21. Drew
The anger simmers in my veins. Deeper and heavier than before, like a sticky paste. I have more questions than I have answers, and it’s frustrating as hell. Playing detective isn’t my thing, and having the patience to wait it out is also not standard for me.
My go-to at this point would be to find someone, start a fight, taunt the fucker, and then lay him out, or fuck the first willing girl I find, but neither of those things will get me Bel back, and I’d rather cut off my cock then put it in someone else at this point. So I take myself back to the gym to pound my rage into the bag some more, since my earlier session ended short.
I want to see her. I want to go home, drag her into my bed, and force her sweet little mouth down on my cock. It feels like it”s been too long even though it really hasn”t.
My phone beeps signaling and incoming text and I pull it out staring down at the screen.
Flower: Hey, where are you? At The Mill eating pizza.
I’m temptedto toss my evening plans aside and crash their little shit show, but even I know that would be a terrible idea. With the mood I’m in right now, there would be no stopping me from getting into a fight with Sebastian and or kidnapping Bel. I want to do that on almost any day, and today would be the worst when my temper is flaring, and my tolerance for bullshit is at an all-time low. I tell myself I’ll text her back later and close the message before sliding the phone back into my pocket.
I’d be shit for conversation right now, and if I’m going to do better by Bel, that means I’m going to rein my temper in and fix my shit before I talk to her. As I walk into the gym, I find there to be fewer people than usual.
There are a couple of the new mill guys a couple of yards ahead who cast glances every so often but none of them go out of their way to converse with me. It’s almost like I’m wearing a blinding neon sign that says: Don’t Fuck With Me.
I slip a headphone in my ear, but just one. Two would leave me distracted and potentially jumped by one of these fools. Steadying the heavy punching bag between my hands, I breathe deeply, and then rear my arm back and throw my first punch.
My fist slams into the bag hard, rocking it, and I release a long sigh of contempt.
Yes, I need this.
I punch and punch and punch until I”m panting and have to stop, hugging the bag to catch my breath. It feels good but it”s not enough. The steady rock of the bag isn”t my father”s face splitting open under my fists. It”s not his eyes swelling shut, or his lip bleeding.
I need something else, something a little more violent and dark than this to quiet the beast that’s clawing under my skin, itching to get out. But I can”t get what I need quiet yet. There are still some answers I need and things to put into place. I throw a few more punches at the bag but the initial satisfaction tempers. I breath and catch the new guys whispering and exchanging cash.
I turn to face them. ”What”s this? Collecting money for the book club?”
One of the kids, Tyson, or Taylor, I can”t fucking remember his name glares at me. ”Actually, it”s for a bet.”
For a second I”m just glad they didn”t bring hard drugs into my training center. ”Bet for what?”
The other one I don”t even bother trying to recall his name shakes his head at his friend like he doesn”t want to tell me.
I take one step toward them and the dumb one raises his hands, cash still in his fists. ”It”s for a fight, okay. That”s it.”
I won’t lie, my curiosity is piqued. ”What kind of a fight?”
”The underground, illegal kind. Every two weeks they have them at the old Sears center, where the mall used to be in Blackthorn.”
Well, shit. Why the fuck am I just now hearing about this? I study them for a minute. ”You”ve got business at Blackthorn, so much so that you know about secret illegal fights?”
He swallows hard and nods. ”Yeah? I used to attend, but got kicked out. My sister still goes there and I have a ton of friends there so I try to make visits back to see them when I can.”
I shrug and crack my knuckles. ”Funny enough I could use a good fight right now. When do they start, and how do I find more information?”
There’s a hard edge to his eyes as he takes in my clenched fists. ”There’s a bookie who takes all the bets in house when you arrive. If you’re wanting to place a bet that is. If you’re there to fight, you just show up, tell them you want to be included in the pot.”
Easy enough.I just can’t risk knowledge of me fighting at Blackthorn getting out and back to my father. It would be another black stain on his so-called perfect image.
I reach for the kid closest to me, and grip onto the lapels of his shirt giving him a little shake. I need to make it very clear what will happen if these two squeak to anyone.
”No one hears about this. Understand? If either of you speak a word about this conversation not only will I make sure the cops know about this event but I’ll ruin your fucking lives.”
I look between the two of them, and even though I’m not touching the other guy his gaze is filled with freight as well. Good. They both nod and I release the kid like he’s the plague, giving him a shove before wiping my hand off on the front of my shorts. I head back into the locker room, grab my duffel bag, and jacket then jog out of the gym.
Using my phone, I order one of the ride app cars. It”s dark but early so I have no trouble getting a car and heading out to Blackthorn University. It shouldn”t take long to find the fights if what the assholes told me is right. Blackthorn and Oakmount have always had a long standing rivalry of sorts. They’re a school for the offspring of the elite, just like Oakmount. Everyone wants to send their kids to these schools but have no clue the dark, fucked up shit that takes place behind the scenes.
