The Sidekick

Chapter Fifty-Three

Tera

Loud rock music startles me awake and I blink, completely disoriented. What is that?

Asher grumbles from behind me and rolls over to reach out and slap his phone. When the guitar riff cuts off, his arm drops around my waist heavily, making me huff out a breath.

“I’m usually up before it goes off,” he mumbles and pulls me into his chest.

“It’s ok. We were up really late.” He sounds like he’s about to fall back asleep. My eyes are wide open. “Did you hit snooze?”

“No idea.”

“What time is it set for?”

He rolls into me, tilting me forward until I’m half-pressed into the mattress. His erection presses into me and I inhale sharply, trying to resist the urge to wiggle. When he doesn’t make any effort to move off of me, the urge gets stronger.

“Asher?”

He makes a questioning hum.

“Are you teasing me?” I chew my lower lip as a blush starts to spread across my cheeks.

His body tenses above mine. I bite down harder. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.

“Do you need something, angel?” He suddenly sounds wide awake. The husky tone of his voice is a seduction all its own. His weight settles more firmly on me, holding me down in a way that makes me breathless. I don’t feel anxious about being trapped. Surprisingly I feel the opposite as my body warms.

“Do you?” My voice comes out as a nervous squeak. I wince, burying my face in my pillow.

“I need a few things,” his voice turns thoughtful. “I need us to talk so that you know we’re more than just sex for one. We need to lay down some ground rules we can both be comfortable with.”

That sounds like a wonderful morning in an emotional sense but I have a more pressing concern. I have to be brave to say that out loud. It’s difficult to feel brave when I’m wearing a dress inside out with morning breath and a rat”s nest for hair.

“Okay,” I mumble and press my face deeper into the pillow. I internally berate myself for bringing it up.

“I’d also like to have a night with you that doesn’t involve me screwing everything up,” he says wistfully and shifts his weight off of me.

“I think that was both of us last night, so I’m sure it’s my turn tonight,” I turn my head to tease him. “You can’t have all the attention.”

“Careful angel,” he sits back on his heels to look at my prone form. His weight pulls on the skirt of my dress. “Or I’ll rethink my next need.”

“A shower?” I giggle and put a hand over my mouth to try and stifle it.

“Someone is a morning person,” he chuckles and the tension on the skirt lets up as he moves back.

“Don’t tell anyone,” my voice comes out muffled from behind my hand. I can’t stop smiling at our banter. I want every morning to be like this.

“I’m telling everyone,” he rebuts and I make an indignant sound that he laughs at. When I move to get up, he starts tickling my sides, causing a cascade of squealed laughter as I try to get away. He blocks every move I make until I’m lying breathless and begging him to stop.

His fingers pause and he lets me catch my breath with a patience that makes me sure he’s going to start again.

“Please don’t,” I giggle and glance at him from my fetal position in the middle of the bed.

“You’re right, I didn’t finish telling you what I need,” he taps my hip and gives me a wicked grin. “Savasana.”

I twist to lie flat on my back with my hands at my sides and my legs spread shoulder-width apart.

“You have no idea how much I like this.”

“It feels like our own language sometimes,” I smile softly and his eyes meet mine seriously.

“Maybe you do know then. Lift your skirt.”

I blink at him in surprise. He raises an eyebrow and I bite down on my lower lip as my cheeks heat again and my heart begins to speed up.

My fingers begin bunching the material until it’s above my waist and I swallow hard. His eyes are following the garment as it rises with a calm that doesn’t match his erection at all. Precum gathers at the tip as my center is revealed and he licks his lower lip.

“Are you sore, angel?” He asks softly.

“A-a little,” I shift in discomfort at the intimate complaint and he gives me a soft smile.

“Stay right here for me.” He lightly rolls out of the bed and I stare at the ceiling in confusion. Why am I lying here half-naked and he’s leaving the room? Something is wrong with this equation.

I hear a door open and the sound of water filling the tub. Is he running a bath?

He reappears in the doorway, completely naked and aroused, and leans against the doorframe to watch me.

