Chapter 22
TWENTY TWO
Grey
Felix wheels his suitcase out, maybe even more eager than I am to get out of here. “You sure you packed everything?” He nods. “Your journal?”
“Yes, I did.” I take his bag from him, putting it into my trunk.
Felix suggested loading up the car tonight because I always feel worse in the morning.
While I’ve healed a lot these last few months, mornings are still a bit rough.
When we get back I have my six-month checkup, and I hope everything is healing like it should.
There are so many things I’ve wanted to start doing again, and now, I just want to do them all with him.
We’re going to meet Oli and Andre in the morning and then go to the airport together with Atlas and Ryker. “I think I’ve got everything important. It’s only a week.” When he smiles now it reaches his eyes in a way that warms my chest.
It’s nice out here right now. I think about starting a fire and sitting outside for a bit. It’s not raining tonight and this has become my favorite way to end the day. Just us outside, nothing but the stars shining down on him, and making out like fucking teenagers.
Then we go inside, and the things he makes me feel, the things he does to me . . . I know he’s new to all of it, but he unravels me with ease.
I want to touch him in return, but he’s a bit cagey when I bring it up.
I haven’t touched him since that night on my couch, and I’m perfectly fine going at whatever pace he needs to go.
Still, I want to treat his gorgeous body with the same care and attention he’s shown me.
“It’s alright. The less clothes you pack means the less you’ll wear.
” Red creeps across his cheeks and I smile, kissing him.
“I’m excited to go.”
I kiss him again, squeezing his biceps. “Just you, me, and the setting sun, Angel.” My hands slide down the backs of his thighs, cupping him behind the knees and lifting him onto my car.
His big brown eyes widen. Kissing his neck, I drink in the needy moan that escapes his lips as his arms loop around my neck.
“What do you want to do while we’re there? ”
I kiss him down until he’s lying on top of my hood, his erection pressing against mine. I want to taste him, suck him, make him as crazy as he makes me. “I’m not sure,” he whispers. “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t care as long as it involves you in some stage of undress, moaning with your thick cock filling my mouth.
” He smiles against my lips. “Or my ass.” I grind against him again and his breath hitches, the setting sun our backdrop.
I’ve never been one for public sex, but if I could get him spread out naked on my car right now, I would.
“I want to make you come, Felix.” His sharp inhale makes me smile.
“You want me to make you feel good, baby?”
He cups my face, pulling my attention back to him.
“We should go inside.” His thumb rubs the back of my neck.
“You should rest your leg.” We spent the day by the lake and walked a little hiking trail.
He’s right, I know he is, but common sense who?
I want him under me, writhing and moaning.
Felix feels damn near like heaven. “Maybe a bath first and see how you feel?”
“Will you get in with me?” I want him naked, but I know he gets insecure. I want him to open up to me. I want to extinguish every self-conscious thought in his beautiful mind.
“What is this? To you?” My body goes rigid. My lips pull off his neck to look at him. Really look at him. “I’m sorry, I’m just . . . I want to know what this is between us.”
In the past, I’ve been hesitant. Being official with someone means relying on them.
It means some level of trust comes with it, and I’ve never been one to trust easily.
I’ve been hurt by others, but I know with one hundred percent certainty I will not be hurt by him.
He’s everything I’ve been waiting for. He’s my burst of sunlight in a dark forest. “What do you want?” My lips ghost the edge of his jaw.
“You want me to say that you’re mine?” My voice is a whisper.
“Because you are mine. If you want to be.”
I nip his earlobe, his voice a whine as he says, “I do. I do want that.”
“Then let’s go take a bath.” My nose runs through his hair. He smells like cinnamon and vanilla from the cookies he made earlier. “Then let me show you what it means to be mine.”
“Grey, I—” Felix opens his mouth then shuts it as we both turn toward the sound of gravel crunching. He goes rigid in my arms. “Grey,” he whimpers. Fuck, the gate.
“Don’t move,” I whisper. “Don’t panic. You’re safe, you hear me? Safe.”
“Grey.”
“Shh.” I kiss him gently. “I protect what’s mine. And you are mine.”
My knee is killing me, but I straighten to my full height, pulling out of his arms. I try my best not to show any limp or weakness. I may be injured, but I have no qualms about putting this asshole six feet under.
Steven parks his car and gets out. I want to rip the smile clean off his face. “So.” He shrugs, walking up my driveway. “I was coming by to check if you’ve seen anything, but I think my suspicions are confirmed.”
