Chapter 18
‘Jesus H, what the hell does she want?’ mutters Stella, and I assume that she too is witnessing the influencer flirting with her brother. Again. Bloody Croissants. Em and I are standing, wide-eyed, watching as Croissants paws all over Luke. I know I should be pulling Stella aside for The Conversation but I’ve been blindsided by the current scene, and now I’m staring helplessly at Croissant’s hair. It’s loose today, fanning out around her sculptured shoulders, and I can see a croissant-shaped necklace hanging around her neck. She toys with it while she talks to Luke, which seems to involve her having one hand on his bicep. He looks both uncomfortable and like he’s trying to be polite so as not to upset a hotel guest.
‘You going to go and give her what for again, Stell?’ asks Emerald.
But Stella, I realise, is glaring at her phone.
‘Huh?’ She looks up, brow furrowed, before returning to her phone. ‘Sorry, guys, terrible timing but my assistant has sent classified information to the wrong person and cc-d me on the email. Shit. I need to sort this asap.’ She waves her phone around as if hunting for signal. ‘I’m going to have to go deal with this.’
‘Oh no, wait, I was hoping we could, erm, have a chat?’ I say.
Stella frowns. ‘Everything okay, Jess? Because I love you and I’m here for you and I would love to chat, but unless you’re facing imminent danger then I really do need to go and deal with this work cock-up.’
She glances back at her phone and her frown gets deeper.
‘Oh Christ, there’s a pile-on. The emails are flying in now. Fucking hell, handling this mess is going to take all night. Sorry, Jess, what was it you wanted to say?’
There’s no way Stella will appreciate me keeping her away from work drama just because I want to hook up with her little brother. I’ll have to find another time and another place.
‘I’m fine, Stell, it can totally wait,’ I insist. ‘Can we help in any way?’
‘Thanks, but I don’t think so. I’m going to head back to ours now,’ she says.
‘Babes,’ Em says, pulling a sad face, ‘we’ll miss you.’
‘Have fun for me. Late night! Maybe a kebab!’ she calls as she hurries off with her phone glued to her ear.
‘Shit,’ I mutter. ‘I really wanted to talk to Stell.’
‘Hate to say it, Jessie, but right now you’ve got bigger problems,’ Em points out, nodding back towards Croissants, who’s hand has now migrated to Luke’s shoulder.
‘She looks like Sandy from Grease in the best possible way,’ I sigh, taking in all that skin-tight leather and ultra-high sandals. ‘How can she walk through the woods in those heels?’
Em clicks her fingers impatiently. ‘Never mind how she looks,’ she says, ‘what about the fact that she’s all over Luke? Again.’
‘I don’t love it,’ I say darkly. ‘And do you know what? Zodiac Girlie told me that today it’s time for “big moves”. So I’m going to big move my way right over there and deal with this immediately.’
‘Yes, Jessie! Get it, girl.’ Em is delighted. And then, when it becomes clear that I have not moved from my spot, she adds: ‘What are we going to do? I’m assuming I’m helping? I could fake an emergency, tell her the police are looking for her, something like that?’
‘Could be a bit extreme?’ I say. ‘I want to get rid of her, not make her feel like she’s about to be arrested.’
‘You never know, maybe she totally deserves it.’ Em sniffs. ‘Perhaps she’s the head of a criminal underworld. Just look at her hair, it’s very suspicious.’
‘So shiny,’ I concur. ‘What’s she even doing here, Em? It’s meant to be a staff party.’
‘Perhaps I can help,’ says the dude behind the bar, pouring pints.
‘I’m sorry, but we weren’t talking to you,’ Em says, quite dismissively, when she realises some random man has been tuning in to our conversation.
But something about this person gets my attention. I turn to look at him, eyes narrowing.
‘You can help?’ I say.
‘Yes,’ he replies with a big grin and a noticeably Spanish slash German accent.
‘Oh my god,’ I whisper, mouth wide open. ‘Dita? Is that you?’
‘Hello, Yessica,’ says the person behind the bar, a big and very Hollywood smile now lighting up their face. ‘I came in disguise. It is very good, no?’
‘Dita Ortiz?’ Em practically shouts while we both try to shush her.
‘It is I.’ Dita extends a beautifully manicured hand with a flourish. Other than the perfectly lacquered nails, her disguise is first class. Those famous dark curls have been hidden under a choppy wig, her face now framed with glasses and a pretend beard. She’s also wearing a baggy T-shirt and jeans, which make her look like approximately half the other people at this barbecue. ‘Although tonight, my name is Derek.’
‘Derek?’ I splutter.
‘Is very British, no?’
‘So tell me, Derek, what are you doing?’ I ask.