“Do you have any scents you like? I didn’t see anything in the bathroom.”

I frown in confusion. “I think Andi bought me some of my old soap. It’s in the bag in the closet.”

“You haven’t been using it?” Asher asks as he goes to the closet. “I like these.”

I lift my head to see him bring the bag of dresses out and start setting them out thoughtfully. He pulls out the bottle of body wash I haven’t been able to bring myself to use and the shampoo and conditioner.

“Why are all these Tera things hidden away in there?” His tone is calm but the look in his gaze when his eyes meet mine is serious.

“They’re old Tera things,” I say tightly and let my head drop back onto the pillow. “Old dumb Tera things.”

“Really,” he says grimly and sets aside the toiletries to dig through the bag. “The dress you have on now came from this bag didn’t it?”

“Yes. Do you think you should check the tub? I don’t want it to overflow.”

His eyes flick up and my lips seal shut at the forbidding look on his face. “The tub is fine. I want to pick what you wear today. Would you be ok with that?”

My brows furrow. Am I supposed to not be ok with that? One less thing to debate about for twenty minutes sounds amazing to me. Even if it comes with the risk of wearing a dress.

“Can I request no bright colors?” I watch him pull out a lime green maxi and wince.

“Of course. We’re going with a more mellow mood today anyway.” He sounds like he’s barely paying attention to me as he sets the neon colors to the side and leaves out the pastels.

“We are?” I can’t help the giggle that burbles up. It catches his attention and he grins at me.

“Take that one off. I’ll put it in the laundry.” He goes back to eyeing the dresses and I chew my lip as I comply. I need to get some chapstick because being around him is going to tear my lips up, I can already tell.

I’m not sure what to do afterwards so I lie back down and watch him. He turns to leave and brushes a hand over my ankle as he goes. For a second there I thought he forgot about me laying here naked but that one touch is more reassuring than a thousand speeches.

My eyelids close as my body relaxes. I can hear him playing with the water a little. Some cabinets open and then he’s back. He doesn’t say anything as he leans down and lifts me into his arms, startling me. I want to protest that I can walk but I’m enjoying this so much I turn my face into his neck to place a light kiss on a daisy instead. I watch goosebumps pebble his skin and smile.

“Here we are,” he sets me on my feet and jerks his chin to the water. “Test the temperature first.”

Steam is rising lazily off the top and I dip my fingers into it. It’s hot and has some kind of oil in it that leaves my fingers slick as I withdraw them. “It’s perfect. Are you getting in with me?”

“Not right now,” he says, and I deflate a little. He grips my chin and pulls my face up for a gentle press of his lips. “This is relax time. You’re sore and you need this angel.”

“I’m not that sore,” I protest and get a raised brow in return.

Instead of arguing, I slip into the bath and let out a heavy sigh as the water embraces me.

“Just relax. I’ll be back in a minute.” He turns without waiting for a response and leaves. I don’t mind, the hot water has numbed my brain into forgetting how to form words.

It’s odd to hear him moving around out there, especially when a drill starts up. I thought it was the blender at first but this is a drone instead of the bursts I’m used to. What is he doing? My imagination runs wild and the scenes get more and more outlandish as I relax and laugh softly.

When he comes back, he’s wearing his sweatpants and I can’t hide my disappointment. He washes his hands in the sink but doesn’t dry them. When he kneels beside the tub, I sit up and give him a quick kiss.

“What were you building out there?” I grin at his surprised reaction to my affection and lean farther out to drip on him.

“I changed the locks and set up the reinforcement lock. Shade said the manager here didn’t care if we did it ourselves as long as they got a copy of the key. I wanted this done last night, but I got distracted.”

I give him a smug smile and settle back in the water, “Thank you, Asher.”

“Uh-huh,” his eyes narrow at my grin. “I think Max is a bad influence on you.”

“Sorry,” I say the word but I don’t really mean it and he can tell. When he pulls the washcloth off the side of the tub my eyebrows rise to my hairline.

“Are you about to bathe me?” I ask breathlessly. This man is perfect.

