Chapter 15 – The Carnival Orgy
Thursday – September 28, 2023
Ash
“Are you sure this is the right place?” asked Chastity as we made our way down the dimly lit stairs.
I nodded, but realized she probably couldn’t see me with the flickering lights. “According to Nigel, the old train station should be right down these steps.”
“Why would you listen to Nigel?”
“He helped me plan the whole thing. And he said this location would be perfect. He built it in the 1870s...”
“The 1870s? No wonder it looks like the ceiling is about to collapse.”
I laughed. The craftmanship seemed sound to me. “It’s going to be perfect, trust me.”
“I do trust you. I just don’t trust Nigel.”
“It’s going to be great. And Nigel was so excited to have it here.” At least, I think he was excited. We’d communicated exclusively through fax. But he’d sent a lot of smiley faces.
“So why was Nigel building train stations in the 1870s?” asked Chastity.
I’d gotten the whole story from Nigel via fax too. “Because he owned a train company. He got interested in trains when they crossed Panama on the Panama Railroad with the first Japanese embassy to the USA. So Nigel became a robber baron. And at the time with big beards and hats in style, it was easy for Tanner to look much older. So he pretended to be Nigel’s father for a sprint and helped him get funding. Wait, I have a picture.” We stopped on the stairs and I pulled out the sheet of paper Nigel had faxed me when I hounded him for more details.
There was a scanned image of a tile mosaic of Nigel. He was wearing an old-fashioned suit, top hat, and had a big full beard. A peasant was on one knee in front of him, polishing his shoes. And a beautiful girl in a very low-cut train conductor outfit was lighting his cigar for him.
“I guess that vaguely does look like Nigel...” Chastity’s voice trailed off as she squinted at the photo.
“It’s definitely him. Either way, the train station hasn’t been used in over a century. Not since they fled to Europe to escape DODO in the late 1800s. It was replaced by Grand Central Station.”
“No wonder. Because Grand Central Station isn’t underground. Seriously, why are we going so deep?”
“I think they were worried about bombs or something.”
“What?!”
Yeah...I wasn’t sure that was right. I needed to learn more history since I was dating an ancient being. I ignored her and pushed the heavy doors open at the bottom of the stairs. The bright lights were almost blinding. I blinked until I could see the huge old train station. It actually looked a lot like Grand Central Station with the vaulted ceilings. And I wondered if they’d just made an above-ground replica after Nigel and Tanner fled. The craftsmanship down here really was impeccable.
But that wasn’t even the best part. It was the way it was decorated for a carnival. Everything was laid out in a circle so I could see all the games and rides from the entrance. It was freaking perfect. Just what I’d imagined! There was a carousel, Ferris wheel, tons of game booths. And beautiful lights were strung from the ceiling 100 feet above.
And the place was already packed. Music was playing and bells were ringing from the different games. The energy was electric. I could even see a few people making out while waiting in lines for rides. We were going to get so many matches!
“Wow,” said Chastity. “I take it all back. This truly is perfect.”
I nodded. I just hoped Nigel didn’t do anything weird. His final fax indicated that he had a “wonderful surprise planned.” And when I’d asked for more details, he’d stopped faxing back. But if he’d somehow pulled all this off, maybe I had nothing to worry about.
“You okay?” asked Chastity. “You look a little pale. Don’t tell me you’re suddenly scared of Ferris wheels? They’re nothing like centipedes.”
I laughed. “No, I’m not scared of Ferris wheels. That would be ridiculous.”
She smiled.
“But I look okay, right? Like this is a normal carnival outfit?” I gestured to my cutoff jean shorts and white tank top. I’d always imagined going to a carnival with a boyfriend I never had in high school. This seemed like the epitome of romance. And I wanted Tanner to have a good time. I’d told him to meet us here. I wanted to surprise him. I wanted him to love everything.
“We’re literally wearing the same thing,” she said.
We literally were not. Yes, she was wearing a white tank top and jean shorts too. But her jean shorts were way shorter. She was wearing sky high heels instead of sneakers. And she’d forgotten a bra.
“I can’t wait to go in the dunk tank to show off my nips,” said Chastity. “When’s Tanner coming?”
“He should be here any minute...” I turned around and ran right into him.
Tanner laughed and caught my arms so I wouldn’t fall over. “Are you stalking me, baby?”
I was smiling so hard it hurt. “ You’re clearly stalking me .”
