9. Drew
My blood and body hum with a tingling of awareness. My small taste of her did nothing to quench my need or hunger for her. I can already hear her heady breaths in my ear and feel her little nails digging into my skin. To pull me closer or push me away, it doesn’t really matter. As I leave the house, I only think about seeing her. I didn’t realize how much she meant to me until after everything blew the hell up.
What’s that cheesy saying? You don’t know what you have until it’s gone? Isn’t that the fucking truth? Along the way to the cabin, I wonder why she chose the cabin in the woods as the location to meet. We could’ve met anywhere, but she chose the most secluded option…
Is she scared of being seen with me? Or is she hiding from her brother?
Probably a little bit of both.
The quiet claws through me, an unusual and unwelcome sensation.
Rivulets of moonlight cut across the path as I stride through the woods. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I jerk it out to make sure it”s not Bel calling to cancel on me. I can”t handle that shit right now. There’s no way I won’t march right up to the mansion and kidnap her. Fuck, think rationally.
All rational thinking goes out the window when I see his name on my phone. Father. I should change his name to fuckface since it’s far more fitting than father. God knows he’s treated me like an inconvenience for as long as I can remember.
Fuck him. He’s always got a way of ruining everything. This is the first time he”s decided to contact me in days, and the only thing I want to say to him is “go fuck yourself.” Well, I’d be more than willing to tell him that, more than willing to stand up to him and put him in the ground. Other things are at stake, other people’s well-being hanging in the balance, so my selfish desires will have to wait a little longer. I choose not to let him ruin my evening and instead hit the decline button and shove my phone back into my jean pocket. A minute later, my phone buzzes again, telling me he probably left a caring and delightful voicemail.
I push my father to the back of my mind and pick up my pace toward the cabin, scanning the trees in case she is out here too. It’s obvious I’m alone. The quiet of nature greets me, and I love it. I enjoy the sound of the wind, the crunching of leaves beneath my boots.
I walk faster to try to burn some of the edge from seeing her at the library. From holding myself back from pulling her away from Seb and ensuring both of them know whom she belongs to. I told her to take the four-wheeler, but I walked the entire way to help curb some of this need in my blood. As I get close to the cabin, the rough wood structure gives way to a spacious clearing of grass that circles the cabin, butting up to a small river. The moonlight glints off it, but my attention is dragged from the beauty of nature and to someone who is just as beautiful.
On the stairs of the cabin, I finally spot her. My Flower.
She”s sitting on the top step, a sweater wrapped tight around her slim frame, her sunshine-blond hair tied up in her usual messy knot. My gaze collides with hers, and I don’t even have to be a skilled predator to see how anxious she is. Lucky for her, the only time I want to see tears on her face again is when she’s choking on my cock. I hurt her once already. I’m not going to get another chance to fix this if I fuck up again.
”Been waiting long?” I ask as I check my watch. By my time, I”m early, so she got here extra early to beat me. Smart.
She shrugs one shoulder and tugs her sleeves over her knuckles, wrapping her arms around her middle as if she’s trying to hug herself.
”Hi,” I whisper, hoping I put everything I”m feeling into that one tiny word.
“Hi,” she responds, her shoulders dropping.
I creep up the last couple of steps and pause on the porch. ”It”ll be warmer inside once I turn on the heat.”
She nods, then pushes up from her spot, tucking her chin into her chest, almost like she’s trying to avoid looking at me. What the fuck is going on?
Why is she suddenly hiding from me? Not even when I stripped her naked in these woods did she hide from me... My temper rises, and I don’t know what to do with it, so I angrily jerk the screen door open and unlock the cabin using a key from my key ring. Then I shove the door open and beckon her inside.
I take a calming breath, breathing through my nose. I need to calm down and figure this out. Her steps are hesitant as she walks over the threshold, and I follow her, flicking on the light switch along the way. Soft illumination cuts through the darkness, and I hit the buttons on the digital thermostat to warm up the place.
I don”t know how long we”ll be here, but I don”t want to risk her getting cold.
The gas fireplace roars to life with another flick of a switch. Bel startles at the soft swish of it igniting.
”Sit,” I bite out, waving toward the large, comfortable armchair.
”I”m okay, thank you...”
I stalk around the room, circling her because she’s got me on edge, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to react.
Her emerald eyes track my movements until she has to shift to keep me in her line of sight. ”What are you doing?”
I shrug. ”Good question. What am I doing, Bel? You”re the one who asked me to come here. And now you”re acting like a scared rabbit I trapped here. You won’t even meet my gaze. So naturally, what am I supposed to think but that you want to be hunted?”
She turns enough to put the chair at her back so she can face me directly. ”If I remember correctly, you’re the one who has been begging to see me for weeks.”
I let out a sigh of defeat. She takes a step toward me and points at my chest, jabbing me hard with her finger. ”If you”re going to be a dick to me, then you can turn the hell around and leave.”
She shakes her head, disbelief pinching her beautiful features. “I can’t believe I thought you would actually be honest with me. That you would talk to me and not make this into some stupid game.”
