Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
JAMES
The ride is quiet. Not awkward. Just quiet. Comfortable. Peaceful.
My mind is reeling, heart racing beneath my skin and my chest rises and falls a little quicker. He knows how to rile me up, how to get my blood thumping around my body like burning lava.
He dangles the bait in front of me, but I never take it.
It's poison.
I know better.
But it doesn't mean I don't want a taste, because I do.
Desperately, actually.
I lose myself in thoughts, replaying what happened in my head, taking it a little further each time I go back to the start, but we never quite make it beneath the sheets and as much as I want to be twisted up in them, I know it'll never be more than what it is.
A business deal.
Married to help him cross some kind of line.
I still don't quite know why he wanted me to marry him but I was so desperate, and well, pretty damn broke, that I snapped at the chance of having him look into Secure Corp without me having to pay him.
Desperate times, desperate measures and all that.
The tyres crunch across the gravelled parking lot, and my stomach knots, my breath quivers on my exhale.
“You okay?” his face creasing, brows pinching.
“Yeah,” I plaster on a smile. I am okay, just feeling a little apprehensive maybe. I glance down at my left hand, wedding ring catching the light of the parking lot lights.
“Okay,” he smiles, forehead no longer creased. He climbs out his car and moves around to my side, opening my door and taking my hand.
My heels move slightly under the gravel but I style it out and I am so grateful that Nate is holding me up.
“You looking forward to tonight?” I ask, my hand tightening around his and he stays close to me.
“Yeah, I feel like it’s been ages that we have spent proper time together,” he sighs, “but whenever we're together, it's like we've never been apart. It's weird. They're the family I never had. They'll always be there for me, wherever we end up,” and his comments have me looking at him, side on. Eyes are a little narrowed as he looks at the restaurant in front of him, panelled in white slats, slanted gray roof and large windows overlooking the calm sea. The moon's reflection bouncing off the dark water, stars twinkling above and a large, decked area with patio heaters and fairy lights. The evening is warm, summer is just around the corner and the patio heaters are more for the ambience than the heat.
“You'll always be near each other,” I try and reassure him, not sure if it helps but I try. He finally looks at me and I feel the ground shift beneath my feet as he slows me down and pulls me into him.
“I know, baby,” he smirks, leaning in and placing a soft and lingering kiss on my forehead. My hands are pressed against his chest, the feel of his heart drumming beneath my fingertips, and with each second that passes, it beats a little harder, a little quicker. His chest rises as in inhales, as if breathing in my scent. His lips break away and I miss them in an instant. Tipping my face back to look up at him, his hand slowly comes to my cheek, cupping my face in his palm and I find myself leaning into him. The salt air from the sea breezing across our skin, the soft sounds of the waves crashing against the cove and I never want to walk away from this moment. His eyes are burning into mine as if he can read my every thought, my eyes glistening as I lose myself in his beautiful, deep eyes. He really is beautiful.
I wonder if he could tell that I was falling into this headfirst with no care in the world? Wonder if he knows that I am terrified that when this arrangement ends I am going to lose myself and who I am? Wonder if he knows that I don't want to do my dreams without him by my side... but I need to come to terms with the fact that it'll never be the way I want.
The chemistry is there, I can feel it, like two magnets in a force field. We're slowly being pulled together, and it doesn't matter how much we try and pull away, we can't stop it from happening, even if we wanted to. It was a force to be reckoned with. We would be amazing together, maybe too amazing. But deep down in the crevices of my heart I am worried we would destroy each other in a way neither of us would recover from.
We're different.
Too different.
But we will never know.
“Oi, lovebirds,” the rumble of a low and deep voice ruins the moment and after a beat, Nate's hand slips from my face and my skin tingles, my heart aching at the loss of his skin on mine.