He leaned down, silencing my protests with a kiss.
Chastity whistled.
I laughed and pulled back.
“Nice to see you,” Tanner said to Chastity.
He was wearing one of his classic Society-esque suits. This one was swirled with colors that matched the array of colors of the carnival perfectly.
“So you decided to ditch the Raven persona?” He reached out and gently tucked a loose strand of my red hair behind my ear. “You look beautiful.”
He was the only person that had ever made me feel that way. Putting on a dark wig had given me the confidence to actually talk to him. But I didn’t need a wig anymore. “I don’t need to be Raven, seductress of the night, anymore. I have a boyfriend, thank you very much. ”
“Indeed you do.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me back in close.
“And I really hate worrying that I’m going to slip up and accidentally reveal my true identity.”
“Would you prefer if I went by Tanner instead of Ryder here?”
“Yes.” That would make my life so much easier. But also… There was something about him being Ryder Storm in his fancy suits that really did something to me. I think it was the whole reason the Society worked for finding matches as well as it did. Everything felt forbidden at their events. Sinful. Who wouldn’t want a night like this to last forever? “But will you still wear your fancy suits?”
“Of course. That’s all me.” He smiled down at me.
“Good.”
“So...where do we start?” asked Tanner. “I can’t wait to see what romantic things you came up with. Maybe we should take a ride on the Ferris wheel?”
“I absolutely want to do that. But first, we need to get some food. I’m starving.”
We walked toward the concessions.
Chastity stopped at the first booth. “Ooooh cotton candy. Yum.” She grabbed one off the stand.
I stared at the sign in horror. Oyster flavored? What the heck? “I told Nigel to make it sexy. Why would he do oyster flavored?”
“It’s delicious,” said Chastity.
Ew.
Tanner laughed. “Well, you said make it sexy. And oysters are an aphrodisiac. ”
Still. Who infused cotton candy with that? I shook my head. I hoped Nigel hadn’t taken everything in a weird direction. His note about a surprise was starting to make me very nervous now. But then I got distracted when I saw the sign for the next booth. “Ah! Funnel cake!” I ran over to the stand and picked up the paper plate. This was one of my requests too. It was my favorite carnival fare.
I took a huge bite. Mmm. Delicious. It was a lot sweeter than I remembered, though. I glanced at the game that was set up next to the funnel cake booth. SQUIRT RACE was lit up in neon green above the game. I cringed. I wished Nigel had called it something else. Squirt race too easily brought up nightmares of what I’d done to Tanner’s bed…
“Hmm.” Tanner’s hot breath tickled my ear. “Squirt race? I bet you’d win that.”
I elbowed him in his side.
“Hey, Raven,” someone said behind us.
I turned around to see Cole standing there.
Oh my God, Cole . I’d totally forgotten about our date. And blowing Dr. Lyons on the side of the road. And Cole filming it. And I really didn’t want to go into all those details with Tanner! Gah what is my life?!
“I like the red hair,” Cole said. “It suits you.” But his eyes scanned my whole body. And the way he was looking at me made me think he liked a lot more than my hair.
“It’s my natural color. And my real name is Ash.”
Tanner cleared his throat .
“Ryder Storm,” Cole said. “Didn’t see you there.” He glanced between us again and his eyes settled back on Tanner. “I challenge you to a squirt race, man.”
Tanner shook his head. “Call me Tanner. And I’m not interested in the prize.”
What was the prize? I looked behind the booth and my eyes grew round. There was a half-naked woman chained up back there. She looked very ready to get on her knees, if you know what I mean. I didn’t realize the prizes would be half-nude people. Nigel was kinky AF.
But I was glad Tanner wasn’t interested in that prize.
Cole shrugged. “Me either. How about we make things interesting? Let’s make Ash the prize instead.” He winked at me.
What?! I took a huge bite of my funnel cake. Because food calmed my nerves. But the sugary sweetness of this just seemed to make me more laser focused on what Cole had just said.
Tanner put his arm around my shoulders. “Not happening. We’re dating.”
“Well, yeah,” Cole said. “We’re all kind of dating. Ash and I went on a date just the other night. Remember?” He smiled at me.
I shoved more funnel cake into my mouth so I couldn’t respond.
“No,” Tanner said. “I meant dating dating. She’s my girlfriend.”
“Oh.” Cole raised his eyebrows. “When did that happen? Because like I said...we just went on date.”
