Chapter Seven
Cash
“Cash, I need to talk to you.” I pulled my focus from Rose.
She sat in the corner of the couch surrounded by the old ladies and Maureen.
Maureen’s dog Tucker sat on the floor with his head on the couch, staring at her.
Tucker, like Aspen’s dog Diesel, could sense a person’s distress.
He knew Rose was anxious and wanted to comfort her.
But she kept herself closed off.
Every few minutes she would look over, pleading silently for me to rescue her. And every time I would shake my head no. I wasn’t entirely sure if it was the dog or the old ladies she was afraid of. Either way, this was a sort of immersion therapy.
She’d been doing well, though. Every day for the past week, she had been working with Mellie.
I still couldn’t leave her for long periods unless she was with Mimic.
It seemed as though he also kept the monsters at bay.
I was glad she had her brother back, but a small selfish part of me liked that it was me she needed.
“What is it, Mellie?”
“I need to refer Kytten to someone else.”
I spun around to glare at the girl I used to help with her homework.
The girl I followed when she snuck out of the house at night to go to the fucking library.
The girl I then spent hours with at the diner while she told me all about her life at school.
The girl who trusted me with her secrets.
The girl I thought I could trust with my woman.
“Why?”
“She won’t talk to me, Cash. She resents my relationship with Dani.”
“Fuck off, Mellie. No, she doesn’t.”
“She does, Cash. She told me so on the first day, but I tried to work through it. If she won’t open up to me, I can’t help her. I want her to talk to someone else.”
“Haizley?” I knew that would be a conflict of interest, but I was willing to stop meeting with Haizley if Rose needed her.
I had finally admitted to myself that talking to Haizley helped. Not just about Rachel, but my parents. My childhood. Even my birth parents, whom I knew nothing about. I didn’t want to give her up, but for Rose I would.
I would give up everything for her.
My thoughts turned to Rachel and the letter she left me.
Her request for me to love my old lady the way I couldn’t love her.
I could see now what Rachel meant. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her.
Because I fucking did. I just loved Rose differently.
Wholly. I wanted to give her everything I had. Holding nothing back.
Haizley helped me realize I held back a lot with Rachel. Sure, I talked about my parents. But I never told Rachel I was adopted. I never told her about going to therapy. I never told her my secrets.
“No. Kytten needs someone who specializes in children.” A sense of relief ran through me that I wouldn’t have to stop seeing Haizley just yet.
“She’s not a fucking child, Mellie.”
“No, she isn’t. But everything that happened to her. Whatever it was that caused her to start hurting herself happened when she was a child. Had it been caught then, her treatment would have been different. She needs that same treatment now, even though she is an adult.”
“Who do you recommend?”
“I know a doctor in New York. Someone who taught me everything I know. I wanted to clear it with you before I made the call.”
I looked back at Rose. She was watching me talk to Mellie.
Her brows furrowed somewhere between confusion and anger, and I realized Mellie was right.
Rose didn’t like her. And if there was one thing I had learned in therapy, it was that if you didn’t connect with your shrink, you wouldn’t tell them shit.
You needed to trust them. And Rose didn’t trust Mellie.
“Okay. Call her.”
“Him.” I spun back to Mellie, my glare more fierce.
“Absolutely fucking not. I want her talking to a woman.”
“Cash—”
“No, Mellie.” I shook my head.
“Do you trust me, Cash?” I could see the hurt in her eyes. The accusation that I didn’t see her as the adult she was.
I rubbed the back of my head.
“Dammit, Mellie, you know I fucking trust you. I wouldn’t have asked you to work with her if I didn’t.”
“Then trust me to do what is best for Kytten. She needs to talk to a man. I know you don’t understand it. I know you won’t like it. But it’s what she needs.”
“And I’m being a jealous, selfish prick again.”
Haizley happened to be walking by as I said the words. She shrieked and threw her arms around me.
“I knew you were listening!” Mellie’s eyes bulged out, and I laughed.
“Yeah, yeah, get off me, woman, before your old man sees you crawling all over me and beats the shit out of me.”
Haizley kissed my cheek, her arms still wrapped around my neck when Gunner walked in.
“WOMAN! Get your hands off my fucking brother before I beat your ass.” His voice boomed throughout the room, causing Tucker to jump up and growl. Gunner stomped forward, and Rose scurried off the couch. Her fear of the women and the dog disappeared as she stopped in front of Gunner.
All four-foot ten-inches of my woman squared up to the six-foot- eight-inch giant. With her hands on her hips and her head cranked back to look up at him as she scowled.
“Back off, Goliath. You lay one fucking hand on her and you won’t have to worry about David’s slingshot, ’cause I’ll cut off your fucking dick,” she growled.
Gunner looked at Rose, then looked at me.
I grinned at my brother. “Don’t piss her off, Gun. She held a knife to my dick the first day I met her. Never even saw her move. And she’s fucking closer to your shit than she was mine.”
