Chapter Thirty
Matt
I’d admit, it was creepy the way I was watching her right now.
But as she laid there, tied up in the sheets, serenely napping, gorgeous was an understatement.
Even if I wanted to sleep, I couldn’t. It was impossible with the way my mind was looping through the recent events, trying to comprehend everything that just happened. I’d gotten everything that I had ever wanted.
To kiss her. Touch her. Cross the line of friendship with her. Have her be mine for a moment, even if it didn’t last outside of these walls. Most of all, I got to hear her say what she did.
It took me awhile to convince myself I wasn’t hallucinating; it was that surreal.
I was afraid that this was a one-off, that El would regret what happened and we’d go back to how things were.
Except for me. I couldn’t possibly ever go back to normal after this.
She said she loved me. Not only that, but that she was in love with me. The words were dangerously sweet, almost palpable as they left her. And they were still on my mind. That moment would be engrained in my memory for the rest of my life, a high that couldn’t be replicated.
El was curled up in a ball, looking as fragile and innocent as ever. I wanted to scoop her up and hold her to me, but I didn’t want to disturb her.
Instead, I scrolled the morning away on my phone. Whenever I got tired of that, I would just watch her for a few minutes until I felt like a freak, then I’d go back to my phone. The cycle kept repeating.
It was pushing eleven a.m. and if I had to guess, El hadn’t slept in this late in years.
I didn’t want to wake her. She’d worked herself beyond any person’s normal limits this semester, and she deserved a break.
Her mind and body definitely needed it. Plus, with the semester officially being over, we had no responsibilities today other than packing to head home tomorrow.
I wanted to spend the entire day right here with her.
When she made a move last night, I assumed it was the alcohol. It had taken every ounce of my self-control to turn her down, and her sad reaction had me hating myself.
Glancing at the space on the wall I’d occupied when I jumped away from her, I couldn’t believe I had rejected the girl of my dreams.
But I had to.
If anything was going to ever happen between us, we were both going to be sober for it and that was that.
Caramel hair tied in a messy bun, I carefully guided a strand out of her face that had fallen right next to those cherished lips, and a sense of honor hit me that I had been the first person to taste them all those years ago. And now, the last. I was determined to keep it that way.
A muffled knock tapped along the door. I didn’t want to wake El up by shouting, so I sat up, intending to go open it instead.
But TJ decided to open it himself, halting in the doorway. Considering I hadn’t been expecting any of the events that occurred this morning, I hadn’t bothered locking the door. I was regretting it now.
“What?” I yelled in a whisper.
“Jett asked if you guys wanted breakfast.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Tell him thanks.”
TJ’s eyes dropped, skimming along the floor to find our abandoned clothes before landing on El’s bare shoulders. Luckily for him, the rest of her was hidden underneath the comforter or else I would’ve leapt off the bed and tackled him.
He beamed, a wicked grin taking over his face.
I pointed a stern finger at him. “Don’t say a word.”
With a single nod, he said, “You got it.” The second the door shut, I could hear his heavy steps fly down the hallway. “Matt and El fucked!”
I shook my head. This kid couldn’t keep a secret to save his life.
I’d beat his ass later. Right now, I had more important things to do.
Sliding closer to El, I laid back down, draping an arm over her mid-section carefully, afraid of breaking her.
El sleepily sighed, scooting closer to me. The gesture caused a swarm of butterflies to ignite in my stomach.
She was the only woman in the world with the ability to illicit such a tender physical response from me.
I held her to me, admiring the masterpiece in my arms.
Fuck, I could die right now a happy man.