5. Drew
How did this happen? I thought she was doing better, according to the few nurses I could bribe to tell me what her doctor had put in her files. But shit, I should have considered that information would be tainted from the start since my father dictated it. He”s always used her as leverage, and while he has control over her, he has control over me, and I fucking hate it.
I watch her sleeping in the hospital bed. We are in a private room back in a secluded corner, and I flinch every time someone walks past the door. I’m waiting for my father to appear, throw around demands, and try to take her home before she”s safe.
The steady beat of her heart on the monitor reassures me, and I can”t help but wonder if this is how Bel felt all that time with her mom at the hospital. As always, she”s not far from my thoughts, even as my mother is my current priority. I think about her a second, the guilt a storm in my head like it always is when I think about her. Then I shove it all away and lean toward my mom”s hospital bed, willing her to wake up.
This is the most time I”ve spent with her consecutively in years. My father started pushing me out toward the end of high school as my mother grew more ill, and I suddenly grew busier and busier with ”obligations.”
I don”t know how long I sit there and watch her. Long enough that the nurse shift switches and the doctor who brought her to the hospital returns.
”Oh,” he starts when he spots me in the chair. Like he”s surprised to see me. ”I”m glad you”re here. Once again, I tried to reach your father and I wasn”t able to get ahold of him. We got some of the initial test results back. Do you want me to show you, or would you rather I wait until we can reach your father?”
I shake my head. “No, please, anything you have I want to know about.”
He nods and turns to face my mother, grabs her charts, and does a few checks. Once he finishes circling her bed, checking her chest, and marking her chart, he tucks the pen into his breast pocket and faces me again. “Now, the main thing you need to know is she’s having trouble. Yes, she’s unconscious, but it’s not the end yet.”
I whoosh out an exhale and stare down at my hands, giving myself a moment before I slip back into my mask and meet his eyes. “So what now? Is there anything we can do to fix this?”
He studies me, and there is something in his eyes I can’t read when I usually can see right through people. “How long has your mother been having difficulty?”
I snort. Difficulty. “She’s been in and out of the hospital since I was ten or eleven. For as long as I can remember, she’s been fighting one thing or another. It seems to have gotten worse since I went to college, but I try to be there for her as much as I can.”
The doctor grabs the stool on the other side of the room to sit on and slides toward me, stopping a couple of feet away. ”Drew, can I ask you something more personal?”
”Like what? It depends on what you want to know.” If it”s for my mom, though, there isn”t much I”d hold back.
He frowns, lines growing bolder around his mouth and on his forehead. Something is wrong, and he”s not sure how to tell me. A weight sinks from my chest to my stomach and drifts down, down, down like a rock in a lake. Shit. He just said she wasn”t dying, so...why the hesitation?
”Doctor, whatever the problem is, just spit it out. This dancing around is making it worse.” It”s making me want to punch something, namely him, but I keep that little bit to myself.
He sits back and squares his shoulders. ”Has either of your parents ever discussed if you”re adopted?”
I blink, my mouth popping open.
He rushes on. ”It”s not something I”d usually be at liberty to discuss, but it was your blood work, not your mother”s, where we found the discrepancies. So, legally, you have the right to know.”
I blink again, wheels grinding in my head like an overworked car. ”What?” I sputter.
He swallows loudly enough I can hear it, even with the monitors. ”Well, we ran your blood work with your mother’s, and your father”s even, to look for compatibility. The transplant.”
”And?” I say since I”ve been reduced to one-syllable words.
”You weren”t a match to either of them. Neither of them is your biological parent.”
The room seems to go silent around me as all the air is sucked out of the room. All the abuse, the verbal jabs, the indifference, all on my so-called father”s part, was it because he knew all along?
If they aren”t my parents, who the hell is?
I can”t wrap my head around what he”s told me. Everything seems to tilt sideways. Nothing is lining up. There”s no axis on which to orient myself.
I stand, and the doctor stands too, keeping his eyes locked on me. He braces his body like he”s ready to rush forward at any moment.
I lay a hand on the back of the chair and turn my back to the man. Shit. Get ahold of yourself. He doesn”t need to see you break down. No one can see that. I have to keep it together no matter what.
Without turning around, I shuffle toward the doorway, needing distance from him. From the truth, too. ”I”ll come back, Doctor. I need some time to think about this.”
He says something, but I don”t catch it as I rush out the door and down the hall, racing to the exit before I say or do something to draw attention to myself.