‘I wanted to be with the normal people and come to the party, but I did not want to make a fuss,’ she says. ‘And sometimes it is so fun being incognito for the night.’
‘This is amazing,’ whispers Em.
‘I wanted to pull the pints for an evening. I take notes for my next role, perhaps.’
‘You’ll be working in a bar for your next role?’ asks Em.
‘It is unlikely.’ She sighs. ‘Producers, they tell me I am too glamorous for bar work. It is outrageous, I think. But always, I take notes, just in case.’
An idea is forming at the back of my mind. I chance another look at Luke, who catches my eye and pulls an apologetic face at me as Croissants continues to hog his company.
‘Dita, sorry, Derek, I really think you can help. Luke’s been commandeered by a hot influencer and I need to get her away from him, asap, because tonight is meant to be our night and honestly, if I don’t get some time with Luke soon I’m going to pop like a helium balloon. Pop, I tell you!’
Em puts a calming hand on my shoulder and grimaces at Dita.
‘Poor thing. She’s got it bad,’ she explains.
Dita nods sympathetically.
‘And there’s one thing I know Croissants will prioritise over flirting with hot dudes,’ I say once I’ve taken a breath.
‘I know exactly where you’re going with this. Genius.’ Em grins, before sipping from the pint of mostly froth Dita hands her and spluttering.
‘What is it?’ Dita asks.
‘Selfies with celebrities,’ I say. ‘Have you seen her socials? Any chance she has of posting a picture with someone “of note” and she’s all over it.’
‘Yes, she has been trying to talk to me all week.’ Dita scrunches up her nose. ‘So far I run away, or send Viktor to distract her.’
‘Who’s Viktor?’ I ask, feeling like I’m missing something.
Dita nods towards the man standing next to her, dressed in an identical outfit except for the pair of reflective aviator sunglasses on his face. ‘My bodyguard. He comes everywhere with me.’
‘No, sure.’ I nod. ‘Of course.’ Actually, come to think of it, there is always someone loitering a short distance away from Dita every time I see her. When we first met in the library, I’d assumed another hotel guest had come in at the same time as Dita, but now I realise it was her bodyguard.
He tips his head at me once in acknowledgement, arms folded across his chest.
‘Cute,’ Em says, eyeing up Viktor. ‘You remind me of Wills’ bodyguard.’
‘Sorry, who’s Will?’ I ask.
‘You know Wills, married to Kate?’
‘Are you talking about Prince actual William?’
Em shrugs. ‘We’ve only hung out a couple of times, don’t get excited. Tell me, Viktor, how often do you work out?’
Viktor remains unmoving, his stare fixed on the middle distance, but I swear I see his mouth twitch the tiniest bit at this blatant display of flirting from Em.
‘Em, could we focus please?’
‘Of course,’ she demurs. ‘So we already know that Croissants is desperate to get a picture with Dita, right?’
‘Yes, and that Dita’s here in the best disguise ever.’
Dita nods. ‘Derek Orb,’ she says.
‘Do we really think Orb is an actual surname?’ ponders Em.
‘That’s not important right now!’ I say, starting to get a smidge exasperated.
‘Wow, someone’s getting antsy.’
‘Point is,’ I plough on, ‘no one here will have any clue who Derek really is. All we need to do is let Croissants know that Dita Ortiz has been spotted somewhere else in the hotel – anywhere but here – and she’ll be off in a flash. Don’t you think?’
‘Hmm, she has seen me in the hotel already,’ Dita says. ‘Maybe you could tell her that I wish to speak to her? I think that will work.’
‘Yes!’ Em beams. ‘Love this. She’ll go off on a fruitless mission to find Dita leaving you clear to bone Luke.’
Viktor clears his throat politely.
Dita produces another pint of froth and hands it to me. ‘And who will tell this influencer of my fake location?’
‘Ooh, can I? I would love nothing more than to dispatch that pastry-based bell-end,’ says Em.
‘Actually, I think I’d like to do it if that’s okay?’ I say.
‘Mate, of course. Bit of Dutch courage first?’
She nods towards Dita’s pint with a smirk, and I take a regretful sip. So frothy. But still, I feel fortified as I roll my shoulders back and stride over to rescue Luke.
‘Jess, hi.’ Luke looks incredibly relieved when I join the group. ‘God, you look—’
‘Oh sorry, we’re having a private chat,’ Croissants interrupts, looking me up and down dismissively.
I stand my ground.
‘I’m actually a big fan,’ I tell her truthfully. Or at least I used to be until she repeatedly had her hands all over the man I like.
