27. Crystal
27
Crystal
Last night was intense, but in all of the good ways. I can’t believe Rabbie made me feel so sensual and confident. I’m usually confident when I hook up with guys because they’re always meant to be one night stands, but Rabbie made me feel confident on another level. The way his eyes roamed over my body with admiration, and his large hands couldn’t stop touching me. It was like he was worshipping me and memorising me at the same time. Don’t get me started on the back to back orgasms that sent me into oblivion. After his confession of not having sex for over a year, I was a little worried that it was going to be one of those sloppy one and done situations, but the poise and control he had was insane.
I roll over with a dull but satisfied ache between my legs and sigh. I stretch out my arm wanting to find Rabbie, but I don’t find him. I know he’s probably downstairs baking his scones. I roll back over to the nightstand on my side to check my phone when I find a cup of coffee and a little note with scribble handwriting.
‘I didn’t want to leave you this morning, but someone has to bake these bloody scones. R. x.
P.S. You look beautiful naked in my bed.’’
I smile to myself because it’s nice waking up knowing that it was probably torture for him to get out of bed. I can’t stop smiling at my note, and at the large cup of coffee on the nightstand. The coffee is still warm so he can’t have been gone for long. I sit up and take a sip of the deliciously warm coffee when the fluffball jumps up on the bottom of the bed. Seriously, the damn cat won’t leave me alone. I’m about to shoo her away when she looks at me differently this time. She blinks slowly at me and rubs her head against my foot. Edie starts pawing and purring at my feet. I watch her as she turns around a few times like cats do and slowly curls up at my feet. I can’t believe it, but I think this damn furball is growing on me. I admire her determination, even though I’ve not been the nicest to her. She falls asleep whilst I sip my coffee in bed, enjoying the soft sound of waves coming from the nearby ocean. I read Rabbie’s note over and over again, admiring his neat handwriting.
Thoughts of last night, and of the last couple of months come to the forefront of my mind. How wonderfully kind and caring Rabbie has been to me. He’s also been a fool, but he’s made up for that in just a short couple of days.
My chest suddenly feels heavy and I lean my head back against the headboard. How did I end up here? The girl who only wanted casual and nothing more. The girl who hated small towns and wanted to run as far away as possible. Rabbie happened. When I first met him all I wanted was to rip his clothes off and add him to my list of one night stands, but then I got to know him. And now I feel ashamed that I ever thought of him as just a quick fuck. He’s so much more than that, and I’m nervous to tell him that I’ve finished the website. What does that mean for us? We’ve only just started whatever this is between us, and now I don’t have a reason to stay. I’ve been stalling this website for weeks, if I wanted I could’ve finished it sooner but I was keen to see where I could get with Rabbie.
I distract myself by getting ready for the day but the thought of returning to Boston is looming at the back of my mind. The anxiety is consuming and the only person who makes me feel less anxious is downstairs. I grab my things for the day and find myself hurriedly rushing down the stairs, eager to see Rabbie.
I hear his cheesy pop music playing through his speaker before I see him. I creep down the last two stairs so he doesn’t hear me. He’s working away making his orders, the smell of butter and sugar is in the air.
Like usual he’s focused on his work and hasn’t noticed me standing at the bottom of the stairs. He’s got a soft smile on his face as he hums to the music. I love watching him do the thing he loves the most. This kitchen is his safe space, it’s clear to see that he’s the happiest when he’s in here. Flour covers his forearms and he has a little bit on his beautiful face. I study him, it’s strange how I’ve gotten so used to this, that I can’t remember a time before this. I don’t want to go back to Boston, but I’m terrified to really allow myself to think that there could be something between me and Rabbie. Our views on relationships aren’t exactly healthy, and I don’t want to scare him if I tell him that I don’t want to go back to Boston.
Hell, I never thought I would be here. I’m freaking myself out. My anxious thoughts are dashed when his green eyes meet mine, and a large smile spreads across his face. He places the bowl down on the kitchen island and walks over to me.
“Good morning,” he smiles as he runs a hand through his hair.
“Morning, thank you for my coffee,” I let out a heady breath.
“You’re welcome. I really wanted to stay in bed with you,” he admits. He runs his large flour cover hand over my shoulder and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.
I can’t seem to think straight when he’s looking down at me like that. A smirk forms on his lips and I think he’s enjoying seeing the roles reversed.
“How’d you sleep?” I ask, trying to break the tension between us.
He bites down on his lips, and looks at me with a cheeky grin.
“Och, I slept like a king. I had some smoking hot redhead grinding her perfect arse into me, was heaven,” he winks at me.