“Get off my property.”
“You first.” He smirks. My fists clench. How many years do you get for assaulting an officer? It might be worth it. “Joke. Just a joke.” Steven holds his hands up in mock surrender, still walking toward us.
“Go to the house and lock the fucking door.”
“No! I’m not leaving you out here alone!” he hisses.
“You know I usually love it when you boss me around but now is not the time.” I look back at him. “Get in the house.”
“No.” The defiant twist of his mouth makes pride swell in my chest. I know that months ago he would have cowered and done what I asked. Now there’s a fire in his eyes, and I’m so damn proud of him.
Even if he’s being stubborn. “Felix. Go.”
“No.” He hugs me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist. I watch Steven’s dark eyes flick to his hands. That’s right, fucker. “This is my mess,” he whispers.
“Your mess is my mess.” I look back at him. “Stay behind me.”
He concedes to that. The door is only a few feet away, and I still think I can take Steven even with my injury.
“Just want to talk.”
“And I want you to fuck off my property. Felix, call the actual cops.”
Steven’s eyes blaze. “Sleeping with another man’s husband? And I’m the criminal?”
“He left you. He doesn’t want anything to do with your abusive ass. Get off my property.” Not that I want to use it, but I wish I had my gun on me. I’m hyperaware of the one on his hip.
“Abusive? Felix, what stories are you spinning now? I swear he loves the attention. Makes shit up. It’s time to come home now.” He steps toward us.
“Not one fucking step.” I walk up to him carefully, holding myself steady. “If you don’t fuck off back down my driveway, you won’t be returning home either.”
“Are you threatening an officer?”
“You bet your ass I am.” I glare down at him. I haven’t done much physically in nearly six months, but I’ve been a defenseman for nearly two decades. There is no scenario where this asshole will take Felix back with him.
“You think I’m scared of some injured washed-up hockey player?”
“Let me show you how washed up I am.” I take another step, looking down at him.
I catch it. A faint flicker, but it’s there.
Fear. Good. “You will never lay another fucking finger on him, as long as you live.” I step closer, nearly breathing the same air as this troll.
“Depending on your next move, that timeline will shorten.”
Steven eyes me a moment, and then they flicker to Felix. “Is this really it? This how you repay me for all I’ve done for you?”
“Yes.” I answer for him. Steven’s cold eyes snap back to mine.
“I’m done.” Surprised, I almost take my eyes off him to look at Felix. “I’m not going back. I want a divorce.” My gorgeous brave boy. Steven stares at him. “I want a divorce.”
It takes a minute for the words to sink in. Some of his fight deflates. “You heard my man.” I smirk. “Now get the hell off our property.”
Some of the tension eases when he takes a few steps back. “You’ll regret this.” He turns and walks back down the driveway, before getting into his car and peeling away. I don’t breathe until he’s out the gate and gone.
Felix collapses into me. I squeeze him tight, pressing kisses into his hair. “You’re fine. You’re okay.” His chest heaves against me. “So brave, baby.” I plant kisses across his forehead. “I’m so proud of you.” His fingers twist in my sleeves.
“What if he comes back tonight?” We leave in the morning, so it’s not like we can file paperwork right now.
“What if we leave tonight? I’ll text Oli and ask if we can stay the night with them. We’re all going to the same place tomorrow anyway. And when we get back, we will end this.” He looks up at me and nods. “Good. Let’s give it a few and then get the hell out of here.”
I should try and sleep.
With Felix lying on my chest snoring softly, I just can’t stop looking at him.
It’s like this precious thing just fell into my life, and I’m afraid to take my eyes off him.
Steven rattled me more than I’ll admit. Not because I’m afraid of him or think Felix will go back.
I’m afraid that he’ll get under Felix’s skin.
He stood up to him, though, and damn, I’m so fucking proud.
Oli and Andre were more than happy to let us stay over tonight. I explained what had happened, and once I caught Oli up on everything, he wanted to hunt Steven down himself.
We’re lying on the couch, and Felix is lying on top of me tucked into my arm and the back cushions.
Snug and safe. Right in my arms where he belongs.
He fell asleep during a movie, and now I’m watching one of the old Otters games I missed before I got my head out of my ass.
I watch mindlessly while my fingers play in the soft strands of his brown hair, overwhelming emotions punching through me.
