23. Amelia
Chapter 23
Amelia
M atteo and I had our first fight and survived.
Well technically it wasn’t a fight, just a conversation. but I still counted the situation as a win. It wasn’t easy but we’d come out of it stronger. I knew it would take time and effort for us to rebuild trust. I was ready to wait as long as I needed to wait and do everything required to make this work.
I loved him even if he didn’t know it yet.
Soon, I would confess my love to him but for now, we needed to focus on building trust. The way I ended our relationship last time made Matteo lose his trust in me, but I knew we would get back to where we used to be. I knew that one day we would overcome our obstacles and be everything we were always meant to be.
“What are you thinking about?” Matteo asked as he kissed my cheek.
We were lounging on the couch in the sitting room. Well, he was lounging on the couch, and I was lounging on him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my cheek again. His kisses trailed down my neck and across my shoulder.
“Stop thinking so much or you’ll miss the movie,” he said.
“If I miss the movie, it will be because you keep distracting me with kisses,” I argued.
Matteo’s laugh poured onto my skin. He kissed me again before saying, “It’s not my fault your skin is so beautiful.”
“Now he resorts to flattery.”
He laughed again. Then, after one final lingering kiss, he lifted his head and focused on the screen. Weekends with Matteo were the best part of being with him. We never went out. We always stayed in and enjoyed each other’s company. I loved it.
After the movie, Matteo worked on lunch while I vacuumed the popcorn that had fallen on the floor during the movie. Agnes was back in the house but she had to leave often to help her daughter with the baby.
Matteo and I didn’t mind. We loved having the place to ourselves. There had been enough awkward encounters with Agnes for a lifetime. My skin still heated up when I remembered the moment when she walked in on Matteo and me kissing in the kitchen.
He’d placed me on the counter and was devouring my lips when Agnes stepped in. I hadn’t been able to look her in the eye since. Matteo thought the whole thing was funny but I didn’t share his sentiment.
I was happy to have this version of Matteo back though. The one who laughed often and faced life with unbridled optimism. That was the man I loved. It killed me to know that my actions had turned him into someone else. And I was thankful he was regaining his true self.
I was about to join Matteo in the kitchen when I heard my phone ringing. I walked over to where it sat on the center table. It was my dad calling.
“Dad,” I said after I’d answered and brought the phone to my ear.
“Hi dear.”
“It’s been a while.” My pointed tone did not go unnoticed.
He sighed. “Yes, I know and I’m sorry about that. It’s just been difficult to adjust to… ”To a world where I don’t do your bidding. I mentally finished off the rest of his sentence but out loud I asked, “How have you been?”
“Very well. How have you been? I hear you have a job now. What’s that like for you? It must have been difficult,” he said,
“At the beginning, yes. But now, I’ve adjusted just fine. I love my job.”
“Oh really?”
I cocked a brow even though he couldn’t see me. “Yes, really.”
“I’m proud of you then.”
I wasn’t expecting him to say that so it took a while for me to answer. “You are?”
My father sighed again. “You’ve done far better than I expected you to. That is enough reason to be proud. You see the truth is that I didn’t expect you to last more than two months in New York. That was why I made you stay with Matteo. I didn’t want you to waste money on renting and setting up an apartment when I was certain you would be back in less than three months. I never even considered that you might get a job. Like I said, you’ve done far better than I expected and I’m proud of you.”
I wasn’t surprised by the fact that my father expected me to give up. He and my mother didn’t believe I was capable of handling things on my own. I suppose I couldn’t blame them for their lack of faith in me. I hadn’t done much to inspire their faith.
Still, they’d never given me the opportunity. My life had never truly been in my own hands. Not until now. I felt proud of myself for proving my parents wrong. In a way, I’d also proved myself wrong. My expectations for myself were not as low as my father’s, but I had to admit that I didn’t expect to survive this long. I didn’t think I was capable of getting a job and fending for myself. I had as many doubts as my parents did.
It was a goal but it wasn’t one I truly believed I could achieve. Thankfully I proved everybody wrong, especially myself. Pride warmed my chest, and I smiled as I stared at the faint reflection of myself in the penthouse windows.
I turned to look at the living room and I realized a lot of this wouldn’t have been possible if my father hadn’t forced me to live with Matteo. I was comfortable in this house and that allowed me to search for a job from a place of desire rather than desperation.
If I were on my own, I would have likely taken the assistant job that I’d been offered at first. Being here allowed me to wait for something better.
Surprisingly, I had my father to thank for that. And so I did. “Thank you for making me stay with Matteo.”
“Well, I certainly didn’t expect that,” he responded with a laugh. “I suppose he’s treating you well.”
“Yes, he is.””He better be. The deal I offered him was worth millions of dollars.”
I furrowed my brows. Matteo didn’t tell me anything about a deal with my father. Certainly not one that relates to me. “What deal?”
“It was the only way he would agree to let you stay in his house for four months. As part of our agreement, he would house you and I would give him a multi-million-dollar deal. Don’t bother thinking about that, Amelia. It’s business and in business… ”
My father’s voice trailed off until all I could hear was a loud ringing noise. I couldn’t tell if it was coming from outside or from inside my head. The pitch of the noise increased with every breath I took. I looked around but my vision was blurred. Not by tears but by memories.