“Yes,” he grins. Then he sees the excited look on my face and breaks into laughter. “Is this something you’ve wanted?”

“I didn’t even know to want it but now that it’s here… yay!” I offer him my arm with a grin, and his laugh gets louder. “When do I get to do this to you?”

“You want to give me a bath?” He says in a contemplative tone, focused on cleaning the spots where my nails cut into my skin. I have a few interesting light bruises I’m going to have to explain but I don’t care. I’m in the mood to tell people I had the best orgasms ever last night.

“Why not? You could be relaxing, and I would get to have my hands all over you. We both win.”

He gives me a surprised look and says, “Well, I didn’t even know to want that.”

“And now that it’s here?” I wait hopefully for his response as he massages my arm with the cloth between his skin and mine.

“Yay,” he says in a flat tone but his grin is wide enough that I know he’s excited about it.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise,” I tell him solemnly and he bursts into laughter as he takes my other arm.

“I’m sure you will. Close your eyes and relax.”

I’ve never had anyone do this before. It’s amazing. He takes his time, massaging sore muscles until I feel like a puddle of happiness sinking into the water.

I’ve never been so spoiled. I’m not sure what to do with it but the attention is like a balm to my soul. I watch him as he works. He’s so focused and yet he looks pleased. Like doing this for me is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

“This makes you happy?” I ask quietly. It brings his attention to my face.

“It does,” he says as if it’s the easiest thing in the world to admit. “Does it bother you?”

“Being spoiled rotten? Uh, no, it doesn’t bother me,” I giggle, and his smile gets wider. When he refocuses on my leg, I can’t help the melancholy that strikes. Who knows how long this will last? He could have anyone he wants. Why is he settling for me?

The washcloth slides between my thighs and my breath catches in surprise.

“What are you thinking about, angel?” Asher gently rubs the cloth over my flesh, making my nipples peak and I shift restlessly with a whimper.

“W-what?” I blink at him, the question suddenly not making any sense.

His eyes narrow as they meet mine, his lips no longer smiling. “You looked sad. What were you thinking?”

“Um,” my voice breaks as the massage continues and my breathing gets heavier. “I can’t think.”

His hand withdraws and he stands. The outline of his erection is blatant and I bite my lip.

“Let’s talk,” he says firmly and I frown up at him.

“Now?” The word comes out more whiny than I intended. I wince, dropping my chin.

“I promise I’ll bathe you as much as we both want. Fair warning, I’m going to want it a lot.”

The serious way he speaks confuses me. Why would that be a problem? He’s basically a walking fantasy to me. It’s not like I’m going to say no.

“Up, angel.”

I look up to see his extended hand and take it so he can help me rise. He reaches for a towel and dries me tenderly, setting it aside to pull the drain on the tub. As he leans over, I can’t help reaching out to touch a purple and yellow dahlia. Before I make contact, my hand freezes and my brow furrows again.

“You can touch me, angel, I promise,” he says over his shoulder. I snatch my hand back.

“How did you know?”

He rises to face me with a smirk. “Come on.”

Asher takes my hand and leads me into the living room. My eyes widen as I start trying to backpedal.

“I can’t go out there like this,” I whisper in dismay. I don’t know why I’m keeping my voice down. It’s not like anyone else is here.

“The blinds are closed, the locks are changed, and no one else is here. I double-checked. I want you to stay this way until it’s time for me to go.” He looks back at me as I chew my lip, my nerves rising up to try and take over.

“You’re beautiful,” he says quietly, almost reverently. My eyes meet his as he turns and places a thumb over my lip to pull it away from my worrying teeth. “I want to see as much of you as I can before I go to work. It might get me by for the next few hours.”

His words become self-deprecating and I step closer to him. My tension hasn’t left me, but I kiss his cheek and hesitantly relent, “Ok.”

“Would you believe me if I told you that you’re every fantasy I’ve ever had made flesh?” He says so seriously my eyes widen in surprise.

I want to say something flippant back. He can’t possibly mean it. My words get stuck in my throat as his eyes flick between mine. I realize this is a set-in-stone statement, not some line he’s feeding me.

