Chapter 11
11
J a’vari:
“Really, Ja’vari? Like, how do you even know the kid is yours? I mean, you’ve been gone for years, and you and your ex conveniently end up at the same hotel? You don’t think that’s weird?” Vanessa questioned with attitude. I’d just told her that Radiance was back, and she had my daughter. From the start of our relationship, Vanessa knew about Radiance, and though they’d never met, I felt she saw Radiance as a threat.
I chuckled. “She’s mine.” Despite the separation and the well-kept secret, there was no doubt in my mind that Ja’Lani was mine. Radiance wasn’t one to sleep around. Plus, Ja’Lani resembled me more than I could admit.
“How the hell do you know?”
Vanessa was in the business of yelling and cursing—two things I tried to avoid when having a discussion. “I know this shit might upset you and seem to come from left field, but you gotta control your anger, Vanessa. I’m not out here cursing and disrespecting you. Hand out the same respect for me.” The tone of my voice never changed.
Glaring my way, Vanessa exhaled deeply. “Ja’vari, just tell me, how am I supposed to respond? I’ve been your girlfriend for almost a year. From day one, you told me about your ex, and I knew you were never really over her, but I looked past it. Now you telling me we flew more than twelve hours and different time zones for you to tell me that same ex is back with your baby? Wait, a baby you knew nothing about, and you want me to just be okay with that? How the heck am I supposed to react? Tell me that.”
“I’on know.” I shrugged. Honestly, I didn’t have the answer, and I didn’t want to be insensitive, but at the moment, Vanessa’s feelings weren’t my top priority.
We stood in silence briefly before Vanessa spoke again, this time calmer than before. “How do you know the baby belongs to you? Seriously, you don’t think maybe she sees that you’re doing well for yourself, happy with me, and just wanted to return to ruin everything?”
It took a lot for me not to laugh. I’d allowed Vanessa to call herself my girlfriend, when we both knew that wasn’t the case, but when she mentioned us being happy and it being ruined, I almost lost it. “Radiance not even that type of person.”
With pursed lips and a scoff, Vanessa crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, you know so much about her, tell me what type of person she is then, Ja’vari.”
I could have stood there, continuing to go back-and-forth with Vanessa, but the truth was that I didn’t have the energy, and I also felt what was or wasn’t between Radiance and me, concerning our child, Vanessa had nothing to do with. “Out of respect that you and I kick it, I felt you should know that I’d ran into my ex, and she has my child. It wasn’t for a debatable conversation on whether the child was mine or not or even to cause conflict between the two of us. It’s just something I felt you should know now rather than later.”
“We just kicking it now?” she questioned in disbelief. “You still not with that title shit, even after all this time? Fucking pathetic.” Moments like this was why Vanessa and I could never really be exclusive. She came with a lot of insults, directly and indirectly. Not only that, but she was also pushing thirty, and besides the good job, she was rather immature. “I don’t have the time,” she added, storming away as she cursed under her breath.
Sitting back on the barstool, I pinched the bridge of my nose. It was only day two of this business trip, and it was already more consuming than the last year of my life.
“I see you like your mother and don’t play about no food.” I chuckled, handing Ja’Lani another curly fry from my plate. Radiance, Ja’Lani, and I were at Tacos I’d give her some time. After sitting in the room, flipping the channels, I reached out to Radiance, and after a short conversation, I asked her to dinner. When Radiance agreed, I was shocked. I was positive she’d decline. “Look at your mother, putting that shit down,” I joked, looking over to Radiance as she demolished her tacos. Radiance had no shame when it came to eating. I used to love it, and Ja’Lani seemed to be like mother, like daughter.
“Oh, shut up.” Radiance tossed up her middle finger before finishing another bite of food.
“She’s just like you,” I noted again with a chuckle.
“Yeah, well, I am her mother.” Radiance spoke proudly.
Hearing the little burp and giggle from Ja’Lani, we both looked her way with laughter. “And it looks like I am her father.” My laughter never slowed, looking down at Ja’Lani. Her burping and laughter had been a childish trait of mine.
Radiance stopped her laughter, her smile slowly faded, and her eyes seemed to gloss with tears, though she did a good job keeping them from falling. “That you are.”
I looked to Ja’Lani, and on cue, she peered up at me with a mouthful of food, greasy face, and smile. It was like Ja’Lani knew who I was without needing the introduction, and she had been waiting since birth for moments like this. “You just kno…”
“This what the fuck we doing, Ja’vari?” Vanessa stood directly over me with her hands on her hips. “You really out with this chick and her daughter, not even bothering to hit me up after I left?”