‘Oh, so sweet,’ she says, and I can see the facade slip over her face as she goes into professional influencer mood. ‘Would you like a selfie, honey?’
‘Erm, thank you,’ I hedge, as she pulls a small knitted croissant out of her bag and hands it to me.
I wince at Luke. I’d forgotten that she takes this prop with her everywhere, handing it to anyone she’s photographed with.
Reluctantly, I take the croissant while she grabs my phone and starts titling her head to the left to get her angles just right, while I’m stood here, holding a knitted croissant like a total loser. But with reason, I remind myself.
‘I’m doing so well for selfies with famous people tonight,’ I fib, feeling a bit bad for lying.
‘Really?’ Croissants casts around hopefully.
‘Mm hm. I met Dita Ortiz back at the hotel bar on my way over here. She was very friendly when I asked her for a picture. Oh, that reminds me, she said she was hoping to see you tonight, so I said I’d keep an eye out for you, and let you know if I saw you.’
‘Really?’ Croissants eyes have widened.
‘Yep. She said she’d be at the bar all evening, I think she’s reading scripts. She had her laptop with her.’
‘Maybe she wants a selfie too,’ Croissants suggests, already hitching her bag up over her shoulder. ‘Even Hollywood megastars can’t get enough of me these days. Mind you, is it any surprise when you look this good?’
And just like that I’m feeling less bad about fibbing to Croissants.
She hastily hands my phone back. ‘Feel free to post that, honey, and don’t forget to hashtag croissants! And like and subscribe to my channels! Buh-bye, nice to meet you.’
And she’s gone.
YES! SUCCESS! See ya later, Croissants.
‘Jessica Jones.’ Luke looks impressed. ‘Did you just make that up? To get rid of her?’
‘What makes you think I was lying?’ I challenge.
‘You had this look on your face I hadn’t seen before.’
‘What look?’
‘Kind of mischievous. And you were blinking a lot.’
‘Probably hay fever.’
He folds his arms with a smile.
‘Fine, I may have been telling a small fib,’ I concede.
‘My knight in shining armour,’ he says, pressing a hand against his chest. ‘I needed rescuing, persistent croissants are my least favourite.’
I chuckle. ‘How do you feel about persistent pains au chocolat?’
‘Oh same.’ He laughs. ‘The only thing that’s persistent round here is my desire to spend more time with you. I was going to say beautiful, by the way.’
‘You’ve lost me.’
‘When you turned up. I was going to say that you look beautiful. The prettiest knight I ever saw.’
I can feel my cheeks flush at this.
‘Look, I even brought my own chainmail,’ I say, thumbing the diamond chain around my waist.
‘I noticed,’ he says in that deep voice of his, running his finger along the chain, which makes me gasp. ‘You’ve been distracting me since you got here and now, I would very much like to finally buy you a drink, if you’ll let me?’
Luke orders two drinks while Emerald makes a beeline for Ryan and I grab a couple of free deckchairs.
‘Nice guy, that Derek,’ Luke says, handing me a glass of wine and setting his own bottle of beer down on the ground between us. He sits down next to me, his legs spread wide. ‘Weird accent though.’
I turn to see Dita/Derek giving me an exuberant thumbs-up and bite my lip.
‘Absolutely terrible at pulling pints, too.’
‘Mm, I already learned that the hard way. It’s like a mini festival, here,’ I say. Everyone’s gone all out with what they’re wearing. I spot Julian, the man who first showed us round and introduced me to the weird and wonderful world of mood showers, in a skin-tight animal print onesie plus headdress. I definitely did not need to feel worried about being overdressed.
‘It’s the first night we’ve had to let loose since we started so everyone’s gone big. I’m so glad you came, Jess,’ he says, not looking at the crowd at all, eyes trained instead on me.
I feel like I melt under his gaze.
Luke pops the cap off his beer – v sexy move – and I say: ‘I wasn’t going to miss this.’
‘Are you feeling better, after that spin class?’ he asks, eyes briefly flickering down to the thigh he iced.
‘Much,’ I swallow. ‘Thank you. And I went coasteering today which really helped.’
‘It did?’
‘Yes, basically everything hurts now instead of just my legs.’
‘Good strategy.’ He laughs softly. ‘Just spread the pain out.’ Then he holds his drink up and says: ‘Cheers. To being here, together.’
‘I’ll cheers to that,’ I say, holding my drink up.
‘You have to maintain eye contact,’ he says. ‘Otherwise it’s seven years of bad sex.’
I splutter, very much not expecting this, and now all I can think about is smashing Luke, as Emerald would say, and it’s got me so giddy that I can’t think straight. Luke and I are still holding each other’s gaze, his eyebrow arched, the beginning of a smile playing at his lips, when I finally remember I should actually clink his beer bottle.
