14. Keira
CHAPTER 14
KEIRA
“ I still feel like I should have gone home to change,” Keira murmured.
“You’re fine,” Kareem assured her. “You’re dressed just as well as I am, after all.”
Perhaps that was true. Keira couldn’t be sure. It was true that her outfit and Kareem’s were similar — they were both made of linen — but men’s clothing and women’s were different in Qalmar, and she hadn’t yet mastered the nuances of how to dress appropriately in her new culture. She counted on Kareem’s staff to help her choose appropriate outfits each morning, and this one had been chosen for the office.
She would just have to trust Kareem. This was his country, after all. He was the one who lived a publicly scrutinized life. He would let her know if there was something wrong with the way she was presenting herself.
She had to admit that it came as a surprise to find herself worried about this at all. It wasn’t her usual way. Keira was more apt to dress for her own comfort, style, and pleasure, and as long as she wasn’t wildly inappropriate — something that had never happened — she was content to let other people think whatever they liked.
Turning her thoughts around in her head, she realized that what was really worrying her tonight wasn’t what the public at large thought, but rather, what Kareem thought. She didn’t want him to be disappointed — but she would have to take him at his word when he said that he wasn’t, that he thought her attire was perfectly fine.
“Good evening, Your Highnesses.” A ma?tre d’ was waiting at the door of the restaurant to welcome them. “We’re so pleased that you’ve chosen to dine with us tonight. Our chef is preparing a delicious menu for you. Please, come in.”
Keira felt as if she had stepped into another world. The restaurant was draped in gauzy fabrics, and the tables were covered with rich velvet cloths. The style was so different from any place she’d ever eaten before that she thought she would enjoy spending an afternoon here, just taking in the sights. It was something she knew at once she would always remember.
Kareem didn’t seem anywhere near as stunned by the opulence and beauty of the place. He wore a neutral expression — smiling mildly, but other than that, looking as if nothing out of the ordinary was taking place. Of course, Keira was sure he had been here many times before in his life, so there was no reason it would be particularly special for him. She was the one who was having a unique experience.
If there were ordinarily a lot of tables in this part of the restaurant, someone had taken it upon themselves to clear those tables away. At the moment, there were very few. They were led to one in the center of the space. “Please take a seat,” the ma?tre d’ encouraged. “Someone will be along to go over tonight’s menu with you in just a moment.”
“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” Kareem said with a smile. “You can go ahead and tell the kitchen to get started. I’m sure we’ll be more than happy with whatever you have in store for us.”
“Very good, Your Highness.” The ma?tre d’ nodded and withdrew.
“This is amazing,” Keira said. “I’m so glad we decided to do this.”
“I think you’re really going to like the food,” Kareem said, smiling at her. “You know, this place was one of my favorites when I was growing up.”
“You came here as a child?”
“Frequently, yes.”
“It doesn’t seem like a very child-friendly place.”
“No, but we weren’t really normal children,” Kareem pointed out. “Father said that my brothers and I needed to learn how to conduct ourselves appropriately at state dinners, and we would come here to practice for that. Amir used to complain about it and ask why we couldn’t just practice at home, but I understood what Father was trying to do — a part of handling state dinners is being able to get out of your comfort zone, and it wouldn’t have done us any good to practice formal dining etiquette at the same table where we ate all our meals. By coming here, he was able to make it feel as if we were at some sort of special event, and I think it did change the way we behaved.”
“Were you good at your etiquette lessons?” Keira asked.
“I was the best of the three of us, actually,” Kareem laughed. “I think it annoyed my father, because my brothers were the ones who really needed to learn those skills — Amir especially, but I know Father hoped to make Saif a member of his cabinet, and that would have required the same skill for international relations as being king one day will require of Amir.”
“Why didn’t your father consider making you a member of his cabinet, if you were the one who was better at etiquette?”
“Because I’m the youngest,” Kareem said simply. “Having me in that position was never part of the plan.” Keira’s indignation must have showed on her face, because he added, “There’s no need to be upset about it. That’s the way things are in the royal family, the way they’ve always been. A third-born son has no place in politics. There are things he can do to be a valuable and cherished member of the Qalmese population, and oftentimes the public ends up loving a youngest son more than any of his brothers because he isn’t responsible for policy. I have the freedom to do things that my people will enjoy — things like planning races.”
“I see,” Keira murmured.
“You seem unhappy. Have I said something to upset you?”
“No, not at all,” she assured him. “It’s just that I know what it’s like when your family favors your elder brother and doesn’t pay attention to your accomplishments.”
“What do you mean?” Kareem asked. “Your family is a racing family. They must care a great deal about everything you’ve accomplished in the motorsports world.”