I blink a couple of times, lips parting to say something but I have no words. Stepping back, I turn and look at Titus and his wife, Amora, walking towards us, a red-haired little girl in a stroller and an older couple behind them. The woman has deep fiery hair, similar color to mine and Amora's. Pale skinned and ice blue eyes. Beautiful. The man is blond, tall, and I notice Amora has the same color eyes as his, one ice blue, one dark brown. A scar is prominent on his face, his eyes narrow on the back of Titus' head before they slice across to Nate. His hand is firmly wrapped around the lady next to him and I don't need to be told that they're Amora's parents.
“Nate; James,” Titus greets his friend, placing his hand over Nate's as they shake hands. He drops it and moves across to me, a soft kiss on my cheek before Nate is kissing Amora hello and talking to the little girl in the stroller, she looks slightly older than the twins.
Amora wraps her arms around me and greets me before they step aside for her parents.
The lady gives Nate a knowing nod and I watch as he steps forward, but before he can even get close, the man with the different eyes blocks him, pushing his hand to his chest and shaking his head from side to side, jaw wound tight.
“Back off,” he grits and I don't miss his strong British accent.
Nate rolls his eyes and looks at Titus but before Titus can even open his mouth, the blond haired man clears his throat.
“Are you not going to introduce us, Titty. ” My eyes widen in confusion but then I see the way Titus reacts by standing a little taller and swallowing so hard that his throat bobs.
“James,” he smiles at me, a glint of playfulness dances in his eyes. “This is my mother and father-in-law, Royal and Xavier...” he trails off as he turns to look at Xavier and Royal. “Archibalds, this is James.”
Nate rolls his eyes and sighs.
Titus groans and scrubs his face.
“Nate's wife,” he finally says and Xavier's face lights up.
“Well, I never...” he clasps his hands together, rubbing them as he steps towards me, eyes giving me the once over as if he was inspecting me. “James,” he tests my name out on his tongue and smiles at the way it sounds. “How much did he pay you?” and my brows dig down, my eyes bouncing over to Nate and he gives a look that tells me no one knows of our arrangement.
I laugh softly, humouring him.
“No payment necessary, it was love at first sight,” and I hold my hand out to Nate who takes it gladly and my heart swells in my chest.
“Well, he is a very lucky man,” he leans in and places a quick kiss on my cheek before grabbing his wife’s hand and leading her forward.
“James, this is my wife, Royal.”
“It's a pleasure to meet you,” she kisses me on each cheek, both hands on the top of my arms before she is moving towards Nate. “You're punching,” she gives him a coy smile and flashes him a wink before they embrace each other and greet one another with a kiss on the cheek.
“Hands off,” Xavier grunts and I roll my lips, my eyes skating to Amora who looks utterly embarrassed by her father’s behaviour.
I give her a little shrug of the shoulder and a lopsided smirk and she meets it with a soft smile. I step forward as Nate falls into easy conversation with Royal and Xavier.
“She is adorable,” I say, gesturing to the child in Amora’s arms, her curly red hair wild, ice blue eyes like her dad's. She was so beautiful.
“Thank you,” Amora looks down at her daughter and I can see the love that consumes her with just the way she looks at her.
“What's her name?”
“Twyla,” Amora blinks up at me and she can clearly see me trying to work it out. “It means twilight ,” she kisses the top of her tot’s head who is clung to her side, Titus leaning on the handles of the stroller. “Titus—” she rolls her head around to look at her husband who catches her gaze, “used to call me Twilight, and well, it just felt right,” she leans into him and he scoops his arm around her pulling her close to him before his lips graze against her head.
“That's enough Titty, stop manhandling my daughter,” Xavier rolls his eyes and throws his arm up in the air with a firm shake of his head, but not before making a loud tutting noise as he begins to walk towards the restaurant.
Royal turns to look at us and gives a strong roll of the eyes and Amora laughs before her mom walks off to follow her husband.
“Is he always like that?” I find myself asking as I watch them, the way he stops and waits for her. I watch as he holds his hand out for her to take which she does gladly, fingers intwining. I watch as he pulls her close and kisses the side of her head before mumbling something in her ear and making her laugh echo around the quiet parking lot.
