The Reality Of It All

Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

I stumbled into breakfast the next morning, weary from another night of restless sleep.

“Morning,” Trace said cheerily as I slumped into the seat next to her. “Coffee?” she asked.

“Please.” I held up my mug and she poured me some.

“No offense, Calla, but you look awful,” Danny said in his usual gruff voice from across the table.

“How am I not supposed to take offense to that?”

Rachel and Arnie came in and sat across the table from me. Arnie took one look at me before asking, “Rough night?”

I sighed and sipped my coffee, which had just barely cooled down enough not to scald the roof of my mouth. Apparently, the extra time I had taken to apply concealer to the circles under my eyes this morning had been a pointless effort.

Grant and Sofia walked in and sat at the other end of the table. Of course, Sofia was flawless. She always trotted down to breakfast in some skintight athleisure outfit that probably cost half of my month’s rent. I watched her perfect ponytail bounce from side to side as she reached for something across the table. Was it my imagination, or was she considerably peppier than she had been the past two mornings?

Trace elbowed me lightly in the ribcage. “Stop staring,” she whispered.

“I wasn’t staring,” I lied, even though I had been quite obviously sizing Sofia up. I had been trying not to compare myself to her, but now that I knew Eli had kissed her it was all I could think about. There was no way I was his type over her. She screamed LA. I screamed baggage.

“It’s not a competition,” Trace said, reading my mind.

“Isn’t it literally a competition though?” I countered.

She thought about that for a moment. “Not in the way you’re thinking.”

I wanted to tell her what I’d overheard after she went to bed last night, but there were too many nearby ears.

“Are you alright?” Arnie mouthed at me.

“I’m fine,” I mouthed back.

My heart swelled with appreciation for him. Even when I thought this place was about to swallow me whole, I could always count on him to be sincere.

“Morning,” a smooth voice said from the doorway.

Goosebumps pricked the back of my neck as Eli took the other seat next to me. My first inclination was to look down the table to see Sofia’s response. She had a huge grin on her face as she wiggled her fingers at him. Their talk last night must have gone well since she wasn’t acting like a scorned lover any more.

Eli reached across me to grab the coffee carafe and shot me an apprehensive look in the process.

“Where were you last night?” he asked, close to my ear. “I waited hours for you. ”

“Hours?” I kept my voice light. “You should really get some sleep or we’re never going to win any challenges.”

He just stared at me.

“I mean...not like sleep is the reason we’re losing, anyway. We’d probably need a miracle for me to somehow start performing adequately,” I rambled.

My joke fell flat as his eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s still early and I’ve hardly consumed any caffeine. I didn’t meet you last night because I actually slept through the night for once.”

I hoped he didn’t examine my exhausted appearance and call me out on my lie. In reality, I had gotten approximately four hours of sleep before another dream of Michael had startled me awake around three a.m. Once again, he had been hurrying me to get somewhere and, of course, I couldn’t do it. Then at the end, Michael had turned into Eli, and all of a sudden, we were rushing to make it to the next challenge. If we didn’t win that one, we’d lose the whole competition. We never made it, naturally, and I’d woken up in a cold sweat yet again.

Concern was evident on Eli’s face, but thankfully he didn’t press the issue.

“I’m glad you slept well,” he said instead. “I almost went and knocked on your door, but I talked myself out of it. I probably paced outside for, like, fifteen minutes before I finally gave up.” The corner of his lip curved up and I instantly felt guilty for lying. But even after waking up, I just hadn’t been able to stomach going to see him. Not after what Trace said, and not after overhearing him and Sofia.

Eli had tangled me effortlessly in his web, but now that I was starting to feel something, alarm had set in. All of my fears were coming true. I had found myself making the dangerous choice—the guy that anyone would bet on as the most likely candidate to break my heart. He had gained my trust and chiseled a hole right through my guard without me even noticing.

I had to step back.

“Y’all have any guesses on today’s challenge?” Trace asked over the dull chatter and the clinking of silverware.

“Probably another physical one,” Arnie said. “I didn’t realize when we started that this show would be quite so intense.”

“Good thing you’re more than just a big brain,” Rachel teased, nudging him with her shoulder. Arnie’s face turned scarlet.

