Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
“Now that you’ve selected your partners, it’s time for the most intense challenge of the season.” Rita clapped her perfectly manicured hands together. Even though we were once again at the edge of a heavily forested area, she sported a hot pink studded blazer. “I hope you’ve not only connected well with your partners throughout this process, but that you’ve also learned a few things about yourself.”
Eli bumped my shoulder with his. “Think you can handle this without an injury?”
“I guess we’ll find out. You are my partner again, and our track record isn’t the greatest,” I said teasingly.
“Hey,” barked Shay from behind the camera. She pointed at us. “No talking while we’re filming Rita’s scene.”
Eli ran his pinched index finger and thumb along his mouth to indicate zipping it.
Rita continued as if there had never been an interruption. “Each of you will be driven to a different starting point and given a map. You’ll have to find marked clues along the way that will lead you to your partners. Once united, you’ll continue on together, looking for one more clue that will lead you to the finish.” She turned, giving the cameras another angle. “Oh, and I forgot to mention. Since these are your final partners, we’re done with rankings. Instead, you’ll all receive the same prize—your first overnight date. A romantic tent set up will be waiting for each couple at the end and you’ll get to spend the evening together under the stars.”
“Cut!” someone yelled. “Bring in Robert.”
Robert came over, his usual assistants following behind. They handed each of us a backpack.
“All right, we’ve got water, food, bear spray, a satellite phone, walkie-talkie—” he began to explain.
“Bear spray?” Trace squeaked.
“Just a precaution. This is a well-trafficked trail, so we don’t get a lot of them. Also, since it’s September, many have already started hibernating. I walk my dogs on these trails every day and I haven’t seen a bear yet,” Robert answered.
“What’s this for?” Eli asked, holding up a small camera attached to a vest.
“To film yourselves,” Brady piped up from behind Robert.
Trace’s eyes grew wide with horror first. “You aren’t saying we’re going out there completely alone, are you?” she asked.
“Fuck that.” Danny’s features tightened. While he was by far the most capable person on this challenge, his partner was not.
“Yeah, we aren’t doing that,” Eli insisted, his eyes flashing with concern as they met mine.
“Not completely alone,” Brady swore. “A camera operator will be waiting for you at every clue, where you’ll decide where you’re going next. But it’s too much of a hassle to have someone following you while you’re getting to each point. Also, in the past, surveys have indicated that viewers like self-filmed portions of a show. ”
“I can’t do this,” Trace murmured.
“I don’t like this either,” Arnie said as he fiddled with the strap of one of his small cameras.
“Guys, it’ll be fine,” Grant said, already strapping up. “They wouldn’t let us do anything actually dangerous. Well, unless you’re Calla. She can make any challenge into a life-threatening ordeal.”
“Hey!” I exclaimed.
“No offense.” Grant chuckled. “Plus, when was the last time we were alone other than in the confines of our rooms? Doesn’t it sound nice to be by ourselves for a little while?”
“You know we’ve been here too long when Grant starts making sense,” Rachel said. “Although he’s probably just glad he gets to spend half the challenge away from Sofia.”
“I’m right here,” Sofia said dryly. She hadn’t spoken to me at breakfast this morning, which I personally felt was an improvement in our current relationship.
Grant held up his hands. “It has nothing to do with the stunning—albeit challenging—Sofia. I’m just excited to actually be alone for once and reflect on all this.”
Arnie stared at him. “When did you get deep all of a sudden?”
Grant flashed a grin. “Ohh, I’m always deep .”
There were a few groans before Sofia lightly smacked the back of Grant’s head.
My anxiety was still present, but he did have a point. It was a beautiful day and the thought of spending it by myself wandering these trails sounded revitalizing.
“I still don’t like this. I don’t want to leave Calla,” Eli said as Shay approached the group.
“Too bad, Prince Charming. Those are the rules of the challenge,” she said, marking something on her clipboard .
“Screw that. I’m not leaving Trace out there by herself.” Danny looked like he wanted to murder someone.
“I’ll be okay,” Trace said in a shaky voice that even I didn’t buy.
“I’ll be fine too,” I added with surprising conviction.
Danny continued to argue with Shay as Eli pulled me aside. “Are you sure?” His eyes combed over my face, searching for reassurance that I’d be alright.
I feel protective over you.
His words from last night echoed through my mind. I almost melted into a puddle over how sweet his concern was.
“I’m sure.” I squeezed his arm. “It sounds kind of fun.”
“Have you been hiking before?” he asked, hopeful.
“Nope. But how hard can it be? It’s just walking.”
Eli groaned and ripped a hand through his hair. “That’s not exactly putting me at ease.”
“I promise I’ll be fine. We’ll be together at the meeting point before you know it.”
