Chapter 22
Theo
Quentin seemed off today.
I couldn’t pinpoint what, but the asshole seemed upset. More than usual and not at me. It had been a few days since the party, and while I would’ve preferred to spend every waking second with Audrey, naked, I couldn’t. She knew I had to focus on the team, and plus, she was off her study routine because of me.
We agreed to do our own thing this afternoon, even though she was on my mind. Was she hungry? Had she packed a snack? I often found myself buying pretzels just to have on me around her. The straight kind, not the twisted. To her, they tasted different. I fought a smile. Just thinking about her put me in a better mood.
“You’re so fucking annoying.” Quentin played with a straw wrapper and tore it into ten pieces. “Sitting there with a stupid smile. Why are you even trying? I hate you. You hate me.”
“You’re spicier than normal. Want to talk about it?”
“No. Not with you.” He ran a hand over his face, and that’s when I noticed he had dark circles under his eyes. Like he hadn’t been sleeping. He yawned and stared around the student union without his usual swagger. I chose this spot because it was public, so if he wanted to swing at me there’d be witnesses but also because I was hungry. I picked up a fry just as he asked, “Have you ever fucked up?”
Whoa. He’d asked me a question.
“Of course, I have. We all do.”
“No, I meant with someone you care about.”
Shit. Did he mean his sister? I wasn’t sure I could handle talking about this knowing how upset Audrey was. I immediately tensed, but this was good he was opening up. Maybe he realized he was the problem. Maybe Audrey can forgive him.
That was ideal for me. I’d be a mess without my siblings’ care, and even though she said she wanted him out of her life, I knew it was a lie. She loved him. She was just hurt.
“Messed up with someone I care about?” I thought about my dad and how he hadn’t spoken to me since I’d snapped at him. Instead, he’d been having Em be the translator between us. A rock formed in my gut, and I put that shit in a box for another day. “Yes. I have.”
There. That was the truth. I wish I would’ve handled my dad better, made us a team instead of enemies.
“Did you fix it?”
I shook my head. “Q, I know you hate me because you blame me for your injury. I kinda get it actually, but as your captain and someone who wants you to be good mentally and physically, you gotta give me more than this.”
“I do hate you.”
“Yes, that’s been noted.” I sighed.
“Has my…you see my sister at clinicals, right?”
I nodded, keeping my face neutral. I wasn’t giving him any more about her.
“Audrey is the reason I’m here. At this school, playing hockey.” He hung his head. “She wants me out of her life.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Like shit, what do you think?” he snapped. “She won’t text me back, and I’m worried I can’t fix it. This is stupid, talking to you about this because you don’t want to help me in any way or could?—”
“Quentin,” I barked out, making him look at me. “Let me make this clear. I’m on team Audrey. When you work clinicals at the ICU with someone, you go through things and bond. I respect the hell out of her and want nothing more than for her to be happy. And for some reason, she loves your dumbass. So, I do care. I do want to help you because it’ll help her.”
His jaw ticked. “I’m glad she has a friend in her corner.”
More than a friend. But I just nodded.
“When you hurt someone you love, how do you fix it? That’s where I’m stuck. I don’t know if you know this, but our dad died when we were in high school, and it was bad. Like, really bad. Audrey became the parent of the house. Our mom…she isn’t who she used to be. She uses Audrey…Fuck. Telling you this sucks. I don’t… I should go.”
His voice shook, and it was so clearly a cry for help my heart squeezed in my chest. I thought about Audrey helping Em, holding her that day she got the flat. This was Audrey’s Em, and all the hockey bullshit disappeared, and it was just me and Audrey’s brother. Her only real family left.
“My mom had a stroke and is in a long-term facility. My dad stopped being a dad. It’s been almost a year and a half now, and it’s been hell. I’m too afraid to go see her, and my dad and I barely speak. I know what it’s like, what you’re going through. Only, I’m the Audrey in this situation. I’m the oldest. I’m the caretaker for my three siblings, and if I was fighting with one of them, it would kill me.”
Quentin gulped and stared at me with wide eyes. “Wait, what?”
“That’s the reason I asked to transfer here. My siblings live thirty minutes from campus, and I have to pick them up from school, make sure they have dinner. Because if I don’t? I can’t guarantee my dad would come home.” I swallowed the bitter pill as I shared with Quentin. “Our relationship changed. I’m not the fun older brother anymore. I’m the one who feeds them, puts my five-year-old sister to bed. Instead of living up my senior year before the NHL, that’s what I’m doing every night. All I do is give myself to them. I’m sacrificing a lot for them. But they’re young. You’re not. If Audrey had to do even a little bit of that with you… that girl sacrificed everything for you and your mom. Now, my siblings are grateful as fuck, and we’ve bonded together through this. Have you? Are you grateful?”
