22. Tyler
TWENTY-TWO
TYLER
It’s late on a Sunday afternoon when Kylie tells me McKenzie is on her way back.
I wanted to reach out to her again after we left her parents’ house, but I thought it’d be best to give her space to grieve.
It killed me to see her so upset. All I wanted to do was hold her and make her pain go away. She was missed at the game this weekend, too. Her presence on the sidelines has become something most of the team, including myself, looks forward to. I didn’t want to be the one to break the news to them, but when Hayes asked me where she was, I had to tell him. In the locker room, I heard a few of them talking about getting her flowers, which made me proud of them. I know they’re not my own kids, but sometimes it feels like they are. My coaches made me the man I am today, and I hope that I have at least an ounce of the same influence on my own players.
“Do you think she’ll be here before dinner? Should we make her something to eat?” I ask. If Kylie thinks this is a weird question, she doesn’t say anything. I’m nervous about seeing McKenzie again, which is stupid. I’m a grown-ass man. I shouldn’t be getting butterflies in my stomach over a woman. And yet, here I am, asking my daughter if I should make dinner for her best friend because I can’t stop thinking about her.
“Might be nice,” Kylie shrugs. “I doubt she’ll stop anywhere and eat.”
I’m excited for McKenzie to be in the house again. Even though we were basically ignoring each other before, I still knew she was here and it made me feel at ease knowing she was safe.
“Burgers good?” I ask.
“Sounds great.”
I get to work in the kitchen to keep my mind busy.
When the burgers are almost finished, the doorbell rings, and Kylie jumps to get it. I’ve considered getting McKenzie her own key for the house, but that might be too over the line. I don’t know how I would explain that if someone from the university ever found out.
Kylie ushers McKenzie inside. McKenzie looks tired, but her eyes are less swollen than they were the other day.
“Welcome back.” It feels like a lame thing to say, but I can’t think of anything else.
“Thanks,” she says, giving me a small smile.
“I, uh, made burgers if you’re hungry. If not, all good.” Yeah, that sounded super casual.
“I’m pretty hungry, actually. Thank you.”
We all take our seats at the table as I set out the burgers. I also made sweet potato fries and regular fries because I know my daughter won’t touch a sweet potato with a ten-foot pole.
Dinner is quiet at first, I think because Kylie and I aren’t sure what to say. McKenzie finally blurts out, “Please say something. We can talk like normal. I’m sad, but I’m not broken. If we’re talking, then I’m not thinking, you know?”
That was all Kylie needed to launch into conversation. They talk about McKenzie’s mom and the small town she grew up in. Kylie has always lived in big cities with people all around her. Even here in Nebraska, there are tons of people since we live in a college town. But McKenzie’s town was adorable. Picturesque. Kylie was certainly entranced by the charm.
After dinner is cleaned up, I turn to see the girls sitting on the couch and get an idea. “Hey, how about we play a game?”
Kylie rolls her eyes at me like I’m the most embarrassing dad in the world. Hell, maybe I am. I know McKenzie likes playing games, though, and my hunch is confirmed when she smiles and nods her head. “That might be fun.”
Kylie concedes. “Ugh. Fine. One game. You guys are such nerds.”
“Come on, McKenzie. I’ll let you pick.”
She stands and follows me around the corner to the hallway closet. When I open the door, I hear her gasp. I have a ton of games. Some of them are originals from when I was a kid. My mom still sends me a new board game every year for my birthday, so I’ve got quite the collection at this point. I don’t have anyone to play them with me, so most of them are still wrapped in the plastic they came in.
“This is. . .” she trails off as she looks around the closet.
“Lame?” I suggest.
“No. Not at all. It’s awesome. I’m jealous, honestly. Reminds me of the game closet we have at my house. Although definitely not this extensive. Are you like a collector?”
“No. Just a closet nerd.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Thank you. Wouldn’t want to ruin my reputation.”
She smiles, and my shoulders relax. I didn’t realize how badly I wanted her to like this. I know Kylie thinks I’m lame and embarrassing most of the time, but I’m fairly certain that comes with the territory of being her dad. I certainly don’t want McKenzie to think of me like that.
I put my hand on the small of her back and guide her into the walk-in closet. “Pick one.”
Her eyes are wide as she turns, trying to look at all of them. “I can’t believe you were hiding all of these from me.”
I chuckle. “I didn’t want you to see my nerdy side. Kylie hates it. Apparently, I’m ‘such a dork.’”
She looks up at me with the big green eyes that I’ve missed so much. “I’m not Kylie, Tyler.”
Swallowing hard, I reach out and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know.”
Then my thumb slides down her cheek to her lips. Her warm breath tickles my skin. What is it about this woman that I can’t let go of? Why do I want her so badly?
We’re in dangerous territory, but she’s not stopping me. I tilt her chin up toward me, and her eyelids flutter closed. I’ve been thinking about kissing her again since the moment my lips left hers that first time all those weeks ago.
I lean down, and my lips barely graze hers when Kylie shouts, “Come on, slowpokes!”