‘To being here together,’ I say.
‘Mate!’ A couple of the guys I saw Luke with earlier bound over. ‘There you are. Want to get some food?’
Only then does Luke break eye contact, by which point I feel like we actually were having sex with our eyes alone. He begins to say no to his mates, explains that he’s kind of busy here, but my stomach is rumbling and we do have all night.
‘I am actually pretty hungry,’ I confess.
‘Yes, Luke’s friend! I’m Liam, by the way. Let’s go.’
Luke hooks his fingers into mine as we follow them over to the outdoor kitchen.
‘Just so you know, I’m going to kill Liam for interrupting us,’ he says quietly.
I turn and give his arm a playful tug.
‘Come on, it’ll be fun. Besides, the night is young.’
‘I’m going to hold you to that, Jess,’ he growls.
A group of us grab plates and pile them high with salads, breads and various grilled things. And when someone finds a spot on the long picnic table for us all, Luke makes a beeline for me, taking the spot next to mine. The heat from his body drives me quietly insane.
‘Here you go, man,’ says Liam, dishing out some grilled mushrooms onto Luke’s plate. ‘Has he bored you about being a vegan yet, Jess?’
‘Mate,’ Luke groans, as if he’s not thrilled with being the subject of the conversation.
I laugh. ‘I wouldn’t say that he’s bored me about it,’ I counter.
‘So he has.’ Liam grins. ‘Did he tell you that he did a ton of research into it back when he was playing tennis competitively? How he realised that there were loads of reasons why going plant-based could help his performance?’
I try not to focus too hard on Luke’s ‘performance’ and instead bump shoulders with Luke, who is looking slightly mutinous now.
‘Honestly, I’m interested. I’ve been thinking about going vegan for a while now.’
Luke looks at me, says: ‘I didn’t know that.’
‘I keep watching programmes on Netflix about how it’s meant to be really good for longevity,’ I confess sheepishly.
‘Me too!’ Luke says. ‘There’s been a lot of really interesting research in that field recently.’
I’m nodding along.
‘Oh man, you should propose immediately,’ says Liam, watching us. ‘You two are made for each other.’
‘All right, all right,’ says Luke, and he gives me this bashful look, and honestly, I do not know what to do with myself now.
‘We’re not actually, erm, together,’ I say.
‘Oh shit, sorry. You really look like you are,’ Liam says.
‘Yeah, well, I’m working on it,’ Luke says.
I turn to look at him, his eyes burning right into my soul.
Liam whistles.
And I don’t really have the vocabulary to deal with this, so instead I ask Luke how his cookery class with Stella went.
‘She’s convinced that I can’t cook, for some reason.’ He rubs his head. ‘I don’t know why, I’ve survived this long cooking for myself.’
‘What’s your go-to meal, then?’ I ask.
‘I do a mean avocado on toast.’
‘Is there much cooking involved in that? Or is it more just toasting breading and then putting things on top of it.’
‘Ouch!’ He laughs. ‘I also do nachos with grilled vegan cheese.’
‘Again,’ I say. ‘That’s just putting things on top of things and applying heat.’
Luke leans back, folds his arms across his chest. ‘All right then, what culinary delights do you have on offer?’
‘I like to cook. Risottos, ramens, and I do a great veggie chilli.’
He considers this.
‘It’s a date, then,’ he says.
I give him a quizzical look.
‘You make the chilli, I’ll bring the nachos.’
‘Okay.’ I grin, heart soaring at the thought of a proper date, just the two of us. ‘And maybe while we’re there you can teach me how to put things on toast.’
Luke shakes his head at me with a smile.
‘You should be,’ butts in Liam, who I’d entirely forgotten was across the table from us.
‘Sorry?’ I ask.
‘Together, I mean,’ he says, looking at Luke and me. ‘Just saying.’
I spot the bonfire on my way back from the loo. It’s just been lit, crackling slowly in a clearing away from the rest of the party. It’s not yet dark and everyone else is still eating and drinking over by the outdoor kitchen area. A few others have started dancing near the speakers, and I see Emerald in quite a compromising position with Ryan en route to the toilet. She gives me a thumbs-up as I walk past.
On my way back to Luke, I decide to text Stella. She’s still not back and it’s been ages.
Everything okay? X
Fine, only just sorted work drama out.
Yikes. Want me to come and get you?
I think I might bail
What? No! It’s so fun here!