I close my hand around her smaller one, completely engulfing it, barely keeping from sighing at the touch of her smooth skin, and lean in. ”Honest? You haven”t told me what you want so how can I lie to you when I haven’t been asked a question?”
In an instant, the disbelief I saw before turns into panic and dread. She looks up at me through thick lashes, her hands twisting in her sweater sleeves. And that’s when it hits me.
”This is about what I said in the library, isn”t it?”
When her eyes widen, more horror bleeding into their depths, a small sound slips from her lips. It’s all the confirmation I need. I advance, trapping her between my forearms and pressing her into the wall. It”s my favorite thing to do. To make her helpless and unable to escape me. ”What’s the point of asking, Bel? You already know it doesn’t matter to me. You already know where I stand. I don’t care if you’re my sister.”
I lean in and run my nose along the line of her neck and shoulder, needing to smell her. God, how does she always smell so good? Like lilacs and baby powder. Who knew baby powder could be so mouth-watering?
”I bet,” I whisper against her skin, loving how she trembles against me. ”Even with the doubt, and disgust, and dread churning in your gut right now, you’d still open your legs for me. You’d still take my cock into your tight cunt. Even if it’s wrong, and it’s so fucking wrong to think about your brother fucking you, but you would. And like I said, I’d do it. I’d do it because rules, morals, and laws wouldn’t stop me from owning you. You’re mine forever.”
As if on instinct, she squeezes her thighs together, and when she releases them, I shove my thigh roughly between them, hiking her body up high enough that she’s basically sitting on my knee.
When I trail my mouth toward hers, teasing her lips with my breath, she flinches, and it”s enough to allow me to push back an inch. In her green eyes, I see her fear and how much this is eating away at her.
Guilt blooms in my chest.
Fuck. I meet her gaze. ”Luckily for you, we aren’t related. So you have nothing to feel bad about. You”re still a good little girl, Flower.”
She flinches like I slapped her and shoves at my chest hard. Of course, I don”t give her even an inch, but it”s cute how she tries. ”What the hell is wrong with you? You beg to see me for weeks, then you manipulate me into coming to meet you!” she screams, and I”m more surprised than anything else, both at her assumption and her raised voice.
I release my arms but keep my thigh pressed tight against her center. ”What are you talking about?”
She growls and attempts to shove at me again, but I grab onto both of her wrists and hold them tight against my chest in one hand. ”Watch it, Wallflower. I”m willing to give you some leeway…” I break off, not ready to go there yet. ”But I won”t allow you to shove me around and throw tantrums like a child.”
”A child?” she screeches and tries to pry herself free from my grasp. ”I don’t think you’re ready to have a conversation about maturity, but since you brought it up and want to act tough, let’s do this. Should you even be here right now? Aren”t you engaged to be married? Shouldn’t you be doing husbandly things? Planning a wedding? Picking out names for your 2.5 kids and a Labrador Retriever? Not sneaking around the woods with the ‘help’?”
Her words are razor sharp and sting as they slice through me, leaving behind jagged marks. I release her, adding several feet of space between us. I strip out of my jacket because the room is suddenly hot.
It doesn’t bother me that she’s brought up Spencer and my father. It bothers me that she talks so negatively about herself. It bothers me to be reminded of how I fed into things, how I just went along with my father’s demands. My jaw aches as I clench my teeth. Fists clenched, I feel the urge to punch something. Instead, I spin away from her and pace the room so I don”t lash out, unleashing a sudden surge of anger on her.
Goddammit. I know I hurt her.
I know I did, but I’m trying to fix this. I want to fix this. I need to fix this.
I stab a hand through my hair, pulling on the long strands, willing an answer to come out of my mouth. I want her so bad it hurts to breathe. The mere thought of never having her in my arms again or having to see her with another man makes me want to commit murder. I’d never allow it. If she doesn’t want me, fine, but no other man will ever have her either.
”Yeah,” she spits. ”That”s what I thought.”
The venom in her tone intensifies my anger, but more than that, it’s the fact that she is wrong, and she doesn’t even realize it. Quick like a snake, I reach for her, my fingers pressing into her shoulder blades, forcing her back against the wall. A small gasp leaves her parted lips, and I lean right into her face. The air in my lungs stills, and I’m momentarily frozen in time by her beauty.
My delicate little flower that’s so fierce and strong. But so damn weak for me still.
”Fuck, you’re so beautiful, Bel. Beautiful, and wrong, so fucking wrong, because I”m not fucking engaged to anyone. It was fake. All of it. My father planned it. I never lied to you, not once. Every word I said that night was to protect you.”
Her gaze narrows with suspicion, and I can tell she doesn’t believe me. She’s so caught up in the pain I caused her, in the hateful words that cut her deeper than a knife that she can’t see the truth. ”Yeah, well the stitches I had to get because of you aren’t fake. The heartbreak I have because of you isn’t fake. Surprise, sometimes other people”s emotions and reactions to things are real even if your own aren’t.”
She could’ve ripped my fucking heart out, and it would’ve hurt less.
