Chapter Forty
Tera
The decision to avoid the yoga class is easy to make. If I don’t take my name off the roster and just leave the apartment for that hour, Shade will never know. My car has been fixed from its death rattle so he isn’t dropping me off anymore. It’s like kismet. Maybe I can join some other group to socialize.
The thought of facing more animosity is too much. No matter where I go, it seems like a nonstop phenomenon.
What is it about me that everyone hates so much? I just want to get by in life without struggling. Is that so horrible? Why can’t they just ignore the stain in the room and stop trying to scrub it out?
I stare at the new text from Max as I wait for my smoothie, even though it’s become hard for me to find interest in even that food. I know in my head it’s because I’m sinking further into another depressive episode, but I can’t stop it. The affirmations seem more like lies than ever right now.
Max:Good morning.
I don’t know if I want to answer him. The only thing I can think of to text back is that this is not a good morning at all, and he might want to think about going back to bed and skip it for the sake of his sanity. I want to do that.
But today is a yoga day, and I can’t go home. Then I have work, so I’ll have to go back, shower even though I don’t need to, and head out again. I never know when Shade will pop up like the dictator he is just to check on me.
Me:Morning.
Why I settled on one word that sounds passive-aggressive, I don’t know, but I don’t take it back. It’s sent and out there in the universe.
Max: What are you doing?
I’m standing like a useless lump, trying to figure out how I can turn invisible to get through the day.
Me: Nothing much. What about you?
Max: Trying not to think pushy thoughts. The normal.
I can’t help giggling at the text, my heart lightening at the self-deprecating attitude he has. We match each other so well sometimes. My smile trembles as I stare at his name.
My phone rings, interrupting the text thread. It’s a number I don’t recognize, so I’m happy to answer it.
“Hello?” I can’t help laughing at how ridiculous it is that I’m more likely to answer a telemarketer call than a person I know.
I guess the person selling something is surprised at the tone because it’s quiet for long enough that I try again. “Hello?”
The second greeting seems to jar the person on the other end of the line, and a throat clears loud enough my eyes widen. “Ms. Evans, this is Asher Broussard from Evergreen Gym calling. We were wondering if you had decided to -”
I hang up before he can get anything else out. I recognize that voice too well. My nipples have already perked up in response to hearing it, and my face heats in embarrassment.
I hurry to block the number and start praying that there’s only one phone there, so he can’t call back. Now I have a name to go with lickable tattoos and intense eyes that make me melt. I’m so weird. Why can’t I stop being like this?
Asher
She didn’t show up on Thursday. Everyone in the class that stayed looked guilty as fuck while I watched the door, waiting.
My thoughts are concerning as worry begins to sink in.
Who is taking care of her? Max is on a text-only ban, and none of the guys in Muay Thai acted like they knew something might be up on Wednesday.
I try to shake off my insanity. She isn’t mine yet, and none of that is my business.
Fuck, I just said yet.
I debated calling her, but one missed class isn’t a big deal, right? If I call, will she think I’m stalking her? She technically wouldn’t be wrong. That’s what makes the thought worse. Having her see me as some perv, which apparently I now am, makes me settle enough to wait it out despite my gut telling me it’s a mistake.
When she doesn’t come on Tuesday, that sinking feeling comes roaring back. I already have my phone to my ear as I walk out the door, ignoring the other students. Fuck scaring her, she’s scaring me.
What if that was it? No more chances?
The phone is ringing as I walk to the main desk to check my roster.
“Hello?” Her sweet voice washes over me, and I pause my stomping steps to take a deep breath. I may have only heard her speak once, but it’s engraved in my head. My body reacts like it’s trained to calm as soon as I hear it.
She sounds happy, and I can faintly hear people talking in the background. A voice calls out for someone to pick up an order. She’s eating?
“Hello?” She repeats with the smallest giggle. Why is she laughing? Who is she with?
Fuck. Is she on a date? Is she with Max? That fucker better not have skipped the text ban.
I clear my throat loudly and try to act professionally instead of demanding to know where she is. She doesn’t know me, damn it!
“Ms. Evans, this is Asher Broussard from Evergreen Gym calling. We were wondering if you had decided to -”
The three beeps of a call disconnected ring in my ear, and I pull the phone back with a frown. I tap her name again and listen as it rings several times before disconnecting again without the option to leave a message.
