Chapter 10
Theo
I deserved an award for surviving the last six minutes of my life. After taking a freezing cold shower to prevent myself from getting hard, I breathed through my mouth to not breathe in all her scents. The soap? Vanilla. It was enticing and made me want to lick the bar.
The way her body looked. Fuck. She had the body of a goddess. I’d meant what I said about her being beautiful earlier, but that was her personality and facial expressions. I had no idea what she hid under her scrubs, but now that I knew, fuck. It had been months since I’d hooked up with someone, and I was struggling.
She stood there, her cheeks red as hell from blushing and her pillow lips parting as she breathed deeply. Each breath caused her chest to rise, drawing my attention to her tits. They stood out now with that sexy top. This was a new development in my relationship with Audrey Hawthorne.
I was fucking attracted to her.
“Ready for the rage room?” I asked, my voice scratchy and throaty. Ugh. It was the lingering buzz I felt around her.
She nodded and pressed her lips together tight, her eyes roaming over my face and hair. “I like your curls.”
Her voice was barely a whisper, and I ran a hand through my hair. My hair became curly when wet. It had always been that way since a kid. And knowing she liked it caused my chest to swell with pride. “Yeah?”
She nodded but then cleared her throat and jumped toward her desk. “I’ll get my keys.”
“Want me to drive? I can drop you off back here before I head home. Only if you’re comfortable though.”
Yeah, I was selfish and wanted to be near her. She wanted to distract me from my mom, and mission accomplished. I hadn’t thought about my mom or her stroke since the second I got in here.
“I’m comfortable with you.”
“Then let’s go rage it out.” A part of me also needed to work through this attraction. Burn off the energy I had around her. If she offered to get naked and distract me that way, let’s just say I’d absolutely declare fuck yes.
Rage room would be better for us. Especially with how things were with her brother. This would add fuel to the fire and zap. The lust dulled. I couldn’t hook up with Quentin’s sister. That was an unwritten rule on the ice. Even if I hated the guy, I’d abide by those rules.
She locked up, and I followed her out of the dorm, letting myself admire the curve of her ass in her jeans. She had narrow hips, and her arms were cut. She had muscle, and I kinda dug it.
“This place is about fifteen minutes from here. They have all sorts of things we can hit. And we can pick our weapon of choice.” She grinned just as the sunlight hit her, and damn. The brown and green hues of her eyes and the shades of auburn in her hair—she was stunning. And fucking smart.
I guided her to my truck and opened the passenger door for her. There was a large step up, and I held out a hand, not expecting her to take it. But she did. Her fingers landed on mine as she jumped into the cabin, and when I released her, my hand tingled with heat.
This was gonna be a long-ass semester if we spent this much time together. I’d have to fight my attraction off every minute. I ran a hand through my hair, shaking it as I walked to my side of the truck.
We could totally do this. Be friends, nothing more. Maybe it was the fact I hadn’t been with someone in months. Hell, maybe half a year. Balancing responsibilities with hockey and my family was a full-time gig, but before my mom’s stroke, I used to hook up regularly. Nothing wild like most of the team but enough to take the edge off.
I started the truck as Audrey crossed one leg over the other, then she shifted again. “You good?”
“Are we gonna talk about what happened?”
Fuck. “Mm, do you want to?”
“I-I don’t know. I just… you saw me almost naked.”
“Pretend it was a swimsuit. I didn’t see anything more than that.” And now I was thinking about her in a wet suit, water dripping down her body… I shivered. I wanted to drag my tongue up her body. Okay, settle down. “I am sorry about opening the door without warning you. That’s on me.”
“Oh, no it’s okay. Don’t feel bad.” She cleared her throat. “You’re right. Swimming suit.”
“Yeah.”
The silence grew, and I wanted to pull the thoughts from her mind, analyze them like I would post-game film. See what landed well, what could use improvements. Like, should I have said she was hot? Would complimenting her make this less awkward or more?
I swallowed. Were these nerves? I hated them.
