Chapter Forty-One
Tera
“Did you know I go to a gym?” Shade asks casually as I sip my smoothie. It was a long night at work, and I’ve just gotten home to stretch my legs out on the couch. He’s sitting at the bar section leading to the kitchen, facing away from me.
“No? It makes sense, though. Do you lift, big bro?” I tease.
“Sometimes,” I see him shrug from the corner of my eye. “Mostly, I go for the Muay Thai class.”
“What is that?” I try not to let out my giggle. It sounds like a dance class, and I can’t wait to hear this.
“A type of martial arts.” He spins around on the stool to face me with his plate in his hand. He looks irritated with me. I guess teasing him about his class was a no-no.
“Our instructor is normally a nice guy, really quiet.”
“You all go?” It’s not really a surprise, and yet it is. Don’t they need time away from each other? They all sound really codependent.
“Yes. He teaches a couple of classes there.”
“No. Do not set me up with someone. I’m not ready.” Especially if it’s someone from a gym. I’m already daydreaming about one instructor. I don’t need more. I frown and take another sip just to have something to do.
“That wasn’t my intention. At all. You know what he told me? Today, in fact.”
“You’re no good at martial arts?” I ask. I’m so confused right now. Is this a cry for comfort? He’s usually so up-front about that.
“That you haven’t been to your yoga class for two weeks.”
“What?” I ask weakly.
He goes to Evergreen Gym. I want to facepalm at my complete idiocy. I’m still floating around without paying attention. But…
“It’s only been like one week.” When his eyebrows rise, I realize it was a trick, and I do facepalm this time. Busted.
“Where have you been going?” He asks suspiciously as his eyes narrow on me.
“H-how did he know?” I feel my shoulders rise up defensively as his displeasure washes over me.
“Because he teaches the class.” He says it calmly, but I know I’m in trouble.
How was I supposed to know they were buddies? Oh gosh, of course, they’re friends! I bet they hang out all the time. I bet Shade is the one that got me the membership there, not Blaze. He just didn’t want to take the credit so he wouldn’t have to listen to my groveling in thanks.
A silence falls between us. It’s so quiet I can hear myself swallow in dread.
“What happened?” He goes back to eating.
“I got embarrassed,” I admit, hanging my head in shame. “We did some advanced stuff, and the other women there thought I was showing off for attention, and I just-”I shrug, not knowing how to finish the sentence. Wait, I do know. “I don’t want anyone to see me.”
“Ok,” he says grimly. Just like that, he lets it go. I’m a lot surprised and a little suspicious. I’m used to the long arguments and snippy comments. Having him just drop it seems really weird.
I find out why the next day.
He offers to take me to lunch and tells me not to bother getting out of my pajamas. I pull a hoodie over my tank top so people think that I’m half slob instead of a complete one and slide on flip-flops. He’s in his anime lounge pants and a tank top, so I’m not suspicious at all. I’m convinced we’re going through the drive-through at the smoothie place right up until we pull into the parking lot of the gym.
“What are you doing?” I ask warily. I have a few guesses, and I’m praying none of them are right.
He doesn’t answer, reaching into the backseat to pull out two hidden yoga mats. He gets out and puts them both under his arm. I try to engage the lock before he can drag me out, but he didn’t close his door, so they pop right back open. He grabs my arm to yank me out. I stumble in my shoes as he pulls me around to close the door and marches me through the front doors and into the classroom.
The buzzing that had become familiar stops as we walk into the class. Shade takes a scowling look at the room and then continues dragging me to the back corner I prefer. My arch-nemesis knows me too well.
I should have known. He never goes anywhere dressed like this. Someone might see his obsession with anime and say something. Looks like he held on to a few anime things despite how much his boyfriends don’t like it. Good for him.
He’s trying to prove a point. That’s obvious.
He rolls out both of our mats as I glare at him with my fists clenched. I want to scream at him, but we’re in public, so laser eyes will have to do for now. I should consider myself lucky the twins aren’t here. There are a few minutes to go before class starts. They might show up. I stare at the clock on the far wall in dread.
