Chapter 22
The cord was cut, then Declan handed Markie over to Zena for a wash while he busied himself with delivering the placenta.
When the enormous lump of raw liver slid out from between her legs, Bella saw she was sitting on a damp and bloody plastic sheet. She was naked and her legs were smeared with blood and traces of poo. Her fingernails were dark with dried blood, her hair was soaked, blood was pooling between her legs and she was beginning to shiver.
Don was over by the baby taking pictures.
‘I’m really sorry, Bella, but we’re going to have to do stitches now,’ said Declan.
‘You’ve got to be kidding,’ she managed.
‘I’ll hand you over to Zena, a wonder with a needle. We’ll give you a jab first, then you better have the gas and air to hand.’
Bella sucked furiously at the gas cylinder as Zena cleaned then began to stitch at the long tear on her perineum.
Her face contorted with pain. She could not believe how much she’d had to endure in one night. A deep stoic resignation began to settle over her. If someone had come in and said they were here to pull out her back teeth, she would have accepted it.
‘You know why it’s called labour now,’ said Zena as she worked away on an interminable number of stitches. ‘It’s women’s work, no man would be able to take this.’
Bella smiled weakly between gulps from the gas cylinder. She wasn’t sure if the gas helped at all but at least it gave her something to do other than scream.
Finally, it was over. Markie was dried and dressed and after Bella had held him to her for as long as she wanted, Zena helped her to hobble to the shower for a wash down.
As the warm water ran over her, Bella looked down at her body. Somehow, on the edge of the deepest exhaustion, she found the energy to be pleased that her stomach was so amazingly flat. OK it looked like a strange, deflated soufflé, but it was flattish. She could see over it, she could bend. Though by comparison, her breasts were absolutely enormous.
Between her legs everything felt oddly numb and tightly strung together. How the hell was she going to pee? Let alone… she didn’t want to think about that. There were piles the size of buses rubbing between her buttocks.
Carefully, she dried off, slipped on the clean nightshirt and giant pants complete with giant pad and headed back to the delivery room.
Already, clean sheets and pillowcases were on the bed and the plastic cot had been pulled up to it.
Zena was tying up plastic rubbish bags and Declan was scribbling in Bella’s maternity notebook, while Don sat on the bed holding the crying baby and Suzy, looking very tired, sat on the chair beside them.
Bella got into bed and Don tenderly handed the baby over.
‘Shhh, shhh, shhh,’ she found herself soothing him instinctively.
‘OK,’ said Declan. ‘I think your good lady, Suzy, here is going to help you get him latched on.’
She sat back against the mountain of pillows and opened her nightshirt. Markie immediately turned to her breast. Very matter-of-factly, Suzy pinched up her nipple and pushed it into the baby’s open mouth. He sucked vigorously.
‘Well, he’s off,’ Suzy told her with a smile. ‘No problem at all.’
Then Declan chipped in with, ‘Your only trouble might be making enough milk for that baby. Do you know how much he weighed? Ten pounds and three ounces. For your build, that is enormous. No wonder we had a job getting him out.’
Bella watched her son’s little mouth chomp up and down on a breast bigger than his head.
‘What the hell happened to my epidural, Declan?’ Bella complained, but with a smile, because here they were and everything had turned out OK.
‘I am so sorry,’ he began. ‘Our anaesthetist was too slow and you were too fast. I suspected that was going to happen, but I wasn’t going to tell you. You might have killed me.’
‘That was absolute hell,’ Bella said, for everyone’s benefit. ‘I am never, ever doing that again,’ she added, at last feeling just a bit like herself again.
Declan laughed and had to add, ‘The second one is always easier.’
‘Yeah right,’ she scoffed. ‘You just say that to keep yourself in a job.’
She looked at Don fondly. She’d never loved him more or seen him look so bad. His face was grey with exhaustion, his hair was in disarray and he had huge damp patches under the arms of his shirt.
‘I’m sorry, my love,’ she told him with a sweet smile. ‘We can never, ever have sex again, even in six months’ time, when the wounds have finally healed.’
Before Don could reply, Declan had to chip in with, ‘Nonsense! There’s a mandatory six-week ceasefire, but then you’ll be raring to go, Bella. Just one word… lubricate,’ he added.
‘Enough!’ said Bella in horror. ‘No sex again. That’s final.’
As she leaned over and kissed Don, the baby unlatched and scrabbled frantically to get back to the nipple.
‘Oh no,’ said Bella, breaking off her kiss. She turned Markie round and let him have a go at the other side.
Don kept his arm tight around her. He looked awash with relief and gratitude, and as if he would never want to let go of the two of them ever again.
‘Shall I go and get us some teas?’ Suzy offered.
‘Sounds amazing,’ from Bella.
‘Not for me or Zena, thanks, we’re scooting off to the lady three doors down,’ from Declan.
And Don confessed, ‘Along with apple juice, there’s a beer in the cool box and I’m going to treat myself to that.’
‘Biscuits, toast? Anything to eat?’ Suzy added. But no one was hungry.
Before she left the room, Suzy glimpsed down at the little face buried deep in Bella’s breasts.
‘Look at that,’ she said with a smile. ‘Hopefully he’ll sleep for a long time tonight and give you some rest.’
‘What time is it?’ Bella wondered.
‘11.42p.m.,’ Don replied. ‘Markie was born at 10.31p.m. exactly.’
Soon, Declan and Zena had gone. Declan leaving a pack of extra-strong painkillers after insisting she take two. And then Suzy was gone too, saying she’d be back at the house tomorrow, whenever suited.
So, the three of them were left alone in the room together. The three of us, Bella kept trying the words out in her mind. They sounded strange.
‘You were amazing. How are you doing?’ Don asked her.
To be honest, her whole genital area was starting to throb and painful contractions still racked her stomach. She also longed for sleep, but none of that detracted from the sheer and indescribable joy of holding this beautiful baby boy.
The baby had fallen asleep in her arms. The baby – he still seemed too new to have a name.
Very gently, she put him into the bedside cot.
‘You should go home and sleep,’ she told her husband.
‘I am so, so proud of you,’ he said, sounding a little choked. ‘And I can stay here for as long as you want.’
He wrapped his arms around her even more tightly.
‘We’re going to be fine. Go home and sleep,’ she insisted. ‘They’ll let me out tomorrow, most likely. So, I’ll call and you can come and get me… us,’ she corrected herself.
In a little while, Don was gone too, turning off the stark overhead lights as he left. Bella rolled over so she could lie looking at her tiny son in his little crib beside her. Her son – the word resonated in her mind.
In the gloom she could see that he wasn’t sleeping any more, his eyes were open and fixed on hers. She felt quite tearful and overwhelmed with love. Nothing had ever felt so perfect and so complete before.
She tried to sleep but felt too overcome. She kept opening her eyes just to check on the tiny person, lying brand-new beside her.
And it seemed to Bella that every time she opened her eyes, those small dark ones were looking back at her, gazing in wonder at her and this whole new world.