Chapter 21 Liam #3
“How long has he been up?” She stood and walked over to me.
Her focus was on Samuel as she dipped down to give him her full attention, but my heart sang from her proximity. I loved having her here with me. I loved feeling her warmth and hearing the softness in her voice as she spoke. I loved how gentle and sweet she was.
And I was going to miss her like crazy once I did what I knew I needed to do. In order to protect her, I needed to let her go.
“He was up when I got back.”
I couldn’t help but stare at her. I wanted to memorize everything about her. I wanted to remember the wave of her hair. The soft freckles that dotted her nose. I wanted to remember the curve of her lips and the way her brown eyes darkened when she stared up at me.
“How was the gala?” she asked.
“Boring once you left.” I knew I shouldn’t be so forward, but what did it matter? Tomorrow, I was going to send her back to Harmony. Tomorrow, she was no longer going to be my assistant, and I was no longer going to hold her back. Was it wrong to hint at how I felt—how I was always going to feel?
She blinked a few times, like my answer startled her. But I could see the shift in her gaze as if she had talked herself out of something.
“Bonnie and Katie secure some sponsors for you?” She reached out and ran her hand across Samuel’s hair, smoothing the wayward strands.
“Don’t know.” I sighed. “Don’t really care.”
Her gaze was back on me. She knitted her eyebrows together before she shook her head. “You don’t mean that.”
I studied her. I wanted to tell her that I was tired of the band. That I was tired of the lifestyle. That I wanted out. But then I remembered what I owed Frankie. The state of my finances. If I didn’t pay that man off, something could happen to her. To Samuel. To Ana.
I didn’t have the luxury of quitting. This was my life until I climbed out of the hole I was currently drowning in. What did the truth matter if it didn’t change my reality?
“Yeah,” I said. “I think they got some good ones.”
Sabrina smiled and my heart sang. That was all I’d wanted from the day I walked into the library in Harmony. All I wanted was to see her smile.
“I’m happy for you.” She paused. “I wonder if you could get even more if they knew that you were Drifter.”
I loved that she knew my secret, and that I could trust her to keep it a secret.
I sucked in my breath. “Yeah, not going to do that.”
Her smile was soft and caused my heart to sing. “I figured.” She paused before she shook her head. “I still can’t believe that you’re Drifter.” She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Are you feeling okay?” I asked as I took a step closer to her.
She opened her eyes. “I just have a terrible headache.” She squinted her eyes and then closed them before she rested her forehead in her right hand.
I shifted Samuel’s weight to rest fully on my left arm and used my right hand to gently grab her free arm.
“Come on, back to bed for you,” I said. I let her put her weight on me as she moved to stand.
I didn’t let her go as I guided her to the bedroom.
I tried not to read into the fact that she didn't pull away from me.
As soon as we got to the edge of the bed, she sat down, and I moved to lay Samuel down in the bassinet.
Once he was tucked in, I shifted my attention to Sabrina, who was still sitting there with her eyes closed, looking exhausted.
When I got to her, I touched her shoulder. She opened her eyes, glanced up at me, and smiled. Guilt coated my chest as I allowed myself to smile back.
“Lie back,” I whispered as I patted the mattress to her left.
She nodded and complied, lifting her legs onto the bed before scooting up until her head was on the pillow. Her hair draped over her face and neck, so I gently brushed it back, reveling in the feeling of her soft skin under my fingertips.
I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to love her so goddamn bad. I would give anything to be the man she deserved instead of the guy who would inevitably bring her down. I wanted to be selfish, but I was done being that guy. I was going to love Sabrina enough to let her go.
“Good night,” I whispered. I committed her face to memory before pulling my hands back and taking a step toward the door.
“Liam?”
Sabrina’s voice stopped my retreat. I steeled my nerves before I responded, “Yeah?”
“Will you stay with me tonight?”
I closed my eyes and cursed the gods for doing this to me. Why was she asking this? Did she know what she was doing to me?
“Please?” she whispered.
That was all she needed to say. There was no way I could walk away from her now.
I didn’t hesitate as I made my way to the other side of the bed and climbed on top of the covers.
I wasn’t sure how close she wanted me, so I just lay there on my back with my right arm under my head and my left hand resting on my chest.
Sabrina looked over her shoulder at me. I could see the uncertainty in her gaze. I propped myself up on my left arm.
“What?” I asked. I would do anything to make her feel safe.
She frowned. “Will you…” Her voice drifted off.
I raised my eyebrows. “Will I…?”
She bit her bottom lip and dropped her gaze. “Will you hold me?” She paused before she slowly brought her gaze up to meet mine.
I knew I should say no. I should have gotten the hell off the bed and out of the room. I was going to have to let her go tomorrow. What kind of sick man would hold her the night before?
Me. Apparently, me.
I shut off my brain and acted. I nodded and shifted closer to her. She raised her arm so I could slide my arm under and wrap it firmly around her waist. I pulled her to me until her back was pressed against my chest.
I inhaled the sweet scent of her hair and closed my eyes.
Tomorrow, I would fire her. I would walk away. I would act like I didn’t care about her to make sure that she left.
Tomorrow, I would face my reality.
But, tonight, it was going to be about me and her.
Tonight, she was all that mattered.