Chapter 25
Given the circumstances, Spencer had to admit that his wife was reacting well.
She remained still for a moment, and he knew that it would go one of two ways once she moved. Either she would fly into rage, destroying everything in her path while cursing his name, or she would enter the room fully and want to listen to him.
Mercifully, she chose the latter, though she did not acknowledge him. Instead, she walked over to the boy, looking at him for a moment in silence before clearing her throat.
“I shall send for tea,” she said quietly, leaving.
Sophia looked at him, and then at the empty doorway.
“She seems… nice.”
“She is. I told you that she would understand.”
“I do not know that I believe that, but she seems nice. Gentle.”
“When she wants to be,” he chuckled. “Even if she is angry, it will not be with you. Come, sit down.”
“I am aware that I am intruding, Spencer. I will only stay if she allows it.”
“And she will. Enough of that for now. My wife wishes to host her guests, and that should be proof enough that she is happy for you to be here.”
Sophia sat down without further protest, and Spencer sat a short distance away. When Anna returned, she sat by Gilbert, who was staring at her with the widest eyes that Spencer had ever seen.
“Hello,” she said softly. “My name is Anna.”
“Mama!” he announced, clapping his hands together.
“I think Aunt would be better,” she laughed, looking at Sophia. “Might I play with him?”
“If you wish.”
There was almost an ease to the air, one that Spencer had not expected. It was as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, for at last his wife knew the truth. It was a relief to know that he no longer had to hide his sister.
Half-sister, he remembered, wincing at the term. It was not how he had felt about Sophia from the moment he learned of her existence. She had always simply been his sister, but she did not see it that way.
“We shall not be here long,” Sophia said without needing to be asked. “I would not have come at all, but my son is unwell, and I did not know where else to turn.”
“You are more than welcome to stay as long as you need,” Anna replied.
“I told her that you would say that,” Spencer said. “I know that my actions might not have been the correct ones, but I knew that you would not make things difficult for her.”
He had perhaps said it with rather too much enthusiasm, for both ladies narrowed their eyes at him. Anna poured Sophia a tea and sat beside her, and Spencer felt as though he was the intruder more than anyone.
“You have made a lovely home here,” Sophia told Anna. “It is somehow homely even with how large it is.”
“Oh, thank you! That was my concern when I began. It is difficult to add warmth to stone walls.”
“Believe me, I know. My little house is the same, and I wish that it were more like this. This feels like a home.”
“Where do you live? My dear husband has not told me.”
“He has not told you anything,” Sophia chuckled sadly. “He did not say a word of you to me, either. You must have thought that he was living a double life of sorts.”
“It was precisely that! We all thought that he had a secret family, but we did not once consider that the family was by blood.”
“Well, here we are.”
“Here you are.”
A silence settled, and Spencer wondered if he should have said something, but he knew it would have only made things worse again.
It was clear that the two ladies did not want to talk to him at that moment, and he could hardly blame them for that.
He was simply pleased that he had been correct in his assumptions and that Anna would hold no ill will toward his sister.
“So, tell me about yourself,” Sophia continued. “Who has managed to stomach my half-brother for this long?”
“Well, my name is Anna,” she chuckled. “You are to call me that, of course. I like to read, I take my role as duchess with the utmost sincerity, and I am partial to horseback riding.”
“As am I! I lived on a farm before, and the horses were my favorite part of it. I think they are the most beautiful creatures.”
“Then perhaps we might do so tomorrow? I am certain that my husband would not mind caring for his nephew for a short while.”
Spencer did mind, in truth, for he was meant to see Alexander that morning, but he could make it work. What was most important to him was that his wife and his sister were comfortable with their new arrangements, which meant the possibility of plans changing.
“Consider it done,” he agreed. “He and I can read for a while. He could also assist me with my ledgers, for I need some help there.”
The child babbled happily, and the three adults laughed. Sophia took him in her arms and sighed, rising to leave.
“This has been lovely,” she said softly, looking at Spencer. “I do mean that.”
“I am pleased. I only want you to be happy, Sophia, and if this is where you are happiest, it is what will be done.”
“I know. Perhaps it was the family pride and stubbornness clouding my judgment. In any case, the journey was long, and I would like to go to my room. Will Gilbert be with me?”
“He can,” Anna explained, “if you would like to keep him close. However, we do have the nursery prepared for him, if that is what you would prefer.”