“Always,” Nate, Titus and Amora all say in unison before laughing.
“They seem happy.”
“They are,” Amora sighs.
We all stand and watch as they disappear inside the double doors to the restaurant when I feel Nate's fingers intwine with mine. I look up at him, eyes all hazy as I just take in this moment.
“Shall we?” he asks me softly and I dip my chin, a smile teasing the corner of my lips.
“Let's,” my voice is quiet, his fingers tighten through mine as we walk side by side into the restaurant, and all anxiety and nerves that were once wound tightly deep inside me slowly begin to uncoil with each step we take.
Nate spots Kaleb and Connie in the conservatory part of the restaurant as he stands and waves us over. The ma?tre de looking between us all as Titus leaves him the stroller and gives him a firm pat on the breast of his suit jacket.
I keep my head down and follow Nate's lead as we get into the large, open space.
“Kaleb,” Nate greets his friend and reluctantly drops my hand and I hate it.
“Nate,” Kaleb chimes before his sights are set on me. “Ah, the mysterious but alluring James,” he gives me a boyish grin and I blush at his words and Connie rolls her eyes before smirking at me.
“I swear when we met he wasn't as cheesy,” her smile grows as she stands and places a kiss on her fiancé’s cheek before he embraces me and she pulls me into a friendly cuddle, enveloping me. Slipping apart, I tilt my head as Nate ushers me along to the empty chairs and I watch as Titus and Kaleb greet each other then join us down the end of the table.
“Are we early?” Nate smirks at a missing Killian, Reese, Keaton and Arizona.
“Nope, the others are just late,” he says nonchalant and raises his hand to get the waiter’s attention.
“Sir?” the older waiter addresses Kaleb and waits for him to continue speaking.
“Can we get some drinks before the rest of our guests arrive?”
He nods, “Certainly,” his voice like silk as he pulls his tablet out and begins to scroll.
“Just put it all on the same tab,” Kaleb nods and I look down the table and look at the happy couple to be. Connie is cuddled into Kaleb, wearing a black, thin strapped dress, her long brown hair straight, gold hoops sit through her ears, a matching gold necklace drapes across her neck with Connie written in cursive writing. Simple but beautiful. Kaleb wears a white shirt with a black dinner jacket and matching pants. If they look this good for the rehearsal dinner, I can't wait to see how they both look on Sunday when they wed.
I have been so consumed in my thoughts that Nate's hand squeezes over my thigh to draw my attention back to the room.
“Yeah?” I blink at him and all eyes are on me.
“What would you like to drink?” he asks me, the waiter waiting patiently on me.
“What are you having?” I eye Amora then drift to Royal and finally settle on Connie.
“We're sharing a bottle of white wine; did you want some?”
I nod, white wine is simple, then after dinner I will move onto something else. “If that's okay?” my voice is soft, and I always feel a little uneasy when I am sharing with people I have just met. I never know if they're just asking me out of politeness or whether it is actually kindness.
“Make it two bottles,” Royal smiles up at the waiter and he mumbles something to her before he turns and walks away.
“You okay?” Nate leans into me and whispers against the shell of my ear.
“Mmhm,” I hum but I can tell he isn't convinced.
It's not that I am not okay.
I just feel a little overwhelmed.
Kind of wish Brooke and Heidi were here.
I know they can't be.
But I am the new girl. The mysterious wife of their friend. It’s bound to make me feel a little uneasy.
They have never once made me feel like an outsider, that is all on me, I planted the seed in my own head but I know that these feelings will soon settle and I’ll slot right in beside them all like I have always been here… until I am not. Until we walk away from each other and I lose them all.
“Wanna talk about it?” he lowers his lips to my ear as he leans into me, the warmth of his breath scattering goosebumps across my sensitive skin.