I fight back a laugh that is forcing its way out. “Aren’t you a lucky man,” I banter with him.
“The luckiest,” he smiles.
The song over the speaker changes to Cruel summer, and I’m brought back to the day I took pictures of him. He looks down at me with a playful look, and before I can think he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in close to him. He sways with me in his arms, whilst he hums softly in my ear. I’m flush to his muscular body, and moments from last night flash back and I can’t help but think how perfect we fight together.
“You listen to this song too much,” I tease him.
“It’s my favourite song, it reminds me of you. The day you took pictures of me, you reaching into my pocket. Fuck I was nervous to have you that close to me.”
His admission sends my thoughts reeling. He kisses me softly on the lips as we sway to the music, and he hums along to the song. I allow myself to lean in closer to him, his head rests on top of my head. We slowly sway out of beat to the pop song, we’re so lost in each other that we don’t notice Nellie and David standing at the back door. Nellie softly clears her throat to politely interrupt our moment, she has a warm smile on her face as she looks at us. David looks gobsmacked to see us dancing together like this so early in the morning.
Rabbie squeezes me before he lets go of me, breaking our embrace. I can feel my cheeks flush as the twins take us in. David gives Rabbie a cheeky wink, that Rabbie quickly rolls his eyes at.
“Good morning,” Nellie greets us both with a wide grin.
“Morning, Nell. Morning David,” Rabbie greets them.
I can only manage a sheepish smile. I feel a little embarrassed that they caught us in an intimate moment. I don’t know why but when it comes to Rabbie I want to keep things private, I know he’s been the talk of the town lately with his mom showing up. I don’t care that people know we could potentially be dating, but I want to keep our intimate moments between us. I want to keep them safe, keep him safe.
The twins rush about with their morning tasks before the cafe opens, and I find myself needing to rush off to my table to figure out how I’m going to tell Rabbie that I’ve finished the website.
He looks down at me and a look of concern spreads across his face. I try to hide my worry by smiling at him, but he’s right. He’s good at reading my face.
“Everything okay?” He asks, with a hint of hesitation in voice.
I can tell he’s probably thinking the worst, and I place my hand on his chest. I can feel his heart beating fast under my palm. I need to reassure him that it’s not what he thinks, and I know what he’s thinking, that I’m regretting us. Him.
“Everything is perfect,” I stand on my toes to kiss him.
He melts around me, and I’m glad he believes me when I tell him.
“Let’s have lunch together, if you get a chance to have a break. We need to talk business,” I wink at him. I’m trying to make it sound less scary, he freezes but relaxes when he sees my face teasing him.
“Aye, okay.” He kisses me on the top of my head.
“Umm, Rabbie?”
“Mhm?”
“You have to let go of me, if we’re going to get any work done around here,” I laugh into his chest.
He takes a deep breath and gives me one last squeeze before letting me go. He steps back with a soft smile on his face, and returns to his work. I make my way out the front of the cafe and take my seat at my usual table. I try to clear my head, and come up with the best way possible to tell Rabbie that I’ve finished his website.
I busy myself most of the morning, and add all the final touches to Sweet Treats’ new website to make sure everything is perfect to show Rabbie. He deserves the best after all the hard work he puts into his business.
The morning flies by, and before I know it, it’s lunchtime. I look up from my laptop to see Rabbie making his way towards me with a tray of sandwiches and coffee. How did I get so lucky to meet someone as selfless and thoughtful as him? His face lights up when I watch him wander over to me, he places the tray on the table. He leans down and gives me a kiss, before taking the seat across from me. I froze in my seat, I wasn’t expecting him to be so public about us. I can hear of a few whispers from the locals coming from behind him.
“How was your morning?” He asks, nonchalantly.
I look around at the whole cafe staring at us with beaming smiles across their faces, and I’m waiting for them to cast their judgement but it doesn’t come. I focus back on Rabbie who is holding out a plate with a sandwich on it. I take it from him, our gaze lingering for a while. He doesn’t seem phased by most of the cafe watching us.
“Good, how was yours?”
“It dragged a little, I’ve been watching the clock since you walked out the kitchen this morning,” he smiles at me as he takes a bite of his sandwich.
His admission has me feeling giddy, and I try to play it cool and not at all that I was feeling the same way. We sit and eat our sandwiches, enjoying each other’s company. I’m internally freaking out about how I’m going to approach the conversation about the website. As if he can read my mind, he beats me to it.
“So, what was the subject of business you needed to discuss?”
