7. Drew
Sometimes in life, you have to be the bigger person even when you don’t want to be. I’m learning that. Learning that sometimes it’s not always about what I want. It sucks, but when you care about someone else”s well-being more than your own, that’s the result. Sure, I could’ve beaten the shit out of Sebastian for taking her away from me, but I didn’t.
I”ve caused her enough pain. Even if fighting with him would’ve made me feel better, I know it would’ve only ended up hurting her in some way.
I”m actively trying to avoid doing that, at least on the emotional side.
Since the first moment I laid eyes on Bel, she was meant to be mine. The light to my darkness, the perfect mixture of pain and beauty. She gets off on submitting to me and giving me complete control.
Nothing has changed between us, not in the physical sense. She still reacts to my touch as I suspected she would. A person can’t turn off their feelings that easily. Parts of her might hate me, but that sick, twisted piece inside her pretty little head craves me. It craves my darkness, my chaos, and mayhem.
A gust of cold wind blows, and I shiver. I”ll have to start wearing my jacket soon and making sure my little wallflower remembers hers when she is lost in her books and notes. I turn toward the other side of campus and jog up the driveway to The Mill house. The cold bites into my fingers enough to spur me up the stairs and through the front door at almost a sprint. Not fast enough to miss the plastic cups and trash littering the yard. All I can do is shake my head.
We need to get the new assholes out here to clean. I can only imagine how terrible the inside looks. New inductee time always means more people in the house, more strangers, trash, and mess.
The old me wouldn’t have thought much of it, not when it meant more girls would be around to choke on my cock. Now, I want only one girl on her knees for me. And she won”t even have a full conversation with me. I mean, it is what it is, but I won’t be able to use my dick to subdue her forever. At some point, we need to be adults and talk about this shit rationally.
Sauntering inside, I let the door slam behind me, rattling the antique picture frames on the wall. The sconces, or whatever the fuck they are, rattle too. Looking ahead, I scan the floor. Bodies litter the main room in various states of undress, and I”m thankful I already gave the housekeeper the week off. Business as usual during our induction week, I guess.
She”d be appalled, not that she hasn”t seen all of us who live in the house in some state of undress over the past couple of years. Those moments would pale in comparison to this shit. She”s learned to ignore a good amount of stuff, and we”ve learned to make sure she gets a bonus on her paycheck at least once a quarter.
I contemplate my next move, trying to decide whether to wake these bastards up and throw them out or… A loud crash and glass breaking echo down the stairs and into my ears.
Since Sebastian is with Maybel, it has to be Aries or Lee. My money is on Lee since he”s always been the more dramatic of my friends outside of Sebastian. I thought that sounded a lot like a body hitting the floor.
Another crash has me on alert, and I’m jogging up the stairs before I think better of it. I’ve just reached the top of the stairs, turning to walk into Lee’s room, when a crystal glass hurtles into the wall opposite Lee”s open door.
What the fuck?
”Hey!” I shout.
There”s a pause, and Lee pokes his head out the door with a glare. ”I wasn’t throwing that at you, just in your direction.”
I glare at him now. ”Wow, great apology. Perfect cadence.”
He ducks back into his room, and I follow. ”What the hell? Why are you destroying the antique crystal?”
Not that I give a shit about the antique part. I’m more concerned with the cleaning aspect. Without the housekeeper, one of us is going to have to clean that shit up. And it sure as shit won”t be me.
Lee sighs, the sound long and loud as the air escapes his mouth. Patience isn’t really my strong suit, but I do my best to give him a moment as he clutches a half-empty bottle of bourbon to his bare chest. One look at him, and you can see he’s unhinged. His hair is messy, and there are heavy-looking bags under his eyes. He looks like he’s been through the wringer.
His basketball shorts ride low on his hips, and I cringe, noticing his feet are bare. ”My family thinks I”m getting married. Actually, not think. They’ve arranged my marriage. An arranged marriage? Are you fucking kidding me?!”
I sigh and sink to the edge of his bed to consider what he’s confessed. ”Why?” It”s the only thing I can think to ask. I kinda hate that I’m terrible at conversations and emotions. I could learn a few things from Maybel.
Tightening his grip on the bottle of bourbon, he brings it to his lips and takes a massive gulp before extending the bottle out to me. I should decline since it’s not even noon yet, but after the morning I’ve had, I could use a drink.