I chew over his words for a moment, pulling my bottom lip in by my teeth and chewing on the inside.
“Honestly, I am okay,” I give him a warm smile and I know he doesn't buy it, but I don't want to make it a bigger deal then it needs to be. There is actually nothing wrong, I am just feeling like the new kid on the block. The girls are kind, and I don't get bad vibes off any of them, plus I know Arizona on a work level, and I have Nate.
Nate is the most important.
“Okay,” he presses his lips to the side of my head and hums against my hair.
We're not left alone with our thoughts for long, because a wine glass has been placed in front of me and there is a shuffle around going on. Amora and Royal move down my end of the table, Titus and Xavier stay up there with Kaleb, and after a moment or two, Connie moves down to sit with us too.
“Will you be okay if I move up there with the guys? Let you ladies have some alone time?”
I swallow, my throat bobbing. Nerves pricking at the base of my neck.
“Of course,” my eyes narrow slightly on his, they’re bouncing between mine as if he is searching for something to give him a reason to stay. I drop my eyes into my lap and play with the buckle on my purse, avoiding eye contact, because if he sees the way they shift, he won't leave my side.
He hangs back for a moment, and I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head but I reluctantly lift them and focus on the girls in front of me. Only when I hear his chair scrape on the wooded floor do I know he is getting ready to move, but not before he lowers his lips to the top of my head and lingers for a moment longer.
“Look how in love with you he is,” Amora sighs as her eyes follow Nate to the end of the table where Titus bounces a sweet Twyla on his knee.
I want to respond saying that he isn't, but I don't.
Nobody knows about our arrangement, and I am sure Nate wants to keep it that way.
I just smile like a love-sick teen.
“Makes you sick doesn't it,” Connie snipes in and gives me a playful wink.
“Stop it,” I shake my head from side to side and let my head drop for a moment before I hear the sound of wine filling my glass. My sights cast up and I see Royal reaching over to Amora and Connie's glass, filling them halfway before she is sitting back down.
“Thank you,” I mutter, “and Kaleb looks at you with such adoration, you both are really the perfect couple.”
“We are,” she lets her eyes trail up to her husband-to-be whose sight haven't left her and she smiles, head tilting to the side. “Aren't we?”
And my heart flutters in my chest.
“How did you meet?” I ask. I know the story, Nate told us over dinner with the girls but still, I wanted to hear it from her lips.
“Oh boy,” Amora giggles as she takes a mouthful of her wine and sits back.
“I was on the run... kind of, you know, run away with the band and all that jazz,” she smirks, her long, skinny fingers wrapping around the stem of her wine glass as she pulls it across the table so it's in front of her. “My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend,” she pauses for a moment, and I watch as she inhales deeply as if preparing herself for the words that are about to leave her lips, “he was in a band, Chord .”
“Oh yeah, I loved them before...” and I pause, eyes widening and my heart thumps in my chest.
“Yeah,” her smile is sad, not reaching her eyes even if she tried and my heart aches deep inside my chest.
“I'm so sorry Connie,” I whisper and I feel my throat thicken.
“It's okay, he had demons...” she nods, and I watch as she wipes the stray tear away. “But back to the question in hand,” she chokes on a laugh, “my dad sent Kaleb to watch over me, make sure I was safe. I had a lot going on. I wasn't in the right head space, cut myself off from everyone and everything. Then he showed up one night and just at the right time... and well, after one night...”
“The rest is history,” the sound of his shoes gliding across the wooden floor, his deep, raspy voice breezes across the table and Connie smiles, eyes all dreamy as she looks up at him and he leans across her, kissing her softly on the lips, fingers curled around her shoulder.
“I love you, Mr Mills,” she smiles against his lips as he kisses her again and he smirks against hers when a loud clearing of someone’s throat fills the space.