Haizley moved in behind Kytten. With a light hand on her shoulder, she said, “Thank you, Kytten, but I like his fucking dick where it is. I also like it when he beats my ass.”
“Woman,” Gunner growled, only this time it was different.
“Gunner won’t hurt me, I promise. He’s all bark and no bite.”
“The fuck I am,” he bellowed, causing Tucker to growl. I hadn’t noticed he stood by Kytten’s side.
“Maureen!”
“Tucker,” she called, holding her pregnant belly as she laughed at the scene.
Tucker ignored her. It didn’t happen often. Only when he felt one of the women or kids was in danger.
Tucker was a great dog, and he tolerated us, but he loved the women and kids. The front door opened, allowing the sheriff to walk in.
“Jesus Christ. TUCKER!” he yelled. The dog immediately moved to his side. He sat at Declan’s feet, but his ears were still plastered to his head, letting us know he was alert and ready to move. “What the fuck is going on?”
When his eyes caught sight of Rose, they narrowed, and I got to my feet and moved to stand behind her. I liked Declan. He was a stand-up guy for a cop. But I didn’t like the way he was assessing my woman.
“Miss. Robinette. Causing trouble?”
“No, Sheriff. Just making sure someone keeps the peace.” Rose had folded her arms and was still glaring at Gunner.
“How do you know the sheriff, Rosie?”
Her head turned in my direction, and her guilty expression told me I wouldn’t like what she said.
“He pulled me over for speeding.”
I turned her around. “How fucking fast were you going? ’Cause Dec doesn’t pull many people over for speeding.”
“It was no big deal, Cash. I was upset, and I wasn’t paying attention.” She lowered her voice so only I could hear her, and said, “The monsters were screaming.”
“Do not use them as a fucking excuse. How fast?”
“I’m not telling you.” She folded her arms again, and her defiance caused my dick to twitch against my zipper. He liked her fucking attitude a little too much.
“Ninety-seven,” the sheriff called out.
Rose closed her eyes, and her hands dropped to her sides. She knew she was in fucking trouble.
“Ninety-fucking-seven? Do you have any fucking idea how easily you could have lost control of your bike?”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking child!” She socked me in the gut and walked off down the hallway. I turned to follow, and Mellie stopped me.
“Give her a few minutes. Let her feel. Let her stew. She needs this. Is there anything in your room?”
I looked at Mellie, her words not registering at first. “What?”
“Any knives? Anything sharp?”
“No, there’s nothing.” I had removed everything the first night after Rose fell asleep.
“Then give her a minute and then check on her. I’m going to call my friend.”
I waited for two minutes. That was all I could give her. I understood what Mellie was saying—Rose needed me to trust her. I got that. But it had only been a week.
I jogged up the two flights of stairs to my room and swung the door open. Scanning the empty room, I turned to the bathroom door that was wide open.
She wasn’t here. She knew I would follow her. Where the fuck did she go? I checked the closet just to be sure and then left the room.
It was a fool’s errand, but I checked every fucking door on every floor. She was here somewhere, and I’d be damned if I let her hurt herself because I was being an asshole.
When I made it back to the main room, I scanned it twice. Still no Rose. Mimic was sitting on the couch reading to Charlie, Chrissy, and Tabby. That meant Ellie was here. But where?
“She’s outside with Ellie.”
I turned to find Ryder standing behind me. I closed my eyes and let out a long exhale.
“Beck told Ellie about what happened the other night. Makes sense now why she kept going to the bathroom.”
“I need the old ladies not to fucking gossip about her.”
“They aren’t. They’re worried. Ellie especially. She had a friend back home. Someone who was hurting herself. Not in the same way, but doing it, nonetheless. Ellie lost that friend. She doesn’t want to lose another. She really likes Kytten.”
“She won’t lose her.”
I turned to leave, and Ryder caught my arm. “You can’t fix her any more than you could fix Rachel. She has to want the help.”
I didn’t respond. Ryder was right. Rose didn’t want the monsters. That was why she clung to me. She said I made them quiet. Quiet was good, but it meant they were still fucking there.
I walked outside, searching for my woman. I had to apologize and beg her to forgive me. But she also had to understand that there would never be a day that I didn’t worry about her. A day that I wouldn’t fear losing her.
I never thought about losing Rachel. I worried she would lose me. That my life, my position in the club, put a target on my back. One the officers faced that the patched brothers didn’t.
I found them out back. Rose paced back and forth, her hands waving in the air while Ellie sat in a chair, listening to whatever Rose was saying.
I watched her for a few minutes. Her hands never went to her legs.
She didn’t scratch; hell, she didn’t even touch them.
It had only been a week, and I knew she was far from cured, if she could even be cured.
But Mellie underestimated the effect she had on her.
Without knowing it, Mellie had helped her.
At least a little.
I caught Ellie’s eye, and I gave her a chin lift. She read my mind and shook her head. Letting me know she had my woman. She would be protected.