“Recently,” I said, practically choking on my funnel cake. “Very recently. No crossover. End of story. ”
Tanner’s fingers dug into my shoulder a little harder.
As we were talking, two other guys stepped up to the squirt race. They dropped their pants and started jerking off. I’d wanted it to be a peeing competition, but Nigel had told me that was inappropriate. I wasn’t sure why. I had this idea in my head that watching two guys pissing in the wind would be really funny. But them jerking off was way sexier, so it probably fit the theme better.
One guy started to cum in the hole and his boat moved. He beat the second guy just as the second boat started to move. There was a dinging noise and then a guy from behind the funnel cake stand walked over to the squirt race. He picked up a funnel cake from behind the hole. It was completely drenched in skeet. The funnel cake guy placed it on the counter of his stand.
I stared down at my funnel cake. Ah! I’m eating a stranger’s skeet! No wonder it tasted so sweet. Because the skeet tasted like cookies. Like cookie funnel cake.
“Oh, now that looks even better than the cotton candy.” Chastity lifted up a plate and licked the skeet right off of it. “So sweet,” she said, even though hers didn’t taste of cookies.
“Sorry,” I awkwardly mumbled to Tanner and tossed mine in the trash. Nigel was the kinkiest little man I’d ever met. How the heck did he come up with this stuff? I grabbed Tanner’s hand and pulled him away from Cole and the skeet funnel cake.
I breathed a sigh of relief when Cole didn’t follow us. “Sorry,” I said again as we started to walk through some of the various games and booths. “By the way, I never hooked up with Cole. Chastity was just saying that during the interrogation because we thought you were a deranged serial killer.”
Tanner didn’t respond, but he kept his arm firmly wrapped around my shoulders. Especially when we passed by the ring toss booth. Karl was standing there with his fully erect cock out, waiting for a ring to be tossed in his direction so he could catch it on his penis.
“Pass,” said Chastity as she licked more skeet off her funnel cake. “I’ve already had Karl.”
But I was barely paying attention. “What’s that horrid smell?” I sniffed the air and scrunched up my nose.
“Um...probably the milk?” Tanner pointed a few booths down.
Oh no. I hurried over to the booth. The dildos were set up perfectly, but the slippery puddle of white liquid on the ground was the wrong consistency. “I told Nigel that I wanted them to throw balls at dildos and the winner would get covered in milk. And I added a winky face. So he’d know I meant skeet. Not actual milk. Is he really drenching people in dairy?” I scrunched my nose up again. It definitely smelled of it.
Chastity grabbed a ball. “Let’s see. Fingers crossed I get that skeet skeet.” She tossed a ball and it collided perfectly with a dildo. A guy behind the counter pulled a lever. Chastity looked up and screamed. She dodged out of the way just in time not to get completely drenched with a bucket of warm milk.
What. The. Fuck? Nigel turned my peeing contest into a skeet race, but then he’d put actual milk at the milk bottle toss? Where was that little man’s head ?
A few women jumped by us on workout balls. The balls were shaped like giant ball sacks with dildos sticking out. They were supposed to be holding the dildo for balance while they raced in the “sack” race. But Nigel had set it up where the dildos were inside of them. Oh wow. One moment Nigel lost the plot but then he came back with a bang. #LovedHim.
“Where the heck did you come up with this stuff?” asked Tanner.
I shrugged. “It was the perfect melding of two minds. Nigel always seems two steps ahead.” Or five sour milk steps backwards, depending on the booth.
“If you say so.” Tanner looked around. He seemed confused by some of the games.
It must have been because he had never been to a modern-day carnival before.
“Look, your new recruit.” Chastity pointed over to the Orgasm Thruster. The construction girl I’d found at the photoshoot was bent over moaning as guys took turns thrusting into her. A moan meter above her determined who gave her the best thrust based on how loudly she moaned. It dinged after a particularly hard thrust. Ah! I knew the guys at the Society would love her bent over!
I looked up at Tanner. He’d definitely win the thrusting contest. Because he’d turn her into a fireball and make her scream in pain, making the moan meter go off the rails. Eek.
“Raven, Raven, Raven,” said a deep voice behind us. “You’ve been holding out on us.”
I turned around to see Diablo staring down at me. “My name is actually Ash. ”
He gave me a cocky smirk. “I’ll call you whatever you want, baby. I’ve always wanted to fuck a redhead.”