“I highly doubt that,” he said. “I have a feeling time is going to be moving very slowly until I see you again and know you’re okay.”
Feeling spontaneous, I stood on my tiptoes and planted a kiss on Eli’s mouth.
His eyes widened, but he smiled. “What was that for?”
“For worrying about me, but I promise I can do it.”
Eli’s jaw flexed, but he looked resigned. “You’re right. You can do this.”
I put my backpack on and he tightened the straps for me, making sure everything was on correctly.
“Maybe you’ll even beat me,” he joked as he shrugged on his own pack.
“Yeah, I’ll try not to get bored waiting for you at the meeting point.” I grinned up at him .
“I’m going to hug you now,” he said, but I had already stepped into his arms before the words were out of his mouth. He held me to his chest and tangled his hand in my hair, ensuring my head stayed in the crook of his neck.
“You’re going to be fine. You’re resilient, Calla.” He kissed my forehead, his lips lingering. “You’ve grown so much since you’ve been here. You’re mentally so strong. Physically, I’d appreciate it if you’d just be a little more on the careful side?—”
“Is this supposed to be a pep talk?” I interrupted.
I could feel him smiling against my forehead before he kissed it again and took a step back. “You’re going to do great.”
Twenty minutes later—mostly because that’s how long it took Shay and Trace to talk Danny down—I was in the girls’ van waiting to be dropped off at my trailhead. Rachel and Sofia had already been dropped a couple miles back.
“It’ll be fine,” I whispered to Trace, who still looked a little nervous.
She gave me a thumbs-up.
The van came to a stop and Brady shuffled Trace out. They spoke for a few minutes before we were on our way again. When we came to the next stop, Brady got out of the passenger seat and came around to open my door. I jumped out and straightened my gray fleece pullover.
“How are you feeling?” Brady asked. “Ready for the last big challenge?”
“Yep.” Even if I wasn’t ready for that, I was certainly ready to get out of this car and away from his phoniness.
“Are you nervous at all? ”
“Nope.”
Brady’s grin tightened at my clipped responses. He handed me a folded map and pointed straight ahead. “Trailhead is that way. You’ll get a signal on your walkie-talkie when it’s time to start. We’ll keep in touch via that if we need to. The GPS satellite phone is only for emergencies, but it shouldn’t be necessary.”
I nodded but didn’t say anything.
Brady sighed loudly. “You don’t need to be so short with me, you know? I’m on your side.”
“Robert already gave us these instructions.” I sounded like a brat, but I didn’t care. Brady’s sickeningly sweet, fake kindness was beyond old at this point.
He mumbled something under his breath before lifting his arms in exasperation. “Fine. Make me the bad guy. I guess that’s what I signed up for.” Brady sighed dramatically before eyeing me up and down. “You know, the first few episodes have already aired and you and Eli are the early favorites. People love Trace and Danny, and sure, Rachel and Arnie have garnered some fans, but you two will probably win it all.”
My blood froze as I thought about everyone watching me from their sofas at home. How was I being perceived? What had I said? All of the days and conversations blurred together. At this point, I couldn’t even remember.
“I see your thoughts rushing across your face.” Brady reached out to adjust the small camera affixed to my chest. I forced myself not to flinch. “Don’t worry, you’re coming across as Miss All-American. Everyone loves you. The final few days will be a breeze compared to what you’ve already been through.”
“Is that all?” I asked through gritted teeth. Whether he meant it to or not, this conversation was getting into my head. These past few days I had finally started to disassociate from the show, but Brady had just given me a stark reminder that it was very much real.
“Fine, don’t talk to me,” he said melodramatically. “Go get yourself ready. You’ll get the signal to open your map and start in a few minutes.”
With that, he left me. The door to the van slammed closed and the sound of the engine moved farther and farther away until it was just a faint hum in the distance.
Breathing in and exhaling slowly, I turned around in a circle, relishing my first time alone outside since I had arrived in this place. I was so close to freedom I could taste it. Never again would I take for granted just going for a walk around the block, or rushing to a convenience store if I wanted to grab something in the evening.
Savoring solitude didn’t last long. Noise came from my walkie-talkie almost immediately. “All right, Calla, you’re good to start.”
I opened my map in front of my chest camera like I’d been instructed to do. Glancing at it, I found a large red X that appeared to be my first stop.
I followed the path on the map to the trailhead. I was facing west, so I had to go straight ahead and then make two left turns before making a final right. Stuffing the map into my front pocket, I took off down the trail. The clouds had covered the sun completely and trees loomed over me on all sides. I couldn’t see anything beyond the thick forest as I moved swiftly down the path.
It only took me ten minutes before I spotted a cameraman in the distance. In front of him was a wooden stake with a box on top. I opened it to retrieve my next clue. This map was drawn from a different vantage point and had no indicators of where I was. I stuck my tongue out and squinted at the new, colorful map. It was covered with beautiful drawings of trees and geographical landmarks.