There were many reasons Vanessa’s antics were out of line, the main being her making a scene in a public place, and the other being her calling Ja’Lani Radiance’s daughter while dismissing she was also mine. I looked to Radiance. “Radiance, this is Vanessa. Vanessa, this i—”
“I don’t give a fuck who she is. I just want to know is this what the fuck we doing, Ja’vari?”
“Umm, I’m gonna go.” Radiance spoke after clearing her throat.
“Nah, sit down.” I motioned her back into her chair once I saw her stand from my peripheral. My eyes never wavered from Vanessa’s. Still never looking Radiance’s way, I noticed she had sat back down as I’d instructed. “You need to calm the fuck down.” I never raised my voice, but my tone was firm.
Scoffing, Vanessa looked from me to Ja’Lani, then to Radiance, before her gaze finally settled back on me. I could see the anger dancing freely in her eyes. I didn’t speak, but my expression was telling her to just walk away. The second I saw her full lips separate, I knew she wasn’t walking away without a fight. “Ja’vari, tell me why you think it’s okay that you were beating my guts in just last night to you smiling up in this bitch’s face as if I don’t mean nothing to you?”
My jaw tightened, hearing her call Radiance out of her name, along with the fact that most of the people in the restaurant were now staring in our direction. “Yeah, umm, on that note, I am going to head out.” Radiance once again stood, and this time, I didn’t bother stopping her because there was no way I’d expect her to stay after the disrespect. Leaning my way, she grasped Ja’Lani from my arms. “Y’all have a good night,” Radiance said sweetly. I couldn’t lie. She’d grown up for sure and not just with age because I remembered a time, half the people in this establishment and I would be doing everything to pry Radiance from Vanessa.
“Yeah, we will. Now carry yo’ ass,” Vanessa said as if she had actually done something. Radiance never reacted.
With my jaw still tight, I reached into my pocket, grabbing my wallet, before pulling out a crisp one-hundred-dollar bill and tossing it on the table. I knew our meals hadn’t cost that much, but the waiter could keep the change. I had to get the hell out of there before I spazzed. Standing, I didn’t even bother addressing Vanessa or responding to her continually calling my name. This shit was dead with her, and it was impossible to revive.
“Can we talk please?” Vanessa stood before me. She was barefoot, in biker shorts and a tank, her hair in a messy bun, and her face clear of makeup. Vanessa was jaw dropping beautiful with sun-kissed brown skin, slanted, light brown eyes, and a smile that displayed a small gap. She had deep dimples and a body that even a straight woman admired. She had an exotic yet distinguished look. She was bad, but her nasty attitude made it hard to like her. Funny enough, we only connected because, for a while, she and I were the only Americans in the office after Alan and Johnson had relocated.
Sitting up, I paused the TV that was playing highlights from the previous games played. “Shoot.”
Vanessa exhaled deeply, sitting beside me on the couch. “I’m sorry.”
I didn’t speak because I was expecting something else to come after, but when I realized nothing was following, I spoke. “You and I both know we don’t hold a title… We kick it, and it’s cool, but I was honest and upfront from the start on what it was. But even with no title, I have never disrespected you, and until tonight, you hadn’t either. I know finding out I fathered a child can fuck you up, but Vanessa, that was before you, and hell, I just found out, too, so could you imagine how I feel?”
The entire time I spoke, Vanessa avoided looking my way, but once I was done, she slowly turned her head, her gaze meeting mine. She shrugged. “I know it’s hard, but just think about it my way. How do you think I feel? Like, title or not, we been kicking it damn near as a couple for a minute now, so you gotta understand where my frustration comes in at.”
“Your feelings are valid, but your disrespect is not. Radiance never disrespected you. In fact, she didn’t even acknowledge you.”
“That in itself is disrespectful though. Like she see me, speak on it. How you say she hasn’t disrespected me and that’s disrespectful?”
I chuckled lowly. “You seeing things differently than I do on this situation, and because I can tell you still a little hostile, I am going to respectfully end this conversation again. Maybe we can try this shit later or something, but right now is not the time.” I respected all that respected me, but once those lines were crossed, all bets were off.
“Really, Ja’vari, over someone that didn’t even want to be with you because she was selfish and stayed back?”
Yeah, Vanessa had dead ass lost her mind. I’d had one too many pillow talks with her, and now she was tossing my words back in my face. Standing to my full height, I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Good night, Vanessa.” I walked out of the hotel room for the second time tonight with no plans on returning this time. Vanessa was losing it and fast.