Chapter 14
Ashley
I blink, my phone ringing slowly waking me up, and I groan as I reach my nightstand and move my hand around trying to find the thing to turn it off and hopefully not touch a cockroach again like last week.
I grip my phone, very happy that I didn’t touch a bug again and blink before squinting at the name.
Doc
I turn my head instantly to the other side of the bed and find it empty, and I swallow hard as last night comes back to me.
I did something I swore I’d never do again, I slept with my husband, not once, not twice, but four freaking times, when our emotions were completely off the charts after the revelations I let out and he tried to…
I sigh as I answer my phone and mumble, “Yeah?”
“That’s one way to answer the phone, sweetheart,” Doc rasps, his voice sounding raw.
“You woke me up,” I admit, “Is Cole okay?”
When Scar messaged that he would grab Cole and keep him for the night, I instantly agreed. I was in no state to have him with me, not after what had happened. I was so angry with Tyler, so upset, hurt, and worst of all, scared that he could do that to our son, to me.
He messed up, not me, he is the one who cheated. He is the one who didn’t try to confront me when I was struggling to live day by day, and yet he is the one who wanted to end it all?
Just like that.
Anger spears through me again, especially knowing he’s gone, his presence definitely not in this apartment.
Doc replies, “He’s good, still got a little bit of an attitude, especially after this morning.”
I frown as I sit up, ensuring my sheets stay across my chest.
I may only be on the phone with Doc, but I still feel out of place talking to him naked and sore.
“Trigger has gone for a ride, Ash,” he admits and my stomach drops as he says, “He said goodbye to Cole this morning, which didn’t go down very well.
He doesn’t understand, especially when it’s his eleventh birthday next week, but yeah, I told Trigger to take a ride after yesterday, he needed to go. ”
My eyes water as my chin wobbles as I croak, “So he gets to ride and leave the fallout while I’m stuck in it when it was me who was raped, who couldn’t save our child?”
“Ashley,” Doc whispers, “he tried to kill himself because he knew just how badly he messed up, he couldn’t live with the guilt. He had to go.”
I shake my head as I angrily wipe away a few tears, and a shirt and a note at the end of the bed catches my attention, and I suck in a breath.
“Look,” Doc says when I don’t say anything, my eyes focused on the shirt, the one Tyler was wearing yesterday, “You are family, as much as you don’t think you are, and you are under club protection, so it is time for you to come home where you belong.
Pack your shit, and tomorrow the prospects will collect it and take it back to your and Cole’s home. ”
“I don’t think so!” I instantly snap, the tee and note going to the back burner for a moment, “I am perfectly fine where I am!”
“What with cockroaches?” he asks, and I growl at the nerve of him.
This was the only place I could get at short notice and I’m trying to find a new apartment, everything is just so damn expensive.
Doc sighs, “Look, Ash, I’m not fighting with you over this.
You are coming home whether you like it or not, and you can hate me all you want, but I need you safe, Trigger needs you safe, so pack your shit, and while you are at it, you will end things with that fucker boyfriend of yours.
Dirty put him in the database, and the man has given you a fake name, he doesn’t fucking exist.”
You have got to be kidding me….
My mind runs wild as anger sears through me, not just because he’s trying to run my life suddenly when he sat back and watched my husband screw another woman repeatedly. Even ignored my calls when Cole was ill, but because he also looked into my boyfriend, who apparently is a fake.
Is that why I always felt off with him?
I shake my head before snapping, “You have no right to order me around especially when you haven’t been there for me, none of the club has.
Watching Tyler screw another woman, hiding it from me!
I am not family, I never have been, the lies over the years complete truth of that!
This is my life, not yours, so get fucked! ”
Doc’s quiet for a moment before he burns all the bridges between us he tried to build as he states, “Either move back home or don’t see Cole again, your choice.”
That said, he hangs up, and my breathing picks up, anger taking hold.
He’s dead. I’m going to officially kill him because I know he means it, and without a doubt, I will never trust him again after this.
Wiping away more angry tears, I chuck my phone across the room with a screech, not caring if it smashed before I grab the note on the shirt roughly as fury spills over with my tears and I read the words written.
Pixie,
I know you hate me. I know I messed up a lot, broken your trust, broken us, and I know I tried taking the easy way out, leaving you with the fallout, and I will forever struggle with that, struggle with my guilt.
I shouldn’t have touched another woman, fuck, I never should have looked at another woman when I had you on my arm, putting me before everything; your family, your schooling, fucking everything.
I was selfish, a prick, and I couldn’t cope with the feelings I felt when you admitted to what you went through, to losing our angel…
I never watched them, not that it matters now.
That day, I didn’t watch the bitch, I was in my office trying to figure out which shirt to wear for our date, excited to finally have some alone time with you knowing we were drifting apart when Mama called.
She lied to you and got what she wanted out of it.
She wanted me and did everything she could to get me, including having you raped.