“You would think so,” Keira agreed. “But it hasn’t been that way at all. My brother is a driver, as you know, and so were my father, my uncle, and my grandfather. Driving is what my family cares about. They look at Kevin and see someone who’s a tremendous success, even though he’s only a mediocre racer and has never won a major cup. And when they look at me and what I do… I think what they see is someone who failed.”
“How could they possibly see that?” Kareem reached across the table and took Keira’s hand in his. “You’ve succeeded in so many different ways. I can’t imagine how anyone could look at you and see a failure.”
Keira froze at the feel of his hand on hers.
She couldn’t pretend that this wasn’t something she had spent time thinking about. Every time they were in close proximity, her mind wandered to what it might be like to feel him touch her. But it had seemed impossible — like nothing more than a fantasy. To have that fantasy suddenly jerked from the back of her mind to reality was jarring.
Kareem seemed to realize at the same time that he had crossed an unspoken line, because he took his hand back and cleared his throat. “All I meant was that it seems obvious to me that you’ve worked hard and achieved great things,” he said. “It surprises me to hear that your family doesn’t see that.”
“You know how families can be,” Keira said. “They see what they want to see. Your family does, right? They want to see your oldest brother Amir as the leader, the one who is qualified to manage the affairs of a country. And they want to see you as the irresponsible one who can’t be trusted with anything and whose ambitions are nothing but the idle fantasies of a little boy.”
Kareem laughed. “I couldn’t have put it so well,” he said. “And it really isn’t funny — but yes, you’re right. That’s exactly how they see me.”
“It’s the same with my family. They decided something about me a very long time ago, and I don’t know that they’ll ever be able to move on from that decision. It’s just the way they see me now.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Kareem said quietly. “I know they’re your family and that you love them, but I also think you deserve to be seen and recognized for your hard work and all the great things you’ve done for the motorsports world. It’s hard for me to believe that anyone could have the Keira Harding as their daughter and not realize how amazing that is — how amazing you are.”
“Most people don’t think of me the way you do,” Keira told him, smiling.
“Well, they should.” Kareem’s expression was serious. “Any real racing fan knows what an important mark you’ve left on the sport, and if your family can’t find a way to understand and appreciate that, they don’t have their eyes open, Keira.”
A lump rose in Keira’s throat. How long had it been since someone had spoken to her like this — had truly recognized the effort and skill that was present in everything she did for her job? Had it ever happened?
“Thank you, Kareem,” she said, aware that her voice sounded huskier than it normally did. “Thank you so much for saying all this. You don’t know what it means to me to hear it.”
“No, I think I do,” Kareem said quietly. “Being around you has made me feel validated in a way I never expected, Keira. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel like the family joke — like a lazy fool who can’t be counted upon to achieve anything or to take anything seriously. Even when I first came up with the concept for this race we’re putting together, I couldn’t help feeling as if it was a very self-indulgent thing to do with my time. But being around you has changed that for me, because I’m able to see how someone who loves racing the way I do is also someone to be admired. You’ve allowed me to see myself in a new light, Keira. I will always have that to hold on to now, even — even after you’re gone.”
Keira shifted awkwardly in her chair. Though she hadn’t mentioned it to Kareem — she would have been far too embarrassed — she didn’t like thinking about what would happen when the race ended. She had never intended her life here in Qalmar to be permanent — far from it — and she did want to go back home. But at the same time, it was hard to picture saying goodbye to everything here. She’d fallen in love with the warm breeze that greeted her each morning, the sound of the Qalmese accent — even, to her dismay, the luxurious surroundings in Kareem’s estate. She’d gotten used to being waited on, something she had promised herself wouldn’t happen. But she hadn’t been able to help it. The fact of the matter was that being a sheikha was a lot of fun.
And being with Kareem… that was proving to be even more fun.
It was hard to believe there had been a time when she’d found him unbearable and wished that he would leave her alone. It was true that he could be annoying from time to time, of course. She still burned inside whenever he got caught up in his worries about what his family would do if they found out about the race. But at the same time, she understood the way he felt. It was very difficult to try to do something on your own for the very first time. She could imagine the anxiety it must cause him to know that at any moment, his father might intervene and put a stop to all their plans.
After all, what if her own father had had the kind of power King Hassan did? What if he’d been the ruler of a country, able to push people in any direction he wanted them to go?
Keira knew the answer. If her father had had his way, she would be behind the wheel of an F1 car right now, and she would never have been able to discover her true passion.
Kareem might be a privileged member of the royal family, but Keira knew he was much more constrained by his position in life than she had ever been by hers, and that fact made her heart ache with a desire to help him.
She would do all she could to ensure that his race was a success.