thirty-one
P lanning was easier said than done. Mostly because planning was more about when Nate would pluck up the courage to head over to Madison’s work and confront the damage he’d inadvertently done.
He knew that the more he waited, the longer she had to put everything behind her and chalk the weeks they’d spent getting to know each other up to some kind of fever dream.
That was the outcome he dreaded the most.
But Nate had always been a fan of ripping the band-aid off, and that’s what he was doing on Friday morning while he stood outside the address of the publishing house.
It had been relatively easy to find it and now the big, glass doors beckoned him with a pressing urge.
He’d always prided himself in his ability to remain calm and collected, sometimes even firm and unyielding, under most circumstances.
He was none of those things now. The only thing he could do now was suck in a deep breath to steady his erratic heartbeat before he took the few steps that separated him from the entrance to the office.
Nate stepped inside and was immediately met with the expected bustle of a normal workday.
As far as he could see, the office stretched into an open-plan space, each workstation separated in a way that reminded him of cubicles—only less restrictive. It felt designed for both communication and privacy, striking a careful balance.
All manner of earth tones covered the floors and furniture, creating a neutral backdrop. But color wasn’t lacking.
It came from the books.
Dozens upon dozens of them. Built-in bookcases lined entire walls, their vibrant spines a striking contrast to the neutral space. Books cluttered desks, filled chairs, and piled high in every available spot.
Enough to last till the end of time.
Despite his earlier prickle of worry, Nate felt himself smile at the thought of Madison working here, surrounded by everything she’d loved since she’d been at school. He was sure that the scent of paper mixed with a subtle smell of vanilla in the air would be cloying on her all day long.
“Sir? Can I help you with something?”
Caught up in looking around, Nate had apparently completely overlooked the reception desk that was smack-dab in front of him, as well as the smiling woman who seemed to have just spoken to him.
“Yes, good morning,” he said, aiming a polite smile of his own at the woman. “I’m looking for Madison Pierce.”
The woman who appeared to be in her mid-40s showed a brief spark of surprise before it too, faded behind her professional smile. She turned to her computer screen, typing something on her keyboard, before she turned once more towards him.
“I don’t see any appointments scheduled. Is she expecting you?”
Nate was momentarily thrown by the simple question.
No, in fact she wasn’t expecting him. He was probably the last person she would expect to see.
He could tell a small white lie to make it easier to see her, but the truth was that he didn’t want to ambush her without any warning. Coming here was enough.
Nate cleared his throat. “No, she isn’t. Maybe if you could tell her that Nate is here she could come out for a couple of minutes?” He almost groaned at his painfully awkward words. Apparently, going back to being seventeen for a while had rubbed off on him.
The receptionist scrutinized him for a few seconds before she said, “One moment, please.” She picked up the receiver of her desk phone, speaking a few words into it that he could not make out.
Nate’s gaze wandered around the busy space again as he put his hands in his pockets in an attempt to stop himself from fidgeting.
Yep. Definitely high-school boy flashback.
The distinct sound of heels on a hard floor had Nate spinning around to face the source of it. A blonde woman around his age came to a stop a few feet away from him, offering him a small smile.
“Hello, sir. What can I help you with?”
Nate was silent for a moment, caught under the sudden feeling of crushing disappointment.
Was this who the Madison Pierce of the profile actually was? Had he gotten it so terribly wrong?
He felt himself choking but he pushed through it to ask the question he desperately needed to.
“I’m sorry, are you Madison Pierce?”
The woman’s expression changed into one of barely concealed suspicion.
“No, my name is Stacie. Madison is out of office today. Is there something I can help you with?”
Nate’s relief was immediate, his lungs expanding with much needed breath.
“Oh. Actually, I was just looking for her. We’re old... um... friends and I wanted to talk to her.” Friends didn’t begin to cover what Madison was to him but he’d settle for that for now. It wasn’t as if it was a lie. She was his friend. Or at least she had been.
At his words, Stacie’s eyes narrowed further.
“Can you tell me your name to see if I can get a message to her?”
“Yes, my name is Nate Keaton.”
If Nate had blinked, he would have missed the moment of recognition that flashed in Stacie’s briefly widening eyes. She schooled her features immediately.
“Nate, you said?” she asked, her words definitely more clipped now than they’d been seconds before.
He nodded.
Stacie crossed her arms in front of her chest and ran her gaze over him in a way that clearly said she found him lacking.
Wow, she really knew how to make someone feel small.
She then looked him straight in the eyes.
“Are you the same Nate who helped my friend in the accident she almost had?”
He nodded seriously. Apparently, it was all he could do right now.
“Are you also the same Nate who didn’t even remember my friend’s name despite having known her pretty well in the past?”
Nate clenched his jaw hearing those words thrown back to him.
He still nodded.
Stacie pierced him with her unflinching gaze before she gave him a nod of her own.
“And what exactly are you doing here now, Nate? Because if it’s thanks you’re looking for, then thank you for helping out Maddy, but I think you should leave now.” She turned to leave herself, which made Nate snap into action.
“Wait!” he called out loud, making Stacie’s head, and plenty of others’ in the vicinity, snap back towards him.
“Please, I need to see her. I know I probably hurt her even when I didn’t know I was doing it.
” He paused, not knowing how much Stacie knew about his and Maddy’s unusual meeting, but he forged on.
“Everything began to come back to me only recently and if I could have had anything to do with it, I would never have forgotten a single thing about her or the time we spent together. So please, at least give me a chance to apologize to her. And if she doesn’t want to see me again, then I’ll understand and I won’t bother her again. ”
Nate felt the plea that had bled into his words and knew that if that didn’t move Stacie, nothing probably would. She seemed fiercely protective of Madison which made her a good friend. A friend he had to go through if he wanted to see his Mads.
Miraculously, Stacie’s eyes did seem to thaw just a little, which made hope spark in Nate’s chest.
“Okay,” she finally said, albeit begrudgingly. “But as I told you, she’s not here today. She took the day off.”
The way she said it made Nate ask something he had no business asking.
“Why? Is something wrong?”
Stacie stared at him for a bit before sighing.
“She told me she’s sick. Nothing serious,” she rushed to add, probably seeing Nate’s panicked look, “it’s probably just a cold, it’s just hit her a bit harder than usual.”
“Give me her address.”
The request was easy to make. Madison was sick, so he would go to her. Simple as that.
Stacie blinked at him. “Excuse me?”
“Give me her address. I’ll make sure she’s okay.”
Nate had clearly taken her by surprise because she was still blinking at him owlishly.
“Stacie, if she’s sick at home all alone someone needs to take care of her.
Please, tell me where she lives so I can make sure she’s okay.
” He said all that calmly but with a steeliness that brooked no arguments.
He needed her to understand how serious he was.
“And what I said before still stands, if she doesn’t want me there, I will never bother her again. ”
He could see Stacie was caving but not before she tilted her chin up. “And how do I know you’re not someone who’s going to hurt her?”
Nate knew she meant physically because he knew he’d unknowingly already hurt her in other ways.
He held her gaze. “I would rather chop off my own hands than do anything to hurt her.”
Stacie’s rigid posture slowly relaxed and with a loud exhale, she grabbed a post-it and a pen from the reception desk, and scribbled something on it.
“She has to buzz you in anyway, so it’ll be her choice,” she said, handing him the note.
Nate took it before she had a change of heart.
“Thank you,” he said, hoping he sounded as grateful as he felt. “You won’t regret it.”
“I sincerely hope not. For your sake.”