Angel cleared his throat. The cross tattoo under his eye could be made out better under all the lights. “What my brother meant is that we’d love to take you out to dinner sometime.”
Diablo shook his head. “No, what I meant is that I want to play Orgasm Thruster with you.” He gestured over to the game.
“Nope,” Tanner said firmly. “We were just on our way to find some food.” He pulled me away before the twins had a chance to respond. He mumbled something unintelligible under his breath.
“Totes jealous,” whispered Chastity.
I smiled as we walked through the carnival with Tanner’s arm around my shoulders. He really did seem jealous. This was like all my high school dreams coming true. Going to a carnival with my boyfriend who wanted to punch anyone who looked at me? I was in heaven.
“Here we go,” said Tanner as we stopped in front of the sandwich stand.
Chastity quickly ordered one. And then Tanner ordered one too.
“Um...” my voice trailed off. “Are you sure you want that ?”
“Yeah, why?” he asked.
How could I word this eloquently? But I didn’t get a chance because two men came out from behind the counter with their erect cocks in between two sandwich buns. They were holding the plate underneath of it, offering the perfect cock sandwich .
I giggled.
Tanner made a face.
“Schlongin’ in your sandos!” I yelled.
“Nope,” said Tanner and took a step back.
Chastity separated her sandwich bun and frowned down at her sando. “This is more of a schlort than a schlong.”
“Excuse me?” the guy said.
Chastity laughed. “You’re acting like you’re packing an elephant trunk. Shoo.” She shooed him away with her hands. He dejectedly went back behind the counter. And Tanner’s untouched schlong followed.
“Is there any actual food here?” asked Tanner.
Chastity pointed over to the candy apple booth. There were a bunch of guys standing around tenting their pants.
Eh. I wasn’t sure that counted as actual food either. “Those are Viagra-infused candy-coated apples. And I designed it to be right next to the glory hole wall.”
“Ooooh, say more,” said Chastity.
We walked around to the front of the wall to see. There were a bunch of cartoon characters with holes in their nether regions. Huge erect dicks were sticking through the holes.
“Now those are some nice schlongs!” Chastity looked so excited.
Zico walked up to us.
Tanner glared at him.
“Ash, want to judge a size contest between me and my teammates at the glory hole wall? You can fuck the winner. Which will be me of course.” He whistled “Hey, lads! ”
Tanner pulled me away again while Zico was distracted waiting for his team.
“Why is everyone trying to bang you?” he grumbled.
I’d never seen Tanner this agitated before. “Because it’s a carnival orgy.”
He shook his head and laughed. “I don’t think that’s why.”
“Of course it is. I did an amazing job.”
He smiled down at me. He lowered his lips to my ear. “They’re trying to get with you because you’re the most beautiful girl here.”
I felt my cheeks flushing.
“They’re trying to bang her because your girlfriend is hot,” said Chastity. “Maybe you should let her explore. It’ll get you one step closer to being free if she finds her match. She could probably just declare a tie in the size contest and fuck the whole team. Look at how hot they all are.” She gestured back at the glory hole wall which was currently being filled by the team. “Which is your favorite, Ash?”
What the hell is she doing? I didn’t want to fuck a whole soccer team. I just wanted Tanner. “Could you even imagine me walking up there and being stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey?” Oh God. What did I just say?!
“Absolutely not,” said Tanner firmly.
“Then at least let her ride the carousel.” Chastity pointed over to the carousel. That was not at all a traditional carousel.
“No. I can literally see a dick sticking out of that bench. Is there a guy trapped under there? ”
I stifled a laugh. Why yes there was. Well, not trapped. He’d asked for it. The carousel was filled with dildos and real guys sitting there erect.
Chastity sighed. “Fine. Will you at least let us ride the scrambler?”
Tanner looked over at it. “Well there doesn’t appear to be any dicks…”
“No!” I yelled. “I’m not riding that. Chastity, it’s meant to create random hookups. See those colorful squares on the ground? When the ride stops, you have to hook up with whoever is on the matching color to where you land. I can’t blow a rando. I have a boyfriend .” What was she not getting here? “Let’s ride the Gravitron instead.”
Tanner eyed me suspiciously. “What’s the sexy twist in there?”
“There isn’t one. It’s just the best ride ever. Why would you assume it’s something perverted?”