When he slides his shoes off, he gives my feet a pointed look and settles onto his mat.
I want to refuse. I want to cry. I want to pull my hair out. All three options would get me noticed even more and possibly thrown out. I’m tempted to do all three just so I never have to see this place again.
There aren’t any squeals this time as the instructor walks in. Everyone seems confused about what to do with another guy in the room. Plus, Shade is handsome. Or he would be if he wasn’t such a total jerk! I should warn them all. It would be a public service.
“If everyone would take their places?” The calm voice tenses my shoulders, and I glance around guiltily. I’m the only one not on a mat. Shade is now standing, staring at me with a frown, along with a few concerned ladies.
I slip my shoes off and stomp onto the mat, fists clenched at my sides and eyes on the floor.
“I hope you fall. I want to see you land flat on your face and for your nose to break.” I mutter under my breath as the teacher leads them through a warm-up. I cross my arms and refuse to participate. “Ok, not break your nose, but I want it to be really painful and make you cry.”
“Tadasana,” the teacher’s voice is low and filled with a tone of warning.
I almost break. My body starts to move into position, raising my arms, but I catch myself in time. Shade stares at the people in front of him and then gets into the pose with a side glance that feels judgy. I turn my face away from him, chin high.
“Uttanasana,” the warning tone is becoming darker.
I cross my arms again to keep my body from obeying. Shade slaps my arm on his way into position, and my head snaps around to glare at him.
“You jerk!” I hiss as quietly as I can.
“Hands off.” The voice is not calm this time. Or soothing. It throws off the entire vibe of the room. “If you want a contact class, go sign up for one. Phalakasana.”
I stare at the hot guy with wide eyes as he shifts into plank position seamlessly while glaring at Shade. I want to crow in triumph until his eyes snap to me and narrow.
“I won’t say it again,” his tone is full of displeasure that only an idiot would ignore.
I drop down into the pose so fast that I get lightheaded.
For the rest of the class, I follow every single one of his instructions, but I don’t feel like it’s good enough. I’m imagining everyone staring and judging me. It doesn’t help that I catch a few women looking at me. I want to mess up the moves so they get disgusted enough to stop.
I can’t get out of my head, and it seems pointless to be here. I hate the feeling because this is something that I’ve loved for a long time. It’s ruined because I had to do it in front of other people instead of at home alone.
Even watching Shade try to get the moves right doesn’t bring me out of my funk. I don’t help him at all as a punishment. I’m starting to like the passive-aggressive approach. Is that healthy?
When he says Namaste, I continue sitting in lotus pose. I don’t want to get up and have to put on a fake smile to get out of here. Shade can drag me out while I’m on the mat. It would be easier for him anyway, and I won’t have as far to fall.
“Was that so hard?” Shade asks flatly.
It feels like he’s rubbing salt in the wound. My shoulders drop, as well as my head. He crouches at my side with a sigh.
“I don’t want to see you give up something that’s special to you because a bunch of jealous horny skanks can’t keep their mouths shut.”
My head slowly rises as I face him, totally horrified at his words. My cheeks flame with embarrassment because he made no effort to be quiet.
“That was so mean!”
“Who gives a shit?” He shrugs casually.
“I do! Why would you say that? Who cares if they want to get laid? Huh? They have eyeballs, and the guy is hot!”
Shade rocks back on his heels with a victorious smirk. He loves to make me angry for some reason, but he’s really done it this time.
“You don’t have to be a jerk to get your point across,” I glare, my jaw sliding into the stubborn mode. “You could have said, ‘Get over it, Tera.’”
“You would have nodded and still not come back.”
“Because I don’t want to! Can’t you see that?” I gesture around wildly. “I don’t feel safe here! Everybody is mean, and I hate it! I just want to live my life without people being mean all the time. Why is it so hard to do that?”
