23. Marcie
23
MARCIE
L ush and luxurious were the only way to describe the plane. Maybe lavish.
Why are all the adjectives L words?
Shaking my head at the ridiculous turn my thoughts had taken, I sighed. Tired and stressed were ingredients in the recipe whirling through my mind. Add in a heaping helping of confusion, and I yearned for Squirt. Looking over at the two bodyguards camped out in the large armchair-like seats on the other side of the plane, I chewed my lip.
Do I dare cuddle him in front of them?
Another restless hour passed, and I gave in. I grabbed the duffel bag, tossing things this way and that as I dug through to the bottom. Panic flooded my system. I turned to find Priest and Cameron trying not to stare at me.
Taking a deep breath, I did another quick search before turning to them and asking, “Did either of you see a stuffed sea turtle?”
Priest and Cameron shook their heads.
Pulling everything in the bag out, barely containing the urge to flip the bag over and dump everything on the floor, I folded it all neatly to disguise my desperate search. Tears pooled in my eyes as I came to the understanding that Squirt was not in the bag, which meant he was not on the plane.
“Marcie, the sofa pulls down into a bed. Do you want me to fix it for you?”
I looked at Cameron. Was he serious? He looked serious. Did he honestly think I could sleep? My dad was in the hospital, and Squirt was nowhere to be found.
“No.”
No one uttered a word at my tone. I should be ashamed of myself. I certainly was. He didn’t deserve my hateful side aimed toward him. My teeth worried the inside of my already gnawed-on lips. I needed to figure out another way to cope and think. Otherwise, I would chew a hole in my face.
I turned toward the window, looking out at the pitch-black night. When I glanced toward Cameron and Priest, they were both engrossed in their buzzing phones.
I needed Squirt. If I had him, I might be able to rest for a bit.
I held my breath to staunch the threat of a panic-induced, ugly crying fit. I couldn’t believe I forgot him. I’d never left him behind before. I didn’t pack for myself, but that didn’t excuse the oversight. It certainly wasn’t the first time someone packed for me. I felt so lost and alone already, and without him, those feelings bombarded me like waves on a rocky shore.
Lost and alone. That’s what I would be if something happened to my dad. Alone.
The word flashed like a marquee. It echoed like a beautiful, sorrowful melody. Then Hayden’s words followed behind it, providing the harmony.
“You’re not alone. You have us, colibrí. Do you understand?”
If not for the kisses we shared, those words would’ve confused me, but… oh my goodness, those kisses. Declan had been right. Hayden’s kisses were addictive, but so were Declan’s. Just the memory of them made me hot and bothered.
My phone dinged. Fumbling for it, I hopped from the seat when I knocked it flying in my haste. I thanked my lucky stars for carpeted floors and a decent phone case. Snatching the phone from the floor before I did something really stupid like step on it, I sat down.
Expecting to see a text from Gavin, I nearly dropped the phone again when Declan’s name popped up, along with a photo of them with Squirt. Hayden calling himself ‘Papi’ and Declan ‘Daddy’ was like all my dreams came true in one photo. But then he named the chat Three Times as Dirty . I was so vanilla outside of the desire for a Daddy or two, I didn’t know if I could live up to that name.
Was that possible?
I had experienced Hayden’s version of dirty.
I’d caught them…
In the hallway…
Anyone could see them.
If that wasn’t enough, Hayden pulled Declan’s dick out and made Declan…
Oh mylanta! I can’t even say what he did.
Was he into more than public sex?
The idea never appealed to me. PDA made me uncomfortable sometimes, but… the more I thought about it, the more I remembered walking down the hallway and finding them… WOW was all that came to mind.
Then I pictured it…
Having a man, or two, want me so much they couldn’t wait to find a private spot… yeah, that…
Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!
My inner walls pulsed with need at the thought. I glanced at the two men sitting on the other side of the plane. My heart raced.
I couldn’t do that. Again. And not in front of them!
My mind wouldn’t let go of the images from that night in the hallway. But it also wouldn’t let go of the thoughts that went along with them.
Did he tie people up and spank them?
I didn’t like the idea of being tied up, but a spanking… with his hand… that had promise.
Was he into age play?
Other than Squirt and my love of Pixar movies and coloring books, I wasn’t really into regression. At least not the way some of the littles who frequented the club Gavin and I went to were.
Some of the littles there went all out.
Diapers.
Bottles.
Pacifiers.
Baby blankets.
Sippy cups.
I wouldn’t yuck on anyone else’s yum, because what worked for someone was their business and their Daddy’s, but it wasn’t my thing.
But… was it Hayden’s?
Or Declan’s?
A huff lifted my shoulders in a sigh, only to pause as music so iconic that people the world over recognized it. Myself included.