I shove the last bit of sandwich in my mouth trying to stall. He watches me intently waiting for me. I shift in my seat, and take a deep breath. His eyes grow concerned, and I’ve learnt with Rabbie that I just need to talk to him. I hate seeing the panic in his eyes whenever he thinks the worst. I know we will work at this together in a way that we know how. I wish I could ask him to come to Tennessee with me, but I know he has his obligations here.
“I–umm. I’ve finished the website,” I say quietly.
He looks at me with his head cocked to the side, and I can’t read his facial expression. He doesn’t say anything.
“You just need to finalise it, and then it’s ready to go live.”
I try to paint a smile on my face, and show him that I’m happy for him when really I’m crumbling on the inside.
“And you’re sad about this?” He raises an eyebrow at me. “You should be proud of the website, it’s beautiful. You literally took what I pictured in my head and brought it to life.” He praises me.
Clearly my smile didn’t convince him.
“You should have a launch party, it will be good for business,” I add, ignoring his question. I sound robotic and very business-like.
“Aye, okay,” he frowns at me, and I hate it when he looks at me like that.
“My job here is done,” I barely get out before he grabs my hand from across the table.
I feel tears prickle my eyes, and I try to blink them away. I can’t bring myself to look at Rabbie.
“Mo beag, look at me,” he whispers.
I finally muster the courage to look at him, a tear falls free from my eye and down my cheek. I don’t care that I’m crying in the middle of the cafe with people around and in front of the man who has slowly become my favourite person. I didn’t think I would react this way, but this is Rabbie. We’ve practically spent every waking moment together for the last couple of months. I can’t picture myself leaving just yet. It feels like we’re just getting started. He leans over the table and brushes the tear from my cheek.
“Why are you crying? I thought you’d be happy that it’s finished.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m going to leave you, because I don’t want to. But my job here is finished, I said I would return to Boston when I was done with the website.”
Another tear escapes my eye, and he’s there to catch it.
“Sorry,” I choke out.
He must be so embarrassed that I’m crying in his cafe in front of all his customers. I try to pull myself together. I take a quick look around the cafe expecting to see prying eyes, but it seems people are giving us a private moment for once.
“Dinny fash. Anyways, I thought it was a given you were staying until you had to go back to Tennessee for Christmas. Sorry I should’ve made myself clear,” he lifts my hand and kisses it.
“Plus, now I need your help planning a launch party.”
I let out a shaky laugh, and I must look really crazy to him and everyone in the cafe. I’ve gone from crying to laughing in a matter of seconds. This man has got my emotions all over the place.
“Aren’t you sure of yourself, and how are you not freaking out about this?”
He looks at me dead in the eyes, and his large green eyes twinkle.
“Because, you’ve shown up for me, had my back, and proved to me that you’d never intentionally hurt me. Don’t get me wrong I used to freak out around you, but that was before this happened,” he gestures between us. “It’s hard to explain, you just get me. I’ve felt so out of place my whole life, but with you I feel less out of place,” he shrugs with a large grin on his face.
Tears begin to flood my eyes again, and I have to fan my face to stop the tears from overflowing. This man is unlike any other I’ve met. He’s so patient and understanding, I find myself in complete awe of him. He offers me a soft smile, and I let out a huge sigh of relief.
“When did the roles reverse?” I joke.
A low chuckle rumbles in his chest and he laughs as he leans back in his chair. He’s wearing a smug grin on his face now, he folds his bulging arms across his chest.
“What’s so funny?” I raise an eyebrow at him.
“It’s cute seeing you like this. And I’m shocked to see that Crossmackie has grown on you so much that you want to stay,” he teases.
“You’re the reason I want to stay. Crossmackie is okay.”
He laughs at my comment in an unbelieving way.
I try not to roll my eyes at him, but he’s right. This silly little town has grown on me. I’ve felt at home for a while and I’ve been trying to deny it. The thought of leaving Rabbie was unbearable, but a small crack was forming in my heart at the thought of leaving Crossmackie and the wonderful people who live here.
“Fine. Maybe Crossmackie isn’t so bad after all.”
Rabbie claps his hands together as he tilts his head back and laughs out loud.
“I think this is cause for celebration. And don’t worry we’ll talk about how much I’ll pay you later.” he jumps up from his chair.
I don’t say anything, but I’m not accepting a penny from him. I want this to be a gift. And he’s been beyond kind to me with letting me stay with him and feeding me at every waking moment. I won’t accept any money from him.
He grabs me by the hands and pulls me up from my chair and into his arms. He squeezes me tight, and kisses the top of my head.
“Come on, let’s close up and go for a celebratory drink at the pub. We need to tell the guys the good news,” he says with excitement.