He doesn’t break stride as he ignores my dramatics. “I want you to stop giving a shit what anyone says or does because it doesn’t matter. They don’t matter. Nothing they say means anything because they are nothing. The next time someone says something mean to you, you punch them in the face.”
“I can’t do that!” I gasp in dismay at the thought. That would be a lot of punching. Do we have enough ice in the freezer for that?
“Then spit on them.”
“That’s gross! Ladies do not spit!”
His lips twitch up, but he’s fighting the smile as hard as he can. “Do a hair flip thing? I see chicks do it all the time. I don’t get it, but it seems effective.”
“No. My hair isn’t long enough,” I glare at him as hard as I can. “You’re being ridiculous. This whole thing is ridiculous. You’re not even listening to me. I should start my punching with you.”
“Do you even know how?” He taunts.
“I might learn!” I insist defensively. I’m lying. Me and physical violence aren’t friends. That’s South’s job, and she’s awesome at it.
“You’re practically allergic to violence,” he scoffs.
“Nu-uh,” I say back petulantly. “I’ll buy allergy meds and tough it out if my reward is your black eye.”
A throat clears beside us, and I look up with a wince. I get consumed in our arguments when they start, and I have to focus to get my witty comebacks. Not that they’re witty. I’m trying, dang it. I forgot we were in a public place, being rude and yelling.
The teacher is standing there with several women from the class behind him. Every single female is glaring at Shade.
“He’s a total jerk,” I assure them all and nod as their eyes swing towards me. “Feel free to dump your water bottles over his head as you leave. I’ll clean it up. No one will ever know. It’ll be our secret.”
“I would rather you didn’t, ladies. Have a good day,” the teacher dismisses them with a small smile. They file out with disgusted glares thrown Shade’s way, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he rolls up his mat. One even calls out, “Girl, break up with him. You can do so much better.”
“Am I even doing this right?” He looks at me with an irritated expression.
His mat is rolled so tight that it springs open when he lets it go. I have to giggle as he glares down at it.
“I didn’t think you could speak,” the guy says to Shade with a lazy smile that makes a blush start on my cheeks. How can his smile be so sexy? It’s not even aimed at me.
Shade ignores him, staring at the mat as if he can will it to roll up by itself.
I roll my eyes and get both his and mine safely fastened closed. “The dictator has been foiled by a yoga mat. I’m marking the calendar.”
“You would,” he snipes back, but he’s trying not to smile, I can tell.
“If I had known the kind of trouble this would cause, I wouldn’t have told you guys she stopped coming.”
Wait, have they all been complaining about me to the hot guy? And he’s been complaining back? Oh gosh, where is the invisibility spell?
“You guys talk about me?” I ask Shade quietly as my hand creeps up to clutch my throat to self-soothe.
“I had Blaze ask about the yoga class, and I got you set up,” he admits and rubs the back of his neck. “We aren’t talking shit behind your back, Tera. I promise.”
“Yeah. And you said we were getting lunch, you dirty liar. Don’t bother getting out of your PJs, Tera. It will be fine. The trust train has pulled away from the station,” I clap back while the hot guy chuckles softly. “You got kicked out at full speed ahead, jerk. Enjoy rolling down that hill covered in stickers.”
“Tera.” Shade says with a forbidding frown.
“I’m not taking it back,” I cross my arms over my chest and give him my ugliest stubborn look.
“I was concerned,” the hot guy confesses. When I look at him, I’m only able to make my eyes go up far enough to see his throat before I stop. I can feel my face getting red at his attention. Is that tattoo a chrysanthemum? His whole throat is covered in flowers! That’s beautiful. His throat bobs as he clears it.
“When I got disconnected trying to speak with you last week and couldn’t reach you again, I brought it up.”
“You hung up on him, admit it.” Shade glares.
I admit nothing. Mainly because the guy isn’t just hot, he’s nice, and I feel like a total jerk for hanging up on him. My eyes drop to the floor. Would it have killed me to talk to him? I’m so dramatic.
“I’m so sorry.” Dang it, that’s admitting it!
