22. Elijah
22
Elijah
“You’re going to go and see a movie? Together?” Dad squinted at me.
It was early in the daytime, which truthfully would be the perfect time of day to spend outside, but Tobias and I were on a mission.
“Yeah, it’s the newest Terrifier movie, and Tobias has been going on and on about how he has to see it. I caved. It’s the only way to shut him up.” I shrugged.
“But the movie theater is a few hours from here,” Dad said, looking outside. “You’re going to miss the whole day.”
I put my hands on my hips and looked down at him. “Why? Did you have an idea of something you wanted to do with us? We’re all for hanging out with you all day.” I said.
He looked from me to Tobias and then down at his phone in his lap. “No, you two should go ahead. Have fun.”
I clenched my teeth. He was being a big baby. I can’t believe this.
Whatever, at least it worked for our plan. “Okay, we’ll see you later tonight. Remember, it’s your turn to cook dinner this time.” I shouted.
Tobias followed me out the door as we hopped into my car. I missed driving it, so this was nice.
“Ready for a little road trip?” I said, starting up the car.
“Let’s hit the road.” Tobias smiled beside me in the passenger seat. I have to admit, I was a little excited for today.
A few hours alone with Tobias is something I haven’t been able to have in years. This guy was my other half for so long. I’d be lying if I wasn’t curious how it’d be to just…talk. Alone.
The backroads are beautiful this time of year. Tall green trees and huge rocks align the roads back here. Every break in the trees, you’ll see big bodies of water. It’s beautiful.
“Do you remember when we used to stick our heads out the windows like dogs when we were kids, and dad would just let us?” I laughed.
“Yeah, except for that one time those bikers totally tailed us for hours.” Tobias laughed, holding his stomach.
“They were so mad. Those weirdos. Who gets mad at little kids?” I laughed, shaking my head.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, turning into the nearest Tim Hortons. We had skipped breakfast, so I knew he must’ve been starving.
“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
“Blueberry muffin and Caramel Macchiato, right?” I remembered.
“Right.” He smiled.
I ordered for us and got us both driving on the road.
“How’d you remember my favorites?” Tobias smiled, taking a huge bite out of his muffin.
I smiled back, licking my lips before taking a big sip out of my frozen lemonade. “You’d remember mine, wouldn’t you?” I asked.
He breathed out, looking back to the road. “Yeah, of course. You love lemonades. French toast and bacon for breakfast. Iris is your favorite flower, and Donnie Darko is one of your favorite movies. Which we have to talk about, by the way, because I watched it, and I am completely lost about the ending.”
I looked at him, shocked, before returning my view to the road. “Okay, Mr. You get an A+ for knowing all things Elijah-related.” I laughed. “You know, the ending is spelled out for you, right? He died so they can live.”
I looked over at him, who was laughing into his muffin. “Yeah, okay.” He said sarcastically. “My favorite flowers are sunflowers, by the way.”
“You’re too much.” I laughed. This guy was going to drive me off the road.
***
A few hours into the drive, one thing was made very obvious.
We have loads in common still. Like, a lot.
It seems like the things that I had thought I knew about him have grown and morphed into an older, funnier, wittier version of Tobias, who I liked even more.
He’s only gotten cooler, which makes me even angrier that we stopped talking in high school. He would’ve been such a great guy to know.
I bit my lip. We were getting closer to town, meaning it was almost time to see Gwen.
“I wanted to talk to you about something before we got to Gwen,” I said.
Tobias nodded his head, slipping his macchiato into the coffee holder. “Sure. Shoot.”
I breathed in. “I’m sorry I left like that after we uh – did what we did.” I blurted.
This came as a surprise to him, clearly. He looked back to the road and took a big breath in.
“I wasn’t expecting that.” He muttered.
“I know.” I gripped the steering wheel. “But you deserved an apology for that. I just…I didn’t quite understand what happened, and I had to figure out how to do it. For myself.”
“And did you?”
I looked at him and then back at the road. “Did I what?”