“That’s not possible,” I say doubtfully.

“I didn’t think it was either, yet here you are.” He begins tugging me by the hand as he walks backward until he reaches the counter. One of the chairs gets pulled into the kitchen, facing the stove and he guides me to sit like I’m a queen and he’s about to serve me. The thought makes me blush at how unlikely it is.

He leaves me to start some coffee and rummages around in the fridge, producing a few eggs and then some cantaloupe. I cross my legs and watch as he learns where everything is with a bemused smile. It’s obvious he’s cooking something but what am I supposed to do?

“Is there anything I can help with?” I ask nervously as I fidget.

“You can sit right there and watch me. Talk to me. Anything you want as long as your perfect ass stays in the chair.”

“If I did a little victory dance back here, you’d never know,” I taunt him with a shy smile. It’s weird to sit around naked. I end up swinging the seat back and forth while he cooks. He laughs without looking behind him to see if I’m doing it.

“We need to set up a few rules for us,” he starts chopping the melon as he talks, multitasking like a beast. “I’ll tell you what I’d like, and you’ll do the same. Then we’ll hash out what’s comfortable for both of us and work from there.”

“Ok?” I lean forward a little to pay attention. It would be nice to have everything laid out for me but what is he going to say? What will I agree with? If I hate something, will I have the courage to speak up?

“I want to be the only one that feeds you. That’s mine, and I don’t want anyone else interfering.”

I blink in surprise. It was a long shot to have him do it, much less someone else, so that’s easy to agree to. His shoulders have tensed as he works, keeping his face hidden so I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

“Done,” I say easily. “I still want to try eating by myself, too, though.”

“Done.” His shoulders don’t relax, but he lets out a rough breath as if he expected an argument. “If you hadn’t noticed, I’m a little controlling. I like being that way in and out of the bedroom.”

“Explain, please?” He could mean anything from being dominant to being abusive. I want clarification ASAP.

“I mean I want you to obey me… all the time.”

“Even if I don’t want to? Or I’m scared?” I ask nervously.

“I’ll never ask you to do something I don’t think you can handle. But you have a say too. I don’t want a slave so much as I want you to submit because I need it, and so do you. If there’s ever a time that you want to back out of something, we can think up a safeword for each of us. You can call a halt to things, and that will be the end of it. I have the same right.”

“Ok.” This conversation isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I don’t feel as embarrassed with him not watching me too.

“Ok. The next one is going to be hard, angel, but bear with me.”

I spoke too soon, dang it. I straighten in my seat, preparing myself for the worst.

“No more running when we have a fight.”

“No,” I say flatly, instantly withdrawing.

“Hear me out,” the stove clicks off and he turns to me with a frown.

My shoulders are tense as I twist my hands in my lap. As soon as he started to face me, my eyes dropped to the floor.

“I know it’s your defense and I don’t want to take that away from you. If you have to leave, just go into another room, and take a minute. Or yell at me, anything but what happened last night. Do you even remember that you almost got hit by a car, angel?”

I feel ashamed of my reaction and how stupidly I behaved, but I’m also angry with him for pointing things out I’d rather not focus on. I keep my mouth clamped shut.

“I’m going to remember that for a long fucking time,” his voice shakes. My shoulders bow in at the fear drenching the words. “I never want that to happen again. So I’m making a rule, but I want it to be something we can both live with, even if we have to work at it.”

I don’t know what to say. A part of me feels like he’s trying to take away any escape I might have and I don’t like that at all. What if I need to get away? What if he says something he can’t take back and I can’t walk away because I promised not to?

Asher crouches down in front of me to look me in the eyes. “I need you safe. That’s all this boils down to. Last night was not safe. I’ll always follow you, angel, no matter where you go.”

The words by themselves are frightening with their intensity, but it relaxes me a bit. Tears well up, and he frowns in concern. “Because you jumped.”

“Yeah, I did,” he admits in a raw voice. I nod quickly, twisting my face away to wipe my eyes.

“What about just standing outside? Or calling someone to pick me up?”