I remembered asking Matteo why I was here. I asked him why he’d agreed to let me stay here when he could have easily told my father no.
I don’t know , he’d said.
But evidently, that was a lie. He welcomed me into his home because my father offered him money. And he didn’t even have the decency to tell me the truth.
The ringing stopped and I could finally hear my dad again. He was still talking about business. He relished any opportunity to lecture me. “I have to go now, Dad,” I said, effectively cutting him off. “Thanks for calling.”
I ended the call before he got a chance to reply. My mind was too fixated on Matteo to consider being more courteous.
He was in the kitchen right now, preparing the meal for us to eat. We’d spent so much time together and through it all he never once considered telling me the truth. After all his talk about building trust. Little did I know that he’d been lying this whole time.
I felt a mix of anger and sadness. I hated him for lying to me. If he had only told me the truth from the beginning, then I wouldn’t feel as stupid as I did now. But I had to wonder if I would have liked to hear the truth. Would I have liked to know that he only welcomed me into his home because he got money out of it?
Probably not. But Matteo should have given me the chance to decide how I felt about it. He should have told me the truth.
I walked down the hallway and towards the kitchen, my footsteps sounded unusually loud against the tiled floor. Or maybe that was just the noise in my head?
There were so many thoughts swirling around in my head that it made me want to scream. But when I finally got to the kitchen and saw Matteo, my thoughts quieted. He looked up from the pot and smiled at me. It was a soft smile, one that seemed to happen naturally rather than something he was conscious of doing. It was like he couldn’t help but smile at me.
The sight made my heart ache, and I hated him all over again for ruining what we’d built. Did we really build anything if the foundation of our relationship was lies?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
My question dimmed his smile and confusion contorted his features. “Tell you what?”
“About the deal you made with my father. The multi-million-dollar deal that is the only reason you allowed me to stay in this house.”
“Amelia—”
I cut him off before he could finish. “How could you keep something like that from me? I asked you why you agreed to let me stay here and you lied to me!”
“I didn’t lie to you!”
“You said you didn’t know why. Well, you did, which means you lied. You lied to me, Matteo!”
He switched off the gas. Clearly detecting that he wouldn’t be able to give it his full attention. “When I said, I didn’t know, I meant. Yes, your father offered me a great deal to house you for four months but that’s not why I took it. I took it because deep down, some part of me wanted you here. With me.”
There was a prickly feeling behind my eyes. I knew I was about to break down and cry. I wiped aggressively at my eyes even though they were still dry. “Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t react well to the truth,” he said as he gestured to me.
“You should have told me anyway. You’re the one who said we needed trust if this was going to work, yet you betrayed that trust. And all for what? Money? I thought you were better than that.”
Matteo’s eye twitched slightly. I could tell he was getting angry. Good. His calmness was starting to irk me. How dare he speak like I had no reason to be upset? He claims I wouldn’t have reacted well to the truth. That was merely an excuse for his lies.
“I chose not to tell you because I thought it would be better that way. I thought—”
“Better for who?” I asked, interrupting him.
“Better for us! I didn’t even know where this was going back then. I had no idea we would make it back to each other. I had no idea that living with you would lead to us getting back together.”
I shook my head. “That’s no excuse for lying.”
“I didn’t say it was!” he flared. “I just want you to understand why I did what I did.”
“Well, I don’t. You killed what we had, Matteo. You killed it with your lies.”
His brows pulled together and I could almost hear the sound of his teeth grinding. “You killed it first when you chose your parents over me.”
It was a low blow, one that knocked the fight right out of me. I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out. I suddenly felt tired and too weak to do anything. Still, I knew I couldn’t stay here any longer. I couldn’t keep living with a man who never wanted me here in the first place, a man who only tolerated my presence for financial gain Not to mention that he clearly hadn’t forgiven me for our past. Even if I were to get past this, he’d resent me forever.
When we met in the park after my wedding, he’d been cold to me. He wanted nothing to do with me. The only reason he allowed me to stay in his house was because my father offered him the chance to fatten his wallet. I felt like a pawn. I felt like I’d never really gained control of my life. All this time, my father’s money was still what kept me afloat. Matteo had only treated me right so he could gain his favor.
I couldn’t stay there anymore. I had to leave. I walked out of the kitchen. The prickling sensation was back in my eyes, and it took everything in me not to cry. For a moment, I thought Matteo would come after me but he never did.
He stayed out of my way as I packed what I could and left his house. When I was standing in the elevator, I realized I had nowhere to go. My only friend in New York was Lisa. I dialed her number and lifted the phone to my ears.
As the elevator doors closed, Matteo came into view. Seeing him again was what finally broke me. When Lisa answered the call, I was already in tears. She immediately asked me where I was and she came to pick me up shortly after.
I cried my heart out that night. I was mourning my relationship with Matteo for the second time, but the pain felt just as fresh as the first.
Why did loving him have to hurt so much?