“Please describe what you’re thinking.” The cameraman speaking nearly caused me to jump out of my skin with surprise. He hovered right behind me.
“Right,” I stuttered. “Sorry about that.”
He gave me an ‘okay’ sign and I went back to studying the map.
“Um, I’m just trying to orient myself with the map. I can’t quite figure out where I am on here.”
I squinted at the intricate line drawing of a tree at the bottom of the map. It had a unique shape to it as it twisted toward the sky. I snapped my gaze up and pointed to a tree that I had just walked by, at the edge of the clearing where I stood.
“There, that must be this tree,” I said, pointing to the map. I traced my finger along the path before taking off for the next clue.
Clues two and three went equally effortlessly. I received a similar map each time, but with different drawing styles and vantage points. Each time, I used my surroundings to orient myself to where I was.
Clue four took me a bit longer than the others. I stood and stared at the map for fifteen minutes before I started worrying that I might have to give up. After checking everything dozens of times in the area where I’d found the clue, I decided to trek further into the trees. Sure enough, maybe twenty feet away, I came across a small steppingstone bridge over a stream that was clearly depicted on the new map. I started running for clue five after that.
Even though we were no longer playing for rankings, it was still easy to get caught up in the competitive aspect of the game. Plus, I’d be lying if I said butterflies hadn’t taken residence in my stomach at the thought of spending the night with Eli. Sure, we saw each other most nights, but this felt completely different. We were no longer dancing around the idea of becoming something. I had decided to stop denying my feelings, and now I was anxious to see where they’d lead.
I hurriedly opened clue five as soon as I got to it. Once I thought I had it figured out, I ran in the direction that I thought would bring me to Eli.
At the first fork in the trail, I checked the map before moving left. Then at the next one, I went right. I ran for about ten minutes before I realized that I should have been at the meeting point by now. When I arrived at a clearing, I decided to check the map again. That was when I realized I’d messed up. I should have gone right at the first fork, not left.
I groaned and tossed my head back in frustration.
Instead of turning around right away, however, I felt compelled to move towards the edge of the clearing. It was the first time during this whole hike that I had seen a large break in the forest. The view must be incredible.
As I approached the edge, the distant, imposing mountains came into view, stretching far into the horizon. The expansive scenery unfolded before me, leaving me breathless. The sunlight danced off the far-off peaks, revealing every detail. They seemed so close, engulfing me. In that moment I felt incredibly small.
I should turn around, but I couldn’t look away. I sank slowly to the dirt floor, not caring that dampness seeped into my pants as soon as I made contact with the ground.
All of the overwhelming events that had transpired this week crashed down on me at once. How was it possible that such a short time had passed? I didn’t even feel like the same person I’d been when I arrived. I had gone from running away scared to actually being excited about what the future might hold.
More than anything, I hoped that future would include Eli.
I could hardly believe I’d met someone who ignited something so strong inside me. I’d thought I might feel numb forever. And despite me pushing him away at every turn, he stuck by me, just hoping I’d give him a chance. He didn’t even shy away when I told him my biggest shame. About Michael.
Michael.
What would he think of me if he could see me now? Would he be happy that I wasn’t holed up at home? Would he be bitter that I was moving on when he couldn’t?
I closed my eyes tightly and pictured him. His warm smile. His kind eyes. The sweet softness of his features. The sound of his goofy laugh. The feel of him curled up behind me on the couch after a long day. The way he looked at me, a look that never changed despite watching me grow up before his eyes.
No. He would never have felt resentment toward me. I knew it in my bones. And I also knew that he knew that I loved him. No matter where our lives had been headed before that fateful moment that changed everything—that had robbed him of his future. He knew I loved him, no matter what became of us.
When I opened my eyes, the view stunned me yet again.
How had I waited this long to start living? If anything, Michael would be disappointed with me. He was frozen in time—and that was all the more reason why I couldn’t be.
A sense of immense, indescribable relief washed over me.
The sun popped through a thin layer of clouds as it descended toward the range in the distance. I sighed and basked in the warmth of the tiny few rays that made their way to me .
I felt free. Freer than I’d felt in years. For once, when I thought about what came next, anticipation flowed through me. The detachment had finally dissipated.
I sat there with my legs curled up in front of me for a while, just lost in the feeling of being alive. When the sun dipped even lower and I started to wonder how magical a sunset would be here, it occurred to me that I needed to get moving. I needed to find Eli before any darkness infiltrated the sky.
“Bye,” I whispered, not really sure if I was talking to the view, my grief, the person I had been when I got here, or someone else.
But it felt final.
Now my next chapter awaited me, and there was one part about that in particular that excited me. And I couldn’t wait to get to him.