Felix’s glasses are on the table. We should probably get up and move to the guest room, but I don’t want to wake him. I can sleep on the plane. “How’s he doing?” Oli whispers, walking into the living room.
“He’s okay. Finally passed out.” I smile down at him. The weight of him feels amazing.
“Want to give me that asshole’s address? We can pay him a fucking visit. I’ll grab a couple of guys from the team. You know Viktor, he doesn’t need much reason to fight someone.” I laugh knowing he’ll want to do just that. “This the Hydra playoff game?”
I nod. “Missed a few.” I watch him sleeping, content here with him in my arms. “How do you deal with it?”
“With what?”
“Wanting to rip Andre’s father limb from fucking limb.” My fingers continue their path through his hair before I rub my thumb gently along his temple.
“Well, the thought of life in prison sounds fucking terrible.” He chuckles. “Unfortunately for me, I didn’t know what was going on until it all escalated. We’ve dealt with a lot of legal shit, and every time we have to go down and take care of it, I feel like I’m going to snap.”
“What keeps you from doing that?”
“Andre.” Oli smiles sadly. “That’s not what he needs. He needs me to support him not fight his battles for him. I know I can’t solve everyone’s fucking issues for them.”
“Glad you’re finally realizing that.”
He slaps my bicep.
“What’s going on?” Andre comes into the living room and sees Felix asleep. He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Shit, sorry.”
Oli motions him over, and Andre drops down onto his lap. Watching these two behemoths share such a small space makes me laugh. “Oh, shit, this is the game Ivan lost a tooth in.” Andre laughs. “He was so pissed.” Oli kisses his shoulder. “How is he doing?” He looks at Felix.
“Best he can.” We have a shitstorm to go back to, but I’ll help him in whatever way he needs me to. Felix will never have to go through this alone.
“Grey’s got himself a boyfriend,” Andre singsongs in a whisper.
There’s a lot of Felix’s story I don’t know yet. I only hope one day he’ll feel safe enough to share it with me. “Can I ask something personal?” I ask Andre. “Are you seeing someone? Like for therapy?”
Andre looks to Oli, who nods. “Both of us are. Together.”
“Really?”
Oli nods. “While I love the shit out of him, we also have a lot of things we need to work through. We spent over a decade at each other’s throats, and this type of shift has taken some getting used to.”
“You see, I’m not sure if you’re aware, Grey, but your friend is a stubborn asshole.” Oli glares up at him, but his blue eyes hold no anger. Just warmth. “Who I love more than anything.”
Oli attempts to push him off his lap, but Andre kisses the side of his face. “Asshole. But yeah, we’re doing online therapy together.” He looks up at Andre. “Can’t believe you’re going to be my husband in a week.”
Andre kisses him. “Better run while you still can.”
“Never in a million years. Besides . . .” He lifts his boxers up his thigh, showing the outline of a phoenix. “Who would color my tattoos?” Andre grins wide.
“That looks sick. When are you going to get it finished?”
Oli shakes his head. “This is for him to color in. Leaving it as an outline. I’m going to get another one on my other thigh once he tells me what he wants.”
Andre’s coloring reminds me of Felix’s journal. “He keeps a bullet journal. He writes everything in it.”
“Probably helps with the anxiety. Coloring slows my brain down, focuses my thoughts. When everything gets a bit too much in here . . .” He points to his head. “I break out the colored pencils and center myself.”
I look back down at Felix. My fingers run through his hair.
“I’ve never felt like this before.” Like everything I need is inside this one person.
That feeling of knowing no matter what happens you have each other.
I’m always used to taking care of everyone around me.
I don’t mind and I love that they know they can count on me, but for the first time I have someone I can rely on.
Someone I can go to, to help me . . . take care of me.
“Being in love is a good look on you.” Andre stands, patting Oli’s shoulder.
“I want to go to sleep, and I know you won’t sleep on the plane.
” Andre looks back to me. “I’ll warn you now, Atlas is sitting with Ryker and he doesn’t know.
” Shit, he’s going to be pissed. Our friend Ryker is deathly afraid of flying, and unless you enjoy having a six-foot-five defenseman trying to crawl inside your skin, it’s gonna be a long flight.
Felix squirms in my arms but he doesn’t wake. “Guess I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.” Andre gets up, grabbing a blanket and draping it over us. Then he finds another couch pillow and tucks it under my leg. “Thank you.”
“Get some sleep. I have a smartass to marry soon.” Oli grins.