The website might show a wholesome, fun, top tier university but once the sun goes down things are far from wholesome. I get another ping on my phone from Bel but again, I ignore it. Not because I don”t want to talk to her but because I want to talk to her too much.
All or nothing still rings in my ears and I”m not ready to show her everything yet. Especially with this new information I’ve learned. How do I tell her my father is the one who killed her mother? Slowly. Painfully. But it”s his fault and now he”s trying to do it to my mother too. I won”t fucking allow it.
All of this bullshit over money. How many people has he killed just to hang on to the numbers in his bank account?
I clench my fists, some of the anger spiraling through me tighter. Yes, I need to break someone”s face, that will make me feel better.
When we reached the abandoned Sears center I hop out of the car, tuck my hands into my pockets, and wander in the direction of voices. It doesn”t take me long to find it, like the kid said, it”s a damn party out here. They aren”t even trying to hide it. Interesting. I wonder who is running this and how I might get involved if I need this in the future.
I cut through the small crowd outside. There’s people smoking, conversing, drinking beer, and even some who are merely standing there surveying the crowd. I spot one guy standing at the edge of the crowd.
He”s a big dude but I meet his menacing gaze head-on. ”I want to fight.”
Carefully, he drops his gaze, sizing me up from boot to brow. ”Oakmount”s golden boy wants to get his hands dirty with us? Should we be honored?”
I narrow my eyes. ”I don”t care what the fuck you are, or who the fuck you are. I came here for a fight so if you aren’t the person I talk to about one then this conversation is over.”
There”s a murmuring voice in his earpiece. I barely pick up the buzz but I can”t make out the words. ”Fine, be in the circle at nine. I”ll make sure we put on a good show.”
”Rules?”
His eyes narrow this time. ”You don”t seem like the type that follows rules.”
I shrug. ”When it benefits me, I do, sure.”
”Don”t kill each other is about the only rule. Unfortunately death is difficult to cover up and comes with a lot of paperwork. Now fuck off.”
I smile, all white teeth, and back away toward the circle and the sound of pounding of flesh on flesh.
The crowd is a mix of upper class in my circles, upper class and legal circles I suppose, and lower class, who are mostly the fighters and what looks like bookies by the way they holler at the crowd and toss cash around.
While waiting I keep my eyes peeled for anyone I might know, or anyone I should know. Thankfully I don’t recognize anyone here, but that doesn”t mean there isn’t someone who won’t go running to my father when they discover who I am.
My attention swings back to the ring. It’s small, and only delineated by an LED circle on the floor marking the boundary and lighting up the fighters in a red hazy glow.
Blood splatters back on the opponents and I can”t help but stare, my adrenaline spiking, anticipation curling deep in my gut.
I spot one of the Blackthorn football players across the circle and shoot him the bird. He took down Lee in one of our games this season and all of us have had our eye on him for payback. I wonder if this will be my lucky opportunity.
His knuckles are wrapped, he’s in basketball shorts and a tank top. His features are tight, and serious while I”m still in my henley, jacket, and jeans. I don”t need to change to kick his fucking ass into the hard-packed dirt.
It feels like it takes forever but eventually the guy I spoke to steps into the circle, his eyes search the crowd and when they land on me he nods, his head and waves me in. The second I step over the line the football player I”d been watching wanders into the circle with a smirk.
”What do we have here? A little far from home, aren”t you Marshall?”
I shrug and study him, looking for any signs of weakness, anything that might give an edge or advantage.
”What made you decide to come and rub shoulders with us? Doesn’t daddy have more important things for you to be doing?”
I shrug off his words, while on the inside I’m seething with rage. “Daddy doesn”t have shit to do, because he doesn’t own me.” I growl.
His eyes narrow with suspicion like he’s expecting me to say more. When I don”t give it to him he shifts to face me, his fists curled.
”Are we finally done talking?”
Now the lights shift brighter, and I close the distance between us. ”If you want to throw the first punch, you know to make it a little more even. I won’t judge you. I know you’re used to taking cheap shots.”
”You fuckin...” he swings and I lean back to dodge the hard right hook. All I can do is grin, taunting him. We dance around each other for a minute and I take my first shot, my fist connecting hard with his ribs.
Oh fuck the give under my knuckles is fucking satisfying.
Not as good as fucking Bel into submission or hearing her sweet moans of plesure but pretty good. I swing again but he dances out of the way at the last second, and throws a hit of his own, this time aiming for my face. It”s nothing to dodge. I’m lightning on my feet. But as I do, his other hand comes out of nowhere, and his knuckles slam hard into my cheek.
White hot fire splits up my cheekbone, radiating into my eye socket. I grit my teeth and swallow the pain down. Not the first time I”ve been hit, not even the tenth, and my dad hits harder anyway.
The fucker swings again and I block is hit with my forearm, I take the opportunity to blast him in the gut and when he doubles over in pain, I pull closer, grab him by the back of the head and slam my knee into his face.