“Figure whatever it was out?”
I sighed. “Honestly? I think so. A bit? I tried googling it.”
“You googled?” Tobias giggled.
“Shut up. This is serious.” I said, jokingly slapping him on the arm.
“You’re right, you’re right. Tell me. What’d you google?”
“Well, I wanted to know why I felt such a strong connection when we did what we did, but I had never really had that before. I’m pretty open to any gender, but I realize now that I can only really feel attracted to them if we have a strong bond. Otherwise, it’s kind of…pointless for me.” I gulped. I can’t believe I was saying this out loud.
“Oh.” He stated.
“Yeah…It’s called Demisexual. There’s a whole name and everything.” I smiled.
“I understand.” He nodded. I looked at him quickly to see his facial expression.
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m thankful you told me. I was worried you hated it or you hated that it happened with me.”
This made me laugh.
“What?” He asked.
“It’s just funny that you were worried about me hating that it happened with you; meanwhile, it made me realize how much I liked it because it was with you.” I smiled, parking the car.
We arrived.
“What about you? Did you figure it out?” I asked, turning towards him.
Tobias opened his mouth, obviously fighting with himself over how to answer that question.
I reached my hand out quickly to rest it on his. “Hey. The best part is that you don’t have to define anything if you don’t want to. Or do. It’s your decision whenever you want. No rush and no pressure.” I smiled.
He swallowed hard, nodding his head. I hope my words gave him some comfort.
“Let’s go in.” I signaled towards the building door.
***
“Oh my gosh, my boys.” Gwen hopped off her office chair and ran over to us both, wrapping her arms around our shoulders and pulling us in.
Both of us wrapped our arms around her waist, pulling her close. I didn’t realize how much I missed seeing her, too. Her presence is so warm and comforting.
“It’s so nice to see you.” I said, relieved.
“I missed you.” Tobias smiled, breaking the hug to look down at her. I could tell his eyes were watery. He spent more time with her than I did, so it makes sense that they have a deeper bond. She rested her hand on his cheek and then added her other hand to mine.
“I’m honored you two came all this way to come and see me.” She said, leaning back on her desk ledge. I suppose she’s the secretary, so her little station was smack dab right in the middle. “So. Want to go out to eat or something? I’m almost done for the day.”
“We can eat when we get back to the cottage.” Elijah nodded his head.
“Wait…” Her smile fell. “Oh no, Elijah, I think you got the wrong message on our phone call.” She shook her head.
I looked at Tobias, who was looking at me, pained and shocked.
Fuck.
“What do you mean?? You’re supposed to come back. You said you wished you’d be able to be there with us, and I told you I was coming to you.”
“Yeah, I thought as a visit. I didn’t mean I’d drop everything to come all that way for a man who doesn’t even want to see me.” She blurted. She covered her mouth.
“Why wouldn’t he want to see you?” Tobias squinted his eyes.
“It’s…not my place. I think your dad is dealing with a lot right now, and he doesn’t want me to be mixed up in everything.”
“What is he dealing with? Is he in trouble with the restaurant?”
“Elijah. You have to speak with your father. Not to me.” She said, urging me out the door.
“No! If you cared about my dad, you wouldn’t just let him push you away like this.”
“Elijah–”
“No.” I slapped his hands in the doorway, forcing her to listen. “Dad is just like me, and trust me, take it from someone who pushes people away when they’re scared of something good. Who pushes people away when they don’t know how good they’ve got it. Don’t let him mess up like I have. Don’t. You can’t let him.” I begged.
“Elijah. I’m at work.” Gwen pleaded. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me in for a long embrace. “You’ve got to go.”
I hugged her tightly, trying to stop the tears from coming. I can’t believe she’s saying no.
“Okay, I’ll leave. But just know, you’re making a huge mistake.” I said, shaking my head.
“Elijah.” She sighed, obviously affected by my words.
“Bye, Gwen.” Tobias waved sadly.
We both left her office in silence and returned to the car empty-handed.