“I, for one, am ready for today,” Grant said. “I’m sensing a shift in the winds. Something’s going to be different.”

Danny snorted. “Probably not your ranking, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I just hope I survive this one,” I added in another attempt at a joke. It didn’t land, and I turned to find Eli wincing.

“I’ll make sure today goes smoothly,” he promised.

“Hey, I’m an unathletic, accident-prone, anxiety-ridden klutz. None of my performances have been your fault.”

He brushed my knee with his under the table and my whole body felt hot at the simple touch.

“I promise today will be better,” he said again.

We had to be driven a few miles from the lodge for today’s challenge. Maybe it was sad, but I savored these short car rides. They gave me a hint of normalcy. I could just sit in the back seat as a member of the crew drove us somewhere. The radio played softly in the background, and I could stare at the mountains in the distance as we rolled along a dirt road.

Today, I pressed my face against the glass, relishing the coolness on my forehead. Looking out at the landscape, I was struck again by just how beautiful it was out here. I had never been much of a traveler, but now I wished I could see more of the world—or at least the country. Preferably under circumstances that did not involve me being constantly recorded.

“Are you okay?” Trace whispered. “You seemed a little off at breakfast.”

“No talking.” Brady whipped his head around to glare from the passenger seat.

I gave Trace a thumbs-up instead of answering.

“No signaling either,” he warned, before turning back to face the front.

We rolled our eyes at each other. The girls and guys were separated before the challenge, so Rachel, Trace, Sofia, and I all rode in the same van. Because there were no cameras in the van, Brady and Shay had instructed us not to talk. They couldn’t use it as footage, so they didn’t want us to spill anything juicy while we were in there. Honestly, that was fine with me. It added to the few moments of peace.

Minutes later we pulled into a gravelly spot. It was basically an open field surrounded by a forested area. The guys already stood on their mat, awaiting our arrival. Rita was getting a touch up from the makeup team as we were ushered out of the van.

Brady lined us up. “You all look great. Isn’t it a beautiful day? No storm in sight.”

I shot him a dirty look. He was always trying to be friendly, but at this point, he had prodded us in interviews too many times for us to play nice with him. Even Trace didn’t attempt small talk .

The crew members backed away and Robert came out to go over safety rules.

“Okay, today you’ll be riding four-wheelers. After we film the challenge intro with Rita, I’ll go over safety measures with each of you. You’ll be riding one team to a four-wheeler.” He held up a map and a compass. “These are your maps. Each team will be going to a different area of the forest, but everything is within a half-mile of where we’re standing now. Each team will have a satellite phone in case of an emergency, but if we have to come get you that will pull you out of the challenge. Once you find your spot in the forest, you’ll find a simple wooden structure and building materials. You’ll be following a set of basic instructions to build an emergency shelter. You’ll have a cameraman and a crew member on site with you, so as soon as you’re done, have them check your work. Once they approve, you’ll ride back here. The order you arrive is your new rank. Make sense?”

“We’re building a house?” Sofia asked skeptically.

Robert chuckled. “Not quite. The foundational structure of the shelter is already there. You’ll be adding walls and a roof. No different than assembling furniture.”

“So now we’re just doing free manual labor for the lodge?” Grant asked.

Robert ignored his question and continued giving instructions.

I eyed the four-wheeler. The building part sounded a lot less intimidating than getting on the back of that thing. With the way my luck had been going, I’m sure Eli would insist on driving.

The guys asked a few additional questions before Robert wished us all luck and exited the set. Rita replaced him and shook out her long hair.

“Ready,” she shouted .

They counted us down and she began her intro. She briefly went over the general nature of the challenge before telling us it was time to pick our teams.

“And remember,” she added. “After this, there will be only one more chance for partner swaps before we enter the final stage of this experience.”

Arnie was up first, and he beamed while selecting Rachel. My heart soared for him. He looked so excited about the possibilities. If anyone deserved to find someone in this, it was him.

Next up was Danny. As soon as he said Trace’s name, his face softened.

This was going to be a boring selection for the show since we’d all be selecting the same partners again. This was probably a moment in the editing booth where they’d cut to us all standing on the mat together in already-formed pairs.

Grant stepped forward next.