I squeeze my eyes tightly as I take a few deep breaths before looking at the paper again, sniffling, not bothering to wipe away my tears as I continue reading.
I had to leave, pixie, not forever but for now, for you, for me, for our son.
I was becoming self-destructive, wanting to believe you cheated, so I didn’t end up feeling like this.
Fuck baby, I did resent you, I did resent Cole.
I felt like we didn’t live before settling down, I felt like we both missed out, yet, I had an affair with a woman I pictured as you just to get affection and pleasure and you decided to date a tool not even our son likes, both not happy, both only wanting each other but I messed up.
We both did in some way really, because you didn’t tell me, you heard that bitch’s lie and ran with it, keeping me in the dark about your trauma, your pain, not that I blame you because like you said, I did have a wandering eye when I shouldn’t have.
I don’t plan on being gone for too long, but, pixie, when I get back, that boyfriend of yours, if he isn’t gone, I will kill him. I want my wife back, my family, and I will do everything I can to get you both back where you belong, with me. I need to try to learn to live with the guilt first.
Get ready, pixie, because you and I are not over, and I will be seeing you real soon.
I love you.
Xxx
I drop the letter back on the bed as my sobs tear from me, pain like no other filling me. I struggle to breathe as it becomes too much as I gasp for air, bending forward, crying my heart out, not knowing what to do, what to even think.
How does he think I can get over what he’s done?
Two hours later, after scheduling an appointment with Dr. Chimes with just me, needing help to sort my emotions out after my mini breakdown from reading Ty’s letter, I walk into the exam room Pauline has stated is mine. I bite my bottom lip as I look around all the equipment.
Tomorrow I start here, and I am in no way near ready, my mind all jumbled up especially with Doc holding Cole against me.
The dick has also kept him out of school, just so I can’t go and get him. So if I want to see my son again, then I need to move back onto club grounds, where my husband had an affair, because the club has the police and judges in their pocket.
Did I mention they’ve lost my trust?
“Hi there,” I hear from behind me, and I turn around and lock eyes with Doc’s old lady, Brittany, her sapphire eyes looking me over.
I knew she worked here, just didn’t know how to explain the whole club situation, a club I want no part of.
“Hi,” I say softly, not wanting to take my anger out on her over her old man.
“I’m Brittany Conners, the nurse here,” she introduces herself as she looks at me with furrowed brows.
I know she recognizes me, she just doesn’t know where from.
“It’s nice to meet you, Brittany,” I reply, “I’m Ashley Davis, and your old man is on my shit list, so I would really appreciate it if you didn’t tell him I’m working here.”
She frowns and asks, “Please tell me you did not screw my husband?”
I scrunch my nose up and gag a little.
“Eww no, god no,” I decline instantly shaking my head and she raises a brow but soon forms an ‘o’ when I state, “He’s like, I would say family but the club sat back and watched my husband cheat.
And then your old man, my so called pseudo brother who I no longer trust called me today and threatened to keep my son from me if I don’t move back onto club property.
You know, where my husband screwed my high school bully right underneath my nose for year–”
I clamp my mouth shut, shutting myself up.
Crap, I literally just word vomited.
“You’re Trigger’s old lady…” she whispers softly, but I shake my head.
“No,” I disagree, “I haven’t worn the leather since I was eighteen and his mama told everyone I was only with him for the patch, so I stopped wearing it. I was his wife, legally speaking, still am his wife but we’re separated.”
She nods in understanding before saying, “I won’t tell Asher that you work here, I promise, and he is most definitely in the doghouse for threatening to take your child from you.
It’s wrong, especially when you’ve already been through so much,” she frowns, “I was told you worked at the convenience store and gave up your studies for Trigger to do his.”
I swallow hard and admit, “I’ve been lying to everyone.
I told them I worked morning through to late evening, but really, I was in college during the day, and Cole used to come with me until Olive agreed to watch him.
I was going to tell Ty, but then I uh… then I was, well, somethings happened and I couldn’t tell him or anyone for that matter. ”
Brit nods softly. “I want to be friends,” she says, “And if you really want to punish Asher for being a jerk, there’s a neglected cat that has been dropped off called Ginger, I’ll help you steal him, I’m really good at that.”
I smile widely at the gleam in her eyes and nod, and she grins, and ease flows between us as she states, “I need to introduce you to Rose, you will love her, I mean your son does so…”
Brit takes a seat on my exam table as she gets out her phone, and I lean against the counter, starting a conversation with her, letting her distract me from my worries.
The club, Doc’s threats, Tyler, Talen who I, not because Doc told me to, but need to dump because apparently he’s not who he says he is and is most likely using me to get to the club.
Cole’s attitude, the divorce, my pain, she gives me a distraction and hope that we will indeed become friends because other than Nat who barely answers her phone, I’ve never had a friend before.
Something tells me I’m going to need them to get through all this.