thirty-two
M addy wondered if this was what feeling like death warmed over was like.
If it was, she had no trouble believing it.
She was currently sprawled on her couch, with a small towel that she’d soaked in cold water covering her forehead and eyes in an attempt to soothe the low-grade fever she was running.
She’d already taken some ibuprofen but it hadn’t taken effect yet.
Hopefully it would soon. Right then, she was happy to let the couch swallow her as she buried herself under the thick, fleece blanket she had thrown over herself.
She’d been like that all day, but it had started the night before. Her throat was scratchy, her body tired and sore, and she knew she was in for a rough few days.
She’d barely had enough strength to hydrate and order food for later—there was no way she’d be standing long enough to cook for herself. She just wanted to lie there, in peace, and stew in her fever.
Which was what she would have continued to do if the buzzer from the apartment building entrance hadn’t jolted her out of her state of catatonia.
Throwing the blanket off her, she reached for her glasses on the nearby table and headed over to the intercom to buzz the delivery person in. When the doorbell rang, she had to pretty much shuffle to the door in her socks for all the energy she had.
The moment Maddy cracked open her door was when she realized that maybe she was sicker than she thought she’d been.
Maybe she’d fallen asleep and the fever was subjecting her to some very vivid dreams.
Maybe the hallucinations had finally claimed her.
Those were the only plausible options to coming face to face with Nate Keaton right outside her apartment door.
And she would have been a staunch supporter of option number two if the reality of the situation wasn’t seeping through the cracks of her crazy theory.
Because there was no way that her muddled mind would be able to conjure up the painful details of that face. Or his smell that reminded her of pine trees. Or those piercing, dark eyes that were now trained on her with an intensity that made her short of breath.
“Are you delivering my food?”
Nate blinked before his eyes strayed to the plastic bag he was holding, which subsequently drew her own eyes there.
He was in fact carrying something.
“I guess?”
God, that smooth voice.
“I don’t think that’s the food I ordered,” she said, her brain clearly having taken a hike. Maybe shock did that to people.
With great effort, she peeled her eyes off the bag and turned to glance back at the beautiful man that was gracing her doorstep.
“Am I hallucinating?” What the hell, she would ask him. Maybe he’d know.
Nate’s intense expression was now accompanied by a flash of a lethal half-smile that tilted his lips.
“Fuck, I missed you, Mads.” His voice was low, and hoarse, and throaty, as if he was the one with the scratchy throat.
Wait.
What had he called her?
Maddy’s heart sped up dangerously, which did nothing to help the dizziness she’d already been feeling.
She swallowed since it was the only thing she could do right then.
“Nate? Is it you?”
She hated how her voice trembled, how it was full of hope for something she’d given up hoping for. At least she could blame it on her weakened state.
Nate nodded, never taking his eyes off hers.
“It’s me.”
It was at that moment that the spell of dizziness got the better of her. She swayed on her feet and she knew she would have collapsed if a broad chest and a pair of strong arms hadn’t gently broken her fall.
“Madison!” Nate’s voice rang sharp as he cocooned her in his arms for a few moments while she gathered her bearings.
She could feel how shallow his breathing had gone and how fast his heart drummed against her and that was what truly convinced her that this wasn’t a dream or a figment of her imagination.
It was as real as it got.
Maddy felt herself being slowly moved back inside the apartment while her balance remained seriously compromised.
God, she felt so weak. And yet, all she could focus on was, “How can you be here?”
She didn’t think she’d spoken those words out loud but she felt Nate’s arms tightening around her in answer, and his shuddering exhale brush against her hair.
“I’m so sorry, Mads.” His words vibrated against her ear where her head was still leaning into his chest. She’d never realized how words could both soothe something inside her and hurt so much.
The last thing she wanted was to lift her head because what if he disappeared the moment she did?
What if she snapped out of whatever this was and discovered that he was still gone?
“So, this is not a hallucination?” she mumbled against him.
Jesus, she sounded like a broken record.
A gentle hand turned her head softly so that their eyes could meet and Nate’s chocolate eyes she’d so missed were there, full of seriousness, brimming with tension.
He shook his head.
Maddy nodded slowly as she let the situation sink in. “Okay. Then I probably need to sit down.” Nate seemed reluctant to release her but he did so anyway.
