Chapter 18
Trigger
I groan as I slowly wake up knowing the bed next to me is empty, a bed mind you I had to fucking sneak into last night when she demanded I take the spare bedroom.
She made it perfectly clear she didn’t want me sleeping next to her despite the fact I’ve been gone for five fucking months.
Despite the fact we made yet another baby together and have spent more time apart in the past two and a half years than in our entire relationship.
My year fuck up doesn’t count because at least I still got to hold her at night even if I was riddled with guilt so the fact she thought I’d listen, ha…
I held her all fucking night long with my hand over her bump feeling our second boy move beneath my touch settling something deep inside me.
I turn my head and silently curse seeing she is in fact gone. The tingling sensation I always get when she’s around not currently present and I know she isn’t in the house.
I’d feel her if she was, I always fucking feel her.
“Dad!” Cole shouts, “Ginger tore the table cloth again!”
“Fuck’s sake,” I mutter, “Damn Brit and her bright ideas…”
Guess I should be grateful Ash never went to veterinary school like she played around with when we were thirteen.
“Dad?!” Cole shouts again and I grumble as I get up, my mood plummeting knowing my wife is not here.
I walk into the kitchen twenty minutes later after having a piss and a shower to find Cole sitting on the floor. He sits crossed legged, his elbows on his knees, his chin leant against his linked fingers, staring at the fat ginger cat that’s looking at him back, his tail twitching.
What the fuck?
“Uh, bud, what are you doing?” I ask as I cross my arms over my chest taking in the scene with the torn table cloth sitting between them.
“Trying to psych him out to stop him from tearing up the furniture,” he admits quietly and I swear to fuck, even the cat rolled his eyes at him.
“Okay,” I sigh as I look around the kitchen and see everything from last night’s dinner where my wife did not even speak to me is cleared up and I ask, “Have you had breakfast, son?”
“Mhmm,” he murmurs, “Mama told me not to wake you because you’ve been riding and needed your rest,” my heart flickers at her worry as he looks at me and asks, “Hey Dad, when you ride for so long does it hurt, you know, down there?”
I look at him sharply, his words taking away me looking around the kitchen and the little shit has a gleam in his eyes.
Oh for fuck’s sake…
“Your mama got you to ask that didn’t she?” I confirm and he grins wide and I shake my head.
Fucking woman.
“Where is she?” I ask, hoping he’ll be too distracted with Ginger basically glaring at him not to answer me.
Should I be using my son this way? Probably not, do I care? Nope, not one bit because I want to win my wife back.
“She’s at work,” he says absentmindedly and I frown.
Work? She quit the convenience store, unless she got another job.
“Oh yeah?” I ask casually and he hums and mutters, “It’s a shame Auntie Brit couldn’t convince Mama to steal a dog like she did on her first day at the Vet, this cat is just plain old mean.”
What. The. Fuck.
“Son, I’m popping out for a little while, you good here until Granny comes?” I ask as I’m already grabbing my bike keys and Cole waves at me without breaking eye contact with the damn cat and mutters, “Yeah, yeah, hopefully I can get in this cats head in the meantime.”
Fucking hell…
I shake my head and turn and leave as I grab my phone and message my mama.
Me:
I’ve got to go confront my wife about her now working at the vet office that Dirty kept quiet. Do me a favor and keep an eye out for your grandson, he’s currently trying to do some voodoo shit to try and make Ginger behave.
I press send and mutter, “Trust me to produce a strange fucking kid,” as I walk out of the house and towards my bike, my eyes already going to their names, the angel wings above it for our fallen angel, our baby.
Flame’s old lady Sky had done it for me when I stopped by at the Untamed a few months ago being an amazing artist that she is catching my attention as always.
I need to add our baby’s as well – Tyson…
“I swear if she got a cleaning job while she’s five months pregnant I’m going to spank her ass,” I mutter as I climb on my bike and start it up, revving it.
Time to fucking woo my wife again and convince her she doesn’t need to fucking work.
Twenty minutes later I pull up next to my wife’s shit box and switch my bike off shaking my head.
Fuck’s sake.
Climbing off, I head inside and notice Brit instantly.
She freezes seeing me and I raise a brow causing her shoulders to drop as she lifts her left hand and points her pen at the door at the end and I nod, walking that way saying, “Before you snap his head off, Doc didn’t tell me,” not needing her to take anymore anger out on the poor idiot who I’m pretty sure knows about Ash’s job but didn’t want to piss her off any more than he already has.