When I pushed her, I didn’t anticipate her hitting her head and I replayed that scene a million times over in my mind. It’s the one thing I regret more than anything. Physically hurting her like that. But she’s right, and she has a very real reason not to trust me, and to be angry. I can’t fault her there, and I know I’ll have to earn her trust back if we’re to have a future together.
Her green eyes glisten with tears, and when she blinks, one slips free, trailing down the apple of her cheek. I can’t help myself. I’m not a good fucking man, after all. I might be sorry, and guilt might riddle my soul, but I can’t change the fact that her tears turn me on.
I’ll forever be sick and twisted.
Cupping her by the cheeks, I trace that single tear with my thumb. Another falls, and then another, and I lean in and lick them away, relishing the salty taste on my tongue.
”Fuck, how can it be possible that you look even more beautiful with tears in your eyes?”
She jerks her head back and then winces when it hits the wall. ”There is something seriously wrong with you.”
“You already knew that, baby, so don’t act surprised.”
“Oh, I’m not surprised. I’m just wondering why I had any belief that you’d apologize to me. Even if it wasn’t a formal apology, I thought you’d offer me something. And that when you did, maybe I’d finally be able to say you gave a fuck about me, but I didn’t even get that.”
I swallow hard and stare down into her face. ”What are you talking about? Everything I”ve done has been to show you I care about you.”
I can visibly see her walls going back up, and I can’t let her go back there without me finishing what I have to say. ”I care about you, Bel. I care about you more than I’ve cared about anything or anyone in my life.” The other words, the ones I”m not quite ready to say despite all the pressure in my chest urging me to do it, stick tight in my throat. ”All I ever do is think about you. This past month has killed me, Bel. I wanted to be there for you when your mom…”
“Do not speak about my mother. Ever!” She grits the words through her teeth.
“It’s true. I tried to come to the hospital and Sebastian called the police, but I was there. I didn’t abandon you, Bel.”
I can see it in her eyes. The confusion, pain, and disbelief. She wants to believe me and accept what I’ve said, but a wall comes up out of nowhere and shuts down any progress I might have made. I swallow hard and shake my head.
She reaches for me, her tiny hands clutch onto my T-shirt, and for a second, I”m confused about where this is going. The look in her eyes is lethal, and I”m hard just staring into the green depths of her gaze, drowning to be this close to her for longer than a minute.
She clenches her fists tight into a ball, then drags me down so we’re face-to-face. Only when bright hot pain shoots through my balls and up into my dick, slithering into my stomach, do I realize what’s happened.
Fucking shit.
One. Two. Three. Four.
My entire body becomes one big muscle clenching tightly like the string on a bow before I drop to my knees. The pain makes it hard to breathe, and when I hit the wood floor, I roll to my side. I should’ve anticipated her making a move like this.
My little flower has always been a bit prone to violence lately.
She leans down, her eyes glittering with anger, and I can still see the lust flickering beneath. She wants me, she still fucking wants me. Her eyes rake down over my abs, which are now proudly on display from my tucked up shirt, and my still hard dick that’s outlined in my jeans. She’ll never admit it, at least not right now, but soon.
So fucking soon.
”Stay away from me, Drew. We”re done.”
“We will never be done.” I speak through my teeth.
“We are, and honestly, I’d stop trying because desperation doesn’t look good on you.” She steps over me and starts walking toward the door.
“Go to the police, get a restraining order…” I force myself to speak even though my breath is labored. “Tell Sebastian so he can put a bullet in my head because the only way you’ll ever be free of me is if I’m dead.”
“You’re pathetic,” she sneers over her shoulder.
She has no fucking clue. No idea the lengths I will go when it comes to her.
I gasp for air and shift on the floor, swallowing down the pain. ”You can run, Wallflower, but you can”t hide, not from me.”
She pauses at the door, her hand gripping the handle. Then she twists around and stares down at me. There I see a fire in her eyes that threatens to burn me to fucking ash.
”I”m not trying to hide, Drew. I”m right fucking here, and when you can be honest with me, then maybe we can have a real conversation. Until then, we’re done.”
When she walks out, I let out another shuddering breath. The roar of the four-wheeler engine fills my ears. Lying flat on that floor, I don”t think I”ve ever been more attracted to her than I am right now. Even in her anger, she”s beautiful, and when she directs it at me… Fucking hell, it turns me the fuck on.
My balls ache, and I adjust my still raging hard-on with a twinge of pain.
After a few minutes, I roll over and sit up so I can get the fuck out of this cabin. Memories of Mom laughing with me on the floor before she started to get really sick assault me. This place used to be a sanctuary, but now it’s nothing but a house of horrors.
I stand so fast that I’m hit with a wave of dizziness, but I don’t slow. The pressure on my chest is too much. I barely manage to turn off the lights and fireplace before walking out the door, slamming it closed behind me, hoping none of the memories inside come home with me.
Once outside, everything feels lighter, and after I lock the door, I turn to face the river and listen to the sound of the rushing water.
I smile, staring up at the night sky. Bel thinks she’s calling the shots, but I know she’s simply waiting. Waiting for me to hunt her down and make her mine all over again. I will. I’ll claim her, and when I do, I’ll make sure she understands that nothing and no one will ever come between us again.