He laughed. “Because of literally everything else here. I thought for sure you’d have to mount someone and then let gravity do all the work.”
I pictured the Gravitron starting and the gravity pressing my back firmly against the wall. Climbing on top of someone like that. Plastered together hard. “Damn that sounds fun. Why didn’t I think of that?” I shook my head. “Anyway, not everything is perverted.”
I started pointing out more normal carnival fare. “There’s normal chocolate covered bananas. And corn dogs.”
“They’re both shaped like penises,” said Tanner with a laugh .
“Total coincidence.” Or maybe not. Had Nigel and I discussed that? Hundreds of faxes back and forth had gotten a bit confusing. “Either way, Frankie’s booth isn’t perverted at all.” I pointed to it.
Frankie was manning a guessing booth featuring one of the pictures of Tanner and Rosalie at the Emerald Oasis. We’d blurred out a few of the faces, including Tanner’s face. And people were being asked to guess the identity of the people whose faces had been blurred out. It was the perfect way to get some answers without alerting the Society of a potential serial killer loose amongst us.
A chill ran down my spine and I turned around. But there was no one standing there asking to fuck me this time. I shook away the thought and turned back around. “Hopefully some people will have correct answers. Let’s go see if Frankie’s found anyone...”
“What do you think?” asked Nigel, popping out of nowhere.
I jumped. I guess he was the one that had sent a chill down my spine. “It’s perfect, Nigel. It really came together.”
“Didn’t it?” He smiled. “And speaking of coming together...I can’t wait for my special surprise.”
“Are you saying cumming or coming?” asked Chastity.
“You’re just saying the same word twice, Chastain.”
Chastity sighed. “Stop calling me that. You know my name is Chastity.”
Nigel rolled his eyes.
“Oh, and Nigel’s booth isn’t perverted either,” I said, trying to break up their bickering. “He’s running a tasteful photobooth.” I looked over at a few of his stunning artistic portraits on display. He was really quite talented.
Tanner nodded. “A new hobby, I see?”
“Yes, Master Tanner. I’ve been using my time off to perfect it. And some time on.” He winked at me.
Why was he winking at me?
“Are you ready for my special surprise?” Nigel asked and beamed up at me.
“Um...I don’t know...”
“Correct answer. No one is ready. Yet everyone is ready at the same time.”
God, what did he do?
“Let me photograph you.” He lifted his camera and snapped a picture of me before I had a chance to respond. “And Chastain, if I must.” He made a face and snapped a picture with his camera without even turning in her direction. Like he hated her face too much to view it even through a lens.
“Stop being weird.” Chastity pulled me away. “Why was he trying to get us naked?”
I laughed. “He wasn’t. His portraits were of fully clothed people.”
She shuddered. “If you say so.”
“And why were you trying to get me to hook up with a bunch of randos?” I whispered.
“To make Tanner jealous of course. A jealous man is always the sexiest man. #FlirtTillHeSquirts.”
“But he can’t squirt,” I hissed. “Or he’ll burn my skin.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry.” She cleared her throat when Tanner rejoined us. “Come on, guys. We need to go to the Ferris wheel. It’s the most romantic.”
We passed by a bobbing for dicks station on the way. Some were dildos. But some were real. Oh my. Ouch.
“There’s a little too much biting going on there if you ask me,” said Tanner.
Yeah. I was thinking the same thing.
“Pass,” said Chastity. “I don’t wanna mess up my makeup.” But then she saw the face painting station up ahead where guys were cumming on girls’ faces. Chastity looked so excited. “I’m going to wait in line. You guys can go ahead to the Ferris wheel.”
I guess she wasn’t so upset about messing up her makeup anymore...
“Finally some alone time,” said Tanner.
I leaned into him as we stopped in the line for the Ferris wheel. Pink Ocelot was standing there looking up at the Ferris wheel. His hair seemed extra big today.
“Hey,” said Tanner.
Pink Ocelot smiled at us. “I’m surprised that a silver member could come up with such a great event.”
“Thanks?” I think? It seemed like he was dissing me at the same time as complimenting me.
“My girlfriend is loving it.”
I laughed.
He looked confused by my reaction.
Oh. I’d forgotten. Apparently he wasn’t gay. I’d thought he was joking about having a girlfriend before. Or maybe he still was? “And where is this girlfriend of yours? ”
He pointed up to the Ferris wheel. “She should be off the ride soon. Wait! There she is!”