Ever since he threatened to take my son away from my wife, Brit has been giving him hell or so he explained on his check-ups while I was away.
The guy needs a break, preferably before their daughter picks up on her mother’s jabs.
I slowly open the door without knocking, ready to lose it with her for getting a cleaning job only to stop short at the picture before me. My heart pumping so fucking hard I feel like I’m about to have a heart attack at how fucking proud I feel right now.
My wife, with her blonde hair up in a messy bun, wearing navy blue scrubs as she injects a puppy.
Holy shit!
My heart skips a beat as her words from nearly three years ago come back to me, sucking me in.
“Tomorrow night, can we have a date night?” she asks, lifting the needle off my skin to dip it. “Just you and me,” she says, looking at me. “I want to tell you something, but I want to do it in a nice romantic setting.”
“And you can’t tell me now?” I ask with a smirk, but she smiles widely and shakes her head.
“I actually have two truths to tell you, but I want to do it right, please...” She whispers.
Was her second truth that she was attending school?
Was that where she disappeared to everyday before going to the store?
“Just give me one second, Ty,” Ash says as she concentrates on the puppy, not actually realizing that I’m here, her body already knowing I am, the fact she just called me Ty proof of that. Fuck me, how I have missed hearing her calling me that.
I smile softly watching as she pets the puppy before picking it up and placing it in a crate before she goes to the sink and washes her hands and it’s only when she’s drying them she realizes that I actually am here and she turns to look at me in shock.
“Hey pixie, nice scrubs,” I say softly with a smirk forming as I lean against the table, crossing my arms over my chest.
Fuck she looks hot…
“Thanks,” she whispers absentmindedly before muttering, “Dirty is so dead,” and I snort.
See, I fucking knew Dirty knew.
“Dirty didn’t tell me,” I admit and she frowns and confirms, “Doc?” and I shake my head and admit, “Our son, who by the way, is fucking weird.”
She glares at me and snaps, “Tyler Cole! Do not call our son weird!”
I raise a brow and smirk as I inform her, “Our son was sitting on the kitchen floor when I walked downstairs to find him glaring at Ginger. Who by the way, was glaring back at him because he wanted to see if he can psych the damn cat out of being a terror. I mean you couldn’t bring home a soft little kitten? ”
Ash blinks, then blinks again before she mutters, “Okay, yeah, that is weird.”
I nod because yep, but that is our son for you.
“He seems different, happier,” I start off, going in slow and she sighs.
“I know what you’re doing,” she says, seeing right through me but I shrug and say, “I don’t care. He’s happy, you’re sleeping better, you are both where you belong, Ash, in our home, with me.”
She sighs but I continue, “All night you slept in my arms, all night you had your nose pressed up against my neck, your fingers gripping your wedding ring. Your body knows where it belongs, pixie.”
“But my head knows what you did,” she whispers and I hate it but I fucking flinch at the reminder.
“I gave you everything, Tyler, everything and you threw it all away” she says and her eyes tear as she chokes, “You chose me, you claimed me and I’m the one who got shat on everyday by girls at school, your mama, my parents, even the brothers I thought who had my back. I lost everything because of you.”
“You love me, pixie,” I remind her not refuting her words because I know they are true then I nod to her stomach, “You’re having my baby again, that has to mean something.”
Ash drops her head knowing I’m right and I walk over to her and cup her cheek, forcing her to look at me, her soft skin sending a fire deep inside me.
“I fucking love you, Ashley, I love you so much the pain I put you through, I nearly killed myself over it. I’ve thought about doing it several times while I was away which was why I stayed gone for so long,” I whisper as I gently rub my thumb over her cheeks, wiping away the few tears that fall and I place my forehead against hers, breathing in her vanilla and coconut smell, a smell I have missed so much and I plead, “Come see Dr. Chimes again. I know you’ve been seeing her while I was away but, please, together, let’s go and see her and finally hash everything out, the good, the bad, the really fucking ugly with a buffer between us. ”
Ashley closes her eyes and sighs and I beg, “Please, pixie, I am fucking begging you, come back to therapy, give me a chance that I know I don’t deserve. Let me show you how fucking guilty I really am and how much I cannot survive without you, please…”
She opens her eyes and I hold my breath.
I can’t fucking lose her, I can’t, and no matter what I do she keeps pulling away from me and I need her pulled back in. Preferably in my arms where she has always belonged.