Chapter 9
NINE
I watch the tiny town pass by through the passenger window of Theo’s truck as he drives us to his mom’s for dinner. My sore fingertips press into my thigh, the rough fabric of my jeans sending a jolt of pain through them. I welcome the sensation, taking in a sharp breath as the pain courses through me, letting it serve as a reminder not to get too comfortable.
Even though I did let myself get comfortable today.
I glance over at Theo in the driver’s seat as he turns off the main street, and confusion replaces the pain. I know I shouldn’t be doing any of this. I shouldn’t be enjoying myself, going to family dinners, and laughing with him about who can catch the most fish. But today, out on the water with him… I effortlessly let it all go. I actually felt like the old me, and it felt good.
But I don’t think that’s a good thing. The old me fucked everything up.
Theo pulls into the driveway of a charming coastal home with weathered wood siding and a seafoam green front door. As I step out of the truck, I take a moment to appreciate the view of the water from up here on the hill, overlooking the marina below.
“Uncle Theo!”
A little boy runs towards Theo as he pulls a cooler out of the truck bed.
“Hey, little man,” Theo says with a smile, as the boy stops before him.
He’s a mini version of Theo, probably about four or five, with a soft sprinkling of freckles over his nose and cheeks, messy brown hair, soft brown eyes, and dirt smeared all over his shirt. He immediately pushes up on his tiptoes, peering at the cooler in Theo’s hands and tries to open the lid. “What did you bring?”
Theo chuckles, opening the cooler for him. “Mackerel.”
I can't help but smirk as mini Theo peers into the cooler, his forehead scrunched in concentration. After a moment, he solemnly nods and looks up at his uncle. “Six.”
Theo smiles. “That’s right.” Then he glances at me and narrows his eyes slightly, the competitive spark between us still present. Because four of those are mine, and only two are his.
And of course, I gave him some shit about it. Because I outfished the fisherman.
The boy suddenly turns to look up at me. “Who are you?”
My eyes flick to Theo, then back to the curious boy before me. “I’m Liam.”
“Liam lives at my house,” Theo says, closing the cooler lid. Then he ruffles the boy’s hair. “This is my nephew, Mason.”
Mason observes me carefully with a furrowed brow. “You live with my uncle?”
I nod slowly as I get a small taste of the potential scrutiny I’m about to face inside the house with the rest of Theo’s family. “Yeah… I just moved in a few days ago.”
He continues to stare up at me as a moment of silence passes between us, and my nerves start to grow. If I can’t make it past this kid, how the fuck am I going to manage in there?
But Mason just nods. “Ok.” Then he turns to Theo. “Me and Isla are playing in the backyard. Will you come play with us?”
Theo chuckles. “In a bit. We’re going to go say hi to everyone first.”
“Ok, but don’t take too long. Isla won’t dig for worms with me,” Mason says, then turns to run around the house to the backyard, yelling, “Isla, diggers are for worms, not dolls!”
I release a breath of laughter as Theo shakes his head.
“He takes bait catching very seriously,” he says, walking towards the front door.
As I follow him, I take a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for whatever this is going to bring.
He pushes the door open, and immediately we’re met with warmth, the smell of baked bread, and laughter from within the house. As Theo leads me around a corner towards the voices, my heart beats faster, and I rub my thumb over my blistered fingertips, urging the pain to override the nerves.
The room that opens up before us is cozy and inviting. An older man and a guy about mine and Theo’s age are sitting on the couch, chatting in front of a crackling fire in the wood stove. The room opens into the kitchen, where I recognize Theo’s sister sitting at the island with a glass of wine, talking to a woman who I assume is their mother as she mixes something in a bowl.
“Hey,” Theo says as he steps further into the living room, and I cautiously trail behind him.
All eyes turn to us, and as they land on me, the nerves take over. I’m on full display, and those feelings quickly rush in again, telling me I shouldn’t be here. Every muscle in my body tenses, as I get ready to turn around and run.
But as Theo turns to give me a soft smile and I look into his eyes, I stay right where I am. The safe and content feeling I had today rustles beneath the apprehension and fear, and the tension inside me slowly fades away. I’m not sure why I feel this sense of ease around him, and I’m confused about why I’m not fighting it. But it doesn’t seem to matter as I let his smile pull one from me as well.
“This is Liam.” Theo gestures to me, and I give everyone an awkward wave.
The older man smiles, pushing to his feet and holding out a hand. “Welcome, Liam. I’m Jimmy, Theo’s grandfather.”
I shake his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Theo’s sister steps forward with a big smile. “Hi! I’m Heather, the sister. Nice to finally meet you.”
Theo rolls his eyes and heads into the kitchen, but she ignores him and continues, gesturing to the other guy on the couch. “This is my husband, Chris. And my kids are around here somewhere…” she trails off, glancing out the window.
“Mason already introduced himself outside,” Theo says as he sets the cooler on the counter. “They’re in the backyard. He’s digging for worms.”
Heather lets out an exasperated sigh. “I knew it.” She rushes for the back door and whips it open. “Mason Cameron, I asked for one day without any mud!”
