23. McKenzie
TWENTY-THREE
MCKENZIE
Tyler has held me while I fell asleep every night for the past week.
He always sneaks out in the morning, leaving me to wake up alone. I wish he didn’t, but I understand why he has to.
I’m grateful he’s willing to help me. I’ve been sleeping so well since he started wrapping me in his arms at night. I don’t even have to ask him to do it anymore. Every night when we’re ready for bed, he follows me into my room and locks the door behind him. It’s become our new thing.
It’s one of the only things I have to look forward to when everything else around me feels like it’s crumbling.
When I feel him stir on Saturday morning, I pull him closer to me instead of letting him sneak out. Today is the first day I’ll be back on the football field for game day, and I’m excited to get out there. I’m hoping it’ll make me feel a little closer to my dad.
Tyler’s eyelashes flutter open.
“Good morning,” I say groggily.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispers. His hands find their way to my ass to pull me even closer to him. I gasp. There’s no missing his erection. I’ve felt it a few other mornings, but he usually tries to hide it. Not today, though. I wonder what’s gotten into him.
His forehead presses against mine. I know he wants me as much as I want him, but he’s trying to stay away while I’m patiently waiting for him to break. That feels like a terrible thing to think, but I want him so badly.
“McKenzie.” He says my name like it pains him.
“Yes?”
His eyes search mine. Just when I think he’s going to say something about how we shouldn’t be doing this, how he’s not going to stay with me anymore, he surprises me and presses his lips to mine. He’s hesitant at first, maybe to judge my reaction. But when I wrap my arms around his neck, he lets himself go.
He rolls over and situates himself between my legs, his erection pressing against my center. He kisses me deeper, morning breath be damned. His hands are in my messy hair, and his tongue twirls with mine. His hips move against me, applying pressure and friction right where I need it.
For a moment, I think this is it. This is when he gives himself to me fully and we stop trying to pretend there isn’t anything between us.
But the moment is shattered when his phone vibrates on the bedside table. He freezes and pulls away. When I look up into his eyes, I don’t see the devastating regret that I did the last time he kissed me, and my heart is grateful for that.
He lowers his forehead to mine. “I have to go.”
“Ok,” I whisper, even though I don’t want him to. I wish we could stay wrapped up in this bed all day.
“I don’t want to,” he says, his voice rough. My body relaxes with relief.
“I don’t want you to.”
His hands gently trail up my body from my hips to my stomach and, finally, the underside of my breast. My breath hitches as his calloused fingers explore my skin.
His thumb runs over my hardened nipple.
“Tyler,” I moan.
His phone vibrates again. Probably one of his players or coaches since the game starts right after noon.
“Fuck, I hate this. I want you so bad it hurts,” he admits as he leans down to kiss my neck one last time. “But I really have to go.”
I lean up slightly and kiss him quickly. “Go. I’ll see you at the field.”
He groans and rolls off me. I miss the heat of him already and there’s an ache between my legs. One I know I’m going to have to take care of myself before I get out of this bed.
Tyler stands, and it’s hard to miss the large tent in his pants. He adjusts himself to make it slightly not as obvious.
“See you in a bit,” he says and then sneaks out of my room and down the hall, leaving me to replay everything that just happened in my mind.
The energy is wild when I get to the La Vista University Stadium. There are only a few more games left in the regular season, but the Bobcats are well on their way to the National Championship. The whole state is proud of this team and ready to see them go all the way. My brothers have been texting me all week, asking me if I know what Coach has planned for the game. Like I’d tell them even if I did know.
I go to the field house first to check in with the coaches like I always do. Coach Zach and Coach Travis are coming out of the locker room when I arrive.
“Coach!” I shout, and they both turn around.
“McKenzie,” Zach says. “Good to see you again. Sorry to hear about your father.”
“Thank you.” I’m still not ready to talk about my dad yet, so I quickly change the subject. “Good luck today.”
“Thanks,” Travis says. “We’re gonna kill it out there.”
I laugh. “No doubt about it. Have you seen Coach Danvers?”
“He was headed to his office last time I saw him.”
“Cool, thanks.”
I head off toward Tyler’s office.
He’s reading something on his desk when I find him. I knock gently on his open door. He looks up, and his face relaxes when he sees me. None of the normal tension that I get from him is present, so I take that as moving one step closer.
“McKenzie.”
“Hey, just wanted to come say good luck. Not that you need it.”
“I’ll take all the luck I can get.”
He walks toward me and looks over my shoulder into the hallway, checking to make sure it’s empty. My pulse races as he angles my chin up and kisses me. It’s quick, but it means everything to me. It means he doesn’t regret what happened between us this morning. It means he might stop pushing me away and just let this happen. It fills me with hope. Hoping for anything with Tyler Danvers is dangerous, but I let myself do it anyway.
“I’ll see you on the field,” he says as he traces my lips with his thumb.
“See you there.”
He leaves first, and I take a minute to collect myself before I follow at a respectable distance.