“Ah, my father-in-law,” he rolls himself up and twists, looking over at Killian and Reese, and beside them is a little girl, I would put her around three, maybe four. Long, blonde hair that sits just past her shoulders with a cream bow clipping her hair away from her face, wide ocean colored eyes. She is wearing light denim dungarees, a cream peter pan collared tee and her little arms cling to a light pink fluffy bunny.
“Hey dad,” Connie pushes from the table and greets him, then moves over to Reese, embracing her before she swoops a smiling little girl into her arms. “How is princess Celeste?”
Cute.
“Good,” her sweet, soft, little voice floats through the room and everyone coos and ahhs.
Connie kisses her forehead before letting her back down and she runs to her dad, hiding behind his legs and Killian's large hand cups behind her head as he laughs softly.
And I know it's because of me.
She has caught my attention and gone shy.
I swallow before slipping out of my seat and walking cautiously over to where she clings onto her dad. Crouching down so I am at her level, her head moves to the side slightly, and her eyes widen as she takes me in.
“Hey Celeste, or is it princess Celeste?” my voice is soft as I smile at her, head tilting to the side slightly.
She says nothing and I watch as Killian's hand lifts.
“And I love your bunny, does she have a name?” I want her to know that I am not to be scared of. But I get it, I am a stranger.
Her ocean eyes drop to her bunny before they're back on me and she holds it out, pushing it past her dad’s leg for me to see.
“She's so cute—” and I am cut off because she speaks, telling me, “Her name is Floppy.”
“Ah, Floppy. Floppy the bunny.”
And she smiles, finally stepping out from behind her dad.
“She's my favorite,” her cute voice makes me smile and my ovaries combust.
“I bet you're her favorite too.” She nods lightly, cuddling her bunny into her cheek and squeezing her really tightly. “I'm James by the way, I am married to Nate.”
She blinks, looking over at Nate then back to me.
“Uncle Nate?” her little brows furrow, her lips pulling into a smile.
“Yup, Uncle Nate.”
I cannot believe how well she speaks, her words are clear and I feel strange having a conversation with a toddler.
“Auntie?” her smile drops for a moment, and I can see she is trying to work it all out in her head before she lifts her head to look at her dad and he gives her a soft nod.
“If you want me to be?” I leave the question open, I mean, I know technically I am not but she calls him Uncle Nate and if it makes it a little easier for her to understand then I am happy with that.
“Auntie James,” she beams before she runs towards Nate, and he scoops her up onto his lap and I can see her lips moving but the chatter is too loud amongst us to work out what she is saying to him.
“You're a hit,” Reese's British accent pulls my gaze from my husband, and I stand as delicately as I can without flashing the room.
“Thanks, it's my job, kind of have to be,” I smirk, dragging my gaze back over to Nate and Celeste and my heart thumps a little harder in my chest.
“May have to steal you away from Keaton and Arizona,” she says it a little louder and I am confused to as why but then I hear the commotion coming from behind me. Connie turns and faces Reese, crossing her arms across her chest, a pouty scowl on her face.
“Hey! I am her nanny.”
Reese laughs. “Jeeeez, I am kidding,” she rolls her eyes and then gives me a soft wink.
Royal calls Reese over, pulling the spare chair out for her which she takes gladly and Killian wanders up towards where Nate is, taking a seat next to him and his daughter. Celeste climbs onto his lap, fingers clung onto her bunny’s ear as her hands place either side of her dad’s cheeks, his lips pressed together in a full pout and I laugh softly. As I go to turn, Nate catches my gaze, hooking me in. He looks different, eyes a little hazy and maybe it's the two beers he has had, but he looks at me with a newfound adoration. I think. Or he could just be tipsy. But whatever it is, it makes my heart beat a little faster, my stomach flipping and twisting before releasing a locked cage of butterflies.
I walk back to my seat, and I look at the empty chair beside me, and hope that Arizona fills it.
Reese swoops the bottle of wine up for herself and tops her glass up before hovering it over everyone else but we all politely decline. I needed some food inside of me and quick because I am starving, and I don't want to make an idiot of myself if I get too drunk too quick.