He stands to pace and rubs the back of his neck. “How will I know you’re safe? Would you tell me where you were going?”

“I don’t know,” I say helplessly. “I just autopilot to get away from everything sometimes.”

He twists to face me with determination. “Then we work on it. Together. You’re not alone anymore. You don’t have to face demons every day because that’s what I’m here for.”

“You’re more than that,” I protest softly.

He looks lost at that statement, unsure of what to say next.

“If I start going numb, I’ll say my safeword.” It’s the best I can offer him. I can’t promise something I might not be able to follow through on.

“You go numb before you run?”

“Most of the time. Sometimes it’s because I’m sad and I don’t want anyone to see.” I feel a sharp pain at admitting it to him and my eyes drop.

“I want to see all of your emotions. I want to be the one you come to because you know you’re safe with me, no matter how bad it is.”

“You’ll run,” I say flatly. He shakes his head hard.

“I don’t run, angel. I can’t help worrying at it until I figure it out. There’s always a solution if you keep trying.”

“I feel like a coward,” I whisper.

“You get up every day and face a hundred things I’ve never had to, angel. That’s bravery, not cowardice.”

I give him an incredulous look, but he doesn’t see it.

“Next one. Ready?”

I’m not really sure if I am, but I’m willing to listen. “Sure?”

“I want you to listen to me only. Not Trevor.”

I blink in surprise at that. How am I going to pull that off?

My hesitation makes him turn again to see my expression.

“If he demands something, you tell him you have to check with me first. If he gives you shit for it, walk away. I don’t care what it is. If he tells you to hand him a pen and you don’t like it, or you have even a second of hesitation you call or text me.”

“That’s going to get annoying for you,” I wince.

“No. It won’t.”

“There’s the set-in-stone voice again,” I sigh.

“What?” He sounds bewildered now.

“You say stuff, and it’s like a commandment or something. You chiseled it into stone and handed it to me. It’s how I know you’re serious and about to get mad if I argue.”

He chuckles lightly. I might be wrong, but it looks like he’s blushing. “Figured me out already, huh?”

“Not at all,” I giggle and look down at my curled toes. “Why?”

He follows my train of thought easily, which is weird. “Because you said you were glad that I can make his demands seem less important. I’m taking that job seriously. Very seriously.”

“Shouldn’t I deal with him on my own?” I ask with a defeated slump. “It feels like I’m using you. I don’t like it.”

“You aren’t using me. I’m setting this rule, not you. If anything, I’m a steppingstone to get to the point where you don’t need me to do it anymore.”

The end of that sentence perks my interest with the hint of vulnerability.

“It bothers you? That I might get to the point that I won’t need it?”

The muscle in his jaw clenches, and he looks away from me.

“Or it bothers you that I might get to a point where I won’t need you?” I push gently. His eyes snap to mine.

“You aren’t the only one that’s scared angel.”

My eyes widen over the words. Before I get a chance to say anything, he interrupts.

“Your turn,” he husks out and turns back to the stove.

I sit and debate what I want to say and what I might need from this relationship.

That’s what this is, I realize with a start. A relationship. Something to build on and he’s trying to make a sturdy foundation so the real work can begin. He really isn’t in this just to get off or have a laugh at my expense. The seriousness of it gives me pause, which surprises me. This is everything I’ve ever wanted and he’s offering it to me without being asked. It’s really weird. I’ve never had that with anyone I’ve dated.

The suspicions rear their ugly heads, and I wilt in my seat. It’s too good to be true. When will the other shoe drop and he reveals himself to be an arch nemesis with a mustache to twirl evilly?

I shake my head at my nonsensical thoughts and try to focus.

“I don’t know if I can give rules,” I mutter and look anywhere but at him as I stumble through it. “I can only give you things I want? Things I’ve dreamed of. If it’s too much, I understand.”

“No tightropes, angel. That’s what we’re working on. Tell me, I want to know everything.” His set-in-stone voice returns and I take a deep breath.

“I’m angry about the running rule, but I think you’re right. It is dangerous, and I don’t want to get hurt. I tend to bubblehead my way through life and I’d like that to stop. That’s my job, though, I need to do that for myself.”

