Chapter Six
Kytten
He laughed as his hand wrapped around it. He began to slowly stroke himself, and I bit my lip. I wasn’t joking. I had never seen anyone built like him. He was long; I would guess nine inches. And thick. I held up my hand, and my eyes danced between my fist and his as I visibly shuddered.
“What are you worried about? You already know it fits fucking perfectly.”
I swallowed loudly, and he laughed. His knee hit the bed, and I had to hold myself still. Cash was right. He had already fucked me on the mountain, bent over his bike. I wasn’t sure what I was afraid of, except that ignorance was bliss.
Feeling his size and seeing his size were two completely different beasts. And believe me, he was a fucking beast.
He grabbed my ankle and yanked me closer. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I stared as his dick bounced between us while he undid my jeans. Something inside me said I should have helped him, but I couldn’t move.
This wasn’t my first time. Hell, it wasn’t even my first time with Cash. But my head was screaming at me to be careful. That he would rip me in two.
Oh, but what a way to go!
I chuckled at the thought, and he smiled. “Something funny?”
“If you were only inside my head right now.”
His smile dropped as he leaned over me, and I fell back against the bed. “What’s inside your head right now?”
“You, Cash. You’re inside my head. You’ve been inside my head since the first day I saw you.”
He lowered his body over mine and rested on his elbows. Even with my jeans still on, I could feel how hard he was.
“What am I doing inside your head?”
“Saving me,” I whispered, before leaning up and kissing him. I felt his weight all at once, like a warm blanket settling over me. His lips grazed over me. Eliciting shivers throughout my body. I pulled him closer. I wanted him to consume me.
His tongue seared a path down my neck. I felt him lick the tattoo on my shoulder. More vines covered my body. The tattoos were cathartic. A way to feel my mom and brother with me everywhere I went.
Cash lifted my arm and kissed down to my elbow, then further to my wrist and back to my shoulder. He moved to the other side, doing the same with my right arm before moving to my chest.
He ignored my breasts and nipples, instead covering my collarbone with light pecks. If his goal was torture, he was succeeding. I wanted him to move faster. I knew what he was doing and where he was headed.
“Relax, Rosie.”
“I can’t.” The words came out on a shaky breath. He looked up at me and his eyes spoke volumes. They told me everything my ears heard the other day that my mind refused to believe.
“I love you, baby.”
I closed my eyes. It hurt to look at him. Seeing the love, the desire, the lust. It would all disappear if he learned the truth.
When he learns the truth.
He continued down my sternum. I wanted to push him away, but I knew it would be fruitless. He told me on the mountain he wanted to trace every tattoo with his tongue. I held still while he tormented me, knowing that the longer I put it off, the worse it would get.
I felt his tongue ring my belly button, then pull the barbell between his teeth, before letting it go, only to flick it with his tongue before moving on.
His hands grasped at my waistband, pulling at my jeans. I couldn’t look at him, but I felt his piercing stare as he removed the rest of my clothes.
He sat back on his feet, his hands on my ankles, and watched me. His eyes traveled over me everywhere but my thighs.
“Are you ready, Rosie?”
I shook my head. Closing my eyes tightly against the sight of his... pity? Anger? Shame? I didn’t know what he was thinking because I refused to ask.
The bed shifted. Cash spread my knees wide and settled between them. My chest rose with every fearful inhale, waiting for him to touch me. When I felt his chin resting on my pubic bone, I opened one eye and peered down at him.
My knees were over his shoulders; his hands rested on my belly. He watched me, waiting for my reaction while I anticipated his.
“Watch me, Rosie. Don’t take your eyes off me.”
I nodded tentatively. I didn’t know if I could obey, but I wanted to. He leaned up on his elbows, his eyes locking with mine until he turned to look at my thigh.
Shame overtook me. My eyes closed in tandem with my knees until I heard his sharp bark. “Kytten!”
My eyes snapped open; my anger at his use of my road name burned in me.
“Do not take your eyes off me again.” His voice was hard, stern. But the look in his eyes was soft. He was a contradiction that confused me.
He turned his head again to my thigh, and it took everything in me not to look away. He leaned over and kissed my leg. Running his tongue over one of the larger scars that wasn’t hidden quite as well.
He moved to another, then another. First, kissing each scar before tracing it with his tongue. When he was done, he moved to the other side, repeating each motion over every scar he found.
“These do not define your worth.”
But they did.
“These do not make you unlovable.”
But they did.
“These do not make you weak.”
But I was. I was weak. Tears filled my eyes and spilled over at his words. I wanted to believe them, but I wouldn’t let myself.
He kissed my mound before sliding his tongue over me. “You are so fucking perfect, Rosie,” he said, as if he could read my thoughts.
