Chapter 35
Ididn’t know what else to say. I’m completely spiraling and feeling more out of control than I ever have since I left. And to prove that Charlie knows me way too well, he suggested the one thing I need. The thing that will help break me from the spiral and gain back my control.
And he admitted to falling in love with me.
I really didn’t know what to say to that. I still don’t.
So, instead of thinking about it further, I’m doing exactly what I need, and we will see if he still thinks he loves me.
Standing up from the couch, I look down at Charlie who is still sitting, waiting for me to tell him what I want him to do.
“Go to your room, and get naked,” I tell him, without emotion.
He nods, standing up staying close to me, our chests almost brushing. While I’m trying to keep all my emotions pushed away, his are written all over his face. His fear of losing me and the fact that he was telling the truth on how he feels. For a moment I think he’s going to kiss me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he walks past me toward his room.
I’m not in any rush as I go to mine. I strip out of my clothes, just down to my bra and underwear. Then, I go through my things to grab what I need. The strap on is something I’ve never actually used before, but always wanted to. And I know that I finally want to tonight.
As I enter Charlie’s room, I toss the toy onto his new bed along with some lube I grabbed. I watch him glance at it and then look at me, clearly trying to hide his shock.
“Remember I asked if there was anything you wouldn’t let me do?” I ask, standing in front of him while he’s gloriously naked and already hard for me. Clearly, any nervousness he has isn’t affecting the status of his erection.
“Yes,” he answers confidently.
“What did I tell you I wanted to do?”
“You wanted to fuck me.”
“How are you feeling about that now?”
I watch his hand twitch at his side, clearly wanting to reach out and touch me, but he doesn’t, and I already want to praise him for holding back.
“I trust you. Whatever you want to do, I want anything you’ll give me. I just want you, pretty girl.”
With that, I nod, “Lay on your back on the bed.”
I like that he doesn’t talk back, argue or question anything right now. He fully understands what I need, what I want, and is determined to submit perfectly. And fuck if that doesn’t have some emotion threatening to break through the walls I’ve erected.
“Fuck your fist. I want you nice and hard for me,” I demand.
His hand wraps around his impressive length as he pumps. I watch and appreciate how fucking sexy it is. Precum drips from the tip and he uses it to work himself harder. He lets out a slight groan and I’m having to squeeze my thighs together at the wetness pooling there watching my own personal show.
“I get it,” I say.
“Get what?” he grits out through his teeth.
“Why you liked to watch me for so long. I could watch you like this for a long ass time.”
“Like what you see, then?” he asks, and I watch his hand tighten around the tip, squeezing.
“I really do,” I lower onto my knees in between his legs. “But it’s my turn.”
Swatting his hand away, I replace it with my mouth, licking at the tip, getting the salty taste of him on my tongue before running it all around his head, under the crown and then all the way along his shaft getting him extra wet before sucking him into my mouth.
Charlie drops his head back on a loud groan as I suck him as far back into my throat as I can, swallowing around him. I squeeze the base of him with the few inches I’m unable to fit in my mouth.
Pulling my mouth off him, I pump my hand around his spit covered dick while looking up at his face that’s pinched in a mix of pleasure and torture. I drop my mouth back onto him and suck hard, bobbing my head before he moans loudly.
“Audrey, I’m close,” he warns.
With one more lick I remove my mouth from him to see he’s extremely hard, probably borderline painful. I stand up and he remains lying on his back, looking up at me. I reach for the belt with a fake dick attachment and begin to put it on.
“Last chance to change your mind,” I offer.
He shakes his head, “Not going to happen. I want whatever you need. I’m yours in every way.”
Another crack in my emotional wall, but I ignore it for now. I have to. If I allow myself to feel anything other than the physical right now, I’ll end up breaking down and that’s the last thing I want. I just want to feel.
“Turn over,” I tell him because I feel myself falling deeper with his eyes on me and I can’t have that right now. I just want the physical, I’m trying to grasp onto the last bit of hope that’s all this is. Even if it’s a big fucking lie.
I pour a generous amount of lube on the dick strapped to my body, coating my hand in the process as I make sure it’s completely covered. I step up behind Charlie who is lying on his stomach, the perfect hockey butt on full display for me. Leading down to his thick thighs and the way he’s here, unashamed, and so willing to do whatever I want.
Sliding my hand across his perfectly rounded ass, spreading the slippery lube across his skin before bringing it between his legs, moving up further. He tightens, the first show of nerves and I lean over his back to whisper, “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” he breathes, and attempts to relax.
I press the tip of my lube coated finger at his ass and he tightens again. I start to kiss along the side of his neck and don’t dare show how nervous I am. With all my talk about this, I don’t want him to know I’ve never done this before either. I’ve wanted to, but never had the chance.
He relaxes slightly so I push my finger in slightly while continuing to move my mouth along his skin. Licking, kissing, and nipping at his neck, then shoulder, moving to the other side to do the same as I continue to work my finger in.
I slip my other hand between him and the mattress to stroke at his hard cock while pushing another finger in. The dildo isn’t big at all, but I don’t want to hurt him. As soon as I wrap my hand around his erection he groans and starts to rut against my hand and the bed beneath us.
Moving back, I remove both my hands and I hear him bury his face in the sheets and sigh. I add even more lube to the toy before pressing forward against him, nudging just barely. He tenses once again, and I run my hand along his spine.
“You trust me?” I ask.
“Completely.”
And you love me?
