thirty-two #2
After the initial shock had somewhat subsided and Maddy had regained some of the strength the cold had sucked away from her thanks to Nate’s soup, she was more than ready to find out how any of this was possible.
They were sitting on opposite ends of the couch and Nate was giving her a weary look, like he was almost afraid that if he did or said something wrong she’d come to her senses and throw him out.
She could still hear his earlier apology in her ears. But the truth was that he had nothing to apologize for. What he did or didn’t remember wasn’t something he could control. It could as easily have happened to her, or even to both of them.
She shuddered at the thought.
Nate must have caught the subtle movement because suddenly there was his outstretched hand clutching the blanket that had been thrown over the back of the couch.
Her chest squeezed so hard that breathing became almost difficult. It hurt how much he hadn’t changed.
“How?” the word slid unbidden from her lips.
Nate tilted his head in question.
“How are you here?”
If she hadn’t been paying such close attention to his expressions she might have missed it, but there was no mistaking the numerous emotions that flashed in his eyes. Emotions that she recognized.
“I’ll give you the short version,” he said as he huffed an awkward laugh and his hand rose to rub his nape.
“No.” Her voice was sharper than she thought it’d be. So much so that it startled even Nate. “Give me everything.”
His eyes burned.
“Everything started coming back to me in bits and pieces a few days ago. First, it was your name, and then everything else followed. I would get the strange feeling that I’d done something again, or that I’d been somewhere similar before, or that I’d already had a specific conversation.
But it was like reaching for air, I could grasp at nothing. ”
As he talked his agitation seemed to grow imperceptibly. Maddy didn’t know if he even realized it. He now speared her with eyes full of tension.
“I was a ghost, Mads. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what.
It ate at me every day. Then, one day, it all happened so easily.
Your CD fell into my hands and it was as if you’d dropped it there yourself like that day at the music store and suddenly, I could see everything so clearly.
” He paused, swallowing thickly, averting his eyes and dropping his gaze to the floor.
“I’m so sorry, Mads. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for you, waking up on that street with a stranger looking back at you instead of me.
I can’t even imagine what I would have done had it been me. I’m so sorry–”
Maddy was already shoving the blanket away before he’d finished his sentence. She would not let him say more things like that. She scrambled to his side and he was already there to catch her when she threw her arms around him.
She hugged him with all the strength she could muster, holding him so tight he probably had seconds of air left.
He didn’t seem to care. His strong arms wrapped around her, keeping her equally close and tight.
She felt his whole body relax against her as he loosened an exhale that spoke of such pure relief it almost brought tears to her eyes.
Her nose was buried in the spot where his shoulder met his neck and she’d never felt calmer as when she was surrounded by his scent.
Which was exactly why Maddy had to ruin it.
She sprung out of his arms, going as far as to jump on her feet in front of the couch.
“Oh my God, I’m sick! I’m going to get you sick!”
The shock on Nate’s face melted into shaking bouts of laughter while he attempted to grab her hand while still sitting.
“That’s not funny! Why are you still laughing?” she asked as she evaded his hand.
His laughter died down and, in its place, remained an expression she was familiar with, a look that was as serious as it was playful.
Nate made a final grab for her hand and he succeeded in catching her, starstruck as she’d been rendered momentarily by his look. He pulled her back where she’d been, in his arms, whispering, “Then you get me sick. But you’re not moving from here.”
Okay, she could get on board with that.
She shuffled a bit so that she was between the back of the couch and Nate. Now she could easily tilt her head and be able to look at his face. A face that had gone as soft as she remembered.
Nate in her apartment. Who would have thought.
Wait a minute.
“How exactly are you here here though?” she asked, gesturing with a hand around her apartment.
Was that a blush staining Nate’s cheeks or had her fever finally made a comeback making her see things that weren’t there?
Nope, that was definitely a blush.
“Well, there might have been some Internet searching involved.”
Maddy narrowed her eyes in suspicion. She didn’t have any personal information lying around for anyone to find. Unless.
“Nate Keaton, did you social media-stalk me?”
Nate suddenly found my apartment very interesting to look at. “I think stalking is a strong word,” he said, glancing sideways at her. “I asked Cooper to help me look for your profile in the off-chance I could find you.”
He said it as if he was admitting to a shameful secret.
“And did you? Find me?” She couldn’t resist teasing him.
He seemed to immediately catch on her teasing and his side-smile was full of mirth and retribution.
“I did. In fact, Stacie was very helpful.”
Stacie?
Her shock must have been evident because now it was his turn to laugh.
“Where do you think I got your address from? A divine sign?”
“Well, considering our past I wouldn’t rule anything out.”
His chuckle shook both of them.
“I found where you worked and headed over there. Stacie gave me your address.”
“Just like that?” she gaped. Some warning would have been nice.
“Fuck no, she was downright terrifying.”
Now, that she could believe.
“But you still got it.”
He looked at her with smiling eyes.
“I still got it.”
***
They talked for quite some time, keeping their conversation to light topics but eventually Maddy’s exhaustion must have gotten the better of her because she fell asleep, right there, surrounded by a warmth that had nothing to do with her fleece blanket and everything to do with the man cradling her.
She didn’t even realize the moment sleep had taken her. She only knew of the moment her eyelids slowly cracked open in the soft afternoon light.
She took stock of herself, realizing everything was blurry. Her glasses lied on the small, coffee table next to the couch but she didn’t remember removing them.
Because she hadn’t been the one to remove them.
She was covered with the soft blanket and a throw pillow was cushioning her head.
Nate was nowhere in sight but she could still smell him around her. If it hadn’t been for that fresh, woodsy scent, she might have finally convinced herself that she had made everything up.
Stretching her limps, she sat up.
Reaching for her glasses, she noticed that they had been placed on top of a piece of paper. With Nate’s phone number written on it.
She smiled so hard her cheeks started hurting. How was it possible to want to squeal with joy and be so scared of jumping into this again at the same time?
It didn’t matter though. Whatever fear she harbored was not enough to keep her from following her gut, like she’d done from the very beginning.
So, she added the number in her contacts.
And then promptly sent a message to the traitor.
Maddy : Is there something you wanna tell me?
An answer pinged almost immediately.
Stacie : FINALLY
Stacie : I’VE BEEN DYING HERE
Stacie : Is everything okay?
Maddy : Yes, everything’s fine.
Stacie : Then you’re welcome.
Maddy chuckled at her friend, who could be so scary even while having such a soft underbelly. Like a damn porcupine.
She almost put her phone down but the urge was too strong.
Opening a new conversation, she typed:
Maddy : So, how handy are you with tools?