Fuck, what was I gonna do next year? I would miss them so much.
He stared across the cafeteria and shook his head. I didn’t intend to knock the sails completely out of Quentin, but he looked defeated. ”Audrey has always been the responsible one, the more mature and smarter and better one. My mom is ashamed of herself and can’t be around Audrey out of embarrassment. And she’s struggling financially when Audrey has been frugal. She failed as a parent, and her daughter is a better one.”
“Have you talked to your sister about this?”
“No. I’m not sure I deserve to after hearing this from you. She’s never… she yelled at me for the first time in our lives last week. I had no idea she was upset or hurt or anything. She’s always been stable and consistent and there for me.”
“But have you been there for her?”
He shook his head. “No.”
My phone buzzed, and I fought the urge to look at it. It was probably Audrey, and this wasn’t the time. I’d stop over there after this, but I hope, prayed, and wished that this chat with Quentin helped their relationship. She needed her brother.
“It’s hard knowing you’re a part of the problem, but owning your shit and apologizing is the only way forward. Your sister is stubborn as fuck, but her heart is huge. You should know this.”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat and stared at me with watery eyes. “I’m sorry about your mom, Theo. I don’t know if it’s better or worse than losing a parent.”
My throat clogged. “Thank you.”
“I still hate you.”
“Yes, I know.”
“But I don’t want to punch you in the face as much. A little still.”
“Okay, good. I’d hate for our bonding sessions to work. It’d just go to my head too much.”
Quentin’s mouth twitched before he sighed. “Can I ask you a question?”
Don’t ask if I’m dating your sister. Not now. Not after progress.
“Yes, I am good-looking and smart. I know it’s hard to accept.”
“Fuck off.” He laughed and rolled his eyes. “It’s about Audrey. Is she happy? I worry that she’s too busy and regimented. I thought my intrusions on her life were spontaneous and a way for her to have fun. She’s so focused. But she told me all the times I would drop in were just my way of showing her I didn’t respect her life.”
“Ah, yeah.” I took a sip of water and carefully treaded through this question. “She is happy. Have you ever seen her face when she talks about nursing? She lights up, dude. She’s meant to do this work. Her schedule calms her down, and like me, when she became the parent, routine is the only way to feel in control and safe. She needs it, and if she’s said this to you, and you ignored it, that is disrespectful. She has fun. She does shit, but on her own time. Be a part of that.”
“Okay, good. I’m glad she’s happy.” He smiled with a sad look in his eyes. “We used to be best friends in high school. Before my dad died, we’d do a lot of stuff together, and it was so easy. We got into some shit too.” He laughed but then scowled at me. “Okay, this is enough.”
“You’re the one still yapping. I thought we said our goodbyes earlier.” I held up my hands. “Walk away any time.”
He stood and glared at me, but his expression lacked his usual wrath. Then, he frowned. “When do we meet again?”
I shrugged. “Reiner expects us to get matching tattoos and wear bracelets, Taylor Swift style soon.”
“Could we, uh, next week? Here?” He stared at the ground and gripped the straps of his bag so tight his knuckles were white. Almost like he was nervous.
Damn. “Hell yeah. We can even hug if you want.”
He flipped me off and turned to leave but paused. “Thank you, Sanders.” Then he took off.
The Hawthorne family was wedging itself deeper and deeper into my heart. Quentin was struggling, and it was hard to picture him as Em. Just a kid who suffered loss and was trying to figure shit out. She made mistakes all the time. Sneaking out, smoking weed, trusting bad friends, but that didn’t make me love her less.
Was Reiner right pairing us up? Seemed like it.
Hoping the text from Audrey, I checked it, and my stomach dropped.
Dad: Come home. It’s Mom.
Fuck. The momentary bliss evaporated.
My first urge was to ask Audrey to come with me. But she was doing her own thing. We agreed. Yet… fuck it. I needed her. I called her.
“Hi!” she answered, all cheery and sunshine. “I miss you.”
“I’m sorry to bother you right now,” I paused and cleared my throat. My voice was hoarse and filled with worry.
“You can always bother me! What’s wrong?”
