19. Drew
The desire to go to her calls to me. I want to see her, to be around her, to hold her, and be beside her, but I can’t. Not when I’m like this. In the past, I didn’t give a fuck about taking my anger out on her. I used her body as an outlet, and well, I wouldn’t have a problem with that so much if she wasn’t already fragile enough. I can’t risk doing something stupid and breaking the fragile trust building between us.
I pull out my phone and send her a quick text: I miss you. I care about you. I can’t wait to see you. I clutch my phone for a second, thinking about deleting it. Maybe it sounds stupid or too sappy. But I shake my head, lock my phone, and take a deep breath.
I can’t allow my anger to lead me. I’ve done that before, and it’s only ever left a path of chaos in its wake. I need to do better. I can do better.
Why didn”t I destroy him? Time and time again, I”ve had the opportunity, occasionally, to take him out, but I’ve always hesitated. Pussied out. And why? Because he”s my father? Before, I could see that, but now that I have the knowledge that I do, there’s no reason.
Yeah, he usually has guards with him. Their standing orders are always to punch first and ask questions later. The thought of my fist marks on his skin is enough to reignite the anger I”d started to feel simmering away. I want to crush his throat, slam his face into a wall, and punch him until he can”t see straight. All things he”s done to me over the years.
I”d take the pain to my hands, my knuckles split from hitting him, all of it. I”d revel in it, and then I”d show Bel so she”d understand what I”d done, that I had stood up to my father, and that I was done playing his little games.
I clench my fists and jog up the steps to the football team”s training gym. The heat and anger blazing through me might keep me away from her for now, but I”ll see her soon. I need to see her.
A few guys from the team are lifting weights when I enter. Weights line the mirrored room, leaving the middle of the floor open. The scent of sweat and rubber is overwhelming, but I ignore it. It”s certainly better than the overfull gym on campus that the rest of the student body can use.
I drop my bag by an empty bench and turn to eye a heavy bag hanging from the ceiling. This is what I need. I”m a damn good football player because I practice. Now, the next time my father comes at me like that, I’ll be ready.
I sit on the bench and carefully wrap my hands. While I don”t give a shit if they get bruised, I can”t let these guys see me being careless with the quarterback hands.
One of the second-string linemen wanders over as I finish up and strip off my jacket.
”Hey, Drew, what”s up, man? We haven”t seen you around.”
I make a noncommittal hum and study the bag. Most of the campus knows it”s rush season, and most of the campus has no idea about The Mill, but the rich ones, the football players, the trust-fund kids usually know because of a family legacy at some point. So when I level the guy with a long stare, he nods once and returns to his workout.
I”m known for being brutal on the field, and I sure as shit don”t want to invite open questions about my time or my whereabouts.
As I pound the bag, some of the anger begins to fizzle, channeled through my fists, burning away under the pain in my hands, my arms, my abs, as I move.
As always, my thoughts stray back to her. The way she”d look at me right now. I freeze. Well, shit. The way she used to look at me. Now, I feel like I might not know this new Bel at all. She”s different, no less appealing to me, but different.
Regardless of how much I want to destroy him, I need answers first. I need to understand the depths of his evil mind and what he”s done so I can make sure he doesn”t wheedle out of this like he does everything else. All my life, he”s gotten away from deplorable and evil things. Shit, I”m no saint, but what my father has done has always been so much worse. I once witnessed him cave a man’s skull in by bashing it on the side of his desk like an egg. He didn’t even bat an eye or seem fazed by his actions.
I punch the bag and think.
I punch the bag and plan.
I punch the bag and start planning the topple of my father”s empire. That bastard is going down soon, but I need more time and more answers.
I hit the bag again, but now that I”m thinking, I unwrap my hands, pack up my headphones, and grab my jacket. I need to start where things have changed.
The hospital.
Before I leave the gym, I toss my bag into my locker so I don”t have to lug it with me. It wasn”t a long workout, but I need to change and look more presentable. It sells the good ole boy routine better.
I keep clothes at the training center, and it doesn”t take long to change into a well-worn pair of jeans, a long-sleeved gray Henley, and one of my favorite pairs of black combat boots. I put a black zip-up hoodie under my letter jacket and leave the center. My hair is wet, and it makes me colder as I walk, but it doesn”t matter.
I call a ride app car when I reach the edge of campus before it unfolds into the small town that basically lives to support the school. The hospital isn”t too far away, but it”s too chilly to walk all the way there, and I don”t want to head back to The Mill for my motorcycle if it means running into Seb or explaining what I”m doing to Lee. I”m not ready for either of their unending questions.
The driver only asks my name and doesn”t say a word otherwise. Just the way I like them.
At the hospital, I head inside, hands tucked into my pockets, a slight smile playing on my lips. Unassuming is the goal, even if I rarely succeed. Women, though, usually succumb, and are always more helpful than men when it comes to information.
I cross to the section of the hospital my mother was being treated in. Thankfully, this is an exclusive area that usually requires a fat checkbook to use. The nurses and the doctors there remember me with one look. A nurse comes around the desk the second I cut into her line of sight.
”Mr. Marshall, what brings you back? Your mother was moved back to her home medical suite.”
I give her a smile, all white flashing teeth and dimples. She immediately relaxes, leaning close.
