Chapter 7
Theo
I can see Astrid in my peripheral vision picking at her fingernails as we all head into the outbuilding next to the church. She was nervous about the cake, and I couldn’t say I blamed her. Despite what happened in there earlier, I attempted to give her a reassuring smile. She notices me and her face contorts into a deep frown. She was clearly holding a grudge then. You know what, she always did that. It was like she was biologically programmed to hold onto things, even situations that happened years ago. We could actually be having somewhat of a pleasant night and then something would flash on the TV that reminded her of some shit I did in the past and it would be like reliving the argument all over again. She couldn’t ever let go. Granted, I made a huge mix-up with the rings, and it wasn’t her fault. But the fact that she literally went off on one in there, in front of my entire family, was nothing short of embarrassing. I knew her and mum didn’t see eye to eye, but she could at least pretend to tolerate her for a few hours of the day .
Everyone audibly gushes and points as we step through the archway, and I’m not surprised, Astrid had done an amazing job. A much better job than I could ever do anyway. There are swarms of people darting over to the makeshift mini bar in the corner of the room, family friends who I hadn’t seen in ages were all belly laughing at something dad said, my youngest cousins were busting out moves on the dancefloor with Dan and everyone looked happy . Well, everyone except for Astrid, who looked ready to spontaneously combust any minute.
“I think it’s time to cut the cake Graham!” Mum sings, doing her best to hobble over to dad, with one heel in her hand and a glass of champagne in the other. He apologises to the people he was just mingling with as he walks away to guide mum over to the cake that was currently concealed by a cake box.
I immediately notice a flicker of confusion cross over mum’s face as she notices the size and depth of the box, one that definitely couldn’t harbour three tiers. Before she can say anything, dad lifts the lid and passes mum the knife before she lets out a huge gasp, one that catches everyone’s attention.
“What is this!” she whisper-shouts, clearly trying to avoid making a scene.
Astrid cracks her knuckles before gawkily edging closer to mum. “There was an accident with the original cake and unfortunately we couldn’t get another made in time.” She lowers her voice and turns her back to the crowd, registering that everyone could hear.
“I trusted you Astrid! Trusted you with some really important jobs to ensure this was the best day possible and you’ve let me down again. It seems to be a running theme with you at the moment” Mum clips back nastily.
“I tried my best to fix it for you.” Astrid deadpans. I knew her, and this was her attempt at giving mum one final opportunity of calmness and tranquility before hell broke loose.
Mum raises an eyebrow, “Well clearly you haven’t tried hard enough. I swear you just go out of your way to ruin things for me Astrid. It’s like you’ve got some vendetta against me. First the rings, and now the cake too?”
Astrid starts chewing her fingernails.
Oh fuck.
“You know what, Maggie. I can’t help but notice that you’ve not once included Theo in any of this. You asked both of us to help with the rings and the cake, yet you’re doing an amazing job at only blaming me. It was Theo who didn’t tell me about the rings and then left them at home-”
I tried to swallow down the golf ball sized lump in my throat as she continued and turned to me, gesturing like a mad professor.
“And do you know why you didn’t get the original cake you asked for? Because your little pumpkin here went to collect it and once he put it in the car, he decided to emergency stop.”
She notices the looks of horror immersed over the crowd’s faces and wafts a hand about.
“Oh no, not because there was a small child or cat in the road. Not because there was an actual emergency. You know why? Because he wanted to stop and look at a movie billboard . The impact caused your cake to topple over and the tiers to splat in the box. So no Maggie, no it wasn’t my vendetta against you. I’m not some witch whose conspiring against your every move, it’s just your son’s inability to act like a responsible adult for once, but if the shoe fits, I guess.”
I’d never had mum down as one to be left speechless, but she quite literally stopped in her tracks.
Astrid, who clearly hadn’t finished her rant, flips to me and dry laughs, “and yet you still have nothing to say for yourself! What’s the matter Theo, cat got your tongue or something?”
I shift uncomfortably on the spot, “what do you expect me to say?” I’m hyperaware of everyone watching us like an episode of Eastenders, they might as well have their popcorn at the ready, because I had a funny feeling we were far from done here.
She pokes a sharp tongue in her cheek before replying, “Well ‘sorry’ might be a good start don’t you think?”
“I’ve already said sorry to mum!” I defend, pointing a finger in mum’s direction.
Her mouth is agape, “not to her dipshit, to me! You’ve literally just thrown me under the bus. Not stuck up for me, not fought my corner, just left me fighting for my life on the sidelines why she berates me publicly! Maybe if you took a little responsibility for your own action and pulled your finger out, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place!”
Graham places a hand on Astrid’s shoulder, “I think that’s enough now. We understand it was a mistake, I’m not blaming you.”
She flashes him a sympathetic smile, “I know you’re not Graham, don’t worry. At least one Jessop male is capable of being an adult.”
“You always do this!” I bellow, blatantly ignoring dad’s peace offering. “The snarky and backhanded comments, the humiliation, you can’t let anything go Astrid. You hold onto grudges like you hold onto those leather trousers that you haven’t worn since Uni.”
Nearly choking over her own breath, she says, “I can’t believe you’ve brought the trousers up, they’ll fit me again one day!”
“Keep on wishing.” I clap back, immediately regretting it as soon as I’ve said it. Astrid wasn’t overweight by any means, she’d just gotten curvier as time went on, (curves that turned me on to the point I practically needed hosing down anytime I watched her get undressed), but she also wasn’t eighteen anymore, she was a 24-year-old woman. I was just feeling embarrassed and shamefully, I guess I just wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine.
“Well you’re not much better. You’re still holding on to that pathetic excuse of a beard you’ve got going on there,” she circles her finger in the direction of my chin.
“There’s nothing wrong with my beard. Do you want to stop making a mockery of me for one fucking minute.”
Time seems to play in slow motion as I watch the next moment unfold. Like the wires of her brain are no longer connected to her body, Astrid grabs a wedge of cake with her bare hands and lobs it directly at me. What the hell is she thinking?
Acting on instinct, I duck down which causes it to land straight onto…mum. Her ivory wedding dress now covered in the gooey mess of Victoria sponge, with the clumps of jam making it look like she was a part of a crime scene.
“ENOUGH!” Mum screams, causing everyone in the building to jolt in shock.
“I don’t know what on earth has gone on between you both over the past year, but you do not bring your baggage to my wedding, it’s not the right place nor time for a domestic.” She bores her crazy eyes into the two of us as she dabs her dress with a napkin, I swear there’s a high chance that we’ll turn to stone any second. “The crux of it is, whether you like it or not, you two need to sort it out. Couple’s therapy, break up, whatever. But your constant arguing is getting on my last nerve, and we’ve all had enough of listening to the same crap. It’s like you’re both broken records, honestly,” she rubs her head in frustration.
“You either want to be together, or you don’t. And that’s only something that the two of you can decide.” Dad says quietly.
The room then resumes into the pre-fight murmurs and clinks of glasses, and as I look over at Astrid, who is currently red in the face and panting for breath, looking like she doesn’t know whether to bring out the angry mobs or cry her eyes out, I’m hit with a sudden realisation that something needed to change. We can’t keep going on like this, we either fight for the relationship we once had, or we don’t. I guess dad was right, the wise old bugger. That was something that only we could decide, I just hoped we were for once, on the same page.