Sophia’s eyes sparkled at the thought of two rooms—a luxury after her tiny northern cottage.
“I could not possibly–”
“I know,” Anna nodded. “The Madden stubbornness and pride. Even so, it is what I want to do for you, so I hope that you accept it.”
Albeit reluctantly, Sophia did. Thanking them quietly, she raced away with a servant.
“I know that she is not the most gentle,” Spencer began.
“I do not blame her. I need not know what she has been through to know that she needed to develop a hard exterior. I understand that she might not be best pleased to see me.”
“Is that because you feel that way about her? I shall not tell her, Anna, but I do want you to be honest with me.”
“In the same way that you were?” she asked, taking a steady breath. “My apologies. Forget that I said that, for you have at least told me now.”
“I can explain, Anna.”
“I do not want you to,” she replied simply. “Not yet, at least. I wish to adjust myself to our new situation, and then I will be ready to listen. For now, it is best that we think of our guests.”
“But you do not hate her?”
“Of course not. I do not hate either of you, for what it is worth. The ladies will be astounded by all of this, but that is not what matters. They will come to accept her, too, if she stays here in London.”
“I told her that, but I do not think that she wants to. She is afraid of what they will all say about the Duke’s blind and illegitimate sister. I do fear for her, because here there is scandal, but there is no place for a child. She cannot cope with him alone.”
He understood that he was explaining himself again, which Anna did not want, but he could not help himself. He wanted her to know that he had not left in order to escape her. That had never been the case. She moved so that she was sitting beside him, her head on his shoulder.
There was an ease in how they were, as if he had never been away at all, and he wondered just how she did it; how she was able to so easily act as though nothing had gone awry.
“I shall see what I can do. It is one thing for a brother to say that a lady will be fine, and another entirely for a fellow lady to say it. I will not allow any harm to come to her. I hope you know that.”
“I do,” he replied, kissing the top of her head without thinking. “In time, she will come to know it too.”
“Shall they want dinner?” she asked, pulling away and standing. “The staff are aware that they are here, of course, but if there is anything that they do not like, I would like for them to know sooner rather than later, so that we do not make them uncomfortable.”
“You truly do think of everything.”
“As is the role of a duchess with guests. I shall assume that you know their preferences?”
“As the one who makes purchases for them when I am there, I know them all too well. Gilbert prefers softer food, so potatoes and gravy for the most part, and Sophia… she is interesting.”
“In what sense? Is she difficult to feed?”
“On the contrary. She likes to try more exotic things that she is unable to have. I found chocolate for her once, and I thought she was going to cry.”
“Then consider it done. I will arrange for something simple tonight, as it has been a long day, and then tomorrow it will be something special. Is that alright?”
Spencer looked at his wife, her tired eyes somehow still sparkling, and wondered just what he did to have a wife like her.
He wished that he had not been such a fool, for he could have been honest from the start and protected all of them the way he had wanted, but because of his actions, they had all suffered, and he wanted to make things better.
Then again, Sophia had never wanted to go to London.
She had been cold toward Spencer, but she had needed him too much to push him away completely.
The truth of the matter was that only one lady had had no say in what happened at all, and that was Anna.
He felt like the worst husband in London, even if he knew it was not true.
“It sounds wonderful,” he replied. “Anna– I know that you do not wish to discuss this now, but are you certain that you do not hate me for what I have done?”
She looked at him in thought for a moment, then nodded her head.
“Of course I am. If I hated you, I would have arranged a second funeral for you. Perhaps this time, there would have been a body to lay to rest, too.”
She laughed, and he could not help but do the same. It had all been quite ridiculous, he had to admit, but it was going to be better now. He had done the hardest part, and now they could be a family.
But that night, he could not sleep. He had done as Anna requested and not pushed to tell her what had happened, but it played on his mind.
He needed her to know the truth, for the one thing he could not stand was the thought that she believed it was somehow her own fault.
The blame lay entirely at his feet, and there was no changing that.
He jumped out of bed, dressing hastily and going to her room. On the way, he remembered that she would answer the door wearing his favorite thing, and he stifled a groan. He did not know how he would be able to think properly if that was the case.
But he did not need to knock, for it was opening just as she arrived, and there she was—scantily clad, her hair wild, looking at him expectantly.
If only he knew what to give her.