Chapter 29
Astrid
I woke up this morning with an intense need to clear my head, figuratively and literally.
Despite only having a few rum and coke’s last night, my current hangover obviously didn’t get the memo. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t one of those horrendous I-feel-like-I’m-on-the-verge-of-death beauties, the ones where you wake up and it feels like you’re sailing on the stormiest of seas. Thank God. But there was still a little something there, a dull ache throbbing at the front of my noggin. I took a generous swig of water from my bedside table as I stared down at Theo. It would never stop being weird, looking at myself . Especially watching myself sleep. It felt like some murderers POV. I couldn’t help but wonder how he felt about last night. Obviously, I knew that he wanted to talk about us, so he must have been having some sort of feelings, but whether those feelings were unanimous with mine were an entirely different story. Hell, I didn’t even know what my feelings were at this point. Everything was so fucking jumbled and confusing right now. My brain felt like an endless string of tabs, a movie you watched at three times speed, but out of sequence, one of those scare mazes where you think you’re about to come out the other end, but then some axe-baring psycho turns the corner.
I know that Darla concocted some lame reason as to why she did this to the both of us, so we could pass some weird love ‘test’ and dance off hand-in-hand into the sunset. I thought it was a cop-out in honesty. She told Theo that she wanted us to ‘re-learn’ one another, and that by seeing the world through one another’s eyes, we were going to somehow break the spell miraculously, and gain some magical insight that we couldn’t have possibly gained elsewhere. I wish she’d told us that prior to our first couple’s counselling session then, might have saved us ￡80. I didn’t know what to think, feel, or believe. Was therapy working? I mean, we hadn’t bitten each other’s heads off since the last session, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. If anything, being thrown into each other’s bodies had just seemed to complicate things even further.
My bubble of thought is instantly popped by the jarring sound of Theo stretching, even in my body, he still found a way to make the most unnecessarily loud noises as he splayed his arms out wide in the air and opened his mouth widely. “Morning.” He yawns, his eyes still half-shut. “What time is it? ”
I look at my phone, “nearly 9:00.”
His forehead wrinkles with a sleepy smile, “pulled a sicky again have we?”
My face heats with embarrassment. I knew I should have gone back into his work today. After all, we were nearly busted yesterday, we were just relieved that it was Brandon that we happened to stumble upon. Next time, we might not be so lucky. However, after last night, I knew I couldn’t and to be honest, I’m glad I didn’t. I don’t think mini-hangovers and computers match well funnily enough. Either way, I needed to do something . I needed to get out, I needed some air. Yep, that’s what I was going to do. Pulling off my side of the duvet, I stand up and go and grab some shorts and a T-shirt from Theo’s drawer.
“Where are you off to?” he asks, sitting back on his arms.
“Going to go for a run I think.” I reply, popping the shirt over my head.
His face contorts into a confused grin, “Wait, you’re going for a run?”
I sigh, “Well you don’t need to act so surprised!”
“Sorry, sorry” he puts a hand up, “I’m just shocked. You hate running.”
In fairness, he was right. I loathed running, any cardio in fact. Athletics was probably my least favourite thing we had to do in PE at school. I had the stamina of a literal sloth. Nowadays, the only times you’d catch me running was either after a child trying to escape the playground or if I’d missed the bus, so I could understand his surprise. I guess I just needed some time to think today, and I knew I couldn’t do that if I was around him. I’d contemplated heading over to the bathroom for some intensive shower thoughts, but then I remembered that I’d literally have to pay the price for that, (water bills in the UK are no joke). There was only one other option it seemed; I was going to need to go…outside. Cue the dramatic music.
“I just need it.” I mumble, taking another swig of my drink.
“Are you saying that I need to lose weight Cartwright?” he smirks.
I don’t ignore the flicker in my chest as he says that. I felt like 17 year old Astrid again, swooning into a wet puddle on the floor whenever he called me by my surname. He hadn’t referred to me by that in ages. I can’t actually remember the last time.
Puffing out a laugh, I reply, “ Weellll …you may have eaten a bit too much popcorn last night.”
His mouth is agape in faux horror. “I shan’t make any again then.”
“Oh you shan’t ?” I mock, “I’m just messing anyway. Just need to clear my head for a bit that’s all.”
I notice his eyes grow worried now, “Is everything okay?”
Yes, No, not really? I didn’t know how to respond to that question.
