that right now. I have enough on my plate.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know it’s a mistake.
“Like what?” she inquires. “Your headache?”
“What?” I shoot back at her. “What does my headache have to do with this?”
But before she can answer, our food is served. Mom falls into silence and begins to eat. I force myself to do the same, trying to ignore the way she eyes me every so often. I focus on my plate, and by the time I’m done, Mom is already paying the bill.
“Let’s go for a walk,” she says, pushing back from the table. “It’ll help us digest all these crazy carbs.”
Uh oh.
A sinking feeling hits my gut as I stand up to follow her. I know her too well—she’s on to me. I brush my hair out of my face and follow her out of the small café.
She links her arm in mine. “So, what happened when you and Blaze got back?”
But before I can answer, I catch sight of the one person I don’t want to see.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumble under my breath just as Blaze hops out of his Jeep. I should’ve known that he’d be going to the gym—which just so happens to be right next to the breakfast café.
“Blaze!” Mom calls out brightly.
He whips his head around and smiles so gorgeously. “Hey.” He jogs up to us, looking me over from head to toe. “Are you sick?”
“Addy said you were at practice?” Mom interjects before I can say anything about the fake headache I’m sporting.
“Uh…” His voice trails off. “Um…”
“You weren’t at practice.” Mom’s voice is painfully fake.
Blaze visibly swallows. “No, ma’am.”
“Uh-huh.” She squeezes my arm lightly and then turns to me, asking the one question I’m not ready for. “Are you guys having relationship issues?”
Only my mother would ask a question like that in front of both of us.
That’s just how she is.
And she’s waiting for an answer.
“I broke up with her,” Blaze blurts out, his tone painfully soft. “It just wasn’t working for me. We’re better off as friends.”
The lump in my throat prevents me from saying anything as my mom’s jaw drops. She makes a face that has me wanting to crawl inside a hole and stay there. “So … you led my daughter on?”
Blaze flinches. “Um, no, not exactly. I love her. I do. It’s just that…”
“It’s just that the whole thing was a freaking joke ,” I explode, glaring at Blaze. “And he needs to get to his workout sesh before his pre-workout high wears off.” I pull my mom right past him, and Blaze just stands there, stunned.
I shake my head, dragging my mom until she rips her arm away from me and lets out the loudest sigh I’ve ever heard. I glance past her, relieved that Blaze is already inside the gym.
“ What was that?! I’ve never seen you so…” She can’t even put the words together, glancing back toward the gym. “What’s going on here?”
“What’s going on is that I’m tired of pretending, Mom,” I snap, unable to hold back anymore. “Blaze and I were never really dating. We faked it. All of it.”
Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open before she grabs my hand and drags me off down the street toward a little grassy knoll. She doesn’t say a word until we’re sitting on a park bench—which is surprising given that she usually complains about bird poop being everywhere.
She finally breaks the silence. “Why on earth would you fake a relationship, Adeline?”
“Because I’m sick and tired of being judged by you and Granny and everyone else for still being single at almost thirty. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone for once,” I confess, my voice breaking as tears well up in my eyes. “It was easier to pretend than to deal with the constant questions and pitying looks.”
“Oh, honey.” Mom’s expression softens as my words sink in. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea you felt that way.”
“It just feels like nothing I do is ever good enough. Like I’m the disappointing daughter who can’t measure up to everyone’s expectations,” I say, the floodgates opening now. “I’m so tired of feeling like a failure.”
“You’re not a failure. Not in any way,” Mom says firmly, brushing the tears from my cheeks.
“ Really ?” I pout.
“Really.” She pulls me in for a tight hug. “Addy, you are strong and capable and more than enough just as you are. You don’t need to pretend or put on a show for anyone .”
“Thank you.” I pull back from the hug, wiping away the remaining tears with the back of my hand. “I’m really sorry for lying. Granny is just so—”
“Oh trust me, I know better than anyone how hard Granny can be,” Mom interjects with a knowing smile. “I grew up with her, remember?”