She disappears into the backyard, and I cautiously step further into the room as Jimmy and Chris take their seats again with a laugh, and Theo snorts, opening the cooler.
Theo’s mother smiles warmly, wiping her hands on a towel as she steps closer to me. “Hi Liam, I’m Cynthia. Come in and make yourself at home.”
I smile at her, but it feels forced. The internal war inside me starts up again, as I take in how lovely and welcoming these people are. Since arriving in Torrin Cove, I’ve felt like I’m on a roller coaster. The highs, allowing me to feel the peace this welcoming town and Theo’s home brings me, then the lows, when I remember why I can’t have that.Because this isn’t my home.
My fingers twitch at my side as I continue to stand near the doorway, not sure what to do. But Cynthia notices my discomfort, and gently places a hand on my elbow, guiding me into the kitchen.
“So, what did you bring us?” She peers over the kitchen counter, where Theo is preparing the mackerel to cook. “Oh, lovely!” She then smiles at me. “We’re having lobster as well, so looks like Theo caught our whole meal tonight.”
Theo lifts his eyes and smirks at me. “Yup. The whole thing.”
I huff out a laugh, shaking my head at him. “You wish.”
Suddenly the back door crashes open, and Heather comes in, dragging a mud-covered Mason with her.
“Don’t touch anything,” she says with a sigh as Mason smiles widely while he wiggles his fingers. “Chris, please tell me we brought more clothes.”
“On it,” Chris says as he stands, grabbing a bag from the corner of the room. Then he follows them down the hall as Mason shrieks with delight and Heather lets out a groan of disapproval.
“Unbelievable.”
I look down at a little girl standing beside me, with her hands on her hips as she shakes her head. And I can’t help but let out a laugh at the drastic difference between this girl and her wild little brother, with her hair in perfect braids, clothes clean and pristine, and not one bow out of place.
“Isla,” Theo says, picking up the plate of fish, “this is Liam.”
Isla holds her hand out to me, and my brows lift in surprise as I reach out to take it.
“Nice to meet you,” she says with a polite nod. “Now excuse me, I have to help Nanny make dessert.”
I look at Theo, not quite sure how to respond to this well-mannered and intelligent little girl. Theo just laughs as Isla joins her grandmother in the kitchen and he gestures for me to follow him to the back patio. I close the door behind us as I step outside, taking in the big backyard with huge trees. There’s a peaceful, babbling brook running through it, and Mason’s toy trucks are strewn about in the mud where he was digging for worms.
Theo fires up the barbeque and I take a deep breath of the crisp air. So far… this isn’t so bad.
I turn around as the door opens again, and Jimmy steps out. He smiles and hands Theo and I each a beer, holding up his drink in a cheers. “Didn’t think you’d barbeque without me, did ya?”
“Never,” Theo mutters with a sly smile. “How would I ever get it right if you weren’t here to tell me what to do?”
“Atta boy.” Jimmy laughs and takes a seat on one of the chairs on the patio. “So, Liam. How are you liking Torrin Cove so far?”
I lean against the patio railing and give him a soft smile. “It’s nice. Kinda feels like home.” And suddenly my smile falters and panic rolls through me. I didn’t mean to say that, and I don’t even know where it came from.
But Jimmy just smiles back at me. “And where’s that?”
“Inverness,” I say with an uncertain edge to my voice, as I try to just keep my shit together and get through this.
“Ah,” he says happily. “I know some folks up that way. Or knew, anyway. It was many years ago. What’s your last name?”
My heart pounds as I stare back at Jimmy, frozen as I face a possible connection to back home I’m not ready for. What if he knows my family, and knows what happened… and I have to explain why I’m here, and not with them.
I consider giving him a fake last name so I can continue to hide away, but as Theo glances at me over his shoulder, I realize he doesn’t know it either.
“Fraser,” I say, telling the truth and keeping my eyes on Theo for a moment longer, letting my heart slow down a bit.
Jimmy smiles as I shift my gaze back to him. “I can’t say I knew any Frasers up there,” he says, and relief immediately rushes through me. “I fished with a few men out of that area though, way back in the day. I actually purchased my first ever lobster boat from Inverness.”
Theo looks over at him as he flips one of the fish on the barbeque. “Yeah?”
Jimmy nods. “Indeed. It wasn’t much, but it got me started. And your father was quick to learn to drive it.” He chuckles. “Wasn’t an easy drive either.”
A smile spreads across Theo’s face as he quietly listens to his grandfather reminisce about teaching his son, Theo’s father, how to drive the first lobster boat he ever owned. And I take this moment to watch Theo. Because even though his smile remains, there’s a sadness in his eyes as the light in him slowly fades away.
“And now, with the technology you guys have on those boats, and the size of them,” Jimmy waves a hand in the air with a shake of his head, “they’re basically doing the work for you.”
Theo scoffs and cocks an eyebrow at him. “Offer still stands, old man. Come on out tomorrow morning and show me how it’s done. I’ll gladly step back for a day.”
Jimmy laughs and looks at me, tilting his head towards Theo. “Smartass, isn’t he?”