When I see him again, he’s by the field with his game face on. I love seeing him in his element. I’ve taken way too many pictures of him like this, but I can’t help but take a few more. These aren’t for my class. These are just for me.
The game is uncomfortably close up until the last quarter. Everyone was on edge and frustrated. I hate it for the team, but it’s incredible to watch them give it their all and come out with a win on the other end. It makes the celebration that much more exciting.
I run into Hayes and Ryan back in the field house before they go into the locker room. Hayes grabs me and pulls me into a sweaty hug.
“McKenzie. Glad you’re back.”
“Thanks. And thank you for the flowers you sent. They were truly beautiful,” I tell them. A few guys on the team had gotten together and sent an arrangement to my mom’s house. It was unexpected and, of course, made me cry all over again when I realized who it was from. My brothers were pretty excited about it, though.
Ryan waves me off. “Ah, it was nothing. Although it was interesting to have a group of football players pick out a flower arrangement.”
Hayes laughs. “We couldn’t agree on the flower type. That’s why it ended up having like ten different kinds of flowers. The florist was not impressed with us.”
It warms my heart that they went out of their way for me and my family when they hardly know me. It makes me feel like I’m part of the team.
“Well, they were beautiful. You guys did a great job. If football doesn’t work out, you should definitely look into floral design.”
“That was my backup, actually. Football or flowers,” Hayes jokes. “Hey, we’re going to Murdocks tonight to celebrate. You should come. Bring Kylie.”
Murdocks is a bar close to campus. It’s a popular hangout spot, particularly for the sports teams at La Vista. I’ve been a few times, but the crowds aren’t really my thing. Maybe I’ll make an exception for tonight. It’d be fun to hang out with everyone and take my mind off the last few weeks. And I know Kylie would want to go.
“Yeah, sounds fun.”
“Sweet. I’ll text you the deets.”
They head into the locker room to get cleaned up for the press conference they have to attend shortly.
I walk down the hall to leave when I hear my name. I turn and, before I can confirm who said it, am pulled into a supply closet.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
“I’m headed toward the press conference, but I wanted to say goodbye,” Tyler tells me with a sly smile on his lips. We’re sneaking around in a supply closet at school. This is dangerous. But I love it.
He kisses me like he can’t get enough of me. His tongue slides across mine. My teeth nip at his bottom lip. It’s messy, but it’s so, so good.
“I’ve got to stop,” he pants as he pulls away from me. “Fuck, I don’t want to, but I can’t go out there looking like I just made out in a supply closet.”
I smile, thinking about how one day I would love for everyone to know that I’m the one who puts this smile on his face and makes his lips swollen from kisses.
“I know.”
“I could kiss you all night.”
I rub my nose against his. “Please do.”
He kisses me again quickly.
“Oh, some of the guys asked me and Kylie to go to Murdocks tonight. Are you cool with that?”
He groans. “I guess I have to be.”
I know he worries about her, and I like to think he worries about me. But he knows that we’re in college and need to have these experiences even though he’d rather keep us at home where he can see us.
“We’ll be careful and won’t be out too late.”
“Do I need to remind Hayes to keep his hands to himself?”
I raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you jealous of your star player, Coach?”
“I hate that I know he’s the better choice for you. I hate that he can touch you in public and not be scrutinized. I hate that any of them thinks they deserve a chance with you.”
I understand why he might think Hayes is the better choice. From an outsider's perspective, he would be. We’re the same age, have similar interests, and he’s attractive and has big goals. But there’s nothing there for me. I never think about Hayes when he’s not around, and I have no desire to kiss him or go to bed with him. There’s no one on the team I think about like that.
Except Tyler.
I can’t get him out of my head even when I know I should.
“Too bad he’s not the one I want,” I whisper to Tyler.
He swallows. “I want you too, McKenzie. And one day, you’ll be mine.”
My heart beats a little faster. I hope ‘one day’ happens sooner rather than later.
“Will you call me tonight if you need a ride?” he asks.
“Yes. Will you come to my bed when I get home?” I counter.
He looks into my eyes, and I hold my breath, feeling like he’s about to reject me. “I shouldn’t.”
“But will you?”
“Yes.”
I nod. Our nighttime ritual started because I didn’t want to be alone. I thought maybe Tyler could help me fall asleep. And now, I can’t imagine falling asleep without him next to me.
“You should go.”
He nods and then quickly escapes from our hiding spot. I wait a few more moments before making my own exit. Luckily, the halls are empty. I quickly leave and make my way back to the Danvers’ house.
Kylie practically jumps on the invitation to go out with the football team. For someone who doesn’t like football, she sure enjoys hanging out with the players. I’m pretty sure Tyler would bench any of his players if they made a move on his daughter, though.
We end up having a great time, although I would much rather be spending time with Tyler. I know it’s lame, but I enjoy our nights in, playing cards or games and talking. I wish he could be here with us, but I understand why he can’t.
By the time we leave the bar, me completely sober, I’m more than ready to see him. He waited up for us just like I expected he would. Once Kylie is in her room, all tucked in, Tyler climbs in my bed, kisses me goodnight, and holds me until I fall asleep.