We all waited for him to call Sofia’s name. They weren’t getting along particularly well, but he had no other options. Grant and I hadn’t even spoken two words to each other outside of a group setting.

“Calla,” he said confidently.

Eli whipped his head around to glare at him. “What the hell?” he demanded.

My feet stayed rooted on the mat, still processing what had just happened.

“Calla, join your new partner,” Rita said sweetly.

My feet felt heavy as I walked over to stand next to Grant. Instantly my brain flooded with thoughts of last night and the conversation I had overheard between Eli and Sofia. She had been begging Eli to pick her; had Eli somehow convinced Grant to pick me so Sofia would be open for him?

My gut, and the way Eli glared at Grant, told me that was unlikely. But I felt so confused right now, I wasn’t sure what to think.

“Eli, you seem upset,” Rita pressed. “I’m assuming Grant picking Calla is a surprise to you?”

“Damn right it is.” He rubbed his temple and stared at the two of us. “He doesn’t even know her.”

“So, it’s safe to say you would have selected Calla if you’d had the option.”

“It should have been us,” Eli said, eyes locking with mine.

“Calla, do you agree?”

I swallowed to coat my dry throat. “I-I’m a little shocked that Grant picked me. We’ve never really spoken before.”

“You hoped you’d be with Eli?” she pressed.

I nodded. Despite everything, I’d assumed I’d still be with Eli today. It was what I wanted. I could try to piece my walls back into place and deny my feelings, but they were there. And they were only getting stronger.

“Sofia, why don’t you join Eli.”

Sofia smirked as she sauntered over to take her place next to Eli on the mat. Rita said a few more words before cutting the scene. Crew members walked us over to our four-wheelers, but before Eli and I were separated, he reached down and squeezed my hand.

“Hey, be careful out there today,” he said. “I better not find you being medically evacuated.”

I forced a smile. “I’ll try my best.”

He lingered for a moment, as if not wanting to let me out of his sight. Then he looked at Grant and his eyes hardened. “Don’t do anything stupid on that four-wheeler, Grant.”

He held up his hands. “I won’t, Christ. I’ll take care of your girl, Eli.”

“If she’s my girl, then why the fuck did you pick her?”

Grant grinned. “Maybe I’m hoping I can persuade her otherwise. Anyway, sounds like this challenge will be nice and long. Lots of time to get to know each other.”

Eli stood there fuming. This in no way seemed like the reaction of a guy who had wanted someone else as a partner. Eli’s response at least provided me a little comfort as we were separated.

Robert pulled Grant and I away and gave us a quick explanation of how to operate the vehicle. Then we were given our map and compass to help us find the location of the shelter we’d be building.

They called action and I took in the map, noticing a circled spot just southwest of where we were standing. Holding up the compass, I oriented myself with our surroundings.

“We need to go that way,” I said, pointing in the direction of some thick brush.

“You can read a map?” Grant swung a leg over the four-wheeler.

“You can’t?” I arched an eyebrow and stood next to the four-wheeler, still wary about getting on the back of it. I tightened the strap on my helmet just to ensure it was on securely.

Grant shrugged. “There’s an app for everything nowadays.”

Rachel and Arnie, and Trace and Danny, had already taken off in different directions. Eli and Sofia were the only others who remained. Sofia was already yelling something that was being muffled by her helmet as Eli flipped the map around.

“Are you going to get on the bike, Calla? I swear I don’t bite.”

I wasn’t entirely sure about that. But here we were, and I really didn’t want to come in last and potentially be stuck with Grant for the remainder of our time here. So, I swung my leg over the seat and joined him.

“You’re going to fall off if you don’t scooch forward and grab on.”

I winced and did as he said. While I didn’t want to come into physical contact with him, I also didn’t want to die on the back of this thing. Or worse, have another humiliating moment and spend the afternoon in the medical van—again.

“You on?” Grant asked.

“Uh huh,” I said as I gripped his waist tighter.

“I won’t go too fast,” he assured me. “Just try to yell in my ear if you don’t think I’m going the right way.”

“I’ll yell when to stop. Just drive straight that way and then we can check the map again,” I instructed.

Grant pulled away and we headed out through the forest. It wasn’t as scary as I’d anticipated it would be. The wind whipped at our clothes but the weather was relatively warm, with the sun beating down on us. As we entered the forest, we came to a clearly marked path.