With his other hand, he wipes at his mouth. ”I don”t know. Maybe they think I”m running around, fucking men, destroying the family name. Maybe they want me married off to a meek little girl, someone they can control or use to control me.”
I snatch the bottle out of his hands and watch as he takes a spot on the edge of the bed beside me. Then I bring the bottle to my lips and take a long pull from it. The rich brown liquid blazes a path of fire down my throat, coating my insides in warmth. I have to say this is so much better than the gin he had before.
”Shit, man.”
He drops his head into his hands. ”Why is everything so fucking awful right now? Seb is barely here. You”re off doing whatever the fuck you”re doing. And Aries is out there fucking his way through the cheerleading team.” He lifts his head, piercing me with a knowing look. “Which we need to do something about.”
Shit. Yeah, we do. Some of the most off-limit girls at the school are on the cheerleading team. Most of them are daughters or granddaughters of alumni. Too innocent, but I guess not as innocent as they like to portray if Aries has started plowing through them, both literally and figuratively. And if left to his own devices, every one of them will be looking to murder him once he”s through with them. Fuck.
That’s a good enough reason for another drink. Bringing the bottle to my lips, I take another long swig. This time, the bourbon burns a little less. ”We”ll deal with Aries soon. He”s not going to have all of them wanting to murder him in just a few days, right?”
Lee snorts and snatches his bottle back. ”I think you’ve forgotten your friend”s sexual appetite. Aries is a playboy, and I mean… does it really matter at this point? You and Seb have barely been here for the new inductee week, and when we manage to get you both in the same room, we have to worry about who is going to murder who first. I”ve been trying to manage it all on my own, but it’s getting to a point where shit is out of control. I need you, all of you, and everyone is going through shit, but we can’t fuck this up. We can’t make a mockery of ourselves or ruin our own image. Fuck our parents. I only give a shit about us.”
Fuck, he’s right. I”m the president of The Mill. Being present isn’t an option but a requirement. I need to step the fuck up, and I need to do so now. I sigh and give him a nod. That”s about as much of an apology as he”ll get from me.
Lee relaxes next to me. ”Great, one fire out. What about the next one? What are you going to do about Bel?”
His question catches me off guard so much that I flinch.
”Going that well, huh? What even happened?”
I shake my head. ”I don’t want to drag you into any of it. All you need to know is Seb is trying to keep her away from me, and I’m not giving her up. Not at all.”
”Fucking fantastic, the two most hardheaded stubborn fucks fighting against each other. What’s the point? Why fight when you could work together?”
I snatch the bottle back from him and take a long drink instead of answering right away. Once I swallow, I pin him with a glare. ”Yeah, work together to get his sister out from under his thumb long enough to have a fucking conversation? That will go well. He blames me for everything that happened, and I have no problem saying I fucked up. I know what I did hurt her, but I was trying to protect her. He doesn’t see it that way. Not that it matters. I think it has more to do with his pride. The slight to his family name is what he”s really pissed about. He doesn”t even know her.”
Lee shrugs and leans over to brace his elbows on his knees. ”I don”t know, man. He”s been living in that giant-ass house with her. I’d assume he’s learned something about her by now. Plus, with how he saw you treating her before, his reaction isn’t really that shocking. If I had a sister, I’d probably do the same. God knows I wouldn’t let any of you fucks touch her.”
I let out a small laugh, dislodging a thought from my mind. How would I feel if I had a daughter and she was with a man like me? The thought has the opposite reaction of what I thought it would. Instead of disgust, I feel warmth. The idea of having a child with Bel. My flower. Fuck… the image of her pregnant, her swollen belly cradled in my hands is there now. It pops into my head, refusing to leave. It won’t be today or even next month, but that will be us years from now. It has to be because there is no point in breathing if she isn’t a part of my life.
We sit in silence for a few moments. Lee breaks it after a minute. ”You know he”s under a lot of pressure. More than he used to be now that he”s head of the Arturo family. Something he never even wanted. He”s just trying to...”
I wait, not encouraging him since I know where this is going.
”He just wants to secure everything. Make sure the last person related to him by blood is safe and protected.”
”Okay, so are you telling me to give up?”
Lee doesn”t flinch away from my sharp tone.
”No, dickhead. What I”m saying is try not to kill each other in the process and maybe keep Bel out of it. She doesn”t know this world, the ruthlessness of it. She’s been through enough shit.”
I consider what Bel”s been through. She’s lost her mom. Me. Her piece-of-shit friend Jackie. All she has is Seb, and through all that, she still remains, standing taller with her chin held high. ”She”s strong enough to handle it.”