Reese begins to talk about work and the stress she is going through with one of her clients, but the conversation soon stops when we all hear the squeal of the twins, Arizona comes running into the room looking flustered and Seb and Smith spot me instantly.
“JaJa!” their excited voices call in unison, getting louder as they toddle over to where I am. I push out from the table and just as they reach me, I swing my arms open as they both snuggle into my chest.
“Hey, my favorite boys,” I place a kiss on both of their heads and they both start talking about dinosaurs and planes and I just nod animatedly, eyes moving between the both of them as they continue.
Arizona greets everyone and makes her way over to me, high waisted jeans, V-neck dipped bodysuit that stops at her navel and her caramel skin on show. Natural curls sit on her shoulders and her ice blue eyes glisten as she looks at me.
“Please tell me you're back soon,” and I hear the plea in her voice, and I stand to meet her gaze, a small laugh escaping as the boys start running around the table and I wince when they skim the corners.
I reach my hand forward, resting it on her shoulder and my lips tug at the corners.
“I'll be back soon,” and I watch the way her shoulders sag, relief swarming her face and I feel bad that I haven't been there as much as I should.
I think Nate had a part in me not being there, and between Keaton taking holiday and the way Ari's schedule worked, they didn't need me as much as they used too.
“Thank God,” she laughs and swipes the nearly empty bottle of wine from the table and swigs from the bottle before collapsing in what was my chair so I settle beside her. “Because I’m not going to lie, your girl is tired. Between work and these little rockets, well...” she half laughs, half sighs as she watches the boys still running around the table.
“Have they napped?” I ask, sitting next to her.
“Nope, thought I would try and hold them out. Their stroller is in the buggy park.”
I reach down by my feet and grab my purse and slip my phone out to look at the time.
It's just past seven and I know their bedtimes is coming soon.
“They will crash soon,” I lean into her, and she laughs.
“I hope so.”
The waiter walks into the room, his eyes widening as he steps back because he sees the twins running around, Smith stops for a moment and dives down into the backpack to get out a toy dinosaur before he is back to chasing his brother.
“Just another round, keep them coming,” Kaleb shouts over the noise. Celeste looks down her nose at the twins before turning her face away from them, Twyla still sits on her dad's lap but seems to be a little more aware of what is going on. Eyes wild with glee, lips turned into a smile as she watches the boys.
Arizona pinches her necklace, her eyes constantly on the twins and my heart aches a little. I know she lost her girl twins before having Seb and Smith and I can’t imagine how she is feeling. Keaton glances over at her, waiting for her to meet his gaze and she does, her fingers slowly fall from her pendant. It's like they have a conversation between themselves that no one else can hear. She gives him a nod, he returns it and then stands, swooping the twins up and putting them in a highchair before loading them with snacks and their tablets.
I see the worry on Ari's face at the judgement she may get for supplying her kids a tablet, but as she looks slowly around the table, she notices that Celeste is on hers, snuggled against Killian and Twyla is watching some colorful cartoon whilst twiddling her finger in a loose red curl.
“I am going to get her stroller,” Amora says softly as she stands, and Reese is up as well.
“Good idea,” Reese says as they both wander off and down towards the front of the restaurant.
“Do you want kids?” Connie's voice dusts across the table and I drag my eyes from where Reese and Amora disappeared and blink a few times, replaying her question in my head.
“Erm,” I run my finger around the rim of the glass, my eyes cast across to Nate before they're back on Connie. “I'm not sure, I mean, I love kids, but I'm not sure if I want them... not yet anyway. I have so many dreams that I want to live out first... and I know that sounds totally selfish.”
“Oh my God, no it doesn't,” Connie shakes her head and takes a sip of wine. “I feel exactly the same,” she sighs, looking at Kaleb, “but let’s be honest, with my old man over there...” her lips pull into a smirk, “I have no idea if by the time I am ready, if it'll be too late,” and I watch as the smirk slips off her lips, sadness coating her eyes for just a moment.