“This place requires us to wear a jumpsuit.” She let out something like giggle. It was her version of one, and it was cute. “Then we can pick between a sledgehammer, an axe, a bat, or a golf club. Oh man, they have a room of electronics we can just destroy.”
“I’ve always wanted to punch a computer screen.” I slid a glance at her, and her lips were curved up, her face softening instead of the worry lines I was familiar with. “Probably shouldn’t with the whole hockey thing.”
She gasped. “Theo.”
“What?” I checked the mirrors. Was there something in the road? My pulse raced. “What is it, Audrey?”
“You can’t go to a rage room. Ugh.” She covered her face with her hands, groaning. “It’s not worth the potential injury. God, I’m the worst. No, let’s turn around.”
“No, it’s totally alright. I’ll behave.”
“Coach Reiner would be appalled. You can’t get injured before senior year, not before you head to the Acorns.”
“Injuries can happen at any time,” I said, the temperature cooling in the car. I might as well have dumped ice water all over us. The warmth and attraction fizzled out as fast as blowing out a candle. Why had I said that? Why?
“I, uh, that’s why I’m finishing my degree in nursing, so if I do have to quit hockey early for any reason, I’ll have another career path. I’m not afraid of injuries as much as others.”
“Yeah, that’s a good plan. Smart.” She stared out the window before adjusting her legs again. “Could I try to convince you to go somewhere else? I’d never forgive myself if you even tweaked a finger.”
“Nah, you were too excited talking about it. Worst case, I can watch you.”
“No! This is for you. A diversion from the ICU and home, you know, to get you out of your head for a little bit. I’m okay.”
“Being around you is a distraction for me, Auds,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I probably shouldn’t have said that. It showed too much. I ran a hand over my jaw, the regret itching to get out, and I changed the song to some upbeat punk cover. “Anyway?—”
“What does that mean? I can’t tell if you’re being nice or insinuating something more. Not that you would. You know what? That was stupid of me to ask. I shouldn’t have. You would never. Okay, yeah turn around and let me out, please.”
“You’re kinda cute when you’re nervous.” I smiled, the tension around my shoulder easing. Audrey rambled like I made her nervous, and it felt good to know I wasn’t the only one feeling something here. “And a part of me did mean it that way. You’re easy to be around, and I’m enjoying learning about you. So yeah, I would insinuate more.”
“You can’t say that to me.”
“And why not?”
“Because.”
“Oh, is that all?” I teased, checking the left lane before passing a slow car. We were about ten minutes from the rage room, and I’d make sure we saw this thing through. “Great closing argument. You should be a lawyer.”
She snorted. “I hate when you’re funny. It makes it harder to keep some distance between us. That’s my reason, Sanders.”
Did I want her keeping distance between us? Nope. I didn’t. “Just to make sure I’m hearing you, Auds, you want me to be less funny because you find me so charming and hot that when I make you laugh you have to stop yourself from attacking my mouth?”
“Theo!” She swatted my arm, her brilliant laughter filling the cab of my truck.
My god, I fucking loved that laugh.
“That is not what I said, and you know it. Ugh, you’re such a pain in the ass.” She said the words with a smile on her face, and I grinned into my fist.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted from Audrey and wasn’t sure I’d ever figure it out, but right now? There was no other person I wanted to be around, and I’d just enjoy that feeling.
“Fuck yes! Take that!”Audrey swung a bat over her head and crashed it onto an old television set. The metal cracked, and glass broke into pieces on the floor, the sounds echoing in the large warehouse. “Fuck you.”
She hit it again, her eyes wild beneath the goggles. Maybe Audrey needed this release more than me because she was addicting to watch. All those feelings she kept locked up tight exploded around her in colors, and she was a piece of art. Call me ridiculous, but watching Audrey Hawthorne beat the shit out of old electronics was magical and sexy.