I looked up, turning toward the television I’d not paid any attention. Joy filled my chest as Priest moved away from the television, and the screen filled with the blue ocean and two tiny clown fish. Moments later, a hand appeared in front of my face. I grasped it, my eyes never leaving the screen. Cameron pulled me to my feet and settled me on the couch across from the television. I hardly noticed when a blanket fell over me.
* * *
“Wakey, wakey!”
“Are there eggs and bakey?” I mumbled, wiping the sleep from my eyes, thankful I had scrubbed my face of makeup before Gavin’s call came in.
Laughter rumbled inches from my face. My eyes popped open, and Priest’s friendly gaze met mine.
“No. Sorry. I wish.”
“Have we landed?” I asked, letting my eyes fall closed again. I wasn’t ready to be awake yet.
“Not yet. We woke you early because we figured you’d have things you wanted to handle before we touched down. Plus, I don’t know about you, but I hate having to rush around as soon as my eyes open.”
I nodded, opening my eyes before yawning.
Cameron laughed. “That’s because you’re an old man.”
Priest flipped Cameron the bird, making the other man laugh.
I looked between them. They didn’t look all that much different in age, but they did look a little older than Hayden. Both were very attractive and in unbelievable shape, but they did nothing for me. Like looking at famous paintings by the masters, I could recognize and appreciate their beauty, but I wouldn’t want to have them for myself.
Not like Hayden and Declan. They were unimaginably gorgeous, breathtakingly so, and if they were paintings in a museum, I wouldn’t hesitate in turning to a life of crime. Short, curvy art thieves were a thing, right?
Priest’s phone buzzed.
“Declan says there’s food in the kitchen area.”
Cameron moved away while Priest hung out in front of me, probably afraid I would go back to sleep.
“What kinda plane has a kitchen?” I asked.
“The bougie ones owned by billionaires.”
His laughter was deep and comforting like his voice.
Cameron called out, “Once we get to the hospital, I’ll see about getting us all something to eat. For now, I’ve scavenged some fruit, yogurt, protein bars, and juice.”
“C’mon, princess. Time to get your legs under you.”
I sat up, overcome with a yawn, my eyes blinking and watering. I stood to stretch before moving to sit across from the two men who were already diving into the food Cameron had dumped onto the table. I grabbed an apple and a peach yogurt, leaving the protein bars for the two beefcake guys.
“Grab one of the protein bars, princess. It’ll hold you over better.”
My nose wrinkled at Priest’s words. I wasn’t a fan of fitness food. It always tasted like chalk. I was a southern girl. Give me full fat, full flavor. Well, unless it was the stuff I made from the recipes the team nutritionist sent home with Gavin.
“No, thanks. I can’t stomach those things. If we have the time, I’ll make you some food that actually tastes good.”
They both laughed, and at first I thought they were laughing at me, but Cameron said, “Ask Hayden about MREs. Especially the crackers. Those things are so bad.”
“They make the Sahara seem like a rainforest.”
I chuckled.
We landed not long after, and my nerves ramped up. I’d received a couple of texts from Gavin while I slept, but they weren’t urgent. Mostly no news yet. I’d reacted to his messages, but didn’t actually text him back. Or so it appeared. Not that I remembered doing so.
When we stepped out of the plane onto the stairs, a black luxury SUV rolled to a stop next to the plane. The passenger door opened, and my brow furrowed.
“Jackson?”
“No, darlin’, but we get that a lot. I’m his cousin, Asher. My brother Bauer is in the driver’s seat. He looks more like Walker while Jackson and I look like Foster, who’s mine and Bauer’s dad.”
And Declan.
Good heavens. Were all the Holt men gorgeous or just the few I’d met? If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it at least a dozen times. The powers above had blessed the Holt men with good looks and panty-dropping sex appeal.
“You must be Priest,” Asher held his hand out to Priest, then turned to Cameron, “and you’re Cameron. Nice to meet you.”
They shook hands, and led me to the passenger seat of the SUV while the three guys climbed in the back.
“Everyone, that’s Bauer.”
We all said hello, but it was half-hearted because the smell of spicy breakfast food filled the cabin.
“Declan called and said y’all only had the crap the plane comes stocked with so we brought sustenance. Hope you like it spicy.”
I held back gimme hands but just barely. As soon as the foil and parchment-wrapped burrito hit my palm, I opened it, sniffing the spicy, eggy, sausagey goodness.
“Oh! There’s cheese too,” I mumbled in appreciation, dancing in my seat.
“Ash, does she remind you of anyone?”
“Declan, when Nana cooks.”
They laughed. All four of them, but I didn’t care. The Tex-Mex flavors bursting in my mouth beat anything I’d eaten since the last time the concert stopped in the Lone Star State. The guys talked around me while I focused on the food and the cold, fizzy soda Asher opened and handed me.
When we pulled up to the hospital parking lot, Asher handed me a box. “Oh! I almost forgot. This package arrived for you.”
“What is it?”
“No clue. The delivery driver pulled up to the gate as we were leaving.”