Grant sped up a little bit and I held on tighter, surprised to find myself smiling.

This was actually kind of fun.

We arrived at a fork in the road and I yelled, “Stop.”

Grant obliged and I pulled out the map from my pocket.

“Okay, looks like we need to go left. It should be up the path just a few hundred feet.”

“You got it, boss. Ready?”

“Ready.”

Grant took off again and we arrived at the building site. There was already a camera operator there, as well as the structure that we had been told about.

We both hopped off and jogged over to the job site.

Grant ran a hand through his hair after taking off his helmet. “This is going to take forever,” he said, assessing all the building materials in front of us.

He was right. Even if the instructions were simple and we hit this out of the park, it would still take at least an hour or two.

“Let’s get started, then,” I said, finding a blueprint of sorts and examining it. Grant leaned over my shoulder to look at it too.

“Maybe we should start here,” he suggested. He pointed to the walls that we’d have to build. The whole thing was relatively basic. We’d assemble each wall on the ground before attaching them to the base of the shelter.

We got to work, silently at first. I would hand him the next piece and he would screw it into place with the provided electric screwdriver. Thankfully, the burn from my zip lining incident was well on its way to being fully healed, and I could barely feel it underneath the fresh bandage I had applied this morning.

After twenty minutes we had the first wall done and set aside. As we moved on to the next one, I wordlessly handed Grant the next piece.

He eyed me and grabbed it. “You know, this might go by faster if we—I don’t know—talk?”

“You want to talk to me?” My disbelief was evident.

He screwed down the piece. “Why not?”

“You haven’t wanted to talk to me so far,” I pointed out.

“When have I had the chance? You were always with Arnie, and then Eli.”

I mean...I guess he wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t like I was the most open person in the world, especially not with him.

“No offense, but it just didn’t seem like we’d get along,” I said .

He clutched his hand to his heart. “Ouch. Offense taken. Why would you say that?”

“I really need to spell it out?” I asked, surprised he was pushing this.

“Yes. Spell it out for me.”

I sighed. “You seem to have come here for the fame and to make a spectacle of yourself. I’ve spent pretty much my entire life avoiding spectacles. I don’t think we have a lot in common.”

“Avoiding spectacles, huh? That doesn’t sound like much fun.” He took the next piece I handed him.

I fought the urge to glare at him. “I’m fun. Are you trying to imply that I’m not? Just because I’m not thriving in this setting, doesn’t mean I’m not fun.”

He chuckled. “You probably weren’t thriving in any setting, if someone signed you up to be here.”

I couldn’t believe his audacity. “Excuse me?” No one ever had the guts to say something like that to my face. Not after what I had been through. But Grant didn’t look the least bit apologetic.

“I know you went through some hard shit, but what’s your plan now? Just wallow your life away until you die?”

“You don’t even know me!” I exclaimed, standing up and momentarily forgetting about the task at hand—and the camera that I’m sure was zooming in on my face.

“And whose fault is that?”

I rubbed my forehead in frustration. “Why are you saying all this stuff, Grant? What’s the point? Are you just trying to get under my skin?”

He looked up at me from where he still hovered by the unfinished wall. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have much of a filter. ”

“Can you just filter it a little bit so we can get through this challenge?”

“Sure,” he said easily. Too easily.

I resumed handing him the next piece of the wall and he screwed it in. But by the time he was done, he already seemed eager to talk again.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” The softness in his voice had me jerking my head up. “I know that’s why most people don’t like me. I can be a lot. And sometimes I don’t know how to be any less.”

Frowning, I handed him another piece. “You should just be yourself,” I said.

“I’m always myself.” He grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “That’s usually what puts people off.”

“Not everyone,” I insisted, suddenly feeling the need to reassure him, even though ten minutes ago I would have probably wholeheartedly agreed with that statement.

“It puts you off,” he pointed out.

I chewed the inside of my lip, feeling slightly guilty. “Maybe I’m just a sensitive person.”

Grant tipped his head back and laughed. “You definitely are sensitive, but that has nothing to do with your aversion to me.”

“Hey!” I exclaimed.

“What? You thought I was going to deny it? You can call me a lot of things, Calla, but not a liar.”