“That’s ok,” he says in the soothing tone he uses for class. The sound does a sudden twist as he growls out, “Shade, since you aren’t being helpful, why don’t you wait out in the hallway.”
I barely catch the scowl that crosses Shade’s face before he picks up both mats and walks to the doorway. He stays there, hovering with one foot in the hall and the other in the classroom.
“Eyes up, please.”
My gaze meets his as if he has control of my eyeballs, and my stomach sinks as we stare at each other. I feel such a strong pull to this complete stranger. I don’t like my reactions to him. It reminds me of Satan. What if he’s just like him? I can’t help the flash of fear that runs through me. I don’t want to go through that again.
“Thank you,” he says softly and smiles as he pushes up his glasses with his middle finger. His eyes are dark blue, almost cobalt. They’re mesmerizing, and my heart squeezes. Please don’t let him look down at my nipples.
“I noticed that something happened the last time you were here. Would you like to talk to me about it?”
I roll my lips in to keep quiet. I’m scared that if he rephrases it into a command, I’ll answer whether I like it or not, just like I used to do with Satan. I don’t even know this guy! What is wrong with me? My gaze slips back down to his throat in self-defense.
“All right,” he sighs, a gentle puff of breath that makes my shoulders tense. He doesn’t seem happy even if his body language is relaxed.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter and want to slap myself. I have nothing to be sorry for.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
My brow furrows. Can he read my mind?
“I’m glad you came back, but I am upset that you felt like you had to leave. I need you to feel safe here. I’m not going to let anything happen to you again. What would make you more comfortable? Enrolling Shade in the class?” He sounds like that’s the last thing he wants, and I agree one hundred percent.
“Oh gosh no,” I meet his eyes again in my desperation. “Please don’t do that to me. Can you ban him? Or set up some kind of blockade he can’t get through? The ladies will murder him if they find out how much of a dictator he is. You’d be saving his life.”
That surprises a laugh out of him. It’s louder than his normal volume, and I can’t help the faint smile that kicks up in response. “I can try, but he’s a very determined person.”
“You’re preaching to the choir with that one,” I mumble and drop my eyes to the floor as I realize I’m staring at his lips.
“I bet. Do you have someone else to join you?”
My shoulders sag. Andi thinks yoga should be the name for when spaghetti noodles finally go soft. The only other people that I know do yoga are Max and Satan. I’m avoiding them at all costs right now.
“No.”
“How about one on one sessions?”
“N-no,” my eyes widen as that nightmare plays out in my head. I would probably blurt out that I want to lick his tattoos or something. All alone with that voice? Complete annihilation.
“Any ideas?”
“How about I just come back to class?” I ask hesitantly. It seems to be the most logical path right now. “I feel safer in the back. Maybe I could wear headphones and just ignore them?”
“Anything that makes you feel comfortable is fine with me. Just be sure to tell me you’re wearing headphones beforehand so I don’t think you’re ignoring me.”
That’s reasonable. “I couldn’t ignore you if I tried.”
Oh my gosh, did I actually say that out loud?
“Good,” he sounds way too happy about my confession, and I squirm in embarrassment. “Eyes up.”
I did it again! I’m suddenly looking at him like he’s the only thing I can see.
“Would you mind unblocking my number?”
My eyes widen. How did he know? Oh my gosh, Shade has told him everything about me, hasn’t he?
“Ok,” I say hesitantly. “I don’t have it with me right now, but I will as soon as I get home.”
“Thank you, Tera. My name is Asher, by the way. I’ll see you next Tuesday.”
I nod dumbly, and he gives me another soft smile before he turns away to gather his things.
I wander towards Shade in a daze, and he tosses me my mat. I fumble to catch it.
“Wait for me in the car, ok? I’ll be right there.” He doesn’t wait for a reply as he paces over to Asher. Hopefully, he takes the opportunity to tell Shade he’s banned forever. I rush away without looking back so I don’t make myself look even more infatuated with the poor man.