“Where is your bag?” she asked, frowning at Nate’s empty hands.
“My what?”
Well at least she wasn’t the only one who felt a bit thunderstruck and blindsided. That was consoling.
“You had a bag with you?”
Nate blinked owlishly before looking down at his empty hands as well.
“Yes, I brought you soup.”
Maddy’s eyebrows shot upwards. “You brought me soup?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re sick.”
“How did you know I was sick? A few weeks ago, you didn’t even know my name.”
Nate winced and Maddy felt bad for saying it, though she didn’t mean it as a barb. She was genuinely curious. And confused. Very confused.
Nate’s sigh could have powered a windmill.
“How about we sit down? I’ll explain everything. And you look like you’re already swaying on your feet.”
She gasped.
“I’m not!” She totally was. She just didn’t want to appear as weak as she felt, not right now, not after all the time they hadn’t seen each other.
Which reminded her that she must look absolutely terrible.
She didn’t have to check to see that she had on the baggiest pajamas she owned or that her hair was probably a whole different creature.
But she was sick, for crying out loud. She was supposed to look awful.
She groaned.
“What is it?” Nate looked at her, alarmed.
“Nothing. You’re right, let’s sit down.” Great, was she pouting now? Five minutes in his presence and she’d lost all of her hard-earned reason.
And his cheek was twitching. The bastard.
God, she’d missed him. Even now, the light from her window was hitting him just right to make him look like a fucking angel.
Just when she could have pretended that she’d almost forgotten what he’d looked like.
How warm his expression was when he looked at her. How everything felt somehow lighter.
She showed Nate to the living room where she gestured towards the couch. He took the offered seat but not before he threw a puzzled glance around him.
“Uh, Mads? Are you moving?”
And that’s when Maddy realized the absolute chaos her apartment was in. She followed his gaze as if she needed a reminder of how completely in shambles everything was around her.
There were books literally everywhere, littering the floor, covering every flat surface in small towers that stood precariously in defiance of gravity. She wouldn’t be surprised if there were some in the fridge or the bathroom counter. And it wasn’t just the books.
There were unopened boxes of things she had ordered but hadn’t had time to open due to work and before she got sick. There were paint buckets, along with all manner of tools right in the middle of her living room, and more than half of her furniture was definitely not where it was supposed to be.
“I’m redecorating.” Or at least she had been, before that infernal cold had knocked her out.
Nate’s small smile threatened to knock her out for a completely different reason.
“You want some help?”
Maybe Maddy had never woken up that morning. Maybe she’d been flung into a parallel dimension where things like that happened, like Nate remembering everything and offering to help her redecorate. It could happen.
“Where did you go, Mads?” Nate’s soft voice brought her back to the present, to the reality that was apparently happening.
She swallowed the sudden lump of emotion and nodded her head.
“I would really like some help.”
The flash of Nate’s grin was too much for her exhausted state.
“Then you have it. Now sit your ass down. I’ll go check where the hell I dropped that soup and I’ll be back in a minute.”
Maddy plopped down on the padded cushion of the couch and watched Nate wander back to the hallway, and a few seconds later move to the kitchen. Several clanking noises followed, punctuating whatever he was doing in there, before he returned with a bowl and a spoon.
“Eat this and then we’ll talk.”
Maddy took the bowl from him almost robotically, not sure how her day had turned out like this. She peered inside and the smell of warm chicken soup filled her nostrils, making the earlier lump in her throat swell to twice its size.
She scooped up a spoonful of soup, the thick liquid a balm to her sore throat.
One spoonful turned into two, which turned to several more, until her spoon scraped the empty bottom of the bowl.
The buzzer sounded for the second time that day slightly startling her before she remembered the food she had ordered herself.
“It’s the food I’d ordered.”
“Stay. I’ll get it.” And he did just that while she sat there watching the bottom of the bowl as if it would reveal the mysteries of the universe.
She didn’t even realize when Nate returned.
All she did was look up at him and say, “Thank you, Nate.” She didn’t know what she was thanking him for. Answering the door. Bringing her soup. Being there right now. She didn’t know.
He smiled. “Anytime, Mads.”
***