The Ferris wheel was spinning and a cart had just dropped to the bottom with a girl completely naked riding the oldest Ababio brother I’d met the other day. The girl turned to Ocelot and blew him a kiss. Then she moved her hands about a foot apart as the cart went back up in the air.
What the hell is happening right now?
“And it looks like you found some impressive new members,” said Ocelot. “Well done. We always need fresh meat. I’m so in love with you right now.”
Huh? “You do realize that your girlfriend is currently getting railed by that dude, right?”
“Of course.” Ocelot pointed over to the giant circular swing set going round and round.
It was set up for couples to have some fun. You were supposed to try to toss your boyfriend your key. And then you’d go to a private room to bang.
“He caught her keys when she tried to toss them to me on the swinger ride.” He shrugged. “Whoever catches your key gets you. And I’m fast, but I’m not a great catcher.”
I didn’t realize that single people were going to be key-snatching. And for some reason all I could think about was a catcher in the sense of someone getting fucked hard from behind. Which Ocelot didn’t? Because he was straight? This man was too confusing. Fortunately the ride ended and I was able to pull Tanner into an empty cart to escape .
“Blowjobs are encouraged,” the guy manning the Ferris wheel said as he closed the metal gated door behind us.
I felt my cheeks flush. I cleared my throat as the ride started to move. “Seriously, what is up with that Ocelot guy? Because I definitely thought he was gay.”
“Pink Ocelot and his girlfriend are swingers.”
“Oh.” Ooooh. I craned my neck to see the giant circular swing set. It made sense that swinging couples would gravitate to that. The title pretty much called to them. I heard moaning and looked down at the cart beneath ours. I could just make out a guy with his fingers buried in a girl’s hair before they disappeared from view again. I crossed my legs and turned to Tanner.
“What other romantic rides did you have Nigel set up?” he asked and looked out the side of the cart at the amazing view of the whole carnival. “Wasn’t this whole idea inspired by a rollercoaster? Where’s that?”
“Eh. We went back and forth a lot. But we couldn’t figure out a way to make it sexy. Nigel was hellbent on damsel in distressing women. And it all felt very dangerous.”
“Damsel in distressing?” He raised his eyebrow.
“He just wanted to tie girls on the tracks and have them almost get runover. Guys were supposed to swoop in and be their knights in shining armor. But it all seemed like it could go terribly wrong. Too many squished livers left on the tracks if you ask me.”
Tanner laughed.
“The kissing booth on the other hand…that was quite easy to make sexy.” I pointed down to it. Instead of a kissing booth, it was actually a blowjob booth. It wa s being run by Isadora and Giovanna, the soapy shower lesbians. They were rather enthusiastically blowing every dude who walked up to the booth. Huh. Definitely not lesbians then. They were blowing each guy for 30 seconds. There was big timer behind them.
“Do you really think this carnival is going to help people find true love?” asked Tanner.
“Of course.”
“How?” He seemed even more confused about all the booths than before. Which was surprising. Because I’d literally just shown him the blowjob booth.
“Isn’t it obvious? Nigel and I planned the perfect event. Look around.”
“Uh...I mean, that guy definitely doesn’t look like he’s finding love.” He pointed to a guy running away from the Whack-a-Dick station. “Wait. Whack-a-dick? Dear lord, why?”
Hm. Now that I saw it in person, I could see why it would be scary. “But hey, that other guy looks like he really likes it…” my voice trailed off when the guy started crying in pain as a girl hit him in the nuts with a rubber mallet. Okay, yeah, fair. That was a terrible idea. The guy ran away screaming.
“And I don't know what’s going on at Ball Sack Darts,” added Tanner, “but the ambulance next to it tells me that was a bad idea.”
Oh no! I put my hand over my mouth. I think something must have gotten lost via fax on that one. The booth was currently shut down, and I cringed at the thought of a destroyed ball sack hanging out in that ambulance. I honestly didn’t even remember what that was supposed to be .
“And what’s going on at the Zipper?” Tanner pointed to one of my favorite rides.
There were people barfing in trashcans right next to it. I cringed. The ride itself was fun. But now that I thought about it...people had barfed a lot after riding it in high school.
“Maybe it shouldn’t have been so close to the cheesesteak stand?” asked Tanner. “Was there something weird in the cheese or something?”