“You have to make sure it's what you both want,” Arizona slips into the conversation. “Honestly, if my angel twins didn't happen, I wouldn't have wanted a baby just yet. What with work and what I wanted to achieve...”
I nod and Royal tilts her head to the side, in some kind of understanding but she keeps quiet and just listens.
Amora and Reese walk back into the private area, and I watch intently as they mother their children, making them comfortable and laying them into their strollers.
It's not long before Amora sits back down opposite, Reese taking a spot next to Connie.
“What were you talking about?” Amora asks, looking between us all.
“Kids,” I pipe up, dragging my wine glass closer to me.
“What about them?” Reese asks as she looks across the room for the waiter then frowns when he is nowhere to be seen.
“Connie asked if I wanted them,” I shrug a shoulder up and find myself scanning the room for the same waiter.
“And?”
“I said not at the moment... I wanted to be selfish for a little bit longer,” I smile and my heart races in my chest.
“Totally get it,” Arizona nods, a little too eagerly.
“Twyla was a surprise,” Amora blushes and averts her gaze from her mom's. “I was engaged to marry someone else, but I was already pregnant with Titus' baby.”
“La la la,” Arizona covers her ears and closes her eyes and we all laugh. Can’t expect it’s nice hearing it about her dad.
“Really?” I lean in closer, loving that I am getting a little snippet of all of their stories.
She nods, licking her top lip of the wine that trails across it.
“Reckless of me, but I knew Titus was who I was meant to be with... not that my dad was overly impressed when Titus—who was my bodyguard at the time and meant to stay five steps behind, always—called him up to tell him that he had got his daughter pregnant. So not only was he hit with the realisation that his daughter had in fact...” she pauses for a moment and leans herself further into the table, “been intimate with a man, but she was also pregnant.”
And my eyes widen.
“I bet he was horrified.”
“Oh, he was,” Royal chirps in. “I thought I had heard all of the swear words, but Xavi let out a few more colorful words that definitely brightened his vocabulary.” She raises a brow, lips twitching.
“I would have loved to be a fly on the wall,” Connie chuckles, shaking her head side to side before draining her glass.
Reese rolls her eyes then they widen on the empty bottles.
“I need food,” she groans.
“I need more drink,” Connie sighs.
“When is the rehearsal dinner starting?” I ask, eyes drifting up the table to Nate who is in deep conversation with Xavier.
“Rehearsal dinner?” Connie looks at me utterly confused.
“Yeah... is that not what this is?” and my cheeks pinch red.
“No darling,” a soft laugh vibrating out of her, “it's an informal dinner, just an excuse to all get together before the chaos kicks in over the next couple of days.”
“Oh, I see,” and I feel a little silly. “Nate told me it was a rehearsal dinner.”
“That's because Nate never listens,” she smirks as me and side-eyes my husband, and I smile.
I love how close they all are.
Like a found family.
How nice must it be to have such a solid foundation, and each girl has come into the group and been welcomed with open arms. I was that girl now; the girls had enveloped me into an embrace and I know they would never let me go.
Maybe they were my found family too? But then reality slaps me across the cheek, burning me with a vengeance.
This isn't real, my subconscious so kindly reminds me, and my throat thickens just as Nate swoops in beside me, and tears teeter on my bottom lid.
“You okay?” his voice is soft, hand slipping between my thigh as he gives it a soft squeeze.
“Yeah,” I nod, sniffling as I dip my head, eyes pinned to my lap as I blink softly and swipe away the stray tear that rolls down my cheek before he notices.
Slowly sitting up, my eyes flick to him and I know he can see the unshed tears that dance in my eyes. I watch as his smile softens slightly, and I think he gets it.
But I think that makes it so much worse. That’s when I hear the way my heart shatters inside my chest.