He lets out a sigh of defeat. ”You”re missing my point. Both you and Seb need to be stronger. That way, she doesn”t have to handle it. Get me?”
A light bulb goes off in my head. I’m good at being vindictive, at manipulating and getting what I want, but sometimes you need to think deeper, to dive into the emotions of a person. For the first time, I consider what being part of one of the biggest crime families in the world means for Bel. Does she even know what Seb and his family does? What she has inherited, and what her new last name means?
Lee hands me the bottle again and lies back against the mattress. I swear the man is in perpetual motion, unable to stay still for even a second.
”Okay, Dr. Phil. Your turn. What are you going to do about this whole marriage thing, and if so, can I help at all?”
He snorts. ”I doubt even if I brought you home and declared that we were getting married, my family would be able to get over my sexuality.”
I don’t understand that. ”What’s the big deal? You fuck women too, a lot of women from the couple of years we”ve lived together. And they only get pissy about the men you sleep with?”
He sighs again and rolls onto his side to stare at the wall. The bottle sits upright against his hip now. ”Who I sleep with doesn’t really matter. They”ve made up their mind. I know their end goal now. All they want is to marry me off to a suitable girl with the hope I won’t bring any more shame to our family name.”
“There’s nothing wrong with fucking men or women. Don’t let them tell you that you’re fucked up or a disgrace because you like both. Do whatever the fuck you want to do. Or better yet, whoever.”
I fall back onto the mattress and stare up at the intricate detail on the ceiling.
”Do you think this is how our families got so fucked up in the first place? From all the parental meddling until everything became so fucked up that it couldn’t be fixed anymore? Like a permanent fucked-up-ness.”
Lee shifts, the covers rustling underneath his legs. ”Bleak, man. But hell, probably. Defending the family name is so ingrained in all of our families” heads that it”s the only thing they consider. No matter what it does to every individual family member along the way. No matter your feelings, thoughts, or beliefs. As long as the name remains untarnished, everyone in said family could be having a mental breakdown.”
I can’t help but laugh. ”Maybe we should all be like Aries and fuck our way through the cheerleaders.”
Lee smiles now. ”Who says I haven”t already?”
Considering how many of them tried to get an invitation to The Hunt this year I wasn”t so sure he hadn”t.
Just outside the door is a crash followed by a curse. Aries. A second later, he appears in the doorway, his big body filling the whole frame. His long curls are wild and combed away from his face, and his blue eyes shine with excitement when they land on us.
”What are you bitches doing? Didn”t you see the pile of new inductees downstairs sleeping? Why are we not making their lives miserable right now?”
I laugh and shift to interlace my hands behind my head so I can look up at him from a more comfortable angle. ”They”ll be there a while. We have time. Where have you been?”
Lee and I exchange a knowing look that Aries doesn’t appear to miss.
”Where the fuck you think I”ve been? I’m sure you both remember the McBeth twins on the cheerleading squad. Did you know they make the same noises? It”s like fucking surround sound.”
The room fills with laughter, and I roll over, laughing so hard my fucking stomach hurts, and tears leak from the corners of my eyes.
Aries stands at the end of the bed with his hands shoved into his letter jacket pockets. ”What the fuck are you assholes laughing about?”
I recover first, and Lee wipes at his face with his forearm. I’m still smiling when I answer him. ”Nothing, man. Just keep doing what you”re doing while the rest of our worlds burn down.”
His brow furrows, and he takes a step toward the bed. ”Who do I need to kill?”
With the menacing scowl on his face and his dead-serious tone, I wouldn”t put it past him. Maybe I should send him after my asshole father.
I consider it. Nah, Aries is all brute force. If I sicced one of my friends on my father, it would be Seb and only Seb. Not only is he strategic but he”s also fucking lethal, going straight for the jugular. And best of all, he has zero regrets afterward.
Aries slumps down on the end of the bed, and I consider my options. Would Seb help me?
We all know each other”s families. What they do, and how they operate. The thing is, we’ve always tried to keep all of that far away from our school life and The Mill. At least, the best we can with my father breathing down my neck. Shit is hard enough without adding in the family inheritances. Maybe I already have the solution to dear ole dad. I just need to nut up and ask a friend for help. I smile to myself, feeling like I might actually have the fix.
Something tells me he”s a lot less likely to just do what I ask than he was a month ago.
But if my father became a danger to Bel...that...that would make Seb act.