Chapter 10
The hiccough in the morning was long forgotten by the time they sat down to a late lunch at an Italian spot that Nolan had chosen.
They’d run some errands and hit the grocery store.
Nolan had told him to scoop some kiwis into a bag and then had to rescue him when he’d stood frozen with the creepy-feeling fruit in his hand.
“That does not feel the way it tastes,” he’d whispered to Nolan, completely freaked out. Nolan had pressed a kiss to his half-open mouth, chuckling at him.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll peel your kiwis for you.”
Kai was sure there was a dirty joke in there somewhere, but he hadn’t gotten over his alarm.
Kai pushed the cart, putting his feet up on the bar and coasting down the aisles like a kid, watching as Nolan added all sorts of things he’d never even heard of while Nolan grilled him on what he liked.
Any other time, Kai would have assumed he knew the answer to that question but looking down at the half-full cart, he realized that he probably didn’t even know a fraction of what was out there to like.
That was how he felt now, sitting across from Nolan, who felt just a little too far away.
The restaurant seemed pretty casual, but it was far nicer than anything he’d ever been to.
He perused the menu, most of which he didn’t know anything about, while trying not to look at the prices.
How was he supposed to make a decision when he didn’t know what anything was?
He supposed he could choose the spaghetti—a safe bet, but it felt like a wasted opportunity.
“See anything you like?” Nolan murmured.
Kai flushed pink, shifting in his seat. How could he say that a two-page menu overwhelmed him?
“Want me to pick something for you?”
Kai shut his menu with relief, nodding eagerly.
“Use your words, baby.”
“Yes, please.”
In the end, Nolan ordered them a cheesy garlic bread, a caprese salad, lasagna for himself and chicken parmesan for Kai. Once the waiter had departed, Kai leaned across the table.
“Daddy, can I sit beside you?” he asked quietly. They hadn’t talked about whether or not Nolan minded if he called him that in public, but he’d already done it twice and Nolan seemed unfazed.
Nolan pushed out the chair beside him so that Kai could slip into it.
He reached for Kai’s hand and held it on top of his thigh while Kai leaned back, observing the room.
The front of the restaurant had large rolling doors that lifted up, letting bright sunshine in while patrons spilled out onto a narrow sidewalk patio.
Inside was dark, gleaming wood and red-checkered tablecloths, all of it spotless, including the servers. It felt unnatural.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Do you think it’s hard to work at a restaurant and not get shit all over you?”
“Probably.” Nolan chuckled.
Kai turned his full attention to Nolan. “I like when you order for me. Can you always do that?”
Nolan’s expression softened. Kai didn’t understand the emotions behind the look, but he was learning that it usually meant he’d get his way.
“Yeah, baby, I can do that. Maybe we’ll try something new on Friday.”
Kai’s stomach clenched, and he gripped Nolan’s hand a little tighter.
Kai wasn’t ready to think about not seeing Nolan for five days.
Was that weird? It couldn’t be normal to crave someone this much, this soon.
It also didn’t change the fact that Nolan had work, and if he wasn’t going to take anything from Nolan, and follow Nolan’s rules too, he needed to find a source of income fast. He’d have to reach out to some of his contacts to see if they had anything they were willing to pay him to do, but he didn’t want to have to think about that right now.
Their food came quickly, huge portions that individually could have fed a family of four.
Nolan wordlessly took his plate, cutting his chicken into bite-sized pieces.
Kai scanned the tables around them to see if anyone noticed, feeling a little embarrassed but secretly pleased.
Nobody paid them any mind, so Kai let himself enjoy the sensation of being cared for.
When Katie had her Daddy cut her pancakes, Kai had been amused but now he understood.
It was such a little thing, but there was something deeply pleasurable in having even your smallest needs met.
It was also deeply arousing. Kai scooted his chair a little closer, wishing they’d taken a booth closer to the back of the restaurant.
He wanted to cuddle into Nolan’s side, rub up against him, maybe slip under the table and suck on his cock.
Nolan would probably never let him do that last one, but it was fun to think about nonetheless.
“How is it, baby?”
The chicken was delicious. Crunchy, cheesy, savoury goodness, and Kai was having a hard time not shovelling it into his face like a heathen. “Good. How’s yours?”
“You wanna try?”