“Peachy.” I say, pinching my ass, and by default, making him watch me pinch his own ass.
He smiles along, but I can tell that he’s still curious.
Either way, I peeked through the window and although the sun was bright, I spotted the grey clouds starting to form in the distance. I needed to get a move on. I didn’t fancy getting soaked in torrential rain and my thoughts becoming even more clouded than they already were.
◆◆◆
It’s crazy how being in someone else’s body could increase your stamina. I’d already run five miles around the park and I wasn’t even breaking a sweat. It made a welcome change to fighting for my life after exercise. The number of times my parents used to think I was asthmatic growing up, making me multiple doctors’ appointments, only for them to tell me in no uncertain terms that I was just out of shape. Pardon the pun, but this was a walk in the park for Theo’s body. Not going to lie, I actually enjoyed it too, who knew? It wasn’t just making me feel more physically alive, but mentally too.
My inner enlightenment is quickly interrupted by the blaring sound of my ringtone.
Pulling it out of my pocket, I see the words Mum flash on the screen.
Mum was calling me? We hadn’t spoken in ages!
The last time we texted, she told me that her and dad were going on a month break to Sydney. I joked, asking her why she’d want to go on holiday somewhere that’s exactly the same as New Zealand. She was less than impressed. That just made me tease her even more though, I didn’t get why she grew so offended by the whole New Zealand and Australians sound the same thing, she was literally born and bred in Surrey.
Without any hesitation, I immediately pick up the call, “Hi mum!”
“Theo is that you?” her voice asks confusingly down the line.
Oh fuck. Think of something Astrid.
“Uhm, sorry Jane.” I stutter over my own words, “I picked up Astrid’s phone. She’s in the shower at the moment.” Brill. Sorted.
“Oh okay!” she sings, “Then why did you just call me mum? ”
I understood her confusion. In the whole period of time that we’d been together, Theo had never once called her mum. Plus, my mum wasn’t one of those weird in-laws-to-be who demanded that he called her his second mum.
Grimacing, I reply, “Uh, yeah sorry. Guess I must have just read it without thinking ha!”
She lets out a gruff laugh, “Well I think that’s very sweet of you either way!”
“How’s Sydney?,” I interrupt, trying to curb any awkwardness there.
“Oh it’s wonderful Theo, thank you for asking! We’ve been to the Sydney opera house today. Absolutely phenomenal- Oh Charlie! – she shouts to my dad in the background, come and say hi to Theo!”
There is a muffle on the line before a fake-Australian accent immerses, “G’day Theo! How you doing bud?” Oh dad.
“Good thanks da-Charlie. How about you?”
“All good buddy!” Thank God, he was back to his usual English accent now. “Astrid not about?”
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I reply, “no, still in the shower. You know what she’s like!” I laugh, trying to keep up the fa?ade.
Dad’s belly laugh booms down the phone, “Water bills be damned eh?! ”
“You bet.” I smile, just happy to hear his voice for the first time in ages.
The line goes fuzzy again before mum’s voice reappears, “Well, it’s been great to chat with you Theo, but when Astrid is free at some point, could you please get her to give us a call back? It would be lovely to chat with her.”
“I will.” I whisper, “See you both.”
My heart swells in my chest. This was one of the hardest parts about our current situation. Not the jobs, not the friends, not even the switched genitalia. It was not being able to speak to our family as us. I hated pretending to be someone that I wasn’t. To be honest, mum and dad didn’t know the grave details about mine and Theo’s predicament over the past few years. I didn’t want them to have to worry and spend thousands on plane tickets just to come and check up on me. Perhaps selfishly, I also didn’t want them to find out and then demand me to move with them to New Zealand. As gorgeous of a place it was, and as lucky as I was to get to visit them and have a very cheap holiday, it wasn’t my life. My life was here…with Theo.
I felt like the gates of knowledge were opening with every inhale of the crisp morning air. I was ready to have the talk. God only knew what the outcome would be. But I felt like no matter the answer, I was going to be prepped and ready for it. Whether we needed to continue with couple’s therapy or not, whether we opted to work on things on our own, whether we needed to set up some sort of Rota or schedule for housework, or whether we…I gulped at the alternative…whether we needed to end things altogether. I was ready for it. I didn’t know which choice would ultimately break Darla’s spell, I just sure hoped we’d come to an agreement on the right one.