34. Kieran #2
Well, that sounds amazing. “I would love to be a couch friend, but I don’t think I’ve done that with anyone in years,” I admit.
I think about my friends for a second, and no one comes to mind.
“My best friend works with me, so we do work near each other a lot, but we’re constantly swapping ideas and trying to solve problems that come up.
It very much feels like work, not relaxation.
” I think back to how I felt yesterday after our dates, hanging out on this couch, and I wonder if maybe JR could be that person for me.
“I think I would really love to have a couch friend.”
“Well, if the position is open, consider this my official application. I’m an excellent couch friend.
If someone invites me to hang out and do nothing, I am so there.
I don’t love being by myself, which is why I end up hanging out with my uncles so much, but one of the reasons I like living so close to them is that spending time with them doesn’t need to be a big production. ”
“That sounds really nice.” I reply, and normally I would stop there, let them continue, keep my own responses more surface level to avoid giving away too much of myself, to avoid giving people things to pick apart.
But I want to give JR more, and I know now isn’t the time to hold back, so I give in to that feeling.
“I haven’t lived with anyone since college,” I tell them.
“None of my previous relationships have ever progressed to that stage, so I’m used to having my own space.
But being that comfortable with someone, having them around without the pressure of being ‘on’ all the time, sounds exactly like what I came on this show to find. ”
“Well, you definitely don’t have to worry about performing in front of me. I’m pretty chill. And as a bonus for special friends only, I’d like to also offer more perks if you’re interested,” they say, and I’m confident the robotic tone is covering up a very flirty one.
“Go on,” I flirt back.
“I have been told I’m an excellent cuddler. As your first official couch friend, cuddling would be included whenever you’d like.”
“I’m sold, you’re hired,” I agree with a laugh.
Cuddling honestly sounds amazing. I obviously have no idea what this person looks like, but I’m picturing strong arms wrapped around me while I get to be the little spoon, and I can’t remember the last time I felt like I could really lean on someone like that, soak up their warmth and forget about my worries.
I won’t be disappointed if JR doesn’t actually fit that physical description, but the daydream is really nice.
“Hell yeah,” they say, also laughing.
“Ready for another card?” I ask.
“Ready.”
“When was the last time you surprised yourself?”
They laugh again. “Signing up for this. I’m not a big risk-taker. I like my predictable routine, but when I saw the ad, it felt like a sign.”
“I’m glad you did,” I say before I can stop myself.
“Me too or who else would you be talking to right now?” JR jokes, and I’m laughing again, picturing any of the other people I talked to yesterday. “Actually, don’t answer that. But I am glad I’m here and it’s me that you’re talking to.”
“So am I,” I reply honestly. I try to imagine my day without this date with JR to look forward to, and I wonder if I’d be ready to give up on this whole process already. “Okay, next question. What’s your love language?”
“Physical touch,” J says quickly. “If the cuddling offer didn’t make it obvious, I really do enjoy that connection.
It was something I lacked growing up, and now I really embrace it.
More than just the cuddling though. I want to hold your hand, put my arm around you, hug you daily. I just like being close.”
“I like that too,” I confirm, adding those scenarios to my daydreams about what spending time with JR might look like. “Especially when it’s consistent.” I hesitate for a moment before adding, “And it’s even better when it’s more at home than for show in public, if that makes sense.”
“You mean, like, it feels more real if it’s not for anyone else’s benefit?”
“Exactly,” I agree. I don’t know how to tell J how many times I’ve had the opposite.
A partner making sure they were seen holding my hand in public so they could be photographed with “Kieran Delaney” then barely touching me at home when the cameras and eyes were off us.
I want someone who’s the same with me in private—if not more affectionate—than they are in front of the world.
Someone who’s holding me because they want to, not because someone might be watching.
“What about you?” JR asks.
“Words of affirmation,” I admit, “but only if it’s genuine. I don’t want filler compliments or someone telling me what they think I want to hear. I want the kind of words you say because you feel them in the moment and you can’t not say them, ya know?”
“Yeah, when it’s real, you can tell.”
For the first time since we sat down, I realize I’ve completely forgotten about the cameras and layering my answers for the viewers—once again.
This is the most honest I’ve been with no way to redo the filming or the answers, and no editing power.
I notice I’m slouched into the couch, smiling, without thinking about how I look, versus my normal intentional posture.
This feels so much more like talking to someone I care about in my own living room.
It’s like it’s just me and them and nothing else, and it’s so rare for me. Almost impossible.
The fact that JR has made me so comfortable so quickly just confirms what I’ve been thinking: this feels right. Maybe they are already my couch friend, and hopefully, they’ll become more than that.
We keep pulling question cards, the conversation slipping between playful and personal.
We talk about the most ridiculous thing we’ve each ever done on a dare, the one meal we could eat every day for the rest of our lives, and what a perfect Sunday looks like.
Every answer gives me another tiny piece of them—and lets me share more of myself in ways that don’t feel forced.
By the time we’ve run through a stack of cards and a dozen tangents, I know two things: one, this was by far my favorite date yet; and two, I’m not going to be able to wait long before I talk to JR again.