Fuck, I just got axed. She’s running.
When I ask to see my current roster, the guy behind the desk startles, staring at me as if he’s never seen me before.
“Dude, calm down. Is there a problem?”
I grit my teeth and pinch the bridge of my nose as I say, “Everything’s fine. I just want to see if anyone has dropped. One of my students hasn’t been in.”
“Meh, it happens, man.” Whatever look I give him as my hand drops makes him cringe. “Just a sec.”
He prints it out and hands it to me warily. Her name is still there, so she hasn’t dropped. I could easily find her at home to-
The thought sinks in, and I cringe. How fucking bad does that look? A guy she doesn’t know showing up at her house to drag her to class with him. Fuck! That’s as bad as taking her to my apartment and tying her to my bed. Tempting but entirely inappropriate.
Tone down the psycho, damn it.
The problem is that in my mind, she’s already mine. And thoughts of her break into my brain at the weirdest times. I want to wrap her up in blankets and snap at anyone who would try and talk to her.
Wait, Shade. I can grill him.
I see those fuckers tomorrow. I’m tempted to call one of them now, but I throttle it back and force myself to wait.
By the time they show up Wednesday, I’ve already got my gloves on and a permanent scowl that’s making people avoid me. I didn’t sleep last night, which makes matters worse. No matter what time I called, there was never an answer. I left my phone at home today so I wouldn’t be tempted to just keep calling because I’m weak and selfish where she’s concerned, hoping that by some miracle she’s unblocked my number. So much for Max being the pushy one.
I choke on my questions as they get ready for a sparring session. I get a few strange looks, but no one asks what my problem is. That’s ok. I’ll have my opening soon. I just need to get all of this tension out first. I’ve been so impatient for answers, and now I feel sick at what their responses might be.
I take them out one by one, taking the longest on Brody. He’s fast for a guy that big, but I’m faster.
“Bad day?” Blaze asks as he rubs his ribs with a wince.
I focus on unwrapping my hands and ask calmly, “Is your friend sick?”
I know she isn’t, but I don’t want to start yelling right away.
“Who?” Ira asks absently from his chair as he guzzles water.
“Ms. Evans,” I grind out and yank the tape hard enough to tear it.
The name grabs their attention, but I focus only on the tape, trying to keep my normal cool. It’s just out of reach right now.
“What do you mean?” The second twin looks over at Shade in confusion. The ‘silent assassin’ doesn’t look up from his glove. He’s frozen in the middle of taking it off as he listens.
“She hasn’t been to class since last Tuesday,” I watch them carefully for any clues.
“No way,” Blaze scoffs. “She’s been going, right Shade? You’ve been dropping her off.”
Why is he dropping her off? Is he the reason she hasn’t been here?
“No, he stopped dragging her when she started relaxing about it,” Brody frowns. “And her car is fixed.”
He was forcing her to come? How?
“She told me Friday that the class is great,” Felix frowns as well.
“She wasn’t there Thursday or yesterday. I assumed she was ill,” I lie to prod a little.
My comment is made in a mild tone, but the four men act like a bomb has gone off, turning to face Shade warily as he sits perfectly still, staring down at his glove.
Brody shakes his head with a disappointed look. “Has she said anything, Shade?”
He doesn’t answer. He’s beginning to scowl as he slowly turns to look at me. I’ve never seen him express much emotion. This time, I’m getting the full effect of his anger. I’m choosing to take it as a good sign.
“She ran out when class was over. Some of the other women embarrassed her.” I don’t want to say why. I don’t need him alienating her from me. “I kicked them out, but she had already left.”
Shade stands and walks out without saying a word to any of us, throwing the gloves into their basket hard enough for them to bounce out.
The pool of silence he leaves behind confuses me.
“What’s he doing?” I can’t help the furious tone. Is he ignoring the situation?
“Oh, don’t worry,” Felix shakes his head as he glances around at the rest of the group. “She’ll be there tomorrow whether she likes it or not.”
They look at each other and start laughing. It sounds mocking. The mood has shifted now that Shade has gone, and they start joking with each other without a care.