I shook my head. “No, that was one of the normal things. I just love a good cheesesteak. And Nigel insisted on meat sandwiches. The more meat the merrier. His words, not mine. But yeah...it’s definitely too close to the zipper.” People were eating and then riding. “It’s not my fault that people aren’t waiting the appropriate thirty minutes to digest their food though. Everyone knows the rules.”
Tanner raised his eyebrow at me.
“Okay, fine. There were a few clunkers. But everyone else is definitely finding love. Look at the dunking booth.” I pointed out the side of the cart.
Chastity was sitting there in her little white tank top as guys lined up to try to dunk her. “In a second she’s gonna be on her knees finding love with one of those gentlemen suitors.”
“How?”
“Because you have to blow whoever dunks you.”
“Yeah, no, I got that. Everyone is blowing everyone all over this carnival. The guy even said it was encouraged on the Ferris wheel. But what good will that do? Blowjobs don’t find true love. It only counts if it’s sex. ”
“Um...say what now?”
“I told you that.”
“What?! You definitely did not tell me that.”
“I definitely did.”
I shook my head. “Absolutely not. There was no mention of P in V, man.”
Tanner laughed. “I guess it’s possible I used the term hooking up?”
“Well that was entirely too vague! My mind went straight to blowies!”
“I can see that. It has to be sex, though.”
“That would have been very useful information before I planned this whole thing, Tanner. Damn it, I need to get off this thing so I can fax Nigel. Where is the closest fax machine?” And seriously, why had Nigel gone along with all this when he knew it had to be sex? Damn that little man.
Tanner laughed again. “Why don’t you just go talk to him?”
“I don’t know!” I threw my hands in the air. “Because I’m a faxing bitch now!”
“Ash...”
“I need to fix it. How do I get off this thing? We need true love matches, not random blowies at a horned up carnival. What was I thinking? We need to hurry before the carnival is over. Should I just jump? I think I should just jump...”
Tanner grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto his lap. “Baby.”
I immediately calmed down when he called me that. Well, not really. More like I was immediately distracted from jumping off the side of the Ferris wheel to get my fax on.
He reached up and cradled my face in his hands. “I know this is hard.”
I stared into his eyes.
“Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of events that didn’t go as planned. And being around all this...” his voice trailed off and he stared at the couple beneath us participating in a blowie that helped free no one. “I know you want to have a normal boyfriend. Who you can do normal things with...”
“I don’t want normal. I want you.”
He smiled but it looked pained. “We could barely participate in anything you set up...”
“But it wasn’t for us. I mean, not in that way. I set this up to get matches. So that we can be together.”
“I know, but...”
“There are no buts. I didn’t want to get railed at the glory hole wall by a soccer team. Or bob for dicks. And I certainly didn’t want a rando’s skeet on my funnel cake. This wasn’t about me. I promise.”
Tanner sighed and dropped his forehead against mine. “You were so excited about today though.”
“Yeah. Because I got to go to a carnival with my boyfriend. This is everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“Straddling someone on a Ferris wheel?”
“Yes. I’ve had dreams of doing exactly this back in high school. Not blowing someone. I’d never even been kissed. Jumping from never kissing someone to getting on my knees in a Ferris wheel was too big of a leap.” I wrapped my arms behind his neck. “ This is what I wanted. ”
“Well, we can do more than just this .” He leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine.
I pulled him closer. God I loved this man’s kisses.
His hands slid down my waist and his fingers dug into my hips.
There was so much the two of us couldn’t do. But honestly? None of it mattered right now. Because he kissed me like no one had ever kissed me before. This was so much better than my high school fantasies. I could die right now and be happy. Just like this. With the wind in my hair and the sounds of the carnival below us.
One of his hands slid to the button of my jean shorts. He made quick work of the button and zipper.
“Tanner...” my protest turned to a moan as he slid two fingers inside of me. I knew anyone could see us. But everyone else was hooking up on the ride. And you’d have to really look to see Tanner’s hand down the front of my shorts. Besides, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit turned on from seeing all the blowjobs at the carnival booths. And some sex. Maybe it wouldn’t be a total failure... I grinded against his hand and he groaned.
“Look at the couple beneath us,” he whispered in my ear.
They’d just come into view again. Her head was no longer bobbing up and down on his cock. He had her bent over. She was gripping the metal grate and he was slamming into her from behind.
“Pretend that’s us,” Tanner whispered and bit down on my earlobe.