Don”t let them see. It”s a lesson my father taught me under the weight of his fist, and I”ve never in my life been grateful for that particular lesson until this very second.
I step out of the hospital”s sliding glass doors and take a deep breath of the cold midday air. Then another, using the chill in my lungs to clear my head. I have so many more questions than answers, but at least I can breathe again.
Until that old familiar feeling rises up to choke me once more. The feeling that I can”t quite grasp anything, that nothing, nothing is in my control.
I hate this goddamn feeling.
I open my phone and pull up the ride app. Since I”m downtown, it only takes minutes for a car to pull up, and there”s only one person I need to see right now. Only one person can make this feeling go away.
Bel. My little wallflower.
It hits me like another punch to the face when I’m already fucking down. We can’t be related. If he’s her father, but not mine...she’s not my sister.
It’s not like that knowledge would keep me away from her, but a wave of relief washes through me, and suddenly, the urge to see her is even stronger, a driving force pushing me to get to her.
It takes a little while to get to the Arturo estate, and I rush to the gate, punch the intercom, and wait.
”Can I help you?” a male voice says, but it”s not Sebastian.
”I”m here to see Maybel.”
There”s a pause, then... ”Ms. Arturo isn”t available, especially to you, ever.” It”s Seb this time for sure. The venom in his voice reaches me even through the tinny intercom line.
”Fucking let me in, Seb. I just want to talk to her,” I grit out, balling my fists to keep from grasping the intercom box and shaking it from its base.
”Go away, Drew. You aren”t getting near her. I explained that before, and I”ll keep saying it. Go away before I send security out to make you go away.”
Fuck him. He”s not going to keep me from my flower. I spin and stare at the fence line as a security guard marches down from the gatehouse on the other side.
He looks pressed and polished in a security uniform, so he doesn”t travel with the family. Fucking good.
I paste on my good ole boy smile and wave him over. ”Hey, man,” I call out.
His shoulders relax, and he steps up to the gate, my disarming smile doing its usual work. ”You have to leave, sir.”
I smile again and swagger toward the gate until I”m within reaching distance. I shoot my hand through the wrought iron, grab his shirt front, and slam him into the gate hard enough to stun him.
”Look,” I snarl with enough menace in my tone to ensure he doesn”t mistake a single word I speak. ”I want nothing to do with you or your boss. I want to know where Bel is, that”s all. I’m asking nicely, but here in a few moments, I won’t be, and then I can’t be held responsible for what happens to you after that. So what’s it going to be? Are you going to tell me what I want to know, or are we going to see if I can pull your head through these fucking bars?” My grip is tight as I tug him against the iron, adding just enough pressure to press his cheeks against the bars.
He flails, but he”s out of shape and useless with the leverage I have over him.
”It really doesn’t have to be this way.” I tilt my head and narrow my eyes, considering another option. ”Unless she”s inside, in which case I”ll be entering, and you”ll be unconscious.”
His radio goes off, and I can hear someone asking for his status. Panic fills his eyes, and he fumbles to grab it, but I catch his hand and twist his wrist back. Not hard enough to break it but hard enough to prove a point.
”The girl...” I prompt.
He hisses out a breath and sags in my hold. Got him. I smile like the villain who just got the girl. ”She”s on campus. She went back to school today.”
“See, not as hard as you thought…” I release him with a little shove and take a step back, holding my hands up. Before he can right himself, I swivel and take off running down the street, punching a new address into the rideshare app. They won”t catch me before I get to her, that”s for sure. I kick myself in the ass for not using my bike. This racing around for rides is bullshit. Thankfully, someone is nearby, and I’m hopping in the back of a Kia Sportage a few minutes later.
The guy behind the driver”s seat attempts to make small talk, but I’m not about that shit. I need to get to the library and find Bel. Otherwise, all of this will have been for nothing. It feels like it takes years to get back to campus. By the time we’re close enough, I’m hot enough to start a fire with my body heat alone.
“Pull over here,” I order the guy as the car reaches the edge of the football field. If I get out here, I’ll have a straight shot to the library.
He flounders but slows the car. “This isn’t the location you asked me to drop you off at.” I exhale and shake my head.
“Fucking stop!” I growl, and the car comes to a halt immediately. I’m aware that I’m a little unhinged, but I crave the pretty little blond bookworm who’s been trying to hide from me for the past month. Too bad for her, there will be no more hiding.