We stared at each other for a moment before I finally gave in. “Fine, you’re right. I am sensitive. And maybe I did find you a little off-putting. We’re obviously very different people, so I never bothered to try and get to know you.”

“And that seems fair to you?” he questioned.

“You’re right.” I sighed. “I thought I knew enough, so I relied on my initial perception of you, and that’s not fair. Because in reality, I know nothing about who you are, why you’re here.” I paused for a moment, assessing him. “Or, for that matter, why you picked me today.”

Wordlessly, Grant moved back to screwing in the next piece of the wall.

After a few moments, I scoffed. “What? Are you done talking to me now? You really won’t tell me why you picked me?”

I whipped my hair into a ponytail in frustration.

Grant wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I’m sorry about all this,” he said. “I picked you because Sofia begged me to. She wanted to be with Eli, so I said yes. And I’m sorry I did. I don’t want to mess anything up for you.”

“I knew it!” I pointed a finger at his chest, but I stopped when I noticed his crestfallen face. “Why did you agree to it? It doesn’t seem like you and Sofia are friendly enough that you’d just willingly do her bidding.”

“Exactly,” he said, his tone exasperated. “All we do is bicker. We can’t stand each other. I haven’t made a single friend since we started this whole thing.”

My heart sank as he continued talking.

“Maybe I just thought working with you today would be fun. Maybe I’m desperate for a conversation that doesn’t end in someone rolling their eyes at me. Maybe I thought you might be the most likely person to take me seriously.”

The earnestness in his voice was staggering. I moved back to our project and resumed handing him pieces. As we worked, I glanced back over at him. “Tell me something, then. Something real. Why are you here?”

“You don’t have to pity me.”

“I want to know,” I insisted.

His blond hair hung in his face; the perfectly-gelled style he typically wore was completely messed up by this point. I couldn’t help but think that this disheveled look suited him much better. “I don’t know. I guess my family is worried about me. I’ve never had a real relationship and they don’t want me to wake up alone one day. They know I have this front that I put on, but they want someone to know who I really am.”

Well, if that didn’t slice right through my heart. Here I was, putting Grant in this box just like everyone else, when in reality we weren’t that different.

“Maybe you haven’t found someone in this group, but someone out there will see the real you.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

“I’m serious, Grant. You don’t have to hide behind dirty jokes all the time.”

“But they’re funny,” he said as he screwed in the next piece.

“Don’t start or I will roll my eyes at you,” I warned.

We continued to work, trying to pick up the pace a little. We fell into an effortless rhythm, talking about little things as we went. He told me about his life back home and about his family. We talked about our favorite movies and what we were most excited to do when we got out of here. Mine was to crack open a book and read it on my couch surrounded by every takeout cuisine imaginable. His was to get his phone back so that he could start scrolling the dating apps—shocker.

The surprisingly easy flow of our conversation had us finishing the next wall quickly. As we observed our work, I eyed him up and down. Here I had been thinking that he was this self-centered jerk, when actually I had been the dismissive one.

“I really am sorry, for what it’s worth,” Grant said. “I shouldn’t have picked you.”

Sighing, I turned my attention back to the blueprints to see the next steps. “It’s fine. It’s probably for the best,” I said .

“What are you talking about?”

I ignored his question. “We need to attach the walls next.”

Grant followed my lead, grabbing one end of a wall and lifting. “Calla, seriously. What did you mean by that?” he asked again as we leaned the wall against the structure.

“I don’t know.” I hesitated, in disbelief that I was about to open up to Grant of all people. “It’s just every time I think Eli and I might have something, the universe tries to convince me something about it isn’t right. We’re just so different, and I can’t help but think about who he was before this.” I didn’t want to tell him what Trace had told me last night in front of the ever-present cameraman.

Grant scoffed as he started to fix the wall into place. “You’re judging him for his past? I wouldn’t peg you as someone that would do that.”

“I would never,” I insisted.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I’m trying not to be stupid, here!” I exclaimed, frustrated that everyone in this place was so eager for me to lay my heart on the line. As if the possibility of heartbreak shouldn’t even be taken into consideration. But I knew firsthand just how devastating that could be for me. “I don’t want—no, I can’t set myself up to get hurt.”