The crowd roars with life, and I release him with a shove, taking a couple of steps back. I bounce on the balls of my feet, watching as blood pours from his nose. I get distracted watching as his blood paints the dirt, and he manages to get another hit on me, this time his knuckles slam into my upper ribs.
Pain snakes up my side, and into my chest, and I do my best to hide any wincing. Can’t let this fucker think he’s got one up on me. We continue to beat on each other until finally he let’s his guard down and I lunge forward, my fist connecting with his temple. The hit is hard enough that one moment he’s standing there and the next he’s out cold, his body a sack of bricks on the ground.
Well shit.My hands are throbbing, my body aches like it hasn’t in a long time, but more than that the pressure on my chest is gone. The desire for blood, for pain, it’s merely a distant memory now. Of course the crowd goes wild, people cheering, and rushing toward the circle. The guy who told me when to fight steps back into the circle, grabs my arm and raises it in the air signifying that I’ve won.
All I can do is grin. The guy releases my arm and I let it fall back down to my side, then he turns away from me, taking a stack of money from one of the bookies.
“Looks like you got what it takes Marshall. Anytime you’re looking for a fight let me know.” He passes the stack of cash to me, along with a business card that he’s placed on top. ”Not that you need it, but here’s your winnings.”
He’s right I don’t need the cash, not at all.
Which gives me an idea… I can’t change the fact that Maybel lost her mother and I wasn’t there to support her but maybe I can offer her an alternative, maybe take the money and create a scholarship of some sort. I’ll have plenty of time to think about that later.
“Thanks,” I mumble, and take the stack, stuffing it into my pocket.
Now that the desire to destroy and hurt is tamped down I can go home, or not since I remember then that Bel is at The Mill and all it will take is one look for me to have her pinned against the wall, my cock sinking deep inside her.
Fucking hell. I run my hands through my sweaty hair, my muscles ache, and I feel like one giant ass bruise. As I look around the space I notice a makeshift bar in the back and walk over to it. Nothing a little alcohol can’t fix. I’ll just have one or two drinks, to numb the pain a bit. That should buy me enough time, that is unless the guys decide to take her out somewhere. I shake my head, remembering that Sebastian is there and he would never let anything happen to her. Just as I reach the bar a girl in a mini dress with her tits hanging out the top sashays over to me. I watch out of the corner of my eye as she reaches for me, and I react before I can think better of it, my hand circling her slender wrist.
“I’m not interested.” I sneer, and release her wrist.
Refusing to take the hint she smiles like I’ve just become her favorite challenge. “I’m up for a little pain with my pleasure.”
My annoyance grows, and it’s a weird feeling to have. Before Bel I would’ve taken her up on the offer, walked her outside in the alley, fucked her until I came and walked back inside without blinking an eye. Now the thought makes my stomach churn. There’s only Bel. She’s ruined me for anyone else and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I already said I’m not interested. Don’t make me, make you disappear.”
“Okay, I get it.’ She rolls her eyes and tosses her brown curls over her shoulder.
I let out a sigh of relief when she turns and walks away. Finally. There’s a stack of water bottles in front of me and I snag one pressing the cold plastic to my aching cheek. That”s going to fucking hurt tomorrow. A deep satisfied sensation settles in my bones. I don”t feel it often, except after a brutal game, or after chasing down my little wallflower to punish her.
“Want anything?” The bartender finally notices me.
“Yeah, I’ll take a rum and Coke and a couple of shots of tequila.”
“You got it.” He smiles, and honestly I feel he’s way too happy to be working behind the bar at this place but whatever. Nothing can ruin the high I’m on.
He places the beverages down in front of me and I slam back the tequila shots right away. The burn feels so good, and warms me all over.
“Two more.” I gesture to him.
He disappears again and I grab the rum and Coke taking a sip of it. My thoughts inevitably turn back to Bel. I can’t fucking escape her. Even when I don’t want to be thinking about her I find that’s all I can do. She’s more than an obsession. She’s embedded in my DNA, under my skin, a part of who I am.
Removing her existence from my brain, or forgetting about her would be like forgetting who I myself am. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I tug it out looking down at the text on the screen.
Flower:I miss you and I hate myself for it.
The weightof her words are almost more than I can bear. She misses me and hates herself for it. I consider firing back a text, but decide otherwise. Bel’s always been a hands-on learner, and I think maybe she needs me to remind her how much I care for her.
While I’m doing my best not to fuck this up I can’t push her away, or keep her at a distance without causing her harm. There’s a fine line with her and I’m going to do my very best to make certain she sees how serious I am.
The bartender places the next two shots down on the bar, and I take them slinging them back like they’re water. Then I grab my wallet, and toss a couple of bills down on the bar. I’m not sure if my body is up for another challenge tonight but I’m going to do it any way.
I guess while find out if I can make it into Sebastian’s fucking princess tower without getting my ass kicked or otherwise detected. If I have it my way, Bel will be stuffed full of my cock by the night”s end. I need her like I need air, like I need the heart beating in my chest.