We miss you
I know, I know
Fran’s just messaged – really think it’s time we had a proper chat
Just want to clear the air tbh
Going to call her shortly x
I get that
Love you Stell, hope it goes okay
Clearly, my own heart to heart with Stella is going to have to wait, I realise as I sit back down next to Luke. But that doesn’t mean my entire night has to be put on hold, does it? I reason that we’ve waited long enough, that we deserve some time together.
‘Will you come with me?’ I ask.
‘Anywhere,’ he says. I hold out my hand and he takes it and we leave his group of mates behind, and I swear I hear Liam saying ‘go on, son’ as we move off. I lead the way back to the bonfire, and we stand alone there together, watching the flames, his fingers twined through mine.
‘You must stop rescuing me like this,’ Luke says.
And it’s now. I can sense it.
I look up to read his expression, a soft smile playing on his lips as he watches the flames crackle in front of us. He turns to look at me too, the fire reflected in his eyes. And the smile on his face turns into something else entirely. Pure desire. I let go of his hand, step myself closer in towards him, tip my head up like an invitation.
He takes it.
This is no gentle, inquisitive kiss. After the longest wait, he kisses me like he’s hungry, teeth grazing my lip. My whole body responds and I sigh, which seems to send Luke into a whole other gear. He lifts me up, carries me around to the other side of the bonfire so that no one can see us now, and my lips don’t leave his. My hands run though his hair, breathless with wanting him. Finally he sets me down, sitting himself down on the grassy clearing beside the bonfire and pulling me lightly towards him. I’m laughing as I sit in his lap. And I pause, fireworks exploding all over me, wanting to take him in. He’s so beautiful, I feel like I need to pinch myself in this moment.
‘Luke,’ I whisper, breathless.
He leans back, hands in the grass behind him.
‘I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long,’ he says, finding my lips again. It’s intoxicating, this sensation, and we stay like this for a long while, taking short breaks every now and then to look at each other, to smile, to appreciate what is finally happening between us. ‘I have not been waiting patiently,’ he adds.
This makes me laugh.
‘Me neither. It’s felt like the longest, what, six days?’
‘Agreed,’ he murmurs, hands down my back. ‘But I also can’t believe it’s only that long. I feel like I know you, Jess.’
And he’s right. It’s been such a short time, and we’re only just getting to know each other, but I also feel like there is a bond between us. Maybe it’s because I already knew him through Stella, because he’s my best friend’s family? In many ways I feel like Luke has been a part of my life way longer than this past week at the hotel. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but when Luke says he knows me, the feeling is mutual. And I’ve got so many questions, like where do we go from here? What’s next, for us, if there is going to be an us. But now is not the time for questions. The bonfire roars nearby and Luke’s mouth is on my throat, my chest. Instinctively I move my hands up inside his shirt and gasp at the feel of him. He closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them to look at me his pupils are dilated.
‘Jess,’ he says, pinning me to the spot with that steel-grey gaze. ‘Will you come back to mine now, please?’
‘You cannot imagine how much I want to do that,’ I say. ‘It’s a lot, by the way. A lot . I just … I really need to talk to Stella first.’
He pushes his hair back, puffs his cheeks out while he exhales. ‘I get that,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘I mean, I wish we didn’t have that to deal with, more than I’ve wished anything. Ever.’ His eyes trail over me like I’m dinner. I climb off him then, because this position is not helping either of us focus.
He lets out a low groan and I sit down next to him, biting my lip.
‘Me too,’ I say, barely able to look at him without wanting to pounce. The invitation back to his is right there, so tantalisingly close. I could just go. It will be, without a shadow of a doubt, the best night of my life. If kissing here by the bonfire is the starter then I can’t even begin to imagine what the main course will feel like. I swallow, hard. ‘But it’s only right that we make sure she’s okay with this before it gets any—’
‘Hotter,’ Luke suggests, giving me a wistful look.
‘I was going to say further’ – I grin – ‘but yes. Definitely that.’
He leans forward now, rests those long arms of his on his legs.
‘You’re right,’ he says, looking off into the distance. ‘You’re a good friend, Jess. We could do it together, maybe tomorrow?’
‘Yeah.’ I nod, very much distracted by the way he’s still breathing that little bit quicker than normal. Meanwhile, my heart is still pounding.
‘So, do you want to head back to the party?’ he asks, flashing me that look again.
‘We could just stay here?’ I suggest. ‘Do some more of … this. It’s not the worst way to spend an eve—’
Luke does not argue and I do not get to finish my sentence. I don’t know how long we stay here like this for, but sometime later fellow partiers start migrating to the bonfire. Someone hands us drinks. There’s laughter and more music and here comes Em, reeling me towards her with some exuberant dance moves. My cheeks hurt from laughing as we swirl together, safe in the knowledge that Luke is never far away. My own personal beacon of happiness.