Grant finished screwing in the last corner and tipped his head in my direction. “The only stupid thing you’re doing right now is pulling back. This is exactly what I was talking about earlier. You’re wallowing your life away. You’re scared.”

“Of course I’m scared!” I snapped, no longer able to feign nonchalance.

Grant cleared his throat and we moved to grab the next wall in silence.

Shoot. I hadn’t meant to yell like that. Tears stung my eyes and I willed them to retreat .

We leaned the next wall into place.

“I know I’m being hard on you,” Grant said. “I guess I just wish someone was here that I actually felt something for. Maybe I’m just jealous.”

“Jealous?” I asked, uncertain. The guy who’d gone around making inappropriate jokes and couldn’t pass a mirror without checking his hair was jealous because he hadn’t made a real connection?

“I dunno. I didn’t think I was, but it kind of sucks watching people fall in love around me while I’ve been sidelined this whole time. I’ve never wanted a relationship, but being here is a stark reminder of just how alone I am.”

“Trust me, same,” I said.

“Then keep trying with Eli. Don’t back off just because you’re scared. Even if it doesn’t end up working out, for whatever reason, you’ll always regret it if you don’t try.”

Never did I think I would be taking to heart anything that Grant said. “Look at you giving me sound advice.”

He smirked and turned toward me. “See what happens when you give people a chance?”

Grant’s advice spun through my head as we finished assembling the shed-like structure. We moved with surprising speed. Turns out, we were pretty good partners. We didn’t argue once about where a piece should go. If you’d told me at the start of today that I would spend hours alone with Grant and actually enjoy myself, I’d have laughed in your face. But we continued to talk as we went. I felt like I got to understand him a lot better. And he only made a dirty joke about wood twice.

Pretty soon, Grant had screwed in the final piece and we were calling over our cameraman and crewmember for a check. They gave us a thumbs-up and I squealed and high-fived Grant before we took off on our four-wheeler again .

When we pulled into the gravelly lot where we’d started, only Danny and Trace were back, standing on the sidelines getting interviewed.

We hopped off the vehicle and removed our helmets. Rita clapped from her position in front of a camera. “Congratulations to Calla and Grant, team number two! This was a close one. Danny and Trace only arrived minutes ago.”

Trace squealed and ran over to me, enveloping me in a hug. “Congrats,” she whispered before pulling away. “Was it awful working with Grant?”

“Um, hello? I’m right here.” He stood just behind me, crossing his arms.

“It wasn’t bad at all,” I said.

Her face registered surprise. “Well, we only beat you because Danny pretty much completed this challenge solo.”

“You were a great cheerleader,” he said, grinning.

She beamed up at him. “Thanks, babe!”

“Hey,” Brady approached us. “We need you and Grant for some quick interviews.”

We followed him over to the side where he positioned us and once again insisted that I take my hair down, even though I was a sweaty mess. He asked us how we had worked together and if there was any connection between the two of us.

“Just a friendship,” I said, and Grant nudged me.

The interview lasted fifteen minutes, and while we talked, Arnie and Rachel arrived. That left only Eli and Sofia.

“You okay?” Arnie asked me, looking worriedly between Grant and I after Brady released us.

Grant rolled his eyes and reached over to tousle my hair. “God, everyone is acting like I’m some kind of monster that poor, innocent Calla was subjected to. Is it so hard to believe that we got along?”

“Yes,” Rachel said, glaring at him .

“You’re biased because you hate me,” Grant pointed out.

“I’m biased because you’re awful?—”

“We did get along,” I interrupted, not wanting everyone to pile on Grant.

Rachel looked appalled at my statement. “If you say so.”

Arnie watched the edge of the woods. “How much longer do you think Eli and Sofia will take? We had to completely reassemble one of our walls because we missed a piece. I thought we’d be last for sure.”

“I guarantee you Eli is blowing it on purpose,” Danny said.

“Like, throwing the challenge?” Trace asked.

“Definitely. He doesn’t want Sofia to pick him for the end. Right now, he’ll be taking his sweet-ass time to finish.”

My face flushed at the idea of Eli throwing a challenge to ensure I could pick him. It made me think all the way back to the first challenge of the show.

The maze.