Kai nodded, and Nolan raised an eyebrow at him.
“Yes, please.”
Nolan forked a bite and held it up to feed to Kai, who dutifully leaned forward to take it.
It was good, but Kai thought the chicken parm might be better.
He held up a bite for Nolan to try and Nolan took it wordlessly, agreeing with Kai’s assessment.
He forked another piece from Kai’s plate, and Kai pushed it towards him.
Nolan pushed it back without taking more.
“Think this is hard to make at home?”
“I don’t think so. Why don’t you look it up?” Nolan unlocked his phone and slid it over.
“You know, you should probably be more careful with who you just hand your phone to,” Kai grumbled, taking it and pulling up a new tab.
“I didn’t think you’d be able to look it up on your phone,” Nolan said, a note of amusement in his voice. “What’s the deal with that anyway?”
“No deal. It was the last birthday present my grandmother gave me.”
Nolan hummed with understanding. “I get the sentimental attachment.”
Kai had never really thought about it before, but now that he did, he felt like he needed to explain it more.
“Yeah. Sometimes I look at it and I still remember how excited she was to give it to me even though it wasn’t even brand new back then.
” He stopped to think. “But it’s different.
She died, and I didn’t really have anyone else or anything from when I was younger.
I think it just helps me remember that it all really happened.
Like if I didn’t have it, I’d convince myself that things have always been what they are now. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, it makes sense. It’s like an anchor to your past.”
That was exactly it. Having his phone made him remember a time when he’d been loved, when someone had made him feel like his life, his future, was full of possibilities.
He remembered the times he and his grandmother had talked about his future.
His lived reality was so far removed from everything she’d hoped for him.
Maybe keeping his phone had kept that hope alive a little, or at least reminded him that it had once existed.
Without it, he felt like it would have been so easy to get swept into the hurricane that his life had become, and all of that hope would have just been lost forever.
“What is it?” Nolan asked, watching Kai intently.
Kai shook his head and looked back at the phone in his hand. He didn’t know how to say any of these thoughts out loud. They were too fresh.
“You know, getting a new phone doesn’t take away from the importance of the old one.”
Kai shrugged. “Don’t really need it, you know?
Just another thing to keep track of and have to pay for.
I’m not really good at that stuff. Everyone who needs to find me usually just goes through Liam.
” He shoved some food in his face as he continued to peruse Nolan’s phone.
The ads on these recipe sites were so brutal.
It was a struggle to even find the recipes at all.
“Oh yeah? Should I send your good night text to Liam tonight?” Kai’s eyes snapped to Nolan’s, immediately alarmed.
“Don’t ever let Liam have your phone number,” Kai said fiercely. The amusement slid from Nolan’s face.
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
“I’m serious. Don’t ever let him know anything about you.”
“Why?” Nolan asked.
Kai shook his head. He couldn’t explain about Liam.
Liam was his brother. They’d been through the worst shit together, but Liam didn’t do relationships and the only thing he cared about was family.
Nolan was just someone to exploit. To use and then discard, and Kai didn’t want to do that to Nolan.
It made him sick thinking about leaving Nolan worse off from having met him.
The silence pulled tight while Nolan waited for a proper response.
“You know, I think we could actually make this at home,” Kai said carefully, hoping Nolan would accept the change in topic. He glanced over and caught Nolan’s assessing stare.
“You think so?” he asked casually. Kai dropped his shoulders, relieved.
“I mean,” Kai hesitated awkwardly, “if you show me how.”
“Maybe on Saturday. Give you a reason to stick around.” Nolan winked at him. Kai felt a wave of possessiveness lick through him.
“I already have a reason.”
Nolan’s face did that soft thing again, but this time it was mixed with something else.
Was it concern? Worry? Kai didn’t know, but Nolan’s expression cleared and he nodded to Kai’s plate.
“Hustle up so I can get some dessert in you.” Nolan ordered a cortado for himself and both a New York–style cheesecake and tiramisu for dessert.
He plied Kai with food like he wasn’t sure when he’d get his next meal.
It was a reasonable concern. Living in a house with three guys in their teens and twenties who hadn’t had a ton of parental supervision growing up meant they didn’t really do “mealtimes.”
They boxed up their leftovers, Nolan insisting he take them with him.