“It’s my mom. I don’t… my dad texted me to come home. Can you?—”
“Do you want me to come with you?” she interrupted. “I can meet you in five minutes. I’ll pack up now. Unless you don’t want me too. I can also not.”
I snorted. She was fucking cute. “No, baby, I really want you with me.”
“Then I’ll be there. Text me where you parked.”
God, she was perfect.
The thought of facing my dad’s news alone sent shivers down my spine. I wasn’t over the first time he told me the news of her stroke. Having Audrey with me would make it all better. I knew it.
It didn’t take long to meet at my truck, and she stood there like a breath of fresh air. Her hair was down and wavy, and her sundress was a light purple and fit her perfectly. She chewed her lip in concern, but her eyes lit up when she saw me coming.
“Do you want me to drive? I can, but maybe you want the distraction?”
“I want a kiss. That’s what I want.” I tossed my shit into the back and marched toward her. “Every second I’m not kissing you is a waste.”
She giggled and jumped onto me. Fuck. I loved this wild side of her. The side no one else got to see. She wrapped her legs around my waist and threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. I could feel the heat of her pussy near my dick, and I loved how every time we were together, she got a little bolder. She nipped my lips this time, and I groaned into her. “You taste so good, Auds.”
“I missed you.” She kissed down my jawline. “Which is silly. I saw you yesterday.”
“Nah, I missed you too.” I missed her all the damn time. “You look beautiful. I love this dress.”
“Oh, thank you.”
I set her down, and she smoothed it out, her usual pretty blush covering her face. “Are you wearing your lingerie under it?”
She looked to the left, then to the right, a naughty expression on her face before she pulled the top of the dress down to show the very see-through, very sexy bra. Her nipple poked through the fabric, right in daylight, and a bolt of lust hit me. “Fuck, Auds. You’re trying to kill me.”
“You asked.” She shrugged and adjusted herself. “I was hoping to see you tonight.”
“Well, I have no idea what’s gonna happen with my dad, but knowing you’re wearing that will be a perfect distraction.” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “This could be a rough night. Will you stay with me?”
“You don’t even have to ask, Theo. Of course, I will. Whatever you need. If you want me to leave too, I will. Sometimes, dealing with shit alone is better.”
“Nah, I’d always choose you with me.”
She gave me a soft smile, one that met her eyes, and my heart skipped a beat. How the fuck was I gonna survive without seeing her every day next year? I was addicted to her now, and the season hadn’t even started. Panic clawed at me. I couldn’t lose her. She was the best thing that had happened to me.
“Then come on, Sanders. Let’s go see what your dad has to say. I’ll be with you the whole time.” She took my hand and led me to the passenger seat of my own car. She helped me get in, which was so silly and sweet, and bent forward to kiss my cheek. “You don’t have to be strong for me, okay? Be that for everyone else, but be real with me.”
“Fuck, you are… lovely.” I swallowed down the urge to say more, but she was incredible. I wanted her to know I would legit die for her at this point.
“As are you.” She cupped my face, and a shadow crossed her face. Before I could ask what she was thinking, she masked it and hopped into the driver’s side. “To your house?”
“Yup.”
She didn’t ask any questions on the drive. Instead, she told me the wild story of her group for a class and the interesting people she’d chatted with. She talked about next year and the hospital she wanted to work at. She also spoke about going to our first home game and how excited she was to watch us play. And maybe, if Em, Daniel, and Penny were up for it, she’d like to go with them.
She distracted me from the shitshow waiting for us, and I couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend. For real. The drive flew by, and the butterflies of dread filled me but not as badly as we walked toward the front door.
She gripped my hand. “Lean on me when you need to, okay? I got you.”
“I don’t deserve you, Hawthorne.”
“Yes, you do. We deserve each other.” She squeezed my palm. “You can handle this. You’re so strong, Theo. You will get through this.”
Suddenly, I didn’t want to go inside. I wanted to run away with Audrey and live in the woods. What if my dad said Mom got worse? What if she’d died, and I’d never visited her out of fear? Fuck. Fuck!
“Deep breaths. Hey, look at me.” She inhaled and exhaled, modeling deep breaths until I followed. “It could be good news. You don’t know until you know. Worrying won’t change the outcome right now.”
I nodded, but she stood on her tiptoes and pressed the lightest kiss on my mouth. It was too short, too sweet, but it was perfect. She was perfect.
She opened the front door, and we walked inside. I had no idea what to prepare for, but it wasn’t my dad sitting at the kitchen table waiting for us.