Chapter 45
45
MAX
‘You look like shit.’ Colton opened the door to his house.
‘Nice to see you too!’ I replied, wheeling my suitcase into the hallway, slipping off my shoes then walking through to the kitchen where Natalie and Betty were sitting at the table.
Colton was right though. I did look like shit, because last night I didn’t sleep well.
Normally when I’d been travelling, even if I’d stayed at a fancy hotel, I was always happy to get home and sleep in my own bed. But last night, everything felt different.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in.
And everything felt so empty: the house and especially the bed.
I didn’t smell Stella’s gorgeous scent on my pillow or feel her tangling her legs in mine under the covers.
I’d lived in my house for years and had never had a problem with staying there alone. But last night I felt… lonely.
It just wasn’t the same without her.
My mind racing all night can’t have helped my insomnia either. I must’ve spent hours trying to think of how to make it work.
I thought about asking Stella if she wanted to visit me somewhere whilst I was travelling. If we met up halfway through my trip, maybe the long-distance thing wouldn’t be so bad.
But then I’d dismissed it. She’d just got back from a two-week holiday. Even though she worked for her mum, I was sure she couldn’t take more time off work.
And I’d still be asking her to put her life on hold for me. A woman like Stella could have any guy she wanted. It wasn’t fair to ask her to stop looking for a proper relationship with someone else, just in case I changed my mind about wanting one.
So I’d just have to cross my fingers and hope that when I got back she was still interested. Given how we’d left things at the airport though, I didn’t rate my chances.
‘Uncle Maxey!’ Betty jumped off her seat. She ran over and threw her arms around my legs. Betty had her hair in two cute pigtails and was wearing the pink T-shirt I bought her on my last trip.
‘Hey, you!’ I quickly scooped her up, spinning her around the way I knew she liked.
‘Did you like your holiday?’ she asked as I placed her back on the ground. ‘And did you stay until the end like you promised?’
‘I did!’
‘Yay!’ she said enthusiastically. ‘Did you bring me something?’
‘Yep!’ I went to the hallway, picked up a gift bag then went back to hand it to her.
‘Sweeties and colouring pencils!’ Betty beamed. ‘Thank you!’ She hugged my legs again .
‘You’re welcome. I know you like colouring. There’s a notepad too.’
Stella had helped me pick the gifts when we visited Córdoba.
Stella.
Would it ever be possible for me to go five minutes without thinking about her?
‘Why don’t you help me in the garden.’ Natalie gave me a knowing smile. ‘Daddy and Uncle Max have some business to discuss.’
‘On a Sunday?’ Betty frowned. ‘I thought business was what Daddy did at work. He doesn’t work at the weekend.’
‘This is a different type of business.’ Natalie ushered Betty outside.
Once they’d shut the patio door, Colton pulled out a chair and sat directly in front of me.
‘Spill,’ he said.
I didn’t even waste time trying to protest. Resistance was pointless. So I did what he’d asked and told him everything.
‘And that’s it. The end.’
‘What d’you mean that’s it ? So you’re just gonna give up?’ Colton shook his head. ‘I expected better from you, man. Especially after how you fucked up last time.’
‘That’s why I thought it was better to stop things now before I hurt her. Last time I didn’t explain myself properly. This time I did. I’ve learnt from my mistakes.’
‘You haven’t learnt shit. If you had, you wouldn’t let her slip through your fingers a second time.’
‘So what was I supposed to do? Ask her to put her life on hold for me just in case I’m ready when I get back?’
‘Newsflash: you can’t always wait until you feel ready to do things. Otherwise you’d never do anything. Sometimes you just have to take the leap and hope that the parachute opens. Remember when Natalie first told me she was pregnant?’
‘Yeah. You were shitting yourself.’
‘Exactly. I didn’t know anything about being a father. I hadn’t had the best role model. I didn’t feel ready. But I had to make myself ready. Even now sometimes I feel like I don’t have a damn clue what I’m doing. There are days that I feel like the worst father in the world, but I keep going. Putting one foot in front of the other. All I can do is my best and pray that’s enough. The same goes for relationships. They’re scary. You’ll make mistakes. But as long as you try your best and communicate, with the right person, you’ll make it through and the highs will outweigh the lows.’
‘That’s deep.’
‘It’s the truth. Don’t give up. You already have enough regrets. Don’t add something that’s easy to solve to that list.’
Maybe there was something in what he said, but I didn’t agree that it’d be easy to solve.
‘Let’s just say I wanted to try, I still don’t see how to make it work right now. Not until I’ve got these meetings overseas out of the way. I’m gonna be away for two months. It wouldn’t be fair to ask her to wait for me.’
‘So ask her to come with you.’
‘I thought about it,’ I rubbed the back of my neck, ‘but she has to work. I couldn’t expect her to drop everything for me.’
‘I’d put money on the fact that Stella is just as miserable as you. And as for her job, didn’t you say she wanted to do freelance design work? Those sketches you sent over were good. Much better than the other design agency.’
‘We should hire her.’ I paused. I didn’t want Stella to think I was only asking her because I felt bad though .
‘I agree. And if we did, she could work on the designs from anywhere in the world, right?’
‘Right.’
I nodded, the jumble of thoughts I’d had in my head finally starting to unravel and slide together like a completed jigsaw puzzle.
‘I’m gonna ask her. To do our rebranding. And to come with me. I’ll work out the details this week whilst I’m in Dubai, then speak to her when I get back.’
‘You sure you wanna wait ’til then?’
‘Have you seen the time?’ I pointed at my watch. ‘I have to be at the airport in an hour and a half.’
‘True,’ Colton nodded. ‘She’s in South London, right?’
‘Yep. So getting there now from here would probably take that long.’ Like me, Colton lived in North London. ‘And after all my screw-ups, I need to do things properly. I have to make sure it’s an offer she can’t refuse.’
‘Finally the man starts talking sense!’ Colton grinned.
Asking Stella to come with me was a big deal and there was chance that she’d slam the door in my face.
But if I did it right, she might just hear me out.
I needed to pull out all the stops. Show Stella how much she meant to me. I needed a grand gesture. Something that’d get her attention.
A light bulb went off in my head. And just like that, I knew what I planned to do.
It wouldn’t be easy though.
Here’s hoping I could make it work…