He’d seemed to be doing so poorly. I had ended up beating him, even though I’d had to turn around and go another way when I was almost at the end. Then after, he had asked me to pick him as a partner. Had he thrown that one too?

“There they are,” Rachel pointed as the last four-wheeler came cruising through the woods. It came to an abrupt stop, and Sofia flung herself off.

“Last! I told you!” she screamed.

Eli took off his helmet, his expression one of mixed relief and exhaustion.

Rita announced them as last place. Eli barely even registered it. Instead, he walked straight toward me, his eyes scanning every inch of me in the process.

“You alright?” he asked .

Grant sighed exasperatedly. “Of course she’s fine.”

“Can you back off and give us some space?” Eli asked, jaw clenched.

“I really am fine,” I insisted, as Grant and the rest of the group walked toward the vans. “The last two challenges were a fluke, I promise. I don’t typically end up needing medical attention on a daily basis.”

That got him to brighten a bit. “Only when you’re with me, apparently.”

I laughed. “Just a coincidence.”

Eli took my hand and ran his thumb across the back of it. “Of course, for the first challenge that actually took a while and involved communication, we get separated.”

“It’s really fine. At least Grant and I came in second.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “Second, really?” he asked, searching my face. “I guess at least we’ll be together for the finals now.”

“Did you lose on purpose?” I blurted out. I wasn’t sure if it mattered, but I wanted to know all the same.

Eli ran a hand through his curls. “I mean, did I want us to lose? Yes. Is Sofia such a bad partner that she nagged me the whole time and gave me bad instructions? Also, yes.”

My lip turned up. “Grant and I actually worked really well together. I might want to stick with him.”

Eli pinched my side and I let out an involuntary screech of laughter.

“Over my dead body,” he whispered playfully.

“You’re unbelievable!” Sofia exclaimed as she barged through the doors behind me and began stalking toward me until she was right in my face .

I bit my tongue, not wanting to engage in unnecessary drama.

“Back off.” Rachel took a step in front of me defensively.

The girls’ van had arrived at the lodge first and the entire ride had been the definition of awkward silence. It seemed Sofia had finally reached her breaking point with me regarding the Eli situation. She had tried yelling something at me the moment we got into the van, but Brady had threatened her with a fine if she didn’t stop, and to wait to say anything until cameras were rolling. So the whole way back, I got to dread the delightful confrontation that would come to a head the moment we walked across that threshold.

“I’m not backing off,” Sofia insisted, glaring at me. “I’m not being silent on this anymore.”

“Dare to dream,” Rachel said sarcastically.

Trace stood next to me and squeezed my arm. “We’ve got your back.”

“You all should have my back. She’s the one who’s pretending to be innocent, while the whole time she’s just scheming to steal my partner,” Sofia said, seething.

“Me? Scheming?” I scoffed. “I’m not the one who basically forced Grant to pick me so you’d be paired with Eli today.”

“Is that true?” Trace asked.

“No,” Sofia said stubbornly.

I said a silent prayer that she’d drop this soon. “Yes, it is. Grant told me.”

“And you believe him?” Sofia demanded.

“I do,” I responded simply.

“I believe that too, and I don’t even like Grant,” Rachel chimed in.

“Look, Sofia, I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you and Eli, but you just can’t keep blaming me for it,” I said .

She pursed her pouty lips and stuck her chin high in the air. “We kissed. Did you know that? Stop acting like I’m delusional. We had something, until you sunk your claws into him.”

Trace gasped. “Really?”

Sighing, I sidestepped Sofia and moved further into the large room, attempting to gain some space. Typically, I hated confrontation. It gave me a rash. But I was too exhausted from the day to even get a spiked heart rate from this conversation.

“I knew you kissed, but that doesn’t change anything. I never latched my claws into Eli, or whatever mastermind plan you think took place. We just got to know each other, that’s all. It’s not my fault he picked me.”

“You picked him too,” she hissed, meeting me where I stood and getting a little too in my face for comfort.

Someone would step in if she tried to slap me, right? I hadn’t been in a physical fight in my entire life and I didn’t intend to break that streak today.

“So what? I’m allowed to pick him.” Lifting my chin, I refused to back down. But I did notice her long nails, and I wondered what kind of damage they could do.

