20. Elijah
20
Elijah
I swear, I could hear a pin drop in this house. Tapping my fingers on my stomach, I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. It’s been so quiet, I could barely stand it. No one wants to say anything to each other and if this goes on any longer, I’ll end up pulling my hair out.
I picked up my professional camera and began scrolling through the pictures I had saved. I’ve taken some photos since I got here, but not many.
I took a moment to admire the landscape photos I’ve been able to snag. The sunset on the lake looks beautiful, and I’m happy to say I’ve taken some close-up pictures of some of the plants outside. I bit my lip as I zoomed into the last picture. I had taken a photo of the back of the house. It’s always so beautiful with all the windows looking towards the lake. I didn’t even notice Tobias was standing there looking outside.
He didn’t spot me either which is nice. I had taken a picture of him just observing the beautiful view.
Beauty observing beauty, ha. How ironic.
A wave of guilt washed over me.
Tobias’s words in the kitchen the other day were haunting me. Thinking about our time in high school, I can’t help but feel like maybe he’s been right. It was partly my fault.
Truthfully, when we got to high school and I saw how close he was getting to the other football kids, I put him in a box. Sure, he stopped talking to me but it’s true that I barely put in any effort either…if at all.
It wasn’t only his fault.
I picked up my phone and opened up the restaurant's TikTok account. After “Daddy Gate” happened, our 1K followers jumped to 8K. I loaded up the screen and my eyes went wide. Sitting up, I realized we hit 15K followers on TikTok. I scrolled down to see the latest video that I uploaded. The video I had edited before coming here was our top post with over a million views. It’s no surprise that it’s the one with Tobias in most of the clips.
Not only did the food and restaurant look fantastic in the video, he looked amazing. Okay, so I uploaded it taking the chance he wouldn’t mind and woah, it paid off.
1.2M views! This is insane. I opened the comments and started scrolling through.
K. Fitzgerald: Who is this blonde hottie???
Pence101: Does he do weddings?? (As the groom)
Laur??: In babyblueeyedboy we trust ???
Coco’sgirl: why is he so hot and booktok coded
GabeD: I’m obsessed!!!!
I stopped scrolling. Gabe? The Gabe from Tobias’s phone? I clicked on his profile and sure enough, I saw that they were mutual friends. Of course, Tobias didn’t have any videos up but he sure did have a lot of followers.
I felt my blood start to boil. This Gabe kid doesn’t even know Tobias. Does he think they’re friends or something?
I grinded my teeth. Following the link in Gabe’s profile, I started looking at his Instagram.
Gabe was…good looking. Objectively, speaking. He was older, clearly tall, with arms covered in tattoos, artsy, and into horror movies like I am. Fuck!
I bet he wasn’t a total dick all the time, compared to someone else Tobias knows.
I rolled face-first into my bed and punched my pillow a few times.
I bet they’re talking right now. I bet Tobias is sitting in bed, talking and laughing with Gabe, and here I am just sitting on the other side of the wall letting it happen.
Tobias is going to fall in love with this guy who isn’t half as decent as Tobias is, and he’s going to be stuck in a shitty relationship all because I let it happen.
I felt my breathing pick up. If I didn’t calm down soon, I was going to have a panic attack.
I walked over to my mirror across the room and looked at myself, taking deep breaths.
Get a grip, Elijah.
I fixed my hair and ran a hand down my long T-shirt. I looked fine.
Taking another big breath, I opened the door to my room and headed for Tobias’s room.
Did I have a plan? No. But, I have to do something.
Knocking a couple of times, I realized he wasn’t in there.
I walked downstairs noticing that dad was in the kitchen, playing cards by himself at the table.
Looking out the back window, I spotted Tobias on the deck, hood up, earphones in, scrolling through his phone as he lounged in a chair.
“You should leave him be,” Dad said, interrupting my stare.
“Oh, yeah. I was just–” What was I doing exactly?
“I’ve been too easy on him. I see that now.” Dad said, placing cards in their separate rows. I guess Solitaire was his game of choice tonight.
I stuffed my hands in my shorts pockets and slowly walked up to join him at the table.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“He has a lot of growing to do still.”
“Well, we all do dad. I think you’ve forgotten how young we are.” I shrugged, trying to make sense.
“What he did to you was–” He began.
“—wrong but it was in the past.” I finished. “Plus, it was something that happened between him and I. We’ve got to sort that out between us. This has nothing to do with you.” I squinted. I’ve never spoken to him like this but he needed to hear it.
“I just…expected more from him.” Dad shrugged, placing more cards down.
“Why?” I asked.
He looked up at me, as though he was surprised by that question.
“Why do you expect so much from him? Did he ask for you to hold him to such a high standard or did you force that on him?” I asked.
Dad opened his mouth to answer.
“I guess I take his mistakes to heart.” He muttered. “A huge part of me wishes I was there for him more. He’s always been such a great kid…seeing him make a mistake is just a reminder of how much I wasn’t there for him when I should’ve been.” He said looking down.
I guess I understood that. “Well, you can’t put all of that on your shoulders. His mistakes are not yours, and honestly, you being so mean like this over a mistake he made sounds a whole lot like something his dad would do. ” I blurted.
Dad’s eyes widened, and I immediately felt sorry for my slip-up. Dammit, he was nothing like Derrick Voss.
Laying my hand on his, I corrected myself. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry…” I breathed. dad's shoulders relaxed as he looked down at his hand in mine. “You’re not his dad,” I said sympathetically, shaking my head.
Just then, I heard the back door close.
I turned to see Tobias walk in, his red eyes flicking toward us before he silently headed upstairs to his room.
Fuck, did he hear what I said out of context?
I took my hand back from my dad’s and ran up the stairs after him.
“Tobias,” I said knocking on the door. I knocked again with no answer.
Opening the door slightly, I peered in. There he was lying on the bed facing away from the door. I could hear the music from his earphones blasting from over here.
Looking down, I closed the door and left him alone, giving him space.