My desire for her intensifies, and a coil of need winds tighter and tighter the closer I get to her. I force my legs to move faster and break out into a full run toward the library doors. I shove through the double doors, nearly plowing into a group of girls. I can feel their angry glares on me, but I don’t give a fuck. My heart hammers against my rib cage as I scan the expansive space for her familiar messy topknot.
Each second that passes without proof that she’s here makes my blood pressure climb. Higher and higher it goes. What if the guard lied? I suppose I’ll have to pay him another visit. I”m tempted to call out to her, but we haven”t spoken in a while, and I don”t want to scare her away. I remind myself that when it comes to Bel, I’m back at square one. All the work I put in to earning her trust is nothing but dust in the wind now. If I’m going to get her to listen to me, I’ll need to approach this differently.
Impatience blooms in my belly as I stalk toward her favorite set of desks. I notice a bag hanging off the chair and a few romance books stacked on the table, but there’s no Bel in sight. Shit.
Where is she?
I spin on the balls of my feet and scan the area, raking my gaze over every person in the room, shifting behind the desk toward the stacks to get a better look and make sure she’s not hiding somewhere. My heart threatens to catapult out of my chest when I spot her standing next to the window.
The streaks of sunlight make her look like she’s wearing a halo. I swear to fucking god, I stop breathing for half a second. Piercing green eyes. Blond strands are held haphazardly on the top of her head in a messy bun, just as expected. My tongue darts out of my mouth, and I lick my lips like the true predator I am.
Relax. Don’t scare her.
I watch her curiously, missing this so much there aren’t even words to describe it. Sebastian was right. The little wallflower has grown into a wildflower. Gone are the oversized sweatshirts she adored before. She”s wearing designer jeans and a tight white top that makes her tits look great, and my mouth waters at the image before me.
Fucking hell, why didn”t I put her in better clothes when I had her?
I suck a ragged breath into my lungs. To be anxious or nervous is unlike me, but Bel is different. Always was. I’m so afraid I’m going to fuck this up again, that I’m going to have to force her to do what I want her to do, and we both know that’s not what I want. I need her submission, her sweet, fragile trust. I swallow the lump in my throat. Here goes nothing.
”Bel.” I whisper her name.
Her eyes shift from the book she’s holding right to me like she heard me even though we are several feet apart. She has yet to really see me, and I take a hesitant step forward.
“Bel.” I say her name a little louder this time. “It’s time we talked about things.”
That makes the light bulb go off in her head. I watch as her eyes fill with shock or maybe even fear. I can’t really be sure which it is when they mirror one another so closely. I choose to go with the second when her foot slides backward. Fuck me. I know what she’s about to do, and it’s so incredibly stupid.
“Don’t do it,” I snarl, the animalistic beast barely contained under the cold mask I wear. If she wants to tempt me, nothing will do that quite like the thrill of a chase.
Those pretty emerald eyes of hers flick around the library, looking for an exit, a way to escape me, but what she doesn’t understand is that she can never escape me.
Bel will never be free of me, no matter how much she cries, begs, or pleads.
I inch closer, and just like the gazelle sensing danger, she notices the movement, her gaze ping-ponging between me and the stacks.
Do it. Run, Flower. Run as fast as you can.
Every drop of blood in my body heads south, pumping furiously into my thickened cock. I’m grappling for control over the primal desire to chase her and fuck her into submission but remind myself that this is so much more than sex. I need to rein in my primal instincts, at least for right now, but seeing her again after all this time is harder than I anticipated.
I fucking crave her submission, the softness of her body as I bend her to my will, forcing her to take whatever it is I want to give her. Yes, I fucked up, and I’m man enough to admit that, but I’ve given her more than enough time and space. I can’t keep myself in check anymore. I can’t be without her. She”s not getting away from me this time.
Like a spooked animal, she takes off, racing in the direction of the stacks.
Just as I anticipated.I take off after her, slipping through the line of chairs, shelves, and tables, heading right for her. She cuts through some bookshelves to the right, and I follow closely like a bloodhound. She’s backing herself into a corner.
”Bel, don”t do this. There is nowhere you can go that I won”t find you, and the last thing you want to do is provoke me, especially when I’ve gone so long without you. Don’t make me do something I don’t want to do.”
I’m greeted with silence.
A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. Fuck.
Flower wants a chase. She’ll get a chase.
No matter what, she’s not escaping me. Not this time.