I nod, dabbing my eyes.
“And I’m realizing now that I’ve picked up some of her bad habits along the way.” A sheepish look crosses her face. “But I’ll do better. I promise.”
I sniffle. “I appreciate that.”
“I hope you know that your worth isn’t dependent on your relationship status or what others think of you.”
“Okay,” I whisper, feeling a sense of relief wash over me as I lean in to hug her once more. For so long, I’ve been carrying the burden of other people’s expectations, but in this moment, wrapped in my mother’s embrace, I feel a glimmer of hope that things could be different. That, perhaps, I can start to live for myself and not for the approval of others. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.” She leans back against the park bench, her own eyes glistening with unshed tears. “And I’ll support you in whatever path you choose from now on.” She smiles.
“Well, I’m gonna need all the support I can get, because I have no idea what to do about Blaze.” I take a deep breath and then tell her everything that’s transpired between Blaze and me. “I’m an idiot,” I add at the end. “I’ve ruined our friendship. And you saw how easy he plays it off; it’s like he’s not even phased by any of it!” I throw my hands in the air. “And here I am, venting to anyone who will listen. I’m pathetic.”
“Honey,” Mom says softly, placing her hand on my knee. “It’s okay to be upset, but have you told him how you feel about him?”
“Not yet.” I chew on my lip. “I need to. I told myself I would the next time I saw him or talked to him. I’m just not looking forward to the hurt when I tell him I need space to get over him.”
“Well,” Mom begins, straightening her skirt, “you know, your father and I started out as just friends. He was so oblivious to everything, I swear. It was like I had to bluntly say, ‘Hey, I’m in love with you,’ before he ever got it through his thick skull.”
I laugh. “I don’t think much has changed with Dad. He’s still pretty thick in the head.”
“Most definitely.” Mom giggles. “But I wouldn’t change a thing about him. Because that’s also part of the reason he’s determined to make it work no matter what—and that means something. I think Blaze has that same quality, and maybe he’s just being a little stubborn.”
“But what if he doesn’t feel the same?”
“Well, then you can kick him right in the shin for me. Because I’ll be very disappointed in him for acting like that. It’s not fair to you. He’d be leading you on, and I don’t appreciate that.”
“Yeah…” My voice trails off. “I don’t know how to be just friends anymore.”
Mom smiles softly. “You’ll just have to feel it out yourself, but for all the times that Blaze has told you he loves you over the last decade, I think there’s something more beneath the surface. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Addy. Even before the little love trick you two pulled.”
“The love trick ?” I can’t contain my laughter, though it comes out a little watery.
“Yes! Or whatever your romance novels call it when two people fake a relationship.” She rolls her eyes. “Anyway, that’s besides the point. The way Blaze looks at you is the same way your dad looked at me. If he’s too scared to accept his feelings, then that’s on him. And at that point, you’ll have to do whatever’s best for you.”
“If things don’t work out, I’ll probably just be forever alone.” I huff. “No one wants to put up with my antics.”
“Oh stop.” She swats me. “You’re amazing, Addy. You march to the beat of your own drum, and I’ve always loved that about you. The right person will see everything about you and cherish it all—even the weird, quirky parts.”
“True.” I breathe out a sigh of relief.
“Now, we need to get you ready for this chat with Blaze.”
I give her a wary look. “What do you mean? I don’t like the way this sounds…”
She laughs. “Well, I saw how he looked at you when you wore that little black dress in Hawaii. I think we can do better than that, though. We’re going to give you a full-blown makeover to make you feel like the showstopper you are. I’ll call Lexy, and we can get your hair done, and then we’ll get you something even more sexy to wear. He’ll be crazy if he turns you down.”
“Yeah … I’m not getting my hopes up.” I pick myself up off the bench, though part of me looks forward to making the kind of impression that lasts a lifetime. Because then, if he does end up turning me down, at least I’ll feel like I went out with a bang.
And I wouldn’t want to go out any other way.