I almost voice the second question, but bite it back. Instead, I press forward with my hips, watching the dildo enter him, slowly inch by inch. He groans but doesn’t tell me to stop or complain that it’s hurting, so I continue.
When I’m fully seated, I give him a moment to adjust. He’s already moving his hips, rubbing himself against the bed.
Bending over him once again, I ask, “How does it feel?”
“Different.”
“The way you’re fucking the mattress makes me think that’s a good thing.”
“I’m imagining it’s your pussy.”
I can’t help the chuckle I let out, “If you’re a good boy and let me fuck you, then you can get my pussy however you want it.”
“What about your ass?” he turns to look at me over his shoulder.
I bite the corner of my lip, “If you’re a good boy, you can have all of me.”
He smiles at me, and it’s almost my undoing, so I pull back and thrust in again. He grunts at the feeling but continues to try and meet my thrusts with his own. I angle my hips and he lets out a loud moan so I know I’ve found the special spot for him.
“Audrey,” he groans. “I want to see you.”
I know if I let him, he will see the truth I’m trying to hide about what I’m thinking. I feel myself falling apart a little more each second that passes as I continue my movements. Against my better judgment, I pull back.
“Turn over,” my voice wobbles slightly and I hate it.
He doesn’t waste any time, turning over and my eyes immediately meet his that are so full of his truth. His emotions, his love, his lust, his fucking everything.
I climb back over him and thrust in once again, this time seeing his face. The initial wince he tries to hide from me that morphs into pleasure as I hit the perfect spot once again. I take his dick in my hand, and pump with a tight fist with each thrust of my hips, making him moan loudly.
“Audrey, fuck, this is…fuck,” he tries to keep looking at me, but his eyes shut with pleasure as I move my fist harder with another thrust.
“Such a good boy for me, letting me fuck you. You’d give me whatever I want, wouldn’t you?” I rasp because this angle and the pace of my thrusts has a part of the strap on belt rubbing my clit perfectly, sending shots of pleasure through my body.
“Anything, pretty girl. Anything. I’m yours completely, you have no fucking idea. Oh shit,” he groans, and I can tell he’s close with the way his cock jumps in my hand.
“Are you going to come all over both of us while getting fucked?”
“Yes, oh don’t stop,” he pleads.
I wouldn’t do that to either of us, increasing my pace with my hips, tightening my fist and twisting my wrist all while my own pleasure builds from the rub of the fabric. Our moans fill the room as we both chase our orgasms, and my hips start to stutter as mine crests.
“Come, Charlie, let go,” I command because I know I’m not going to be able to keep going as soon as my orgasm hits me.
And boy does it hit me, I moan as it crashes over me while I feel warmth start to coat my hand and Charlie joins me in ecstasy. My legs start to feel weak, so I pull out of him and before I know what’s happening, I’m being yanked onto the bed, and rolled onto my back. I gasp in surprise while Charlie removes the strap on easily, tossing it somewhere onto the bed.
“Wha–” I start, but before I can finish his mouth is on my pussy and I cry out because I’m already so sensitive. When he sucks my clit into his mouth roughly, I swear I almost black out, the mix of pleasure and pain from the overstimulation, but I don’t want him to stop.
“That was so fucking hot,” he says against me before running his tongue along my entire slit and I already feel another orgasm coming.
“Yeah, you came so fucking,“ I pause with a gasp, breathing out the last word, “hard.”
“I did, and now I need to feel you come on my tongue.” He flicks said tongue along my clit, then down to my entrance, spearing me before moving back up and sucking my clit once again.
“Well keep doing that and I will,” I moan, yanking the hair on the top of his head to keep him exactly where I want him to be.
“Let go, Audrey. Let go,” I feel like he’s talking about more than my orgasm, but at this moment that’s what happens, and I explode on his mouth, screaming while he continues to work me with his tongue.
As I come down, he crawls up my body, hovering over me. I notice he’s hard again and I’m impressed, giving him a look to portray that. “That’s a fast recovery time, Mann,” I tease.
“I think it’s a side effect of being borderline addicted to you,” he rubs said hard cock along the inside of my thigh.
“Guess we should take care of that then, shouldn’t we?”
“You’re the boss,” he winks before pressing against me, nudging my entrance, but pausing and meeting my eyes, the seriousness there makes my heart start to pound. “I meant what I said, I’m yours. My body, my heart, it’s all yours.”
I hate the fact that I feel the sting of tears threatening to appear and I will them away, grabbing the back of his head and pulling his mouth onto mine in a furious kiss while he presses inside me. I don’t dare separate our mouths while he pumps into me, rubbing his pelvis with each slide of his perfect cock.
We moan together while our tongues slide against each other’s as he fucks me. What starts slow and savoring turns desperate quickly as we both feel the need, the fire within us that needs to be put out. The heaviness of tonight lingering. The confessions are still in both our minds and we work to forget it all in this moment while we connect in every way possible.
I’m feeling yet another orgasm approaching. I wrap my legs around his back, locking my ankles and pulling him harder, wanting everything he will give me because he’s mine. And I want him to take everything I’m giving him because even though I haven’t been able to say it out loud, I’m his.
When we both explode one more time, the pleasure takes everything else with it. The pain of the past, the fear of the future, and all the words both spoken and unspoken between us. As we collapse, wrapping around each other covered in sweat and cum we don’t move. Both too exhausted and knowing this moment is so much more than just the physical intimacy we shared.
We lay together in silence, our breathing eventually evens out, and I feel the exhaustion pulling me under. The last thing I remember hearing is Charlie’s soft whisper, “I love you.”