36. Katie
KATIE
T he tears haven't stopped. Not since Kyle gave me a blanket, and told me to take his guest room. I'm not under any illusion Trace and I were some sort of love match, but I at least thought we were friends. This hurts more than I imagined it would, knowing I'm so easily thrown away.
I thought for sure he'd be here to get me. Maybe not beg for my forgiveness, but after all the talk of having to do this together, I assumed he'd come and try to talk to me. Disappointment settles deep in my stomach. Rolling over, I grab my phone, and start scrolling to try and distract myself.
The first thing I come to? A picture of the two of us from the Cattleman's Ball. For once I try to be objective in how I'm seeing the two of us. He's smiling down at me, and I'm looking up at him with complete adoration. If anyone were gazing at us from the outside, we give all appearances that we're in love with one another. For the first time, I have to wonder if there isn't some truth to it. We've all seen how people in high stress situations sometimes fall in love with one another quickly or tend to catch feelings when they wouldn't normally. Is this what's happened to me? Does he have some feelings for me that he isn't willing to admit to himself?
"Are you okay in here?" He asks.
"Yeah, is it morning already?" I'm surprised I've laid here this long.
"Yeah," he sighs. "I have to leave early to help with the feeding, but we like to get it done before the sun comes up since it's still so hot."
"I won't be coming to help y'all today."
He chuckles. "Didn't think you would, wasn't gonna ask, to tell you the truth. However, you do know at some point you're gonna have to talk to him."
"I know, but it won't be for at least a few days, maybe longer. I can do things around here to help you. Your laundry, cook for you, whatever. I stole one of the SUV's. I can go to town and get a job. I'll help you if you'll just let me stay here until I can get on my feet," I beg. I've never been in this kind of position before. It's unsettling and scary.
"You can stay here as long as you need to, just know Trace ain't gonna like it."
"I don't give a shit what Trace is gonna like. He should've thought about that before we got into an argument."
He looks as if he wants to say more, but keeps his words to himself. "I'm outta here. If you need something, text me. Give me your number so I can text you from mine."
Grateful that I won't be in this alone, I give him the number, verify I now have it in my phone and then give him a wave as he leaves. It's then that the weight of what I've done hits me full force. I've done something I'm never going to be able to take back. But so has he. Now that I'm alone, I feel it. My parents and family aren't going to be able to help me. They're going to want me to go back to him, because that's what our family needs. It's what they counted on to get out of the financial bind they're in.
Land is great, but it's only able to be used for collateral if you can find a way to monetize it.
Slowly, I get up and walk to the kitchen. Once there, I open the fridge, trying to figure out what I want to eat. I need to eat something if I want to make some sound decisions. He's got eggs and bacon. Glancing over at the counter, I spot a loaf of bread. That'll do for a meal, and then I have a lot of thinking to do.
Trace
“Do you want to know how she is?” Kyle asks.
"Look, she's the one who left. It wasn't me, I didn't want her to go. She's the one who flew off the handle, and she's an adult. She can handle herself." My tone is flippant, and apparently that pisses him off.
"No she can't. She might be an adult in age, but she's been sheltered, I think you're assuming more about her than is true, Trace. She came here as an offer for you."
"No," I interrupt him. "She came here as an offer for Ward. I just got to be the lucky one to marry her."
"Well aren't you? Lucky? You picked her up at the bar and then took her out to your truck. You obviously wanted something from her then, you chose her. Why is she not your choice now? Because in your mind someone is forcing her on you? Stop being a fucking little kid. Stop pushing her away because you feel like they're trying to force you to do something you don't want to do. When you're an adult you have to do things you don't want to do, and sometimes that means what's best for someone other than you. You're my best friend, but stop being such a little bitch -"
I cut him off with a fist to his face.
He goes down hard, and then levers himself up, shaking his head. "You haven't hit me since we were teenagers."
"You haven't deserved it since we were teenagers," I fire back at him. "This is between her and I. We'll figure this out together, and we don't need you in the middle of it."
"Then stop putting me in the middle of it," he wipes the back of his hand against his mouth, smearing the blood on his lips. "She's alone, at least you have friends and family here."
"You're my best friend, and you're gonna take her side?" I've never felt so betrayed.
"There are no sides, Trace. None of this is good. It's not good for you or her, or any of us who are collateral damage."
"Fuck you, work at the barn today, I'm heading out to check fences."
Striding over to my horse, I swing myself up into the stirrups. As I ride away, I can hear him.
"Typical Trace, just get pissed and run away. You wonder why they offered her to Ward; this is the reason why."
His words echo in my head as I head toward my favorite pasture and ride away from this fucking bullshit.