Chapter 15
Vanian
“I forgot what a hoot Deo is.” I lean back in my chair. “He was funny as a kid, too.”
“Not as funny as Brogan, but he’s up there.”
Balt and Deo have excused themselves from the table, and while we wait for them to return, I focus on Nantes. Man, his eyelashes are long. Dark too. Almost like he’s wearing mascara, but I know he’s not. They’ve always been like that.
Funny how I remember the planes of his face, the dimple in his left cheek, the small mole next to his nose on the right side. As a teen I always wished I was as good looking as Nantes. I wanted the girls to chase me like they chased him. Only I didn’t know then that he didn’t want them.
I wonder how things could’ve been different if I had known. Would we have messed around and explored with each other instead of random people? Would I have lost my virginity with him?
“What?” he asks, turning his head to look at me. “You’re staring at me.”
“Just reminiscing.” I reach out and brush his hair behind his ear. “You’re very handsome, you know? You always have been.”
“Even when I was a scrawny kid?”
“Yep. Even then.”
“Well, same. You’re not exactly hard on the eyes.”
I’m tempted to lean over and kiss him right in front of everyone but Balt returns, putting his wallet in his back pocket.
“Dinner’s covered.”
“Balt,” Nantes complains. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to.”
“Thank you,” Nantes says.
“Yeah, thanks. That’s cool, man. We’ll get you next time.”
Balt waves me off, but he smiles. Deo returns a minute later, but his face is screwed up.
“What’s wrong, love?” Balt asks, rubbing Deo’s back as he sits.
“Someone already paid the bill.”
Balt chuckles, leaning in to kiss Deo’s temple. “Beat ya to it.”
“Thank you.” Deo gazes adoringly at his man.
Is that what being in love looks like from the outside? I don’t think I’ve seen it often. Sure, I’ve seen plenty of couples, but never just looking at each other like no one else exists. I bet it feels nice, but maybe it’s a little scary too. You’d miss it if it were gone.
The four of us walk out, and I find myself leaning into Nantes a bit. “Shit. I think the sake is going to my head.”
Nantes chuckles. “Not me. I stuck to my one cup.”
“It was so good though.”
“Good thing Balt is driving.”
“Good thing.”
When we reach the car, I climb into the back with Nantes and relax.
Tonight was nice. Better than nice. It’s the most fun I’ve had in a while.
It felt like a date to me, and I wonder if Nantes felt the same way.
He treated me the same way he always has, so maybe he doesn’t want his family to know anything went down.
That’s fair. We both know it’s temporary.
I still haven’t worked out what’s even gotten into me. I’ve never once considered letting a guy fuck me or wanted to do the same to him, but after hearing Nantes’s fantasy, I’m intrigued. Besides, if I want to explore, who better to do it with than him? He’s the safest person I could be with.
As I gaze out the window, my mind shifts back to the whole reason I’m even here. I kill people. That’s a secret I could never tell anyone, especially Nantes. Even if he somehow understood, it would make him complicit, and I could never do that.
When we get back to the house, Balt drives towards Nantes’s place, but his and Deo’s cell phones buzz at the same time. Balt pauses, waiting as Deo looks at his phone.
“Nonna wants to know where we are. She made dessert. Her famous torte.”
“Ooh, I remember that,” I say.
“Back to the house, then,” Nantes says.
Balt turns us around and parks in front of the main house. The four of us get out just as Brogan is driving up. We all enter and head for the kitchen, where we can hear voices.
Nonna’s face lights up when she sees us. “Look at all my babies.”
“We’re not babies, Nonna,” Brogan complains, grinning and kissing her cheek at the same time.
“You’ll always be babies to me.” Her eagle-eyed gaze shifts to me. “Too bad you can’t stay longer.”
“Longer than I first planned to. I’m gonna work remote for a little bit.”
“Oh?” Joanne, Nantes’s mom asks. “Everything okay?”
“Yep. Overnight fire at my place of business. No one’s hurt, but it’s not a place we can be right now. Fortunately, I brought my laptop with me.”
“It’s wonderful that you can stay,” Larry says.
“It is.” I turn to smile at Nantes. “I feel like I stepped into a time machine. Hanging out here, having Nonna’s baking… It’s nice.”
“How are your folks?” Joanne asks.
I shrug. “They’re fine.”
She exchanges glances with her husband. “You know you’re always welcome here.”
“Thank you.”
We all sit at the table and start passing the torte around.
We have coffee too, which is helpful for the sake buzz I’ve got going.
I eat my dessert, absorbing the cacophony that is this family, and feeling for the first time in so long that I’m actually home.
It’s not Chicago or where my folks live.
It’s here, with Nantes and his family. Sucks that it’s not the reality though.