I chuckle as the door opens and Cynthia pops her head out.
“How’s the fish coming?” she asks. “Everything else is ready.”
“All done,” Theo says, turning the barbeque off and loading the now cooked fish onto the plate.
We head inside to find the table set with various salads, rolls, and a centrepiece of lobster. Mason runs around the table as he tries to grab a lobster, while Chris chases after him, his hands snapping like claws as he playfully pretends to be a lobster trying to catch him.
I stand back and watch the chaos with a smile as Chris finally wrangles Mason into a seat, and everyone else follows suit. As I take my place next to Theo, my eyes roam over the gallery wall behind the table, filled with family photos. But one picture in particular catches my attention. Theo, as a young boy, with a man who I can only assume is his father. Theo is holding up a lobster with a huge smile, and his dad is crouched beside him, smiling proudly.
“Here.”
My attention is brought back to the table as Theo places a lobster on my plate.
“Hope you like lobster… you kind of have to in this house,” he says with a smirk.
I chuckle. “I do.”
I quietly sit and listen to everyone talk as they fill their plates and pass bowls around the table, and before I know it my plate is overflowing. And everything looks delicious.
“So, Theo,” Heather says, setting her wine glass down and smiling at him. “I was thinking about it a bit more.”
“Uh oh,” Chris says from the other side of Theo, and Theo huffs out a laugh as he takes a bite of his salad.
“I just don’t get why you and Allison aren’t together,” she says, and I look up at her. Allison… from the pub?
“I told you,” Theo says, keeping his eyes down on his plate, tension seeming to enter his body as he pulls the claw off his lobster. “We’re better off as friends.”
Cynthia hums thoughtfully, observing her son. “I still don’t know why you two even broke up. You were so cute together. And she is so sweet.”
Theo shakes his head, shifting in his seat. “It just wasn’t working. Like I said, we’re friends. That’s it.”
I observe him for a moment, wondering why he seems so bothered by them asking this. And as Heather shrugs and turns her attention to helping Mason and Isla with their lobster, I can’t help but notice I’m also feeling uncomfortable at the thought of them together. I don’t know why though. She seems nice, she’s pretty, and they appear to get along well. And actually, she’s the type of girl I typically go for. But I’m definitely not looking to pick up girls while I’m here, so this uncomfortable feeling isn’t jealousy that he’s been with her, and I haven’t… Is it?
But I shake it off, pushing those feelings away as the conversation at the table shifts and Theo visibly relaxes next to me. I listen quietly while I eat, as they talk about Isla’s dance recital, the store, and Chris’ recent work trip. I find myself laughing along to Jimmy’s stories and Mason’s antics, and Cynthia hushing my protests as she scoops seconds onto my plate. I join in conversation with ease as they effortlessly include me, even when they ask me questions about my job. They don’t dwell or put any pressure on me when my answers are short and I try to deflect. And whenever I do feel the tension creeping back in, one look into Theo’s soft brown eyes pulls me right back out of it.
On the drive home, I lay my head back against the seat, looking out at the water in the darkness, feeling content, relaxed, and the complete opposite as I did on the drive there.
“So how many worms do you think Mason has in his pocket?” I ask with a smile.
Theo laughs at the memory of him subtly showing us his dirt and worm filled jacket pocket before they left. “Enough to give Heather a stroke, I’m sure.”
I chuckle as Theo pulls into the driveway, and I let the peaceful view of his house pull me deeper into this relaxed state. And as we head inside, each carrying containers of food that Cynthia sent home with us, I’m surprised that the feeling continues to linger.
Theo takes the containers from me when we reach the kitchen, and places them in the fridge. When he closes the door, he turns to me and a beat of awkward silence passes between us.
“Uh,” he runs his fingers through his hair as he drops his gaze from mine, “I gotta get to bed.”
I nod. “Ok.”
He gives me a lopsided smile, but as soon as he starts to turn away from me, my hand snaps out to grab his arm and stop him.
Theo’s eyes widen slightly as they meet mine, and we stand in silence with my hand grasping his arm.
I don’t even know what to say, or why I did that. I just… need him to be here, with me, for a moment longer.
I just feel safe with him.
“Thank you,” I say quietly. “For today.”
Theo nods softly, and his eyes briefly drop to my lips, before they flick back up to look into my eyes again. “Anytime.”
And I don’t know what to make of the sudden lurch in my heart at that small movement.
I reluctantly drop my hand from his arm and step backwards, keeping my gaze locked on his as his eyes flick between mine, and his chest rises and falls with a breath.
“Night,” he says in a soft voice.
“Night,” I say, and it comes out almost in a whisper.
As he disappears into the dark hallway, I stay where I am, listening to the creaking of the steps as he heads upstairs.
Eventually, I release a sigh, and head into my room to lie on the bed and stare up at the ceiling, like I do every sleepless night.
I have no idea what that was. And I have no idea why it felt so good.
But I don’t get to explore that thought any more, because the next thing I know… I’m asleep.
And it’s the best sleep I’ve had in months.