“People suck,” she yelled, then picked up an old school phone and tossed it across the room until it slammed into the wall. “Theo,” she said, her voice breathless. Her chest heaved as she smiled at me, and I swore something shifted in my chest at that grin.
“What, Auds?”
“Try it. It’s euphoric.” She handed me an old monitor and pointed to the wall. “Don’t overextend yourself but toss it. Make it hurt.”
“You’re a little evil.” I winked. “I like it though.” I took the device and tossed it, and fuuuuck that felt good. Wrong and therapeutic. I’d been a rule follower for so damn long that destroying something lit a fire in me.
An emotional fire.
Why did my mom have to have a stroke and not my dad?
Why did my dad expect me to stop my life and take care of my siblings?
What was he going to do when I went to the NHL?
Did he want my money for the signing bonus?
Why couldn’t Mom get better and tell me I was doing the right thing?
Who would hold Penny when she was sad?
Would my dad keep Em out of trouble with Jace?
Fuck.
My throat tightened as I moved to another piece of equipment, smashing before picking up an axe and destroying a piece of plywood. “Yes!” I smashed item after item, not caring that I sweated more than I did during a workout or that my forearms would be sore. I destroyed and took out my rage.
Why did Quentin have to be related to my fucking clinical partner?
Why did Audrey have to be so fucking pretty? The one person who understood my stress, who saw me for more than a hockey guy or a caretaker? Someone I felt a spark with who I’d never be able to be more than clinical friends with? It was unfair.
Fucking Quentin.
I switched to a golf club and crushed an old lamp. The sound was so satisfying I shuddered.
“I think our time is up, Theo.” A soft voice appeared to my left, and Audrey grabbed my arm. “Do you want me to pay for more time?”
I shook my head, my adrenaline coming down hard. My eyes fucking watered, and I didn’t even realize it. “I’m good.”
She placed her hand on mine, grabbed the golf club, and tossed it over to the side. I kept her touch on me as we left through the entrance. We returned our jumpsuits and goggles, paid, and walked back into the brutal summer sun of central Illinois. It smelled like rain was coming, and I inhaled, taking a moment to collect myself.
That experience… changed me. I needed it and hadn’t known it. Closing my eyes, I faced the sun and let the warm rays wash over me. It cleansed me in the weirdest way. I felt less angry about my dad, about my life being unfair. And when I opened my eyes, Audrey stared at me with such a worried expression it took all my effort not to squeeze her in a hug.
This woman had known exactly what to do, and I owed her. “Thank you.” I cleared my throat as emotion clogged it. “This was amazing. I needed it.”
“Good. I’m glad.” She blushed and stared at the corn fields, but that wouldn’t do. I closed the distance between us and cupped one side of her face, dragging my thumb over her jawline. She sucked in a breath as her eyes widened. Her breath tickled my face, and the warmth from her made me shiver.
I gently pressed my lips against hers, craving the emotional connection with her more than I cared to admit. It had been so long since I kissed someone just because I was thankful for them. Years, even, since I’d cupped a girl’s face and wished I could express how much I cared for them with one gesture. God, her lips were perfect and slightly wet. I wanted to nibble them. I lingered for two seconds, loving the way her soft lips felt against mine, then I pulled back. “Thank you. Seriously. I don’t know how to thank you properly, but that’s the best I’ve felt in months. Months, Auds.” I shook my head, admiring the freckles on the tip of her nose and the way her skin flushed while looking at me. “Very few people understand me the way you do, and you’ve only known me a few weeks. Makes me question my teammates.”
She chewed her lip, her gaze remaining my mouth. “You did transfer to a team where most of the guys will hate you.”
“Couldn’t let me live in la-la land for a few more minutes, eh? Had to bring me down.” I forced a laugh and guided her to my car. It wasn’t that I meant to kiss her in a sexual “let’s get naked” way. I mean hell, I was attracted to her. But my love language was physical touch. Physical and emotional connection were essential for me, and that seemed like the right thing to do. “I’ll take you back, Auds. Thank you. You’re a good friend.”