”Yes, I know she was moved. I just saw her, but I wanted to speak to her doctor if I”m able.”
Her forehead wrinkles slightly, and she looks around carefully. ”Her doctor is one of ours. He should be there now. Your father requested someone new when he took her away.”
”Oh.” I sigh and smile and play the part of the forgetting jock. It seems to sell because once again, she relaxes. ”I actually wanted to speak to her old doctor. He said he had some information for me the last time we spoke, and I just wanted to follow up with him. A Dr. Brooks, I believe.”
She relaxes further as if she was anticipating having to tell me she couldn”t help. Now that she can, her reason to live is restored.
She brushes away some stray hairs at her hairline and refreshes her smile. ”Just head down this corridor. His office is on the left. If he”s not in there, come back here, and I”ll page him.”
I nod once and head in the direction she”s pointed me. The office has his name outside on a brass plate. I knock on the door, and when there”s a muffled noise on the other side, I take it as a request to enter.
The second I shoulder the door open and the doctor catches sight of me, he jumps out of his chair and puts the length of the small room between us. His voice is all panic. ”I told them I wouldn”t say anything. I”m working like normal. Nothing has changed.” Despite his tone, his back is straight, and he meets my eyes squarely. Scared but not going to run.
”Doctor.” I mirror his position, holding my own hands up. ”I”m not here to hurt you. I only want to ask you a few questions.”
He shakes his head back and forth, trying to squeeze between the cabinet and the couch on the other side. ”No, I”m not. I told them I wouldn”t talk or they”d come back. I can”t.”
I enter the room and close the door behind me. This sets him practically shaking, but he still doesn’t make a move to hurt me or try to get past me. He’s got more balls than he thinks.
”Please, Doctor, it”s important. You took an oath, didn”t you? All I need is information, and no one will know it came from you. Besides, once it comes out that I even have this information, it won”t matter anyway.”
He looks like he wants to ask questions, but I shake my head gently, discouraging him as gently as I know how.
He still looks scared and hesitant. ”What...what do you want to know?”
That tells me he wants to help. He doesn”t like leaving my mom in her situation any more than I do.
I ease down on the end of the couch, putting myself a little lower than him. ”I just want to know what you know. What did my father want to keep hidden?”
His eyes turn a little darker, a little calmer now, and he eases away from the wall to lock the door and take his desk chair again. ”Your father is a monster.” He waves at his face where it’s battered and bruised.
I chuckle. ”Don”t get it twisted, Doctor. I”m a monster too, but I love my mother. But yes, I’ve been on the receiving end of his handiwork as well.”
The words threaten to stick tight in my throat. She”s not my real mom, a tiny voice blasts in the back of my mind. But she”s the only source of kindness, of love, I”ve had in my life until Bel, and I won”t just walk away from her after that.
He gives me a long look and nods. ”I think she”s being poisoned. Or has been and is currently. It”s a long, slow death he”s building for her.”
I swallow hard. ”Is it too late?”
This makes me think of Bel”s mom. Her body had lain right down the hall when Seb had it moved from the emergency room. I hadn”t been here, but I”d gotten the information out of the nurses then too as I kept track of Bel.
”I don”t believe so. When I was working with her, I started to synthesize an antidote, but I didn”t get very far when your father returned and requested I leave your mother”s care team.” The last is bit out, an edge in his voice now.
Good, this doctor has some fight at least.
”What do you need to finish it?”
”More of your Victoria’s blood. I have to make sure he hasn”t changed things now that I”ve interfered. You should probably hurry too. It seems like he might want to end it if he thinks he might get caught.”
I snort. ”My father has always underestimated me. He thinks I”m stupid, or maybe he just has low expectations. Either way, he won”t end things just because of me. Not yet.”
Doctor Brooks nods, and I consider Bel”s mom again. And what I considered that day in the kitchen that made me think we were related. ”Doctor, do you know the name of the doctor who was treating Ms. Jacobs before she passed?”
He eyes me and shakes his head. ”I can look it up, though.”
Once I have what I need from him, I give him my cell phone number and tell him to get to work. I”ll pay whatever he needs.
Then I go find the doctor who helped Bel”s mom. She”s tall and thin with dark hair and dark eyes. Younger than I thought. ”Doctor?”
She spins, a professional smile on her face. ”Yes, can I help you?”
”I”m a friend of Maybel Jacobs. I was here trying to get some information and then it occurred to me that you might be able to give me an answer.”
”I”d be happy to help.”
She actually sounds genuine. Imagine that.
”Is it possible that the illness Ms. Jacob”s suffered from could have been caused by long-term poison exposure as a young woman?”
She blinks once, her smile slipping away. ”Excuse me?”
”I know it”s a strange question. But you guys were treating it like a cancer. Could the cancer, or whatever, be caused by poison over a long period?”
There”s a moment when she casts her eyes down, considering. ”Let me look at the files, but I”m not sure.”
The hesitance in her voice is really all the answer I need. ”Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate your time.”
I walk away, my world spinning. Now, I need to figure out how to tell Bel my father is the one responsible for everything. And then I need to figure out how to keep Seb on a tight leash until this is all done so he doesn”t blow shit up before I can begin.