I let the tears fall.
“So goddamn beautiful.”
He kissed me again.
“So damn sexy.” He speared my entrance with his tongue, and I arched against his mouth. “So fucking sweet.” And then his words disappeared, and all that was left was to feel.
He took his time between my legs, worshiping me the way he told me he would. Loving me the way I longed for. The way no one else could.
“Come for me, Rosie. Let go of everything and feel. Feel it all.” He lapped at my clit, sucking it between his lips before letting go and fucking me with his tongue.
My breaths became pants as he raised me higher and higher toward the peak before pushing me over. My body stiffened and my hands pulled at his hair, but he didn’t stop. He continued through my climax until I melted into the mattress, spent.
As I lay there trying to control my breathing, Cash lapped at me, tasting my release. Licking away every drop, before finally crawling up my body and colliding his lips with mine. I could taste myself on his lips and when I moaned, his dick twitched against my leg.
I sucked his tongue into my mouth, wanting more of my flavor mixed with his. He didn’t let up; he didn’t pull back. He lifted his hips and pressed himself into me, never letting me go.
He took advantage of my sharp gasp at his intrusion to deepen the kiss. Forcing his tongue against me, pulling it back then pushing it in the way his cock entered my pussy.
He was relentless in his ministrations. Never giving me a moment to think or protest. Not that I wanted to. But where, before, I wanted him to go faster while he explored my body, inspecting every flaw, now I wanted him to slow down. I wanted to feel every stroke in slow motion.
I never wanted it to end. Never wanted his body to leave mine.
“Stay with me, Cash. Keep me,” I whispered without thought.
He didn’t miss a thrust when he replied, “Forever, baby.”
We came together. Neither of us shouted out our release. It was more of a slow overflow than a quick explosion. Like a wave traveling miles before crashing against the shore. Only to be pulled back to build again, over and over.
Cash pulled out of me, rolling over on his back, only to pull me against him. His hand grabbed my thigh, and I stiffened.
“I know it’ll take time, baby. But you’ll get used to my hands on you.” He pulled my leg over his and pushed my head to his chest.
It wasn’t simply his hands on me that made me jolt. It was his hands on my legs. My thighs more specifically. Every time he touched me it was a reminder of what was there. Of what I had done. And why I had done it.
“Cash?”
“What, baby?”
“Where’s my knife?”
His body turned to stone beneath mine, and the hand that rubbed circles on my back paused and flattened against me.
I leaned up and looked at him. “Please tell me you didn’t throw it out.”
“I didn’t.” He pushed my head back to his chest and continued rubbing my back.
“I need that knife, Cash.”
“No.”
“Cash—”
“Dammit, Rose.” He sat up and pushed his legs over the edge of the bed. His elbows rested on his knees as he stared at the floor. On my knees behind him, I pressed my body against his, my arms wrapping around his shoulders.
“Will you let me explain?”
His head turned to the side, and he peered at me from the corner of his eye. “Will it make me angry?”
I sat back on my feet. My fingertips trailed over his back, tracing the Silver Shadows’ brand that was tattooed there. “I don’t think so.”
He turned his body so that he could see all of me. His pupils flared at my nakedness, and I smiled at him. A real, genuine, lust-filled smile.
“Tell me.”
So I did. But not everything. I didn’t tell him about that last birthday when Val forgot me so she could go to Amber, or what happened after Syrena came home with the groceries. Instead, I told him about my first birthday with Val.
I told him about coming downstairs and finding the balloons and streamers everywhere. I told him about the cake Val had made. Mom never bought store cakes. She always made one.
And I told him about the knife Val gave me. The one that had been wrapped for Thorne. The one that was meant to be his. The one I used to feed the monsters.
It made me feel close to Thorne. Like somehow he was responsible for making them happy. He was still protecting me. Yes, it was a fucked-up thought, and Dr. Jefferson would probably have a field day if she knew.
Not that I would ever tell her.
“So, it’s Thorne’s knife?” he asked, and I nodded. “And you want to give it to him?”
“I do. I want him to know Val bought it for him. That even though we weren’t together, Val thought of him too.”
I scooted back as Cash climbed back into the bed with me.
He pulled me against his chest once more and grabbed my leg.
I tried not to react, but it was involuntary.
He didn’t sigh in frustration. In fact, the only way I knew he noticed was because he rubbed that big hand over my leg after pulling it against his.
I waited for him to say something, and when he did, it was my turn to sigh in frustration.
“Ok, baby. You can give it to Thorne. When you’re ready to tell him everything.”
I lay there, blinking against his chest. Trying to stem back the tears. I would never be ready for that.