Chapter 6 #2
I almost drink the whole glass dry, but slow down feeling the burn in my chest. “What is it, Jake?” I eventually say.
“You know what.”
I shrug, about to finish my beer, but pause with the rim of the glass to my lips. “If you know what, then you know his death is on me.” I finish my drink, the words on my tongue like daggers in my flesh. My chest aches saying them out loud.
Jake’s jaw stiffens. “Bullshit. It was an accident. The police investigation proved it.”
I fake a laugh, looking up towards the bar. Both of my mates know about the crash. They know I was arrested after and swiftly cleared of any wrongdoing. They don’t know why we crashed, though. I haven’t shared that with anybody. “Now that’s bullshit.”
Going to stand, Danny gets up before me. “I’ll get this one, lad, but I don’t think drinking anymore is going to help you.”
“Yeah, coming here might have been a mistake, Paddy.”
My eyes land on Jake’s. It feels like every tick of the clock pounds in my head until I steady my fraying nerves just enough so that I can speak.
“The first mistake I made was letting Aaron treat everyone like shit for as long as he did. The second was thinking I could make him see what he was doing was wrong, and the third…” I shake my head, biting the inside of my mouth out of anger at myself.
“The third was believing that I was doing the right thing by trying to help in the first place.”
“You did do the right—” Jake starts, but I cut him off.
“Save it.” Flicking open my wallet, I throw some cash on the table. “Get yourselves another round on me.” My frustration at myself is high. Anything these two try to tell me is going to flip my fucking lid. “Sorry for dragging you out here.” I get up and start walking towards the door.
“What changed?” Danny fires at me. “You were fine yesterday back home.”
I halt and when I turn, I can see Danny’s irritation, but more than anything, I can see the look of worry in his eyes.
Even as kids I could always tell exactly what these two were thinking.
“I almost made the same mistake again.” Who knows what damage I might have caused if I’d tried to help Morgan.
“With Morgan Brooks?” he says roughly.
My agitation spikes. “Why do you say it like that?”
“What do you mean?” he counters.
I step closer to the table I walked away from.
“Like the thought of me hanging out with her is ridiculous?” He opens his mouth to speak, but I take another closing step, leaving him silent.
“You’ve got the same look on your face that her father did before he sent her inside like she was still a kid. ”
Jake looks up at Danny, who’s staring blankly at me.
“I just think she needs something more than an old friend. That’s all, Paddy.”
“Why?”
A gut-churning, ear-piercing crash, followed by a high-pitched scream has the three of us up and running towards the door.
When we make it onto the street, the scene before us is carnage.
“Fucking hell!” Danny shouts, running towards the accident.
Two cars are mangled together: smoke and dust polluting the air.
Jake steps around me, looking back over his shoulder. “Call an ambulance!”
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my phone, my eyes frantically bouncing over the picture before me.
A distressed mother cries out, screaming a pained cry. “No! My boy!”
My heart squeezes painfully. Taking a slow step forward, I watch as she drags herself off the pedestrian crossing, frantically searching for her son. Bystanders rush closer, the noise from their collective shouts for help grow louder with every second that skips by.
“Paddy,” Jake calls, eyes wide. “I’m going to need you!”
Ice scatters across my skin. My shoulders drop. My hand which was holding the phone is no longer steady. Feeling my heart rate run wild, black dots scatter across my vision. The wreckage in front of me pixelates as sweat beads on my temple.
I want to move. But I’m trapped.
The sudden silence suffocating.
The inability to move isolating.
Fear and panic have me wrapped in a death grip; the beast holding me like a prisoner, unwilling to surrender.
“Paddy!”
I hear Jake’s voice like a murmur in my head.
“Paddy! The ambulance!”
It’s only now I realise my eyes are wet around the edges. I blink, my unexpected tears stinging. “What?”
He grabs my shoulders, shaking me. “Paddy, we need a fucking ambulance.”
My lips part, but my limbs are useless as the urgency of his tone registers.
Jake grabs his phone, and all I can do is listen as the noise subsides and my vision begins to clear. “Ambulance, Rowland Street. There’s one fatal that I can see. Two drivers, one seriously injured.” He hangs up and looks me up and down.
The word fatal has me staring at him, seeing him more clearly.
The corner of his lips turn down seeing my reaction. “I need to go and help Danny. He doesn’t know what he’s doing out there. You get out of here, Paddy. Go back to Stoney Grange for a while until you’re over this. I’ll check in with you later, make sure you’re alright.”
I just about manage to nod at his back as he runs with lightning pace to where Danny is standing, holding one of the drivers still, making sure they don’t move.
Fuck.
I shift uncomfortably, knowing he’s right.
Things have got to change.