I jerk away and drop my hand.
Fuck. I’m an idiot.
McKenzie turns away from me and quickly grabs the game of Life. “My brothers and I used to play this all the time.”
I smile and take the box from her. I guess we’re going to ignore what just happened. It’s probably for the best anyway. “It’s a classic.”
We walk back into the living room to see my daughter waiting impatiently for us. “Did you get lost in Dad’s closet of nerdiness?”
McKenzie chuckles. “I thought it was cool. I haven’t seen some of those games in years.”
“Oh, God,” she rolls her eyes. “Y’all are going to gang up on me with game night, aren’t you?”
McKenzie and I get the board set up. We keep bumping our hands to get all the little houses set up. Every time our skin touches, my body temperature heats and spikes.
Is she thinking about our almost kiss?
It’s like I’m in high school all over again, except this time, I’m the one sending the mixed signals. I wouldn’t be surprised if McKenzie got fed up and left for good. I told her to leave, forced her back, and then almost kissed her again after I told her we couldn’t? What the fuck am I even doing?
We set up our minivans and start the game.
Despite not liking board games, Kylie laughs throughout the game, and McKenzie even smiles a genuine smile, one I was worried might not come back. It’s obvious how close her family is. Losing her father is a huge blow to them, and I can’t imagine the pain she’s in. I know she needs time to heal, but I’m glad we can give her a bit of a reprieve tonight.
“Ok, fine. That was actually fun,” Kylie admits at the end. “Although I’m still mad I went to college with all those student loans and had to live in a double-wide.”
McKenzie laughs. “Hey, I bet you made that the best-looking double wide anyone has ever seen.”
“That’s right!” The two of them laugh while I pick up the game. I’m glad we could have an easy night at home, just the three of us.
With Thanksgiving break coming up, everyone is trying to make it the last few weeks without completely burning out. I know Kylie has been stressing about an exam, and I’m sure McKenzie has a ton on her plate as well since she’s been gone for a week.
Kylie turns on some made-for-TV movie, and we all settle in to watch. The girls sit on the couch while I take the recliner nearby. The distance between me and McKenzie doesn’t stop me from replaying the feeling of her lips brushing against mine.
After a while, Kylie announces that she’s heading to bed. When she’s gone, McKenzie looks over at me. “I should probably go to bed, too.”
I know I should say something. Apologize for what almost happened in the closet, but the truth is. . . I’m not sorry even though I know I should be. That’s what’s so messed up about this whole thing. I know it’s wrong to want her; everything about us is wrong. But I can’t stop it. I can’t stop the way my heart flutters every time she’s around. And I can’t stop thinking about how her lips felt and how she ran her fingers through my hair. I can’t stop wanting her.
“Yeah,” I finally say. “About earlier—”
She cuts me off. “It’s fine.”
She stands up and folds the blanket she was using. I stand as well, but instead of walking away like I should, I pull her in for a hug.
“Are you alright?” I whisper into her hair. I know she’s trying to be strong, but I want her to know she doesn’t have to be around us. Around me.
“No,” she admits. I feel her take a deep breath. “Will you do something for me, Tyler?”
I’m Tyler again. Not Coach.
“Anything,” I say like a lovesick fool.
“Will you hold me for a while? Until I fall asleep?”
“Of course.” I agree without even thinking because, at this point, I think I would do just about anything for her. I lead her up to the guest room that she’s claimed across the hall from my daughter. I know this is crossing a line, but I can’t stand the pain in her eyes. If holding her will help her get some sleep, then that’s what I’ll do.
She shuts the door behind us.
“Do you want to turn around while I change?” she asks.
No. I sure as fuck don’t. But I nod and face the opposite corner.
She grabs her clothes out of her bag, and a minute later, I hear her pull the sheets back and climb into bed. “Ok.”
I turn around to see her cuddled in bed.
Yeah, this is fine. I can just hold her for a little while, and once she’s asleep, I’ll go to my room. It’ll be fine.
I decide it’s safer to stay above the covers, but I still get behind her, big spoon style. I’m going to pretend that I didn’t see that she’s only in a T-shirt and underwear. I wrap my arm around her middle and pull her against me.
“Is this alright?” I ask.
“Perfect.”
I lay my head down next to her, taking in the smell of her hair. The way she feels in my arms. She’s perfect, and I will my dick to calm the fuck down. She needs to be held right now, not feel my hard-on pressing into her.
I hold her until we both eventually fall asleep. I don’t mean to, but I’m kind of glad I did. It’s the best night of sleep I think I’ve ever had.
When I wake, McKenzie has turned herself around so that her head is on my chest and our legs are entwined. I somehow managed to make it under the covers. I quickly look at my watch and see it’s a little after five in the morning. Plenty of time for me to sneak out without Kylie noticing.
I gently roll out of her hold, cover her back up, and kiss her forehead.
I know I should’ve never gone into her room with her. But that doesn’t stop me from climbing back into bed with her the next night and the night after that.