“It’s pathetic, you know that? You’re pathetic.”

“Watch it!” Rachel said. She was at my side now.

“No, everyone is thinking it. Maybe people are hyping you up to your face and telling you how cute you and Eli are, but I’ll tell you what everyone is really thinking.”

My throat flexed as I braced myself for the jab.

“Eli can have any woman he wants, and he pretty much has. Maybe you’re holding his interest here because his options are limited, but it will pass, I can assure you. I know guys like him. Your sweet little innocent act might be catching his eye now, but after he spends time with you, and really gets to know you, he’ll drop you so fast you won’t know what hit you.” She laughed like some villain in an animated film.

“What the hell are you going on about?” Eli jogged into the room. His eyes narrowed as soon as he caught sight of Sofia and me.

“Nothing,” I responded, but it came out like a croak thanks to how dry my throat was. Sofia’s words hit me like a freight train. They were everything I had already been thinking, but to hear the words regurgitated back to me gave them new life. Grant’s pep talk back in the woods faded further from my mind as Sofia’s venomous words latched onto my brain like a leech.

“What did she say to you?” Eli questioned.

“The truth,” Sofia said.

“No!” Rachel exclaimed. “She’s just spewing bullshit, as usual.”

The rest of the guys filtered in. I felt frozen in place. I was just what I had been afraid of being on this show, a spectacle. Someone whom everyone pitied.

“Calla, what are you thinking?” Eli reached out and grabbed my arm, but I instinctively backed away. His face crumpled at my reaction, but I was too in my head to know the right thing to say or do in the moment. I just wanted to be alone.

“Sorry,” I said softly to Eli, hating to see the hurt etched in his features.

“Let’s give her some space. Come on, let’s go sit by the fire.” Trace led me away from the group, who were now loudly arguing with Sofia.

As soon as I slumped into a seat, I placed my head in my hands and groaned. “I’m so tired.”

“Same,” Trace agreed. “It’s like emotional boot camp, what they’re putting us through. ”

“More like emotional manipulation,” I said.

She plopped down next to me. She let me sit there for a second, getting my thoughts back under control. After a minute, Trace started talking again. “When Danny and I had our first date, there was so much chemistry flying off us, I thought for sure I’d see an actual spark.”

“That’s amazing.” Anyone could see the attraction between the two of them, it was blatantly obvious.

She looked across the room to Danny, who was pulling Eli away to talk with him and Arnie. Sofia and Rachel hadn’t stopped going at it. Knowing Rachel, Sofia’s attack on me was likely just a great excuse to finally lay into her.

“It was amazing,” Trace continued. “I really liked him. But then Brady pulled me in for an interview and asked me approximately one hundred questions about how different Danny and I were. And did I really think we might work in the real world?”

I scoffed, appalled by Brady’s cheap tactics. “Don’t let them get in your head. You and Danny are great together.”

“I know that.” Trace tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder and I admired how unfazed she always seemed by this whole process. Clearly, they were trying to get to her just as much as the rest of us, but she always showed up every day with an optimistic attitude.

“But you need to follow your own advice. Don’t let them get in your head,” Trace asserted. “They’re using Sofia to get to you. What do you think they talk about in her interviews? Probably how she and Eli are perfect together and you’re a distraction. Maybe she’s the villain in your love story, but you’re the villain in hers.”

Sofia sat in a corner, arms folded, having finally extracted herself from Rachel. She looked mad. But also...so alone.

“Maybe her intentions are misguided and maybe she is a little self-absorbed, but she’s being manipulated just like the rest of us. She’s just a character to them. We all are. Don’t let what she said get to you, because it’s exactly what they want.”

“You’re right.” I needed to stop focusing on my insecurities and consider what I actually wanted.

“I’m not going for an interview and then back to my room. I need to talk to her!” Eli’s voice carried, as he fumed over at the other end of the room.

I jerked my head up at the commotion and we made brief eye contact before Shay whispered something into his ear. Whatever she said appeared to anger him, but he gave a resigned nod. He caught my eye. I forced a small smile, hopefully conveying to him that I was fine.

“Guess they’re calling it a little early today,” I said, as I looked out the windows towards the sun that had just barely set.

Trace sighed. “Seems like they already got their story for the night.”