“I’ll help any way you’re comfortable with.”

I nod as my brows furrow. “I agree with the Trevor thing, too. It feels like a cop-out, but I need it. You’re right about that. Within reason. The pen thing is a little silly. If I feel like I don’t need it as much, we can talk about it and move things around until we’re both ok with it.”

His shoulders drop as he takes a shuddering breath. “Thank you, angel.”

“You’re too perfect to be real and it scares me.” The words fall out of my mouth and I wince.

“I’m not perfect,” he protests as his shoulders tense up again.

“Maybe not to you,” my mind flashes back to Max’s speech about wanting me to see myself through his eyes. It clicks finally with a painful clarity. “You are to me, though. I don’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. I just want you to see you like I do.”

“I’m fucking insane over you,” I watch his hand shake as he reaches for a spice I don’t recognize.

“So? It goes both ways,” another wince as I reveal too much about my obsession with him.

“And when I fuck up? What then?” His words are tight and his movements are angry.

“You’d be just like me,” I can’t help the little giggle that comes out. “I was going to get out of your class the second day I was there.”

“Why?” He cuts in and turns to me sharply with a scowl.

“I felt connected to you and it scared me. I’m the bubble head that jumps without looking. I’m trying to fix that. You were a test I wasn’t ready for. And then you forgot to say namaste, and it made me realize that you aren’t some golden god sent from heaven. You’re a man. Simple as that. All those other women didn’t feel bad about giving you attention, so why should I?”

His brow rises as the scowl eases. “You never gave me attention.”

“Yes, I did,” I protest with a frown. “You just didn’t have your glasses on.”

“I knew I should have refilled my contacts faster,” he mutters.

“Uh oh,” I let out a full laugh. It feels freeing to do it, so I let it happen for as long as I can. “I’ll n-never know when I’m hiding or not. It’ll be a mystery.” I wiggle my fingers and he gives a surprised bark of laughter.

“If you hadn’t stood so far away, I would have seen.” He points out helpfully. I wait for him to turn back to the stove to stick out my tongue.

“I didn’t mean to get your attention. I want to be invisible.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” he laughs and I pout.

“If no one can see me, then I don’t have to deal with how hateful everyone is.”

“Yeah, that’s a part of life that sucks,” he agrees easily. It surprises me.

“Why would anyone be mean to you?” I wonder out loud and he shrugs.

“People are people, and when they see something that doesn’t fit their version of what’s right, they try to stomp it out. It doesn’t mean we break, angel. We bend and dodge so we can time the perfect hit.”

I start giggling again. “I’m not a fighter.”

“You are,” he insists and begins to plate the food. “Maybe not with your fists, but you are a fighter angel. You’re brave in a way I’ve never been, and your strength is on the inside. You just have to exercise that muscle to give it a little more oomph.”

“You are such a gym teacher,” I tease.

He turns to give me a smirk. “If an analogy works, it works.”

“Is it ok if I tease you like this? I’m not sure if it’s ok or annoying.”

“I’ll tell you if you go too far. I like it when you tease me. It makes me laugh. I don’t think I’ve had enough of that in my life.”

“I have a lot to make up for,” I give him wide eyes and bat my lashes. “How will I handle the pressure?”

He gives me a wicked grin and hands me the plate. “You’re brave. You can take it.”

I glance at the stove and frown, “Where’s your plate?”

“You do better when you eat alone. No pressure to try and finish as fast or as slow as anyone else. Just eating for the pleasure of it.”

I look at the scrambled eggs, toast, and melon. “The pleasure of it.” The words are bitter, and my lips tighten.

“Let me show you,” he drops to his knees and pulls me closer to the edge of the chair, spreading my knees wide as I gape down at him.

“What are you doing?” I ask with a squeak.

“Enjoying my breakfast,” he gives me a wicked grin and nods to the plate. “I want to see that plate empty. I’m willing to motivate you to get what I want. Let’s see how many orgasms I can give you before you finish. Take your time.”