Fuck .
“My fingers digging into your hips.” He held me in place on his lap as he curled his fingers inside of me. “My hard cock pressing against your wetness. Teasing you. And then thrusting into you hard, stretching you wide.”
I stared at the couple, picturing Tanner behind me. Slamming into me from behind.
“You’ve been making me jealous all day.” He slipped another finger inside of me, stretching me, just like he said he was picturing doing with his cock.
I hadn’t been trying to make him jealous. But if this was the reward I got for doing it, I’d have to start making him jealous more often.
“And now I’m going to fuck you from behind for the whole carnival to see.” He moved his hand faster.
God. I started matching the rhythm of his fingers. Shamelessly riding him.
“You like watching them, baby?” he whispered into my ear.
I moaned. They’d disappeared from view, but he knew I did. He knew me better than I knew myself.
His thumb started circling my clit. “You like pretending it’s my cock punishing you?”
“Tanner...”
“Keep riding me.” He moved his free hand, grabbing a fistful of my hair.
I arched my back just like the other girl had been doing. The pain somehow mixed with the pleasure.
“Baby, you’re so wet for me.” He moved his lips back to my ear. “I’m fucking you so hard from behind. The cart is swinging on its hinges. Creaking. Everyone on the Ferris wheel is looking at you. ”
What was he trying to do to me?
“See how hard I’m fucking you?” He tilted my head down.
I looked down and saw the couple again.
“You’re pressing so hard against the grates. Matching each thrust. Riding my cock.” He pressed down hard on my clit.
Fuck.
“Pretend it was my cum you were licking off your funnel cake.” His fingers moved faster. “And you were straddling my cock on the carousel. And I was making you moan at the Orgasm Thruster.” He moved his wrist even faster. “And your ass was pressed against my cock at the glory hole wall. And that I was drenching your pretty little face at the face painting booth. Your greedy mouth drank down every ounce.” He titled his fingers, hitting the spot that made me lose my mind. “And now you’re going to come for me as everyone watches me fuck you on the Ferris wheel. I can feel you, baby. I can feel how desperate you are for my cock.” He pressed down on my clit again.
I moaned as I came around his fingers.
“Just like that, baby. With me deep inside of you. Everyone watching.” He bit down on my earlobe again.
I kept riding his hand. The couple was out of view again. But I could picture it being us so clearly. I could picture everything he said so clearly.
Tanner kissed the side of my neck and lifted his lips from my skin.
We both caught our breath with his fingers still buried in my wetness .
I stared into his eyes. “I mean, I’d take that over giving a blowjob any day.”
He laughed and slowly slid his fingers out of me. And he put them in his mouth, sucking off the juices. “Now this is what they should be serving at one of the booths.”
I swallowed hard. Everything he did was so freaking sexy.
He slowly zipped my shorts back up. “Are you done trying to jump off the Ferris wheel now?”
“You’ve sufficiently calmed me down, yes. But after all these screw ups, I’m starting to get really worried about Nigel’s surprise. So maybe you should just do that again.”
“Surprise?”
“Yeah, he said he had a wonderful surprise planned.”
Tanner looked out at the carnival. “Well, it might have something to do with that train that just pulled up...”
A train had just entered the station. The doors slowly parted. And then two clowns stepped out. They were wearing white and blue leather masks. One had a zipper over his mouth. And the other had a white harness. And both their dicks were out. Was that Beef and Biff? Honestly it didn’t even matter. Because they were clowns. And their penises were out.
And I was scared of clowns. And hence clown penises.
“Not clown penises,” I said in horror. Why would Nigel think that was sexy?! I screamed as more clowns started flooding out of the trains with their dicks out .
And apparently I wasn’t the only one scared of clown penises. Because the carnival erupted into complete chaos. People started screaming and slipping in milk. And cum. But mostly spoiled milk.
People jizzing in the squirt race turned and jizzed all over people running. The bouncing sack race balls rolled around, knocking people over in the carnage. For some reason the clowns started chasing people with sandwich buns. And guys with Viagra-boners ran around screaming to get away from them. Were they trying to catch schlongs and schlorts for the sandos? Why were they doing that?! Gah!
One of the clowns turned and made direct eye contact with me.
I screamed and threw my arms around Tanner.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’ve got you.”
I was the world’s worst matchmaker. How was I ever going to free him from his curse?