I also had no clue. No one knew I was coming to Nashville. No one knew enough to connect me to the twins who picked us up. It was a tiny one. I didn’t even know there was a connection.
“Thank you.”
The brown box didn’t give me any clues. I thought about opening it, but the vehicle slowed to a stop, and the back doors opened, then mine did. I turned to see Priest in the door opening, smiling with his hand out, taking the package from me before helping me exit the car.
Anxiety struck as soon as my feet hit the ground. Gavin texted throughout the night, but the updates were few and far between. Daddy had a massive heart attack. He needed surgery, but they were holding off until he was a bit stronger. Other than that, I didn’t know what awaited me inside, and it hit me.
With Priest on one side carrying my package and Cameron on the other with my bag, both of which I tried taking off their hands, only to be ignored in the nicest way possible, we walked into the hospital. Luckily, our bellies were full, and I had a bit more pep in my step than when I got off the plane, but I was still exhausted beyond comprehension.
Looking around, the anxiety I already felt doubled. I had no idea where to go. Taking a deep breath, I approached the man at the visitor’s desk, but Priest and Cameron placed their hands on the small of my back and guided me past him toward the elevators.
“Do Marines just know things, or have y’all been here before?”
Cameron laughed, but it was Priest who answered.
“We were Recon, ma’am, but Hayden and Declan spent the night arranging things for us. They made sure Bauer and Asher picked us up with food in tow, and they sent your dad’s room number to us.”
Tears flooded my gaze. Could they truly be this good? Could they be the guys I’d always hoped for?
When the elevator doors swooshed open, Gavin stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall opposite the bank of elevators. I didn’t tell him I had an entourage accompanying me. I hadn’t been in the mood for the inquisition, but seeing his face light up when our eyes met, only for his mouth to fall open when he took in Priest and Cameron flanking me, brightened my mood and day tenfold.
Until he opened his big, stupid mouth.
“Holy hell, Squirt! You went out and found yourself two fine as frog hair Daddies.”
Flames engulfed my face as anxiety-ridden embarrassment clawed its way through my body. Before I could respond, Priest stepped forward, pressing himself into Gavin’s personal space.
“Boy, I know you didn’t announce her business to the world without any thought as to what you said?”
Gone was the happy-go-lucky cut up I’d been getting to know over the last few days. In his place stood the scary gunnery sergeant who made Marines in his command pee their pants, everyone said he was. I hadn’t seen it, not even when I listened to all the Marines on Katie and Jackson’s detail swap stories from the fringes. Priest always smiled. Always. Sarcastic, funny one-liners and observations I pictured perfectly, but not this. Gavin was several inches taller, pounds heavier, and more muscled, but Priest didn’t seem phased.
“Gunny,” Cameron barked.
Priest’s body stiffened.
“Back off. The boy didn’t mean anything by it.”
Priest sucked his teeth, and stepped back. I couldn’t tell for sure, since I stood behind him, but it appeared like his gaze moved down Gavin’s body. Judging from Cameron’s face, which I could see since he stood at an angle to me and at Gavin and Priest’s shoulders, I hit that mark spot on. Because Cameron’s gaze visibly trailed downward, his head dipping, just like Priest’s. I didn’t know what they were doing, but I checked the floor. Gavin hadn’t wet himself, so that was a good sign.
“Apologize.”
The word came out more growled than spoken, but I looked at Gavin, afraid he’d unleash his sometimes unruly temper. His gaze remained locked on Priest. There was a hint of fear in his gaze, but the heat I saw there didn’t worry me in the way I thought I’d need to be worried. It wasn’t anger turning the flames up in his eyes. My lips twitched.
“Alrighty then, can we get to why we’re actually here, or do the three of you need me to ask around for a measuring stick?”
This time, I knew Cameron and Priest looked down because Priest said, “Nope. I don’t need a ruler. I have the kid’s number already, but if you see one, grab it for me, because I get the feeling someone likes having his ass paddled.”
Gavin’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, but he didn’t utter a single word.
“Boy…”
Gavin looked at Cameron. “Sir.”
“Gunny gave you an order.”
Gavin turned to me and said, “Sorry, Squirt.”
He cleared his throat, his gaze bouncing from Cameron to Priest and back.
“Good boy.” Priest tapped Gavin’s cheek with the palm of his hand. “Show the princess where her daddy is. She’s fretted all night.”
“Yes, sir,” Gavin said. The respect and submission were so obvious that even someone who didn’t know Gavin, the life he craved could’ve picked it up.
“They have him on a bunch of medicine if the bags hanging from the IV poles are any indication. They also have him on a machine to help him breathe.”
“He has a DNR.”
“I know, and I mentioned it. There was some confusion when he came in from the nursing home, and the doctors didn’t know until after they did it. They are waiting for you to make the ultimate decision.”
Cameron and Priest swore behind me, and if I did such a thing, I would’ve echoed it. Instead, I nodded.
I don’t think I can do this.